by Aly Taylor
THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS
By this point, we were communicating regularly with Karen and her family, and we asked if she would allow us to come to one of her doctor visits to learn the gender of our other baby. She was so kind to allow us to do that. Karen had moved to Kentucky, so we packed up and made the drive north.
If you pictured the funny looks we got from people during our pedicure when she was pregnant with Genevieve, you should have seen us now! You can only imagine the questions and glances we received when we were at the ultrasound together, both obviously pregnant, explaining to the ultrasound technicians the nature of our relationship. My poor husband! He literally spent the day describing how and why he was the father of babies from two women! People were always amazed, but we had gotten used to it; it’s just what our family is. It may not be normal, but most miracles aren’t. That’s what makes them miracles!
We learned in that ultrasound that we were having another little girl. Three baby girls! Genevieve would be just seventeen months old when her sisters were born, and we knew our lives were going to be turned upside down in the best way possible.
After that appointment, we went back home to get things ready. I loved feeling my baby growing inside me; every little movement was a testament that she was strong and healthy. It was a struggle not having that same assurance with our other baby. We had no control over Karen’s prenatal care or what activities she was doing. We trusted her, of course, but it was hard being responsible for the health of only one of my baby daughters. All I could do is trust and pray—so I prayed like a mad woman!
—JOSH—
Three little girls. I was ecstatic! I can honestly say I never really hoped for a boy. I might have hoped for one before infertility or before we experienced the unbelievable blessing of a daughter, but I didn’t care at this point. I was mainly thankful for a houseful of babies, and the fact that we were adding two more little girls after I’d spent the past year loving Genevieve like crazy was icing on the cake. Sure, people joked about three weddings, three college students, and three times the drama, but I wasn’t worried. Those were all bridges we’d cross later. I was more concerned with raising three ladies of strong, godly character. I knew I could handle any errant hormone battles that were in our future. That’s a small price to pay for the honor of raising three powerful women of faith and launching them into the world to do amazing things for the kingdom of heaven.
—ALY—
Naming these little ladies was an awesome responsibility. I knew from years of Bible study that names are extremely important in Scripture. Sometimes a child is born and the passage itself tells you what the chosen name means. Other times God actually renames someone as a way of redirecting his or her entire life. So, as I considered each name, I spent hours praying over the name and its meaning. I poured through Scripture looking for strong women of faith, and I looked through countless books, searching for names that reflected the meaning we wanted to convey. I wanted the names we chose to be powerful and meaningful. I wanted their names to speak prophetically over their lives. We felt like we were blessed with inspiration when we named Genevieve Rose, and we wanted our other two girls to have that same blessing.
We chose the name Vera for the girl I was carrying. Vera means “faith,” and we believed wholeheartedly that this was our faith baby. She was the child we were told was impossible, but she was made possible by faith. We prayed that she would rest in her faith in Christ and always have faith in God’s great might and power as she faces the adversities in her life.
Then we chose the name Lydia for the baby we were adopting. I kept coming back to this name over and over as we prayed. It’s a beautiful name, and I loved its meaning: “woman of God.” When I think of all the things I want our girls to be, “woman of God” encompasses it all! With the names set, we prayed every day for our three beautiful daughters by name, asking God to lead, guide, and protect them all the days of their lives.
DELIVERY DILEMMA
As my pregnancy went on, I started getting nervous about how close the two due dates were. I became afraid that I’d miss Lydia’s birth. If Vera came a little late and Lydia came a little early, there’d be no way I could make the journey from Louisiana to Kentucky in time to be in the delivery room to see Lydia enter the world. That experience meant everything to me when Genevieve was born, and the thought of not having that same immediate, day-one connection with Lydia became a huge stressor for me.
One of the big issues was travel. The best-case scenario was that I’d have to travel out of state with a newborn almost immediately after giving birth. And then there was the question of where we’d stay in Kentucky. Fortunately, my awesome husband came to the rescue. Josh was discussing all these concerns with a friend and he replied, “Hey, Josh. Why don’t you guys take our motor home to Kentucky? You can stay in it while you’re there getting Lydia.” This was such a blessing to us, and it took some of the pressure off. At least now we knew where we’d stay. But there was still the issue of timing.
I had a wonderful relationship with my OB-GYN and was excited for her to deliver Vera. She had been with us through the whole infertility ordeal, so she knew how much of a miracle Vera was. We had spent time developing our birth plan—natural childbirth with no epidural—and she was supportive of every one of our decisions. However, it dawned on me that everything would have to go perfectly with both pregnancies and both babies would have to arrive very close to their due dates in order for us to be present for Lydia’s birth. Then it hit me: What if I had Vera in Kentucky? It would mean my doctor couldn’t deliver her, but that one decision would put every one of my other fears to rest. We would be closer to the birth mother, we’d be able to participate in her last few weeks of pregnancy, and we’d almost certainly be able to be there for Lydia’s birth.
