Play the Game: A New Adult Hockey Romance (Golden Boys Hockey Book 1)

by Emma Tharp

  She doesn’t want me. She spelled it out last night. Her rejection cut me, and I’ve been torn up about it ever since. Her words and actions don’t match up. She was into me and our kiss. There’s no way she could deny that she felt something. If Lexi hadn't walked down the hall, I wonder what would've happened. I'll never know now.

  She seemed sad but resolute last night when she rejected me. Now, I’m a complete mess.

  The time ticks by and when my penalty is finally up, I skate to the bench and have a seat.

  “No more stupid stunts like that, Hunt, or I’ll bench you for the season!” Coach yells from behind me.

  I turn my attention to him and say, “Yes, sir.”

  I learned my lesson. I knew getting my head messed up over a woman was a stupid idea. It could cost me everything I’ve ever wanted and worked so hard for. The few minutes of release from the fight did nothing to erase my foul mood either.

  My goal now is to keep my head down and focus on the game. No more mind fucks about women.

  My skates hit the ice for the first time since the fight at the end of the last period. Coach is really trying to prove a point.

  Jett passes me the puck and I take my position behind the net and pass it back to him. I skate around the net in position when Jett sends me the perfect pass. It's the drill we practiced over and over again, but when I wind up to shoot, I miss the goal.

  I slam my stick on the ice. How could I miss that shot and now Clarkson’s team has possession of the puck?

  Fuck!

  My shift is over and as soon as I am off the ice, I slump down onto the bench and slam my stick, whacking it on the ground so hard it snaps in two. Damn it.

  "Hunt," Coach yells from over my shoulder. "Get your damn head in the game."

  I turn to look at him and give him a sharp nod. That's what I've been trying to do, but with only two minutes left, it doesn't appear like that's going to happen.

  I can't seem to get out of my own damn head.

  Coach isn't going to let me out for another shift for the rest of this game. Can't blame him; I've played like shit.

  No thanks to me, we win the game by one goal.

  With head hanging low, I make my way to the locker room, take off my gear, and hit the showers. After, I towel off and start getting dressed.

  Half the team walks by Justin who’s sitting next to me, still in his gear, swatting him and congratulating him on his shut out.

  "Great game, man,” I tell him after the rest of the team clears out.

  "Thanks. I wasn’t sure how it was going to end."

  "You are a brave son of a bitch. I could never be a goalie."

  Justin chuckles. "I love it."

  "Somebody has to do it. And hey, sorry I played like shit today. Couldn't quite get my head out of the gutter."

  He tugs off his jersey and chest protector and gives me a sympathetic smirk. "Is it your girl again?"

  "You guessed it. I thought maybe something might be starting between us, but last night she pumped the brakes."

  "Damn, that sucks."

  I pull my T-shirt on over my head and lean against the locker. "It's my own fault for letting her get to me."

  "I doubt you had a prayer. I told you once a girl gets under your skin, you have to work like hell to get them out."

  I do remember him telling me that, and about his ex-girlfriend. I can only imagine how much harder this would be if I had been dating Stella for any length of time.

  "Any suggestions on how to get her out of my head? Because avoiding her is out of the question. We are lab partners."

  He scrunches up his face. "I wish I had advice for you, but time is really the only thing that helps and sometimes I still think about my ex."

  “How did you know your ex was worth it?”

  “What do you mean?”

  I shrug, not wanting to come off like an asshole. “Worth putting yourself out there for? You know, fighting for.”

  He runs his fingers through his sweaty hair and gives me a grin like he’s getting ready to convey ancient secret knowledge. “You just know. There aren’t words to describe what it feels like. When you’re around each other, there’s no one else. She’s all you can think about. Being without her isn’t an option.”

  I swallow hard against the truth bubbling up the back of my throat. Everything Justin said is how I feel about Stella. I want to be with her.

  "I wish she would just give us a chance. Deep down, I know it could be good between us." I can't believe the words as they fall past my lips, but they’re true and I need help.

