BenBee and the Teacher Griefer
Page 8
from the puffs of
almost cold air
drafting down and around
the stairs
and I get these feelings
all at once:
sadhappy
happysad
lovemad
madlove
hurtsmile
smilehurt
as I look
at the words,
in this Sandbox book
Benicio
would have loved.
It’s Ben Y,
I say.
And I wonder
if wherever he is,
he can hear me,
if he knows
I’ve taken his name,
if he knows
everything
it means to me.
JORDAN
I know Ms. J is very very new at Sandbox, but she is also very very bad at Sandbox even though apparently Javier stayed after school to help her. I feel kind of bad for her especially since she did her homework like we asked her to and she still got a bad avatar name and keeps running directly into walls like the Kool-Aid Man except not on purpose like the Kool-Aid Man.
There is one amazing thing about how Ms. J plays though and that is no matter how many walls she crashes into or how many cliffs she walks off of or how many times she walks in a circle because she doesn’t understand the controls, she hasn’t said one bad word or smashed her fists on the keyboard or anything. She keeps laughing and listening and saying Jordan J please type words and sentences not just emojis, I don’t understand where all your words have gone. And then she gets a chat infraction and everyone yells CAREFUL and laughs a lot. And Ben Y says Jordan J would use up all the words and leave none for us and also be the king of chat infractions if he didn’t use only emojis. Plus also we need his big smart brain to think of cool things instead of being distracted by typing.
Only, Ben Y doesn’t say exactly that because hello that is way too many words which is a chat infraction just waiting to happen.
Chat infraction is the worst. Why did the game designers do that?
[fart noise]
omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg Ms J just made that fart noise, not me NOT ME hahahahaha and now everyone is laughing so so hard because what! Ms J making a fart noise?! what! and now we are all making fart noises and Ms. J finally figured out how to use her pickax without stabbing Ben Y 4528452 times so we are all cheering extra loud and she says, Shhhhhh this is typing practice you guys, no cheering in typing practice but she’s smiling and laughing and we are all so proud of her that no one yells at her for mining the diamonds out of the side of the pyramid we just built out of diamonds.
I saw Javier look up and smile really fast when the rest of us were laughing and I wish he would read out loud so he could play with us. Maybe there’s something we can do to let him know that his stutter is fine and no one cares. I mean the rest of us are terrible at reading out loud and it sucks and we know how it feels to not want to do it but WE do it and that means he can, too.
Ugh ugh speaking of things that no one wants to do but that we have to do sometimes, I just remembered that Mom asked me to go with her to the vet after school because Spartacus did not want to go for her morning walk today which was super weird because her morning walk is her favorite all time thing other than sneak attack leaping on my face when I eat ice cream. Except this morning she was asleep even when I said Hey Spartacus, ready to roll and when she woke up for a second she coughed a lot which is a thing I didn’t know dogs could do until Spartacus started doing it a few months ago. It was kinda funny at first, cough cough HWACK like she had a super loogie, but it isn’t funny anymore because it’s all the time and it scares me and I really really really really don’t want to go to the vet with Mom and now my brain feels like it has worry wrinkles in it and worry wrinkles are not my favorite because they trip up all my other thoughts and my other thoughts fall in the wrinkles which means that ALL my thoughts get trapped in the worry wrinkles and now all my thoughts will be worries about Spartacus.
Right, yeah, high five and bye, Ms. J. Yeah, yeah, everything is okay. Super cool no trouble at all nothing to see here move along. For real I’m fine. I’m definitely not thinking about Spartacus and I definitely do not have brain wrinkles or a stomachache right now. Nope definitely not any of those things.
Dang it’s like she has some kind of X-ray vision that sees brain wrinkles, I don’t even know but the way she looked at me was like laserlaserlasereyes into my face, but nice laser eyes, not evil super-villain laser eyes, and whew that was close because I almost said something about Spartacus but then I was like nahhhhh maybe don’t do that, maybe let’s not say any of this out loud, cool? Cool. So now I’m walking around the back of the school because maybe if I get home late I won’t have to go with Mom to the vet and also dance team summer practice is about to start and yeah whatever I know I’m not on the dance team but that is one hundred percent Their Loss and they don’t know that I can stand by the window in the gym door that’s outside and by the trees and I can learn their moves and add better moves of my own and practice until it gets dark and Mom texts, Jordan, where are you? Call me right now.
Dance moves all snap together like LEGOs, if you think about it, like you can see one LEGO or one dance move and be like wait I don’t think that LEGO or dance move is going to jive with that other LEGO or dance move, but then you find a little connector LEGO or dance move that fits them both and joins them up snap snap snap, slide slide slide, all smooth-like and you go whoa whoa whoa check out how this looks, who would’ve known? But now YOU know because you’re the linker-upper, you’re the fitter-together-er. It’s like my brain speaks a lot of weird languages other brains don’t speak and dance is one of those languages. I mean I’m just dancing right here outside the gym, where no one can see me or tell me if I’m doing it right or doing it wrong, but I know it’s right because my body knows the language and I stop for a second because I get my second brain wrinkle of the day imagining what my life would be like if I could figure out how letters and words and sentences fit together like limbs and bodies and spins.
