In Her Candy Jar: A Romantic Comedy

by Alina Jacobs

"This isn't what I wrote at all," I grumbled as Garrett stuck his head in the room and looked around appreciatively.

  "It's better," Josie told me. "Trust me."

  "Garrett, we can't do the presentation like this."

  Garrett gave me an annoyed look. "It's not anything that serious. Most of the employees just ignore it. You should see the glazed looks," he said to Josie.

  "You won't have any glazed looks with what I've prepared," Josie promised. Garrett came over and flicked through the slides.

  "She changed everything," I said.

  "It looks great," Garrett replied. "All the information's here."

  "Broadcasting in ten," Lenny said from behind the camera.

  Josie stepped up to me and swept a hand through my hair. "You look a little frazzled," she said. "Smile! You're a good-looking guy. Be the confident CEO. Also, let's get rid of this."

  She unbuttoned my jacket. The muscles in my stomach twitched as her hands grazed my abs.

  "We're a conservative pharmaceutical company," I protested. Josie tossed the jacket on a chair then undid my cufflinks, pocketed them, and rolled up my sleeves. Then she undid my tie. She draped it around her neck and undid the top button on my collar. The part of my mind that wasn't reeling from the abrupt change to the presentation format was wondering what she would look like wearing that tie and nothing else.

  "Are you undressing me?" I asked her.

  "Not like that!" she said and winked. "Though maybe tonight." She stuck her tongue out at me. "I just want to make you seem more approachable." She fussed with my hair some more. My skin felt tingly when her nails grazed my scalp.

  She stepped back, inspected her work critically, then smiled broadly. "You look good!"

  "Broadcasting in three!" Lenny announced. I could see a few hundred employees gathered in the lobby below, watching the presentation on a large screen.

  Josie mimed, Smile, as Lenny cued the camera to start.

  As I gave the presentation, I had to admit it flowed much better than anything I could have created. Josie mouthed along with the speech as I talked and made exaggerated gestures when she wanted me to emote more. The little jokes and funny comments she had written into the script helped break up the dry, corporate information. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that the people below in the lobby were all engaged and attentive to what I was saying. I even heard them laughing at the jokes, which had never happened before.

  When I finished, Josie gave me a thumbs-up. I felt a grin spread on my face.

  Tara was waiting outside the door when we left. "That was inspirational," she gushed, clasping her hands together. "You were amazing!"

  "It was Josie's doing," I admitted.

  Tara's expression went dark. "She made your presentation?"

  Josie smiled blandly at her. "You know, just helping out my boss, doing assistant things."

  "You did much more than that," I told her seriously. "Greg didn't tell me you were so good at graphics and communication."

  "She's just full of surprises, isn't she?" Tara said, the skin around her eyes tense.

  "It was nice of you to come by, but I guess you have that super-duper secret marketing meeting you need to go to," Josie said to Tara.

  "Don't let us keep you," I told the marketing director. "It's very important that the product launch go well."

  "I had breakfast delivered," Josie said as we walked into my office. There was a bag of sandwiches sitting on my desk.

  "Are you planning on feeding the whole office?" I asked as she rummaged through the paper sack.

  "I might have ordered extra for lunch," she said, selecting two croissants. She held one out to me. "Did you eat?" she asked.

  "I had oatmeal."

  "Then you can have a second breakfast."

  "It's not in my schedule."

  "You're scheduled to do planning for the next week," she informed me. "So we can work and eat." She sat on my desk and unwrapped the croissant sandwich. "It has sausage, egg, and cheese." Josie waved it in front of my face. "Take a bite," she whispered. "It's tasty."

  She looked tasty perched on my desk. I could see the faint outline of her panties through the skirt. To quell thoughts of her underthings, I took a bite of the offered sandwich.

  "Good, right?" she asked. "Once you have a taste, you'll want to eat the whole thing."

  Yes, I thought.

  Josie made notes as we went through my schedule. I didn't see how she could read that chicken scratch she wrote in. It looked like alien writing.

  "Hunter and Greg are here," Adrian announced, opening the door. "Wait, you have breakfast sandwiches? That's not healthy!"