It felt a little crazy to leave our home, doctor, and support system right before giving birth, but I really thought this was the answer. When I explained my idea to Josh, he agreed right away. That’s one of the things I love most about Josh: he never finds my ideas crazy or ridiculous. Because he’s a radical, outside-the-box thinker himself, he never tries to talk me down from an idea. Instead, he encourages it and sometimes even adds new ideas to it. They don’t all work out, but it’s a huge blessing to have such a great partner with me on this grand adventure.
—JOSH—
We went into deep research mode, trying to find the right doctor and hospital for Aly in Kentucky. Many doctors won’t take new pregnancies after the thirty-six-week mark, so we had to do some digging. We finally found a place that would take her. She’d be cared for by a midwife and deliver Vera at a wonderful hospital in Indiana just over the Kentucky state line. The plan was set. We would do the following:
• Drive my thirty-six-week pregnant wife, sixteen-month-old baby, and myself to a motor park in Kentucky, where we’d live huddled up in a borrowed motor home for a month.
• Change all Aly’s doctors and caregivers in the last few weeks of her pregnancy.
• Deliver our miracle baby in a hospital we’d never seen with a midwife we hadn’t met yet.
• Have one baby in time to be in the delivery room for the other.
• Finalize new adoption papers and processes.
• Come home a month later as a family of five.
Sounds simple enough, right?
Oh, and to keep things interesting, I should also mention that right before we headed to Kentucky, I lost my job. Aly had recently left her school counseling job to be home with our now growing family, and my job loss added much financial unknowns and stress. Talk about perfect timing. Thankfully, I had a side job that would help with some provision. Aly and I were devastated and more than a little concerned about what we’d do, but we knew God would provide; He always had. Besides, we knew the next month would be enough to handle without us worrying about getting back to punch a time clock.
—ALY—
Josh losing his job hit us hard.
It may be easy to read our story and assume the only stressors in our lives were cancer, infertility, adoption, and now figuring out this new birth plan. Sure, those were life-changers, but we still had all the same problems and concerns as everyone else. Finances, in particular, were a struggle, especially considering all the medical bills, then the fertility treatments, and then the adoption fees. The thought of going through the next month and then getting home with five mouths to feed and no dependable, predictable income was terrifying.
It would be easy for me to go off on a huge tangent right now about how incredible Josh is, what a wonderful provider he’s always been, and how God continued to care for us in the face of this job loss, but those things are a little beyond the scope of this book. I will, however, share an excerpt here from a blog post I wrote while processing the unknowns while we were in the motor home in Kentucky. It captures where we were faithwise in the middle of our lives taking such a dramatic turn.
July 20, 2016
So, here we are, trusting God has gone before us. We are taking this time in Kentucky to pray about Josh’s future employment and that he does exactly what God would have him do. Josh is a powerhouse and a workhorse. I am not a wife who worries if he finds something to do. I am not worried he will be lazy or that we won’t have an income. We have no doubt he will find something else to do.
We are more concerned about him taking a job that is God’s will and not just jumping on the first thing that comes his way. And that can be easy to do and pressure-filled when you are having two new babies coming into our family in the coming days/weeks.…
Even though, from a worldly perspective, it seems like the timing of all this couldn’t be worse, we have seen God do too many things in our life to not trust that His timing is perfect.
What circumstance are you currently allowing to dampen or dilute your faith? Were you at one point extremely passionate and faithful about something in your life, and because of circumstances you allowed that faith to be dug up and replaced with doubt? Please join us and do not let this happen! Let’s be a force together! From two people who are currently battling with this daily, join us! We know that God is holding us in His hands, and we can trust Him.
You can too.
I fully believe that we will be able to share very soon how God has led us to something that is amazing. Just pray that we follow God’s leading and continue to trust the God who has NEVER let us down.
When I wrote that, I knew God had bigger and better things in store for us. I just didn’t know how public that new plan would be. But I was about to find out.
CHAPTER 11
KENTUCKY BOUND
—ALY—
Smack-dab in the middle of the craziest summer of our lives—thirty-six weeks pregnant and about to head to Kentucky to give birth to one girl and adopt another—God surprised us once again. Up to this point, we had been pretty public about our story and had shared openly (and vulnerably) on the blog and in our speaking engagements. We had given hundreds of followers access to the highs and lows of our cancer battle, adoption experience, and now our pregnancy. We never did that for our own fame and attention; the goal from the start was to provide a platform for us to glorify God with our journey and to ask for specific prayers along the way. We expected Him to do miracles, and we wanted to encourage others with what He was doing in our lives. So from day one we tried to make Him the focus of every blog post and every speaking opportunity we had. Little did we realize what He had in store for us.
Right before we left for Kentucky, we were contacted by a production company who worked for TLC television network. They were planning the second season of their show Rattled, and they asked if we wanted to participate. Rattled is a reality show that follows several families through pregnancy and the first year or so of parenthood. If you have kids, you know why Rattled is such a great name for this show! Our involvement would mean we’d have film crews following us around, interviewing us, and getting a front-row seat into our real, unedited, and often messy lives. And, of course, they wanted to start immediately, meaning they’d be there for Vera’s birth and for Lydia’s adoption process in Kentucky.