JAVIER
CHAT
Divergent Dingleberries
Private server created by: BenBee
Password required
Avatar name: JJ11347
Password: • • • • •
Remember! Ghost Season is coming! Protect your lives, your health, and your gold by avoiding ghosts at all costs. Think you can outsmart the ghosts by logging out? Think again! All logged out avatars will remain in sleeping mode, so make sure you’re protected. Get melted during Ghost Season? Gonna cost ya!
In order to bring you the very best game possible, Sandbox is moving to a pay-per-play model. Survive Ghost Season? You’ll maintain VIP status and continue on the free platform. Get melted? You can retrieve your gold and items when you sign up for one of our affordable monthly plans. Click here for more details.
BenBee: That looks really great, Ms. J. Keep it up.
JJ11347: Your sentences look really great, Ben B. Keep it up!
BenBee: It makes typing too slow.
JJ11347: We’re going for accuracy, not speed, plus you’re already lightning fast. In fact, let’s talk after cl—
CHAT INFRACTION
JJ11347: Argh! About how typing might help you IN class.
BenBee: Huh? I’m typing in class right now.
JJ11347: I mean, typing your notes. Typing your tests. Things like that.
0BenwhY: You know what’s not fast?
0BenwhY: Your building skillz, Ms. J.
0BenwhY: tick tock
JJ11347: “Skills.” Also, please put tick-tock in a complete sentence.
0BenwhY: omg
0BenwhY: I hear a tick tock in my brain clock that means we are all going to get melted because you are so sl—
CHAT INFRACTION
0BenwhY
: aaargggh. Complete sentences ruin the game!!
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!:
JJ11347: Please phrase that in the form of a sentence, Jordan J.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: benygotachatinfractionanditwassofunnyomgshesjustlikeyou
JJ11347: Jordan J, that’s your first warning today. Do you want to sit out?
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!:
JJ11347: Jordan J! Do you want to sit out?
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: Could I sit with Javier?
JJ11347: Good sentence, but don’t test me. And no.
0BenwhY: Chat is so much funnier with Javier.
JJ11347: Well, Javier is going to have to start reading in class like everyone else.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: He’s never going to read out loud because he stutters.
0BenwhY: JORDAN J! THAT’S NOT YOUR BUSINESS TO TELL!
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: But its true. We should do something to show him he’s normal and ok.
0BenwhY: omg, of course Javier is a normal person, Jordan. Who would think he wasn’t???
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: Well I mean *he* might.
JJ11347: Oh, Jordan J.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: ms j please do not look at me like your face is melting I’m telling the truth.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: we could all stand up to show our support like in the Spartacus movie except we could say I AM JAVIE—
CHAT INFRACTION
JJ11347: I don’t think that’s exactly how that movie worked, Jordan J.
JJ11347: Speaking of how things work, how do I get a pork chop out of this pig?
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: but everyone was brave and stood up for each other in that movie
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: and that’s why I named my dog Spartacus
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: just kill it. with your pick ax.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: kill the PIG, not Ben Y!! Ben Y is not made of pork chops!
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: Don’t be a teacher griefer! Come on!
JJ11347: I apologize for stabbing you, Ben Y. These axes aren’t easy to use.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: YES THEY ARE.
JJ11347: Please watch your tone, Jordan J.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: TYPING HAS A TONE?
JJ11347: Indeed it can. Please tap your caps lock button so that you stop shouting at me.
BenBee: so what can we do to help?
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: Ms. J? Or me? She needs more lessons. I already hit the cap lock.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: oh, or do you mean Spartacus? Because she’s sick?
BenBee: No no. Javier. What can we do to help Javier? Tho sorry to hear about Spartacus.
BenBee: I don’t think Ms. J will ever get a pork chop.
JJ11347: Hey! Unfair! I am still learning!
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: Now look whos shouting. Exclamation points mean shouting, too!
JJ11347: Jordan J, I’m learning you can be quite argumentative in chat.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: thank you.
JJ11347: That was not a compliment.
0BenwhY: let’s all brainstorm tonight. and when it’s Javier’s turn to read tomorrow, boom, we show the love.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!:
0BenwhY: okay okay, back to it. We only have a few minutes left. Ms. J can you hold this?
JJ11347: Sure. What is it?
0BenwhY: Are you holding it? Okay.
0BenwhY: Push the up arrow on your keyboard fastly.
JJ11347: Fastly is not a word.
JJ11347: I’m pushing it.