  I stuffed the last bit into my mouth and threw the wrapper in the trash can. "I'm not eating it," I said around a mouthful of food. Adrian glared at me. "Josie was eating it," I told him. "I didn't have any."

  "You're lying!"

  "There's plenty more," Josie said, offering him the bag.

  "It's going to be fine," I heard Hunter bark at Garrett.

  "No, it's not! You need to apologize to her," my CFO shouted. "This is outrageous. I have to pull over every time someone calls me. And it's your fault."

  "I said, drop it," Hunter growled at Garrett.

  We all stared at Hunter and Garrett as they pushed past Adrian into the room. Greg came in behind them, scowl firmly in place.

  "Do you need anything for your meeting?" Josie asked.

  "You can bring Hunter some balls," Garrett snapped. Josie dutifully took out her notepad.

  "Don't write that down," Hunter huffed. "I swear, Greg, I thought Mace was exaggerating with how useless this girl is."

  Josie looked shocked. Adrian froze midbite of his sandwich.

  "Apologize," I told Hunter. My voice sounded flat and cold. My older brother glowered at me but didn't say a word.

  "You aren't allowed to insult my employees," I continued. "Josie has been very valuable."

  Garrett sniffed. "I see, Hunter, you still haven't learned your lesson about not screwing over women."

  "My apologies," Hunter said to Josie after a moment.

  "Sure," she replied. Her voice sounded a little faint. I hoped she was okay. "Breakfast sandwich?"

  "See, Hunter," Garrett said, his voice laced with venom. "An apology isn't that difficult. Just go to Meg, tell her truthfully that you're a big fat idiot, and ask if she would please have the cell phone law repealed."

  "Wait, that law is because of you?" Josie blurted out. "The police pulled me over and wrote me a ticket. I can't pay that fine!"

  "Expense it," Garrett said. "And I'll have the company bill Hunter."

  "Seriously?" Josie asked.

  "Yes. Give me some paper; I'll write down the code you need. I made a special one just for this situation." He glared at Hunter as Josie handed him her notebook. Garrett stopped for a moment, cocked his head, and looked at the notepad.

  "Her writing is pretty bad, isn't it?" I joked. "I don't know how she reads it."

  Garrett turned his head to look at me, his expression dripping with distain. "I know you're not all that smart, Mace, but Lord help us, you really don't know anything, do you." I looked to Greg. His expression was blank.

  Garrett waved the notepad in my face. "This is shorthand. She's writing in shorthand. It's a lost art that was ubiquitous in the early twentieth century but has since become a dying skill. Tell me, where did you learn this?" my brother asked Josie.

  Josie shrugged. "From YouTube. Seemed like a useful skill to know, and it wasn't that hard to learn."

  I peered over Garrett's shoulder at the notepad. "Huh. Well, how about that?"

  "I told you she came highly recommended," Greg remarked.

  15

  Josie

  Tara came into the office as I was cleaning up. The Svensson brothers had gone off to a meeting, and I was looking forward to napping at my desk.

  "Do you need something for your super-duper secret marketing meeting?" I asked Tara.

  "I
wanted to see if Mace was around," she replied.

  "He keeps a very tight schedule," I told her. "You should probably make an appointment if it's urgent." I took out my phone and scrolled through the calendar. "He has some availability next week."

  "Stop acting like you're not trying to steal him," Tara spat.

  I laughed. "As if."

  "I see how you're flirting with him," Tara demanded. "Pretending to be a klutz so he thinks you're some wounded little bird that needs his protection."

  "Uh, no, I don't do stuff like that," I countered, suddenly angry. I couldn't believe she was accusing me of going after Mace. I wasn't my mother. My standards were low, but they weren't that low.

  "Stay away from him," Tara said.

  "Sure, whatever. I don't even like him. He's a self-absorbed nutcase, and you two deserve each other," I shot back.

  Tara glared at me. "I think you're supposed to be rearranging a storage closet. Oh, and I need coffee and tea in my meeting. Chop-chop!" Her nose twitched.

