Wrangled by the Watchful Cowboy

by Tamie Dearen

  They were on their way home from the dance hall, The Two Step, where ostensibly, he’d been taking her to “practice” for the big dance. In reality, it was simply an excuse for him to hold her in his arms. She was cute as the dickens in her boots, tight jeans, and a form-fitting shirt. Tonight, her hair was pulled up in a ponytail, torturing him all night with a view of her enticing neck.

  “I’ve been thinking,” she said.

  “There’s your problem,” he teased. “Don’t you know women shouldn’t think?”

  He felt a soft slap on his arm, followed by a chuckle.

  “Seriously, Cord, I wondered if you’ve ever been in love or had a serious relationship.”

  Cord considered her question. He’d dated a few women, but none he’d ever thought might become a permanent fixture in his life. Consumed with his education and career, to the exclusion of most everything else, he’d felt he had plenty of time to marry and start a family in his thirties. He almost told Jess he’d truly never had a relationship that would qualify as serious, but then he realized his feelings for Jess were different. Unlike the others, Jess was the kind of woman he could imagine being married to. Not that he had any intention of telling her that. He certainly wasn’t ready to commit to such a thing when he couldn’t make sense of his own thoughts about the future. All he knew was he wanted to date her. Really date her. Not just a couple of friends hanging out together. And as usual, he was willing to work and wait to reach his goal.

  “My relationships have been fairly casual.”

  “Like ours?” she asked.

  “Not like ours. None of those girls told me they didn’t want to kiss me.”

  “I’m sorry.” Her hand came to rest on his arm, her voice sounding stressed as she apologized. “I know I’m asking a lot, and you’ve been really good about it.”

  “It’s starting to affect my ego. Makes me feel pretty rejected.” He pulled his lips down like a sad puppy as he reached to take her hand.

  “It has nothing to do with you, Cord. It’s all me.”

  Keeping a straight expression, he continued his teasing. “I’ve heard that before. That’s what women always say when they don’t want to hurt your feelings. It’s not you—it’s me.” He raised the pitch of his voice to imitate a woman’s.

  “But I’m not just saying that,” she protested. “It really is me.”

  To his shock, her voice trembled with emotion. She tried to withdraw her hand, but he held it tight.

  “I was only playing with you, Jess. My ego isn’t suffering a bit.”

  She shook her head like she didn’t believe him. “I should never have asked you to wait a year to date me.”

  “You didn’t ask. I volunteered. Remember?”

  She sniffed, turning her face toward the window. “The truth is, you should probably just move on. I can’t make promises right now. We should stop seeing each other, even as friends. It’s not healthy.”

  “Don’t say that, Jess.” Cord’s heartbeat skyrocketed. What was happening? Thirty minutes ago, she was melting in his arms on the dance floor. Now she was slipping away. “There’s no reason we can’t be friends,” he argued.

  “We’re just kidding ourselves,” she said. “We’re not really friends. We don’t share anything deep. We eat ice cream and go dancing, and you make me want to kiss you all the time.”

  “I do?” He couldn’t help giving himself an internal high five.

  “Yes, you do. It’s awful.”

  “Would it be so terrible if we kissed? I thought you liked me, at least a little bit.”

  “I like you a lot,” she whispered. “But we don’t really know each other.”

  “Sure we do.” He maneuvered down the long drive, making the left that led to her grandparents’ farmhouse and stopped the truck in front of the stone walkway, killing the engine. The moonlight flooded inside, illuminating her thoughtful frown.

  “Do you trust me, Cord?”

  “Of course, I do. What’s got you so worked up tonight?”

  “I want you to answer a question, and I want you to be honest. Tell me why you’re so determined to compete in the rodeo. Every time I mention it, you get mad and defensive, or you clam up.”

  His heart stopped beating for at least ten seconds. He wasn’t ready to tell her his deepest fears. He wasn’t ready to tell anyone he was afraid he would never measure up to the standard his dad had set.

