Imperfect

by Ari Reavis

  “Miller,” Damir states as he rolls down the window. “What a surprise,” he deadpans.

  “License, registration, and insurance,” Miller says as he leans down and looks at me instead of Damir while he speaks.

  With a muscle in his jaw ticking, Damir hands him everything he asked for.

  “Your license too,” Miller says to me.

  “For?” I ask.

  “Because I said so,” he snaps.

  “She’s not driving, so you have no reason to need her license,” Damir points out.

  Miller’s eyes cut to Damir. “Yes. You would be well versed in law, wouldn’t you?” Miller looks at me again. “Do you know you’re dating a criminal?”

  Damir’s hands clench into fists on his lap at the word.

  “I do,” I reply. “Do you know what you’re doing is called harassment?”

  “Oh, so you’re just a fool then.”

  Damir’s hand lifts, to do what I don’t know, but I quickly grab him by his wrist and bring it against my chest. I can feel the tension thrumming through his arm when I bring his fist to my lips. When I look over to Miller, he has a feral smile on his face, maybe taking pleasure in being able to fluster Damir.

  “Are you giving us a ticket for something or just stopping us so you can be an asshole?” I growl.

  “You know, I think your headlight is out,” he ducks his head out of the window. “Yeah, the left one.”

  I glance out the windshield and can clearly see both lights shining. When I look back over to Miller, he’s writing out the ticket, but at this point, I just want him to hand over the ticket and fuck off. I can still feel Damir’s barely contained rage. Damir snatches the ticket out of Miller’s outstretched hand, and Miller hits the top of the car before strolling off.

  “See you soon,” Miller states, or maybe warns, as he walks away.

  “I’m sorry,” Damir says through clenched teeth.

  “What the hell are you sorry for?” My head jerks back in surprise.

  “The way he talked to you,” he explains. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to smash his face in more than I do right now. And I’m sorry you have to deal with this shit.”

  I chuckle and cross the armrest to kiss his cheek.

  “Do you think I was raised in la-la land or something? I’ve had to deal with cops a hell of a lot more than tonight, trust me. He’s not the first asshole cop I’ve ever had call me a name. I’m fine. No, actually I’m pissed, but none of that is directed at you. I’m pissed for you.”

  The tension finally leaves his hand, and he links his fingers with mine as he blows out a deep breath.

  “Another ticket to pay.” He shakes his head. “I’m so sick of this bullshit.”

  “Has it always been like this?”

  “It seems this asshole is stepping up the bullshit lately. Usually he bothers me every once in a while, but this is my fourth time seeing him this month. Must have too much time on his hands.”

  “And I’m guessing if you report him, it won’t do any good?”

  “I wouldn’t even go down to the station and waste my breath or time.”

  I place my hand on his cheek and turn his face towards me. When I bring my lips to his, I finally feel his mouth curve in a smile after a few seconds.

  “That’s better,” I say.

  “Much better.”

  “Well at least we know you won’t be dealing with this next weekend.”

  “Yeah.” He grins. “Then we’ll be dealing with a whole nother type of fire.”

  I groan.

  After Damir’s dropped me off at home, and I’ve showered and thrown on some sweatpants and a T-shirt, I call Liam.

  “She lives,” he answers.

  “Oh please. I spoke to you like three days ago.” I roll my eyes.

  “You been hanging out with the love of your life?”

  “Just came back from dinner with him.”

  “So you admit it then?”

  “Save your reverse psychology for those women you bring home.”

  “Woman,” he states.

  “Hmm?”

  “I’m only bringing one woman home these days.”

  My eyes damn near pop out of my head. My brother has never, ever had a girlfriend. He isn’t a player, treating women like shit or anything, but he’s never settled down and committed to a woman, always saying that obviously being in a relationship doesn’t mean anything, if our parents were anything to go by. So, if he not only has a girlfriend, but is telling me about her, this woman is something special.

  “Tell...me...everything.”