  "I'll be down with coffee in a little bit," I said, giving her my most insincere smile.

  The breakroom still smelled like smoke, and there was caution tape wrapped around it like a yellow spider's web. So I went to the breakroom on the next floor down and grabbed cups, a pot of coffee, and a kettle of hot water and put it all on a tray.

  Willow was huddled in a chair in a corner when I went into the conference room.

  "I can't take this anymore," she whispered to me as I set out the refreshments. "I hope there's cyanide in that pot of coffee. This is the most disorganized marketing contract ever."

  "No cyanide," I said, "but—" I slipped her a breakfast croissant.

  Willow took a big bite and said around the food, "Tara made us watch that quarterly presentation."

  "It was good, wasn't it?" I said. "I spiced it up."

  "It was too spicy for Tara. She bitched and complained through the whole thing," Willow told me in a low voice.

  "Lordy. Are they paying on time at least?" I asked.

  Willow nodded.

  "That's the important thing," I told her.

  When I walked back to Mace's office, I stopped in front of the storage closet that served the C-suite office.

  "Yikes," I said after I opened it. I fully admitted I was a disorganized person, but even I thought this closet was a wreck. I hadn't fully appreciated how bad it was yesterday. "We are about to Marie Kondo this shit up," I said.

  I took everything out of the closet and piled it in Mace's office, covering the floor, his desk, and the sofa.

  I was lugging a projector screen out of the closet when the strap broke, sending it crashing into the glass wall of Mace's office. Little squares of glass rained down all over me and the floor.

  "Are you trying to destroy this office?" Garrett asked. "You're going to single-handedly raise our insurance premiums."

  "Sorry," I said to Mace's brother.

  "What are you even doing?" he asked.

  "Reorganizing the closet."

  "That's not part of your job description," he retorted.

  "Mace told me to. He wanted me to reorganize the closet and make an inventory of all the snacks and create a survey for the office of people's favorite food items," I rattled off.

  Garrett looked taken aback. He shook his head. "No."

  "No?"

  "No. That is beneath you."

  "He's my boss…"

  Garrett snorted. "Mace likes to think he runs this company, but finances are the backbone of any empire. Your talents are wasted on tidying. You're good at all that communications business, correct?"

  I nodded.

  "I'm emailing you some links," Garrett said. "I need a presentation done. I'd like for you to work your magic."

  "What about all this stuff?" I asked hesitantly.

  "My presentation is more important," Garrett replied.

  "But the window."

  "I'll have facilities come clean it up," Garrett assured me.

  I looked around uncertainly. Mace's office looked like Godzilla had rampaged through. "Mace isn't going to like this," I said.

  "Mace is the one who wanted you to organize the storage closet." Garrett smirked. "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes."

  16

  Mace

  "You and your assistant are getting along really well," Liam said as we walked downstairs to one of the smaller conference rooms.

  "She's growing on me."

  "Pants getting a little tight?" Liam waggled his eyebrows. "She's cute. Maybe you need a little workplace romance."

  What was with my brothers today? I bodychecked Liam and slammed him into the wall.

  "Let's make one thing clear," I told him as he wheezed dramatically. "You don't get to be disrespectful to my employees, especially not my female employees. You were raised better than that. Understood?"

  "Yes," Liam gasped.

  I released my younger brother and patted him on the head. "The kids look up to you. Set a good example. Also we've seen what happens when you don't respect women. The nuclear fallout is long and painful."

  To highlight my point, Lieutenant Mayor Meghan Loring was waiting in the conference room. She did not look happy to see all the Svensson brothers.

  Hunter was standing in the doorway, the tension visible in his jaw and the line of his back.

  "I guess we aren't getting that factory anytime soon," Liam sighed.

  "No, you certainly are not," Meghan said in a sharp voice.

  "We're honored that you're here, Lieutenant Mayor," I addressed Meghan. "Can we have tea or coffee brought down?"

  "I don't want you to go to the trouble of burning down your facility for me."

  Liam snickered.

  "Thank you for making the trip. We just wanted to reach out to the city of Harrogate," Greg told her, "and make sure that we're all on the same page."