  With unbelievable resolve, his father had refused pain medication at the end, not wanting to miss out on his last moments with his family. Only hours before he died, he’d clasped Cord’s hand, grimacing with pain. “You have to be strong, Cord. Be strong for your mom. Be strong for your sister. I’m counting on you.”

  Cord had made the promise, knowing it was one he could never keep. He would never be the man his dad was. Not once, the entire time his father was fighting a hopeless battle with cancer, did he complain. It wasn’t surprising. The man had always been a rock—solid and dependable. He hadn’t been very verbal about it, but Cord knew his dad loved him. Now he was left to fill his father’s shoes, and he wasn’t ready.

  I never will be.

  “I don’t see where you have any right to criticize me about the rodeo.” He returned to a prior argument. “You’re competing in the barrel racing, even though it’s been two years since your last event.”

  “One, it’s not as dangerous as bull riding. Two, Shadow and I have been practicing.” She ticked off her points on her fingers. “And three, I’m not criticizing, so quit trying to make this about me.”

  He had one hope of distracting her without bringing his dad into the discussion.

  “Is this punishment for tonight, when I got Gary to dedicate Rootin’ Tootin’ Heart-Shootin’ Woman to you?”

  A slideshow of emotions flitted across her face, but the one that finally settled in place was a mixture of humor and challenge. “I’m already plotting my revenge for that, even though I like that song.”

  “I think you look a lot like Taylor Addison,” he said, hoping to keep her distracted by comparing her to the country music star who’d recorded the popular song.

  Jessica’s skeptical expression spelled failure. “Now I know you’re full of it. I don’t look anything like her.”

  “You’re prettier,” he said, and he meant it.

  Her dimples peeked out, accenting those luscious lips that made it hard for him to concentrate. “Thanks. But you still haven’t answered my question.”

  “I’d rather talk about what you said earlier.”

  “What’s that?”

  “That thing you said about wanting to kiss me?”

  His joke fell flat. Her chest expanded and contracted with a huge breath and sadness settled in her eyes. “I need to go.” She opened the truck door.

  “Wait!” He reached to grab her elbow, but stopped himself. Something told him he shouldn’t restrain her, so he begged, “Please don’t leave.”

  She hesitated, facing away from him, one leg already hanging out the door. Her shoulders seemed to shrink into herself, making her appear small and vulnerable.

  “What’s this all about, Jess? We were doing fine. I haven’t pushed you at all. Why are you freaking out all of a sudden?”

  “I can’t keep doing this, Cord. I’m starting to fall for you.”

  “Is that so terrible?” He swallowed hard. “I’m starting to fall for you, too.”

  “It’s not okay.” Her voice sounded tired. Resigned. “Because I’m broken.”

  “We’re all a little broken, Jess. Life isn’t easy. But you’re one of the most together women I know.”

  “It’s an act.”

  How could he argue with that? He knew all about putting on a brave front. “Then tell me what’s wrong. Let me help you.” He touched her shoulder, and she jumped like she’d been burned.

  “I can’t do that. Not again.” She seemed to grow smaller by the second. “I’m broken because of Parker.”

  Slow rage built in
his veins. Withdrawing his hand, he clenched his fists. He wanted to tear the man to pieces. He failed to keep an angry tremble from creeping into his voice. “What did he do to you?”

  “It wasn’t… it wasn’t a big deal,” she said. “Nothing like you’re thinking. He didn’t hurt me or anything.”

  Cord didn’t believe her. “Then how did he damage you?”

  She twisted to face him, her silver gaze catching his and holding it like a pinned butterfly. “How can I open up to you, if you’re not willing to do the same?”

  He wanted to be angry, but he saw the sincere look in her eyes. For what seemed like hours, he struggled with his warring emotions before answering, “I can’t do it.”

  Hope vanished from her eyes like smoke in the wind. “Neither can I.”

  She slid out of the truck, but he jumped out, as well, falling in step beside her as she walked up to the house. Silence loomed between them until she reached the front porch.

  “Jessica?”