  Justin opens his water bottle with his teeth and has several swallows. "Have you thought about laying it all out on the line for her?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "You have to go for it."

  I scratch my head. "How?"

  "Show her you’re serious."

  "Okay." I puff air into my cheeks. "You think I should go over there?"

  Justin unlaces his skate before he reclines back and gives me a thumbs up. "That a boy. What do you have to lose?"

  My heart rate kicks up, and I know this is what I have to do. "All right. I'm going to do it now."

  Justin pulls off his skate. “Good luck.”

  “Thanks for the advice.”

  I finish getting dressed and leave the locker room to go to my car.

  As I drive to Stella's house, my pulse pounds so heavily in my neck, I wonder if I'll actually make it there alive. I'm in a daze the entire drive. I’m not sure how this is going to go. Crazy scenarios float around in my head. She might slap me, or yell at me and tell me to leave. Or maybe we’ll kiss again. My blood pumps harder at the thought of my mouth on hers.

  I shouldn’t get my hopes up. This could be a colossal disaster.

  When I pull up out front of the sorority house, I'm relieved Stella's car is in the driveway. She's here. Whether she will see me or not is another question. Justin is right, either way—I have to try. I know I'll regret it if I don't attempt to talk to her.

  In the short time that I've known her, I've enjoyed her company, that smile and those bottomless green eyes. This goes way beyond the physical attraction, although that's on another level too.

  My legs are like lead as I walk up to the front door of the sorority house. With sweaty palms, I raise my hand to knock.

  This could be the best decision I've ever made or the biggest mistake of my life.

  Thirteen

  Stella

  A dollop of coffee-flavored Häagen-Dazs slides off my spoon and lands squarely on the right boob of my white pajama top.

  I look over each shoulder, even though I know no one else is here, before tugging my shirt up and licking the ice cream off it. I'm not proud, but tonight I'm eating my feelings. I've been shoveling ice cream and cookies in my face all night while binge-watching romantic comedies on Netflix in the living room of the sorority house.

  Darkness falls outside and presses in around me. Nobody is at the sorority house. Some of my sisters went out to dinner and others went for drinks. I was invited to come along, but declined. I don't think I've ever felt this alone.

  I haven't changed out of my pajamas all day long. Why should I? I don't have class today or any social plans. Quite frankly, I don't have the energy to care.

  Every minute that has passed since I shut Gavin out, I've wondered if I made the right decision. I hate the cold, hollowed-out look in his eyes when he surveys me now. And knowing that he'll never show me any other side of himself but the cool, detached boy he was when we first met makes a pit in my stomach that just won’t go away.

  As much as I keep trying to push down whatever was happening between Gavin and me to try and make it go away, it doesn't seem to work.

  My mind races with the what-ifs.

  My life would be so much easier if I could just love my ex, Hunter. He’s the kind of guy I'm expected to be with. Well-bred, tiptop manners, and my father's favorite. But I simply can't love him that way. He n
ever made his way into my heart.

  Just when it gets to the sappy part in Love Actually, there's a knock on the front door. I get up off the couch and answer it.

  My heart lodges in my throat. "It's you."

  "Hey, it's me. Can I come in?" Gavin stands with his hand propped up on the doorframe in joggers and a hockey hoodie. He’s so handsome as he stares at me with his navy eyes. Which land on my shirt.

  I run my hand over the ice cream stain on my boob, as if that’ll make it go away. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

  He sighs before taking a step closer to me. "Please. We need to talk. We have to spend time together for our lab project. Things are only going to be more strained and awkward if you don't get it out in the open."

  He has a point and, judging by the look in his eyes, he has something he wants to say. I step aside, inviting him in.

  "Can I get you anything?” I ask. “Water or beer?"

  "Water is fine, thanks."

  He follows me into the kitchen where I grab us each a water bottle from the refrigerator, then we go to my room. No one is at the sorority house now, but who knows when they'll come flocking in. Gavin takes the seat at my desk and I close the door behind us.