  He chuckles. “Her name is Nia. She’s beautiful, smart, shy. I met her at the community center. She’s the new counselor and so great with the kids. We’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks.”

  “Wow, Liam. My cheeks hurt from how much I’m smiling right now. I always told you some woman would come and catch your heart.”

  “It was like the moment I saw her, my mind refused to think about any other woman. She was laughing with one of the kids, and my heart damn near jumped out of my chest.”

  “Oh my God, you’re killing me right now.

  “Shut up. You’re making me feel all gushy.”

  “Love will do that.” I sigh.

  “Nobody’s talking about love right now.”

  “You may not be talking about it, but you damn sure sound like you’re falling hard.”

  “And what about you?”

  “Oh, I’m definitely falling, but unlike you, I don’t feel the need to deny it. I’m actually going with him to meet his parents next weekend.”

  “Oh the big times. You ready for that? And I don’t mean ready to take that step, I mean ready to meet his parents?”

  “That’s what I told him I was worried about. It’s not like we ever sat down and just talked to our parents about...anything really. I don’t really know how to be in their house for two days and have anything to chit-chat about.”

  He scoffs. “Unless we were gonna talk about what type of liquor Lisa wanted or telling Ken where we’d like him to hit us next, there wasn’t much to talk about.”

  He has never called them Mom and Dad as long as I can remember. As a child, I found it odd that we called them different things, but I soon realized why and started calling them by their names as well. They didn’t deserve to be called Mom and Dad when they certainly didn’t act like it.

  “But you’re great at talking to people. You can make friends anywhere you go, so I’m sure talking to them will be no problem.”

  “I’ll take your word for it, I guess. But whoa, whoa. Back to this girlfriend. When am I gonna meet her?”

  “When I think she’s ready to deal with all your crazy.”

  I gasp. “My crazy? Are you serious? At least I wouldn’t threaten her life when I meet her.”

  “That’s what brothers do. But...I’ll think about. I need to make sure she’s at the same place as me before I introduce her to you.”

  “I’m sure she is.”

  He chuckles. “And how do you know that?”

  “Because you’re an amazing guy and any woman who didn’t love you back would be a damn fool.”

  “Well I’ll believe Nia loves me, and you’ll believe meeting Damir’s parents is gonna go great.”

  “Deal.”

  “Alright well I’ve got a date, so I’ll talk to you later.”

  I shriek. “I’m so excited, and I don’t even know a single thing about what you’re even about to do with her. Go, go. Have so much fun. I love you, big brother.”

  “Love you, little sister.”

  Liam remains on my mind as I listen to the playground aide explain why Matthew is being returned from recess early today. I look at Matthew out the corner of my eye, convincing myself, yet again, to try and get to the root of why he’s acting out. The way I wish someone would have done with Liam when we were younger. But it’s pretty hard to think I’m going to get through to him this time, being that t
his is the third time I’ve had to talk to him this week alone.

  “Thank you,” I say to the aide before sitting behind my desk. I sigh when Matthew just slouches in the chair and crosses his arms. “Why did you do it Matthew? And please don’t say I don’t know because we have had this talk enough times for you to know what you’re doing is wrong by now.”

  “I was just playing with her.” He shrugs.

  “There’s a difference between playing and hurting. She told you she didn’t want to play with you. That means leave her alone and maybe ask her again another day. It does not mean begin chasing her around the playground with a worm.”

  “It’s just a bug.”

  I give him an exasperated face. “Would you like me to chase you around with a spider in my hands.”

  “I’m not afraid of spiders.”

  “That’s not the...” I take a deep breath. “Matthew, Monday, you pushed Rashad in the cafeteria. Do you remember why you told me you did it?”

  “He didn’t wanna sit with me.”

  I nod. “And Wednesday, you took Mikalya’s pencil and licked it. Do you remember why?”

  “She didn’t give me an invitation to her birthday party.”