0BenwhY: Keep doing it.
BenBee: More.
JJ11347: Ahhh! What just happened? What am I doing? Am I FLYING?
0BenwhY: Ha! You’re doing it!
BenBee: Good job!
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: GoodjobMsJNoRelation!
0BenwhY: You pooped your first fairy, Ms. J. Congratulations.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: Ms. J pooped a fairy!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!
JJ11347: I WHAT?
BenBee: hahahaha
0BenwhY: POPPED. POPPED.
0BenwhY: Popped a fairy! Killed it for the dust! So she can fly! Shut up!
JJ11347: Settle down. Settle down. I don’t know how I feel about being a fairy killer. I wish the game desig—
CHAT INFRACTION
BenBee: hahaha
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!:
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: I mean, ha ha ha, I am laughing in full sentences.
0BenwhY: you’re just doing it on purpose now, Ms. J, aren’t you?
JJ11347: GAH. NO I AM NOT.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: i never do it on purpose either.
JJ11347: That was a lovely sentence, Jordan.
JJ11347: Wow! Am I already at the amusement park??
JJ11347: Is that the ocean??
BenBee: Fast and far. I’m still mad that wasn’t a choice in the book. Totally worth fairy carnage.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: Totally worth pooping fairies, you mean?
JJ11347: This is a strange game.
JJ11347: Excellent sentence structure, Jordan J, but you are on thin ice.
0BenwhY: You’re really good at flying, Ms. J.
JJ11347: Thank you, Benita. You’re really good at this game. A master.
JJ11347: I am quite impressed.
0BenwhY: It’s Ben Y. And you’re getting better, you know.
0BenwhY: I think you might actually mine diamonds faster than me.
0BenwhY: one day you might even figure out how to eat a pork chop
JJ11347: Wow! Really?
0BenwhY: No!
JJ11347: That’s not very nice, Ben Y.
0BenwhY: Then why are you laughing?
JJ11347: That’s the bell, kids. Pack up your stuff.
JJ11347: Hey, Ben Y. How do I get out of this tree?
0BenwhY HAS EXITED GAME
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!! HAS EXITED GAME
JJ11347: Can someone help me out of this tree? Ben B?
JJ11347: Ben B?
BenBee HAS EXITED GAME
JJ11347: Fine. I’ll figure it out myself.
CHAT
Divergent Dingleberries
Private server created by: BenBee
Password required
Avatar name: JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!
Password: • • • • •
Remember! Ghost Season is coming! Protect your lives, your health, and your gold by avoiding ghosts at all costs. Think you can outsmart the ghosts by logging out? Think again! All logged out avatars will remain in sleeping mode, so make sure you’re protected. Get melted during Ghost Season? Gonna cost ya!
In order to bring you the very best game possible, Sandbox is moving to a pay-per-play model. Survive Ghost Season? You’ll maintain VIP status and continue on the free platform. Get melted? You can retrieve your gold and items when you sign up for one of our affordable monthly plans. Click here for more details.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: is it just me or is it starting to feel weird?
0BenwhY: is what starting to feel weird?
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: not having Ms. J in chat with us all the time.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: like, here we are, hanging by the chickenfall, and she’s not here.
0BenwhY: you want to be chatting with your teacher after dinner?
0BenwhY: when we’re not even in school?
0BenwhY: and after we already chatted with her for ten whole minutes in class?
0BenwhY: *that* is weird.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: i don’t know. maybe. but she’s kind of funny in a dumb way.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: i don’t mean dumb in a mean way.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: wait. look at that. ^^ how many meanings does mean have?
0BenwhY: JORDAN J STAY ON TASK. WHY DID YOU ASK US ALL HERE?
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: I want you all to trust me, ok. the I AM JAVIER thing is a great idea.
0BenwhY: is it?
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: why not?
0BenwhY: i don’t know, he seems kind of like a private dude
0BenwhY:
what if we embarrass him
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: we are so not embarrassing him! We’re helping him! just like when spartacus helps all the people to—
CHAT INFRACTION
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!:
BenBee ENTERS GAME
BenBee: hey hey hey, how’s that pyramid looking
BenBee: i see its looking . . . exactly the same as it did last night
BenBee: ghost season approacheth, y’all. we are going to be shiitake out of luck without shelter
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: shiitake what? isn’t that a ? hahahaha
0BenwhY: 100% out of luck unless someone knows the ghostkiller potion
BenBee: hardee har har, if only that potion was real
0BenwhY: it’s totally real
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: i feel like we’re getting off topic
0BenwhY: oh look who’s on topic all of a sudden
0BenwhY: i get it, we want to help Javier read in class. like, feel comfortable or whatever
0BenwhY: also i never ever ever want to read more than my fair share ever again
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: that’s what i’m saying! if all of us y’alls help javier, then he’ll read and no one else has to dou—