  "What did you need to talk to me about?" I ask and sit down on my bed, a nice, safe distance away from him.

  "Thanks for letting me in. I don't like how strained things have become between us."

  "I agree."

  Gavin starts peeling the label off his water bottle. "Maybe we can talk things through to help ease some of the tension."

  "Okay. I'm open to that."

  He lets out a long exhale before he speaks. "I'm not sure if you know this about me, but I'm here on a full scholarship for hockey and academics. I come from nothing. Hockey is the only thing I've ever really been good at. That's why I'm going to work my ass off while I'm here and hopefully make it into the pros."

  The vulnerability in his features melts me. This is the side of him I love to see. My heart splits open, inviting him in.

  "I didn't know that. But seeing you play hockey, it's clear you're very talented."

  He nods. "Thank you. That’s why maintaining focus is paramount for me."

  "For me, as well. I'm not sure if you realize that my father is the dean here at Boston College. He is constantly monitoring my grades, making sure there are no missteps. Last semester when I got a C- in biology lab, he flipped out. He expects nothing less than perfection. So, I get it when you say that you can't lose focus."

  "I had no idea."

  "Yeah, that's why I told you the other day in lab that nothing can come of us."

  My heart splinters while I say the words.

  Gavin runs his fingers through his hair, creating the perfect spiky mess that I would like to run my fingers through. "I don't know how things got so messed up between us, but I think it started with the kiss."

  I'm not so sure about that. I think it might've been the day I found out he hooked up with Lexi, but I don't tell him that.

  "Maybe."

  Gavin gets up and saunters across the room to sit on the bed next to me. His eyes lock with mine with such fierce intensity, it steals my breath.

  "Tell me you didn't feel anything when we kissed, because I think you did," he says.

  "Yes, but…"

  Oh, how I felt that kiss. It's all I've been able to think about.

  “I sure as hell did,” he says, “and I want to again."

  Me too, so badly, but I can't let myself go down that road. "Didn't you hear what I said?"

  He lets out a mirthless laugh. "Stella, I heard every word. But as much as I have tried to maintain focus and cut out distractions, all I can think about is you. During school, practice, even fucking games. As much as I have tried, I can't get you out of my head."

  Oh, the feeling is mutual.

  "Maybe you should try moving on. I don't think I'm the right type of girl for you."

  He sucks in a sharp breath, nostrils flaring. "Why is that? Because I don't have a trust fund?"

  "No. That's not what I mean. Lexi told me that the two of you hooked up. I saw you leaving the sorority house late that night. I'm not that type of girl. I don't sleep around or do one-night stands. I'm a relationship girl."

  There. It's all laid out on the line. I'm sure he'll go running for the door now.

  Gavin pauses for a beat, then pins me with his navy blues. "I've never had a serious relationship. Ever. I'm not sure I'd know what to do, but I'm not a man whore either."

  I narrow my eyes. "What about Lexi?"

  He rests his hand on my leg and leans into my personal space. "I didn't sleep with her. And do you know why I didn't?"

  "Why?" I croak.

  "Because she wasn't you."

  My mouth forms an O and my heart rate accelerates. His clean, stormy sent surrounds me and all I want to do is run into the heart of the storm.

  "But, Gavin…"

  "I've tried fighting this, but I can't anymore."

  I move in closer and run my fingers through the silky strands of his hair. "I'm tired of fighting this too."

  Before I can say another word, Gavin crushes his mouth against mine in an all-consuming kiss. His mouth is warm and the stroke of his tongue with mine is like waking up from being asleep. I feel more alive right now than I have in days. But with this awakening, I’m also aware that nothing has been resolved.

  I pull back and stare into his lost, bottomless navy eyes. “We can’t do this.”

  Fourteen

  Gavin

  “What is it?” I ask Stella, confused and panting.

  Seconds ago, we were lip locked, and she just pumped the brakes. Hard. Again.