  “You keep acting out because people don’t want to play with you, or don’t include you in something. And I’m going to tell you why they don’t. You’re mean Matthew. You’re mean.”

  His eyebrows furrow. “I ask them, nicely, like you tell me to. They still say no.”

  “So then that means you get to hurt them because they say no?”

  “My daddy said it’s okay to be angry.”

  Lord. Given the conversation I’ve had with his father, I can just imagine how he really explained that to Matthew.

  “It is okay to be mad, or maybe, you’re actually hurt. But it’s not okay to do mean things to people because they don’t want to play with you, or give you something. If they say no, walk away. So that maybe next time, they’ll say yes. But if you just keep acting the same way, no one will ever want to be your friend. Do you want a friend?”

  “Yes,” he mumbles, and even his reluctance to admit that worries me.

  “Then how about we try being nice? Maybe help out around the classroom, say nicer words when we’re all working together. No more calling people names if they don’t get an answer right, or if you don’t want to wait for your turn. No more making fun of people. Nice. Let’s try that for a while, and I bet you’ll have lots of friends.”

  “And what if they still don’t want to be my friend?” he asks low.

  “Then I’ll come out to the playground myself, and we can play any game you want.”

  He smiles, the first genuine one I’ve seen from him. “A race?”

  “Sure. Do we have a deal?”

  I extend my hand to him. He looks at it for a second before placing his small hand in mine.

  “Nice, Matthew,” I say as our hands come apart. “In your actions and your words. I know it’ll make a big difference.”

  “I’ll...try.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Do you...do you have to tell my dad about it? About me being nicer?”

  I tilt my head, concern filling me at his question. “Is there a reason you don’t want me to?”

  He looks away from me. “He’s always saying I need to be tougher, to stop being such a baby. If...if you tell him I’m being nice, he’s gonna say I’m being soft.”

  Concern is quickly replaced with anger. “There’s nothing wrong with being nice Matthew. No one likes a mean person. They make people sad and hurt their feelings. That’s no fun to be around, is it?” He shakes his head, and I continue, “No, I won’t tell him. But I’m sure he’ll be glad that I won’t have to call him so much because you’re doing better with the other kids in class, right?”

  He shrugs. “I guess.”

  The other kids begin coming back from recess and Matthew turns around, watching them enter the classroom. Some of the kids cast him weary glances, and I can see him deflate a little before his mouth tightens with his invisible hackles rising again.

  “It’s not all going to happen in a day Matthew,” I say low. “The kids have to see you being nice, day after day to know that you mean it, okay? And I’ll be here to help you. Even if you start to get mad, you can just come and tell me, and we can talk, just like this. Or we can go get a book from the library. You could even help me make copies of the homework sheets.”

  His face screws up at the mention of homework, and it softens my heart towards him just a little more. In the end, he’s just a little boy who’s been told he needed to be tougher, grow harder to be in this world. Who wants friends, but has no idea how to go about getting them. Who can’t realize his actions only push people further away from him.

  When Mikayla begins frantically emptying out her backpack, I ask. “Are you okay Mikayla?”

  Her worried eyes come to me. “I can’t find my keychain. My mom just gave it to me this morning. It was LOL Surprise.”

  She looks inside her desk, but I spot it on the floor near the cubbies that the kids keep their things in.

  “It’s right there.” I point out quietly to Matthew. “How about you get it and give it back to her? That would be a good first step.”

  He swallows and nods before getting out of the chair. No one notices him walking to the cubbies. He bends over to pick up the keychain and closes his hand around it. I can see the hesitancy in him as he looks between his hand and a still searching Mikayla. Then his eyes come to me. I give him an encouraging nod, and he begins walking towards her.

  I can barely hear him over the students talking when he says, “I found it.”

  He opens his hand, but Mikayla doesn’t take it.

  “Did you lick it?” she asks.

  He shakes his head. “I didn’t. I promise.”

