Broken Beats

by D. Kelly

  She wraps her arms around me, and I breathe her in, wishing I could keep her this small forever. “I will, Daddy.”

  Cady runs to Haddie and gives her a huge hug. “Thank you for doing my hair. I’ll see you when I get home!”

  Mel covers her heart with her hand and whispers in my ear, “My heart might burst with joy. She loves her already.”

  “It’s amazing isn’t it?” I whisper, and she nods.

  “Come on, Auntie Mel, let’s go show Nate how Haddie did my hair!”

  Mel snickers and follows her out the door.

  “And so it begins,” Haddie says softly.

  “Indeed,” Sam concurs.

  “Both of you can kiss my ass.”

  Sam laughs. “Another decade, another place, and I might have taken you up on that.”

  Haddie giggles. “Should we put that on the list of wishes along with the—”

  I cover her mouth with my hand, and she licks it. “Be good and save the private things for the bedroom.”

  “Well, color me intrigued.” Sam eyes us with interest.

  “Sam, you haven’t met my girlfriend yet. Haddie, this is my good friend Sam.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Haddie says with a smile.

  “Likewise,” Sam replies.

  We walk toward the living room, and Haddie continues chatting. “I’m a little confused. How are you Cadence’s grandpa?”

  Sam chuckles. “It’s an honorary title. Those little munchkins have more than enough aunts and uncles. Warren and I thought they could use another set of grandpas instead.”

  We all get comfortable in the living room. I sit next to Haddie on the sofa, and Sam sits across from us in a chair. I brought some drinks in earlier along with some snacks in case Sam was hungry.

  “All right, you both know why I’m here. I’ve put together a list of questions for you guys. Some of them might be a bit inquisitive, but feel free to pass on anything you might be uncomfortable with. The goal is to give your fans a look into your world and, hopefully, decrease some of the paparazzi.”

  I squeeze Haddie’s thigh. “Are you ready for this?”

  She bites her lip. “As much as I can be.”

  Sam turns on the recorder. “Okay, let’s get started. Darren, it’s been over six years since the accident. Is this your first time dating?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you mind if I ask why now?”

  “I’m not sure it’s a thing where how much time has passed is a factor. It’s more of a moment-in-time scenario. When I met Belle, I knew she and I were meant to be. I can’t explain it, but we both felt it.” I look at Haddie, and she nods her encouragement.

  “It was the same with Haddie. Only this time, we bonded over our mutual grief of losing a significant other.”

  Sam takes a deep breath. “You lost someone as well?”

  “Yes,” Haddie answers softly before regaining her confidence. “My fiancé and I were in a bad accident. He passed away and I almost didn’t make it. It had been a few years, but I was trying to figure out a way to say goodbye to him the night Darren and I met.”

  Sam leans forward and eyes us seriously. “Are you in love?”

  “Yes,” we answer in unison.

  “Darren, you’re a single dad. How is your daughter dealing with this?”

  “Haddie is a child psychologist. We worked together for weeks to prepare Cadence for the meeting and how to handle it whether it went well or not. My daughter is the most important person in my life, and it’s my responsibility to be sure she continues to feel loved and valued.”

  Haddie rubs my shoulder. “Cadence has been very accepting of me. We’re building a relationship day by day. At some point, we may have issues. I think that’s to be expected in any situation where a father brings a new woman into the home. Cadence’s happiness will always be my number-one priority as well.”

  Sam flashes us a beaming smile. “Are there wedding bells in your future?”

  Haddie shakes her head and points at me to answer. “When we’re both ready. We know time waits for no one, and the people we love can be gone in a flash. But we also know the fear of losing someone is not an excuse to skip the important steps.”

  Sam taps his pen. “What do you consider important steps, Haddie?”

  “Giving Cadence time to get to know me and understand she’s important to me too.”

  I bring her hand to my mouth and kiss it. “God, I love you.”