  She froze with her hand on the doorknob. “Yes?”

  “I want to tell you. But I’m not ready.”

  Her head nodded. “You know where to find me.”

  The door opened and swallowed her up, closing with a heavy thunk, like the lid on a casket.

  11

  “Good morning, Sharon.” Cord kept his eyes on the road as he answered his phone.

  “I wondered if you were coming to breakfast this morning,” Sharon said. “We’ve hardly had time to talk to you all week, what with all the extra rodeo guests.”

  “I do have news for you and Bucky, but it can wait until after the rodeo. Last night, I figured out what put the ranch in the red. Don’t get your hopes up, but it could be a fairly easy fix. I just need to make a few phone calls on Monday.”

  All week Cord had buried himself in Bucky’s unorganized boxes of records, which seemed to contain every single bit of correspondence that had come in the mail for the past ten years, in no particular order. In contrast, the rodeo preparations had gone off without a hitch. The advertising banners were already hanging around the arena, promoting everything from The Two Step Dance Hall to the feed store. There was even a huge sign displaying a cowboy proposing to an ecstatic girl with a wide smile and eyes to match. Evidently, the local jewelry store felt a rodeo was a romantic event.

  Advertising income alone had more than covered the rodeo expenses, including the paid professionals, such as two bullfighters and a couple of off-duty police officers to keep the peace. The ranch was set to make a profit from the guests who booked rooms, not to mention their take of the tickets, plus food and drink sales, and the dance. Bucky would be able to make a hefty payment on the loan balance.

  Staying up late to keep up with his Phantom Enterprise work, Cord had hardly gotten any sleep. Not that he’d have slept much anyway, replaying his last conversation with Jess.

  “We’ve missed you at breakfast all week,” said Sharon, disapproval in her tone.

  “Didn’t Jessica tell you why I haven’t been coming?”

  “As a matter of fact, she told me you two aren’t seeing each other, but she didn’t say what happened.” Sharon left her statement hanging, an open invitation for him to spill the beans.

  “I don’t know if it’s my place to tell you about it.” Between the tax records and preparations for the rodeo event, he’d mostly avoided thinking about Jess, and he was surprised at the sharp pain in his chest. “How is she?” The question slipped out before he could stop it, like a wet spaghetti noodle sliding off a spoon.

  “I don’t know if it’s my place to tell you about it,” Sharon parroted back.

  “Ouch. I guess I deserved that.”

  “I know you young folks think I should mind my own business, but sometimes I can’t keep my mouth shut. Like this morning, for instance. Jessica got a phone call, and I thought you might want to know about it.”

  A ripple of apprehension had the hairs on the back of his neck standing at attention. “Who called her?”

  “Parker. He’ll be at the rodeo tonight.”

  “Why is he coming?” Blood rushed to his muscles, trembling with rage at a man he’d never met. He didn’t even know what Parker had done to hurt Jess, but he knew he didn’t want that weasel to talk to her.

  “Parker has a way of getting what he wants,” Sharon said. “And he’s evidently decided he wants Jessica back.”

  He’s not getting her.

  How was Cord going to stop him? Doubtless, Jess wouldn’t appreciate his interference. She’d made it clear she wanted a two-way street if they were going to talk about anything personal. And now wasn’t the time to have that conversation with her.

  “In case you’re interested…” Sharon dangled her words like bait, “you might also like to know Jessica’s taking Shadow for a ride at nine o’clock.”

  “If I had the time, I’d take Blaze and meet her on the trail.” How could he squeeze one more thing into his day? “But with the rodeo opening tonight…”

  “I understand completely, Cord. I’m sure you’ll take care of what’s most important.” Sharon’s inflection made her opinion of what qualified as most important perfectly clear.

  Shadow pricked his ears at her as she saddled him up for a morning ride, probably sensing her edginess. In part, she was nervous about the race that night. But Parker’s call that morning had her rattled, to say the least. At least the trail rides were canceled for the day as the staff prepared for the two-day rodeo and the big dance on Saturday night.