  Meg snorted. "Cut the flattery, boys. You want to build several huge factories and research facilities. It will change the skyline and tear up acres of meadow and forest." She leaned forward. "I'm not going to send old Mrs. Levenston from the planning department up here so you can flatter and sweet-talk her into signing off on whatever harebrained scheme you've come up with." She sat back. "Harrogate is my town, not yours."

  Hunter's jaw was so tense I thought he was going to crack a tooth. "You're doing this to mess with me," he growled. "This is just business, Meg, but you're making it personal."

  "No, I'm doing my job," she countered. "This isn't feudal England. The Svenssons are not going to treat Harrogate like their personal fiefdom. There are rules and regulations that you all need to follow."

  "This is beyond following regulations and procedure!" Hunter said, slamming his fist down on the table.

  Adrian jumped, but Meg didn't even flinch.

  "You block our developments at every turn. You implemented the cell phone law. You're doing this because you hate me. You said that you were going to make my life here a living hell." The pair glared at each other.

  "I'm not trying to ruin your life, Hunter," Meg said, "though it is a nice side effect of making sure Harrogate is a welcoming place for all citizens, not just a breeding ground for you Svenssons and your billions. But let's talk business. You want a factory? What are the concessions you all are willing to make?"

  Liam looked at me then said, "Since we are planning on tearing up some green space, we were hoping a transfer of development rights—"

  Something thunked against the glass wall of the conference room.

  Meg looked over. "What was that?"

  I stood up and looked down.

  Henry was plastered against the glass partition. "They're going to feed me to the bears!" he said, his breath fogging up the glass. Donna walked up to the door and knocked. Adrian opened it, and Donna picked up Henry by the arm. He had gone completely limp.

  "I'm an octopus. Glurb, glurb. That's the sound an octopus makes." Henry waved his legs.

  "Mr. Svensson," Donna
said, raising her voice over Henry's noise. "Unfortunately, Henry has been expelled from daycare."

  "I'm shocked," Meg said, her expression implying she was anything but. Gathering her things, Meg said, "It seems like you all have your hands full. We'll continue this meeting at a later date. I suggest an attitude adjustment."

  "Thank you for stopping by, Lieutenant Mayor," I said over the racket Henry was making.

  "We're all on the same side. Let's all work together to make Harrogate the most desirable city in the country." She flashed a toothy smile.

  "You know," Liam said after Meg left, "she says that, but her smile says she has us by the balls."

  "This is your fault," Greg spat at Hunter. "If you hadn't fucked up, we would have had a much easier time."

  "Get off my case," Hunter snarled at Greg, standing up so quickly his chair crashed to the floor.

  Donna looked between them. "I see where Henry gets it."

  I bent down in front of my youngest brother. "Henry. Henry, look at me."

  He stopped yelling and patted my shoulder. "I want a cookie."

  "You just got expelled from daycare. You don't get a cookie."

  Henry threw himself down on the floor and wailed.

  "What was he expelled for?" Liam asked as I picked up Henry. He was all limbs, and I winced as one of his hands hit me in the face.

  "Aside from the fact that he cannot follow directions, that he has to be the center of attention, and that he yells if you don't bring him whatever it is he thinks he has to have at exactly that moment?" Donna remarked.

  "Sounds like Archer," Greg said.

  "Is that another one of your younger brothers?" Donna asked.

  "He's in his early thirties," Greg said, "but yes, technically."

  Donna sniffed. "Obviously we could handle those issues on their own and teach Henry more socially acceptable behavior. But we had to expel him because he keeps trying to run away. Not only that, he tries to convince the other children to run with him. I don't suppose that has anything to do with your upbringing?" Donna asked delicately.

  "Probably," Greg replied.

  "This is an insurance issue," Donna said to me. "Henry is a liability to the other children. He needs one-on-one attention. We cannot accommodate him. You can push your weight around, and I'm sure the director will take him back, but when he maims another child and the newspapers and lawyers get involved, well, I won't say I told you so, but I'll be thinking it."