  She blushes, and I turn to Sam as he continues to observe us. “Enjoying the firsts. Like today, my daughter asked Haddie to do her hair. Most people think that’s simple, but this is the first time Cadence has indicated she’s accepting Haddie in a mother-type role. You see, these aren’t just firsts as a couple, these are firsts as a family. The first time Cadence hugs Haddie or includes her in her prayers are milestones that are just as important as our anniversary or other firsts couples have.”

  Unshed tears swim in Sam’s eyes.

  “There have been some unkind headlines since the news of your relationship has broken. Do you have anything you want to say about that?”

  Haddie shakes her head, but I’m not about to be quiet. “When I became famous, I loved it. The support of the fans, playing music I loved, touring with my brothers—it was all a dream come true. A month or so into the fame, we started dealing with the media. For some reason, most media outlets like to focus on the negative—stories about our failures, potential paternity suits, possible drug and alcohol abuse allegations—you get my drift. It’s like they forgot we’re people with families, lives, jobs, and feelings, just like anyone else.”

  “Darren—” Haddie interrupts.

  I meet her eyes. “I need to get this out.”

  “Okay,” she answers softly.

  “I don’t care if people question my love for a plus-size woman just like I didn’t care when I was criticized for an interracial relationship with Belle. All the media does with these articles is breed hate and make the people second-guess their own physical attributes. It doesn’t take a lot to make someone feel bad about themselves. When you question a few extra pounds on someone, how do you think a reader who is larger than the person you’re shaming feels?”

  “So you think the media is bullying people?”

  I lean forward. “I think the media has a responsibility to highlight positivity. If they don’t, maybe their sponsors ought to rethink who they give their money to. Writing an article about an assumption doesn’t do anything. Your readers can look at photos and make their own observations. The articles aren’t going to affect us. All they do is affect your readers and determine what kind of following you’re going to get. We know who we are, and we’re confident in our relationship.”

  “It seems like you care a lot about the self-esteem of others. What do you do to combat self-esteem issues with your daughter?”

  “Daily affirmations. It’s our favorite part of the morning. I know I’m laying the groundwork for the rest of her life. No one will ever have an easy time making my daughter feel less than anything.”

  Sam looks to Haddie. “What about you, Haddie? Do you have any thoughts on the articles?”

  “Well, they’re not great. Darren has helped me understand they will find some way to ostracize me regardless of my size. They’ll dig up a secret in my past or an unflattering photo—if they can make it look bad, they will. I’m a good person, I help children for a living, and I’m in love with a man who is quickly becoming my best friend. I’ve stopped looking at the articles; they no longer have power over me.”

  “That’s wonderful.” Sam sits back in his chair and steeples his fingers. “What is the purpose of this interview? If you’ve gotten past the articles, why did you want to talk?”

  I lean forward. “It’s a media frenzy out there. Haddie isn’t famous, she’s a normal person just like most of your readers. We’re hoping by coming forward and answering questions, the press will back off and give us enough breathing room
to drive into our driveways for a change. We’re not an exciting story; we’re just two people who happened to find happiness with each other.”

  “Thank you both for sitting with me today. The two of you seem to have found something very special. It’s obvious how much you love one another. I expect an invitation to that wedding once you’ve had enough firsts to merit one.”

  Sam turns off the recorder and puts it away. “I meant what I said. The two of you better put me in the front row. You know how much I love weddings, Darren.”

  “You’ll be one of the first on the list. Thanks for doing this, Sam.”

  “Are you kidding? It was the highlight of my week. I’m a sucker for a good love story and for putting assholes in their place. That line about the sponsors pulling their funding? Epic. People will be talking about that for weeks. I’ll clean this up and get it ready for publication on Monday. Did you email me a photo?”

  “We did, it should be in your inbox.”

  “Perfect! Let me go find Warren and then we’ll all grab some dinner. I’ve already reserved a private room with a backdoor entry. We’ll be golden.”

  I snicker. “You’re a gay man who said backdoor entry. Sorry, I’m still twelve at heart and that shit was funny.”

  Sam shrugs and grins. “I’ll let it slide because I love you.”

  Haddie giggles as Sam heads off to find Warren.