  “Hey, Shadow. Do you happen to be free Saturday night? I could sure use a date for the dance.”

  Parker announced that the engagement was officially back on, despite her protests to the contrary. If she was as strong as she hoped, she would tell him off and send him away with his tail between his legs. But Parker could be really sweet when he wanted to be. He’d spent a solid thirty minutes begging for forgiveness. He twisted her emotions, playing on her empathetic tendencies. Somehow, as he confessed how awful he’d been and proclaimed how he didn’t deserve her, she found herself comforting him and telling him he was a good man.

  “What’s wrong with me, Shadow? Why did I tell Parker I forgave him?” she asked, as she led him out of the stable.

  Jess knew a ride would be therapeutic. She could collect her thoughts and rehearse a conversation with Parker, one she hoped would be final. But what if Parker had really changed? He claimed losing her had made him reevaluate his entire life, even his opinion of church and God. She hadn’t had the presence of mind to ask him what had happened to his newest girlfriend.

  “It’s so weird. I’ve been really angry with him, ever since I talked to Laurel. But now I think I was being too hard on him. Parker actually told me he’d had it out with his mother. To me, that qualifies as opening up. It’s possible he’s truly changed. What do you think?”

  Though Shadow never replied with words, he always seemed to make Jess feel calmer. And once they had moved up the hill and down into the open field, she let him run for a bit, enjoying the wind in her face. Nothing else mattered when she was riding. They got in a rhythm, moving together, as she balanced in the saddle. The strength of his powerful muscles seemed to flow into her body and make her feel alive.

  At the far end of the field, she slowed to a walk and moved to her favorite trail that led to the river and wound along the shore. Her eyes were on a small waterfall when Shadow came to a sudden halt.

  “Hi.” Cord’s left hand tipped his hat, his muscles flexing against a sky-blue t-shirt that matched his eyes. He looked so good her mouth watered, but she remembered their last conversation… or the lack of it. With a rigid posture, thick with tension, he sat in the saddle on a beautiful golden-red quarter horse.

  “That must be Blaze.” Horses had to be a safe topic. Since he kept the mare at his family’s ranch home, Jess hadn’t had a chance to meet her. “She’s beautiful.”

  Cord leaned forward to stroke Blaze’s neck, and Jess found herself je
alous of the mare. It had only been a week, but she missed Cord’s touch.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked.

  “We’re out for a morning ride.”

  “Uh-huh. And you just happened to wander down this trail where Shadow and I always go.”

  His already deep voice dropped even lower. “It’s possible I came here on purpose, hoping to run into you.”

  The air sparked between them. Had she ever felt like this with Parker?

  “I haven’t gone anywhere, Cord. You could’ve found me any time you liked.”

  “I’m here now.”

  “You want to talk?”

  “Yes, I do.” A deep furrow appeared between his brows. “I heard your ex is coming to the rodeo.”

  She seethed as she realized the source of his knowledge. “I’m going to kill my grandmother.”

  “She’s only trying to help because she loves you.”

  “Is that so? Because I really don’t see any difference between the way she tries to control me and the way Parker did it.”

  The second the words left her lips, she realized she’d said too much.

  “Is that what he did?” The muscles worked along Cord’s jaw as if he were chewing Parker to pieces. “He controlled you?”

  “Maybe he did, or maybe he didn’t.” She clamped her mouth shut, refusing to reveal more.

  “Parker has no right to make you do anything.”

  “Oh? Does the same go for you? Because it seems like that’s exactly what you’re doing. You’re trying to control whether I decide to be with Parker or not.”

  Cord jerked his hat off, and pushed his fingers through his hair, sending it in crazy directions, but somehow looking even more delectable. “You can’t go back to Parker.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I—” He choked on whatever he was going to say, his face turning as red as the clay on the river bank. “Because I care about you.”

  His sapphire eyes zoomed in on hers, piercing her soul like a laser. The entire outdoors suddenly felt too small, as if there was nowhere to hide. Heat enveloped her whole body.