  She takes it from his hand. “Thank you. It’s my favorite.”

  “But...you said you just got it this morning.”

  She puts her hand on her hip in the cutest way. “So, it’s been my favorite since this morning.”

  “Oh, okay.” He shrugs. “Dinosaurs are my favorite.”

  “I don’t know anything about dinosaurs.”

  “I can bring some in and show you,” he excitedly says.

  I hold my breath, hoping she accepts his offer, even if I really couldn’t blame her if she doesn’t.

  “Okay. But then I get to tell you about LOL Surprise too.”

  “Okay.”

  I release a relived breath before standing from my chair. Matthew walks to his desk, and I dare say I see him trying to hide a smile.

  “Alright, guys.” I call the class to attention. “Let’s get out our science books.”

  “Aww.” The class collectively groans.

  I leave the school right after getting the last kid on the school bus. Cursing myself for leaving the packing until the last minute, I speed home to make sure I can be ready by the time Damir gets to my house. Opening my small suitcase, I keep all the sexy outfits firmly in my closet and pack some T-shirts, jeans, and a few jackets since it seems like fall is determined to come earlier than is fair. My doorbell rings as I’m zipping up my bag, and a surge of nervousness rushes through me. I can do this, I can do this... I hope. But a lot of that anxiety disappears when I open the door and see Damir smiling back at me.

  “Hey, sexy,” he greets me.

  “Hello there, handsome.”

  He steps forward and kisses me, taking his time slipping his tongue into my mouth and tasting me. His hand slides down my back until it’s resting at the bottom of my spine, and I moan into his mouth. He pulls away far too soon.

  “We have to stop, or we’ll never get on the road.” He grins.

  “I mean...” I arch a brow.

  “One thing to know about my mom. She hates people being late. Hates is an understatement really. She always taught me being late meant you didn’t respect the other person or their time, so us being late would be a h
orrible foot to start off on.”

  “Got ya. Let’s go. Now.”

  He chuckles and walks past me to grab my bag from behind me. I go into the kitchen and get the box I’m bringing for his mother off the kitchen counter. Once my bag is in the trunk and we’re in our seats, we start our drive to meet his parents. The trip is mostly spent listening to songs and eating all the junk food Damir bought along, and I mean all the junk food.

  “How have all your teeth not rotted out of your mouth?” I chuckle.

  “Brushing twice a day.” He flashes his perfect teeth over at me.

  “You’re horrible.” I shake my head.

  “We’re almost there.”

  “Any last minute advice you wanna give me?”

  “You don’t need advice. I already know they’re gonna love you, just because I—” He abruptly cuts himself off.

  I get what he was about to say well enough and smile over at him. If only he knew how badly I want to say those words to him as well. But I’ll wait until the way I feel is so strong I can barely contain the words to tell him.

  “Okay,” I say low in the silence of the car.

  “Anything you have in mind to do while we’re here?”

  I shrug. “Whatever you usually do when you visit is fine with me.”

  “We usually all go to the movies, maybe out to eat. There’s a mall nearby that my mom basically just loves to window shop in.” He chuckles. “My dad offers to buy her this and that, and she always refuses.”

  “Oh, I used to do a lot of window shopping when I was younger, although not for the love of it.”

  “So how did you get things back then?”

  “My brother. I never asked where the money came from. I knew it wasn’t from him having a job, and I didn’t wanna embarrass him by asking, but anything I told him I needed, he got me. Clothes, food, school supplies, anything. I didn’t want to ask him for much though. He didn’t need more responsibility than he already had. He even had to pay the rent and bills more than a few times when we lived with my parents. Times when my parents didn’t care if the lights were on or if we had hot water.”

  I shake my head. “Then when we got the apartment, everything was on him, so although I know he would’ve found a way to get me whatever I wanted, I just window shopped instead. But I got a job when I turned fifteen, so I was able to help out some and get my own stuff. Even though I smelled like fryer oil all day.” I laugh.