  “Are you okay?” I lower my lips to hers, and she kisses me back before answering.

  “I’m better than I thought I would be. Thank you for what you said.”

  “I meant every word. You’re the one sticking around through all the bullshit. I should be thanking you.”

  She slides her hands up the back of my shirt, and I step closer to her. “You’re worth it. But if you want to fuck me while you talk dirty to me later, I wouldn’t be opposed.”

  “Deal.”

  At a little after three in the morning, my phone rings and someone is pounding on my front door.

  “What’s going on?” Haddie mumbles groggily.

  “I’m not sure.” I look at my phone and answer it. “Is everything okay?”

  “Go answer your door. Hurry, it’s Eli and Jordan,” Mel whispers over the line.

  “What’s wrong?”

  I grab a pair of shorts from the floor and pull them on.

  “Dammit, Darren, I don’t think I can fix this. Answer the door, please.”

  She ends the call, and Haddie sits up. I bend over and kiss her quickly. “Jordan and Eli are here. Maybe you should put on some clothes and come out.”

  “Okay, is everything all right?”

  I sigh. “I’m not sure.”

  When I open the door, Eli falls into my arms and smells like he drowned in a vat of gin. My stomach roils at the nauseatingly familiar scent. “What in the world is going on, J?”

  Jordan closes the door behind him. “It’s not good, D. Remember when I said you should have talked to Sawyer about Rory?”

  Eli looks up at me. “I’m sorry, Darren, I fucked up. I was so pissed at Rory, and I told Sawyer what happened with the two of you.”

  My heart stops and the world stills. Jordan and Haddie call out my name, but I’m stuck in a time warp. “What happened?” I finally manage to gasp.

  Jordan pulls Eli off of me. “He was drinking at the bar, they fought, and you know how it goes when you drink gin. For some reason, Eli thought calling Sawyer would screw over Rory. He didn’t think about what it was going to do to you. We called Mel. She was supposed to get Sawyer’s phone and try to delete the message …”

  Sawyer bursts through my front door and wraps his hands around my neck before throwing me to the ground. Haddie screams, and flashes start flashing. I hear the door slam shut, but all I see is the rage in Sawyer’s eyes.

  “Let go of him! You’re going to kill him! Sawyer!” Haddie cries.

  I refuse to fight back. I deserve whatever Sawyer wants to do to me.

  “Is it true?” he screams, releasing his hands long enough for me to choke out a response.

  “Yes.”

  “You motherfucker!”

  Before he wraps his hands around my neck again, Jordan tackles him. “Sawyer, enough!”

  I scoot back against the wall and try to catch my breath.

  Sawyer looks at me with tears streaming down his cheeks. “We had one rule, one promise our whole lives. No one fucks my sister!”

  “I fucked your sister,” Eli slurs.

  “You don’t count, you weren’t one of us.”

  “I fucked your wife too,” Eli adds, and Sawyer lurches toward him.

  “Eli, stop while you’re ahead,” Jordan chastises.

  “Haddie, can you put him in the guestroom?” I plead. “Go sleep it off Eli.”.

  I watch until they disappear from sight and then turn to Sawyer. “I’m sorry, man. I fucked up.”

  “Damn straight you fucked up. I can’t even fucking look at you right now.”

  Jordan looks between us and shakes his head. “Darren, tell him what happened.”

  “No, it doesn’t matter. I knew better.”

  “You knew?” Sawyer snaps at J.

  “Yeah, but I promised Rory I wouldn’t say anything.”

  “Un-fucking-believable! You covered for him? My own damn brother!”

  Jordan gets in Sawyer’s face. “Fuck you, Sawyer. I covered for our sister! Rory isn’t so fucking innocent in this whole damn situation.”

  I stand and pull him away from Sawyer. “Jordan, leave Rory out of this.”

  “Why are you protecting my sister, Darren? Do you still want to fuck her?”

  Mac and Mel walk right in and all I see behind them are flashes from the cameras. Fucking paparazzi and their telephoto lenses.