  She rests her palms on my chest. She must feel the racing tempo of my heart.

  “We talked, but we didn’t resolve anything,” she says. “You told me that you don’t do relationships. And I do. We’re at an impasse.”

  I sit back, scrubbing my hand over my face. “I don’t understand, Stella. What do you want from me? Roses? Chocolates? What?”

  “No. That isn’t what I mean.” She rakes her teeth over her bottom lip. “I like kissing you. A lot.”

  “Me too.”

  Her cheeks turn a pretty shade of pink. “And if we keep kissing like this—on my bed—it’s going to lead to more.”

  Every inch of my hard body is hoping so. Desperately. “You don’t want that?”

  “I do, but it can’t be just that for me. I don’t want to be a random hook-up for you.”

  I still don’t know what she’s asking of me, and I feel foolish for not knowing. “I’m not going to be hooking up with anyone else, Stella.”

  She nods, a skeptical pinch between her brows. “Okay.”

  I cup her face in my hands and stare into her pale green eyes. “What do you need from me? You have to spell it out.”

  I’m not sure I can be the guy she needs me to be, but I damn well want to try.

  “You. That’s all I want.” She rests her hand over my heart. “Will you let me in here?”

  “I don’t know. But I can try.”

  This is all I have to offer. I’m hoping that’s enough.

  Being this close to her without taking it to the next level is driving me fucking crazy. Attraction crackles between us.

  My eyes drop to her mouth, and she licks her lips.

  I can’t wait another second.

  Fuck it.

  I pull her into my arms and our mouths attack each other. They’re greedy, almost desperate.

  She lets out a soft moan of pleasure that spurs me on.

  I want to devour her. I’ve never been this hungry for anyone before. Sure, I’ve had sex plenty of times, but it has never been anything more than wanting to get off. Just lust. Not like now.

  Her gaze is clear, eyes unending pools of desire. In what world does a woman like Stella want a guy like me? I have nothing to offer her. She is gorgeous, smart, kind, and rich. I’m just a jock from the wrong side
of the tracks, empty, with no idea how to be in a relationship, and yet she’s giving herself freely to me.

  I don’t deserve this. Or her. But I’m going to work my ass off to be worthy of her.

  Our hands are everywhere, gripping and tugging off clothes. She lifts her arms, and I yank her top off over her head. I unhook her bra and have to take moment to appreciate what’s in front of me. I’m the luckiest guy on earth. I stand up and pull my pants off, and she does the same.

  When she’s naked and bared to me, my heart stops beating in my chest. I can’t get over how silky smooth her skin is. She must use some expensive lotion to make her glow like this. Unless it’s just her. Which is entirely possible.

  I skim the skin of her nipples with my fingertips before I tease them to hard points.

  She drops gentle kisses on my chest, my abs, and already, I could explode.

  She has my body lit up, awake and turned on like never before.

  “I want to taste you.” My voice is low and husky as I ease her back onto the bed and nestle between her legs.

  I grab under her knees and give each one a kiss before positioning her legs over my shoulders. Staring up at her perfect body splayed out before me, I drink her in.

  She watches my every move as I kiss the delicate skin of her inner thighs, taking my time getting to spot she wants me.

  The second I press my mouth to her clit, she grips the sheets and her body writhes. I’m gentle at first, using slow deliberate licks with my tongue to tease her. But the moans she makes, and the sound of my name fluttering across her lips, have my dick rock hard and aching under me. I plunge two fingers inside her wet heat as I flick my tongue over her sensitive center.

  Easing my palm under her ass, I squeeze and tilt her up, changing the angle. My tongue is wild now, swirling and sucking her into my mouth.

  “Yes,” she screams.

  Her thighs tighten around me, and I know she’s close.

  With my fingers pumping and tongue devouring her, I keep going until she calls out my name, her entire body quaking as I coax her to sweet abandon. I don’t stop until every last tremor subsides.