  “It was one time, Sawyer. It was a huge mistake and it will never happen again.”

  Sawyer steps closer. “Why? I know now, you might as well keep going.”

  “Because I’m not in love with your fucking sister, Sawyer! I’ve never been in love with her. Apparently, that was the whole fucking problem!”

  “Darren, it’s okay, calm down.” Haddie pulls my arm and locks her eyes on mine. “You’re both having a rough night. Why don’t we all go to our separate corners and talk over coffee in the morning?”

  Mel nods. “I think that’s a great idea.” She reaches for Sawyer, but he pulls away.

  “Fuck that. I don’t need to have coffee with him to discuss anything. I know all I need to know. Our friendship is over. Sell your house and the studio. There’s no coming back from this.”

  Sawyer storms out, and Jordan follows.

  “He doesn’t mean that, Darren. He’s just angry,” Mel says as she hugs me.

  “Nah, he does, but I deserve it. It never should have happened. I’m so fucking sorry, but I can’t take it back.”

  Tears slip down my cheeks, and Mel wipes away her own.

  “Sawyer doesn’t get to be angry for long. Not over this, not after what we did. I will be over for coffee in the morning because I’d like the whole story from Eli and you.”

  Mel leaves through the back door, and Mac levels me with his “I’m on duty, don’t fuck with me” gaze. “Best case scenario, the paparazzi only heard Sawyer yelling. Worst case, they heard it, they recorded it, and it’s already live on the net. Do you know where Rory is? She’s going to need coverage.”

  “Last I heard she was in Texas or Tennessee, wherever the fuck Eli just came back from. You probably want to call her. I can’t do it for you, sorry.”

  “It’s okay. Ryan is with Mel and Sawyer. I’m going to stay here. You two go to bed and I’ll lock up and deal with the Rory situation. We’ll do damage control in the morning.”

  Haddie laces her arm through mine and leads me back to the bedroom. “Good night, Mac,” she calls over her shoulder.

  “Night, guys.”

  We lie down and she wraps her arms around me. “It’s going to be okay, Darren. It will all work out.” />
  “Fuck, Haddie, you don’t get it.” Tears stream down my cheeks. I’m pissed and I’m scared.

  “What, baby? Tell me what’s bothering you.”

  I pull her flush to my skin. “I don’t want to lose you.”

  “Hey,” she locks her eyes on mine, “that’s not going to happen.”

  “The press is going to run with the story. I fucked Rory Weston. If they heard everything, they’ll report it as breaking news, like I cheated on you. Your friends and family—”

  “Will listen to me when I tell them it’s not true. We had a deal, Darren. We’re going to weather these ridiculous media storms together. We know the truth, and I’m sure Rory will back it up. She runs Noah’s foundation so she’ll have to put out a press release if it gets that far.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “Shhh. I’m more concerned about Sawyer and you. How serious do you think he was?”

  I blink hard to try to stop the tears. “I’ve never heard Sawyer say anything he didn’t mean. He’s not that kind of person.”

  “We all had too much alcohol tonight at dinner. I think you’re both emotional from it. Let’s sleep and deal with it all tomorrow.” She kisses the top of my head. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.” I hope to God it’s enough to keep her around.

  18

  Haddie

  “I’m going to get dressed and make some coffee. Come join us when you’re feeling up to it, okay?” I lean down and kiss Darren’s cheek.

  “Thank you. I’m so exhausted, but I’ll be there soon.”

  Neither of us got much sleep. Darren tossed and turned through the night. A shower helps, and once I’m dressed, I head into the kitchen.

  “Morning,” Mac says, looking up from his laptop.

  “Good morning,” I reply as I make a cup of coffee before sitting across from him at the table. “How bad is it?”

  “Do you want me to sugarcoat it?”

  I take a sip and shake my head. “Not on your life.”

  He flips his computer around and pushes it toward me. “Each open tab is a different disaster. Browse at your own risk. Sam wants you to call him. He needs to ask you a few follow-up questions he thinks may help Darren.”