I’m sure a lot of people would have been thrilled to get this phone call, but my first—and strongest—reaction was a definitive heck no. I thought, There is no way I want to have my kids on TV. It would have been so easy to cut off the conversation right there. But God wouldn’t leave me alone about it.
Josh and I talked through it, got some advice from godly mentors, and prayed over the decision. Once the shock and intimidation wore off a little, we started to see how God could use this opportunity. We realized we would be able to share our miracle story with a national audience and, in turn, give many people hope. I worked hard to take the focus off myself and kids and put it back where we’d tried to keep it all along: on God. What could He do with this show? How many people would He encourage through our story? TLC said they at least wanted to document us living in Kentucky, Vera’s birth, and Lydia’s adoption. They assured us Lydia’s birth family would have complete privacy, and they agreed to let us share the bigger picture of our family, faith and all. With those assurances in place, we agreed to live our lives on TV for a few months.
Knowing God had given us a bigger platform to share His goodness, we had three specific prayers for the show. First, we prayed that people going through cancer would be given hope. We wanted to show cancer patients that there is victory and new life on the other side of the fight. Second, we prayed that people facing infertility would be encouraged. To see us go from “infertile” to running around crazy with three babies would definitely be a cause for hope! Third, we wanted to shine a spotlight on the beauty of adoption so that any viewers who were on the fence about adopting would commit to giving a child a home. We knew that God answers prayer, so we were excited to see what He would do with this unexpected opportunity.
So that’s what July 2016 looked like for us. We had a sixteen-month-old running around, I was thirty-six weeks pregnant, we were going to adopt another newborn within days of me delivering, I had quit my job only months before Josh learned he lost his main employment, and we were all going to live crammed inside a motor home out of state and away from our support system during the most stressful, demanding month of our lives. Oh, and a film crew was going to be in our faces capturing most every laugh, tear, conversation, and argument we had throughout the whole ordeal. You’re probably thinking, They must be crazy. Well… you’re right. It was nuts, but it was our life!
RATTLED—FOR REAL
—JOSH—
We thought we’d have a little time to adjust in Kentucky before the film crew showed up. Wrong. When we drove into the motor home park after a long drive from Louisiana, we found a team of producers and cameramen waiting on us. They were on us from the second we stepped foot on Kentucky soil. Aly and I looked at each other, thinking, What on earth have we signed up for? It was a reality check for us. We were already feeling homesick and worried about what life would be like with cameras following us around 24-7. We had to stop and remind ourselves that God had put this whole crazy situation into motion. We were about to have three amazing, miraculous little girls, and He would get all the glory. It was pretty humbling.
We spent a couple of days getting settled in the RV park and doing our first round of interviews for Rattled, and then Aly had her first checkup with her new midwife. If there was ever any doubt about the care we’d receive in Kentucky, it vanished as soon as we met the midwife. She was awesome. She immediately put Aly at ease, and I could tell the two of them hit it off right from the start. She explained that she likes to do everything naturally, but Aly would deliver in a hospital so she could call in a medical team if something unexpected happened. As an added bonus, this hospital was full of believers. That meant we would be surrounded by people who loved Jesus and were praying for us. They knew how much of a miracle this baby was.
Meanwhile, as we were getting Aly settled with her new m
edical team, we were able to join Lydia’s birth mother for her doctor appointments too. Karen’s father came with her to many of these appointments, and it was great being able to get to know him better. Things were so different this time around because we already had a relationship with Karen; we had a year and a half of history together. The last time I’m sure Karen worried about how we’d raise Genevieve, but now she had seen how much we adored our daughter. In fact, she commented several times that it felt like Aly had given birth to Genevieve herself. All that made her fully trust us this time, and I know it took a lot of pressure off her. Plus, it made all of us a lot more comfortable together in these final weeks before the girls were born.
I can’t describe how beautiful it was watching Aly and Karen go through doctor appointments and ultrasounds together. They laughed together, cried together, and enjoyed telling each other stories. As untraditional as it was, this was our family, and it was a joy to spend those weeks with Karen and her family. At one point, however, she gave us a big scare. Aly was only a week from her own due date when Karen called us to tell us she was heading to the hospital with strong contractions. We rushed to the hospital, not sure what we’d find, but it turned out to be false labor. She was in a lot of pain, though. We helped calm her down, prayed for her, and let her know how much we loved her. The doctor sent her home, and Aly and I thanked God for putting us so close to her during those tense weeks.
—ALY—
My appointments were getting a little worrisome too. After every doctor visit, we thought Vera would arrive any minute. I was dilated and effaced, and the midwife kept telling us we were almost ready. My mom and Josh’s mom joined us in Kentucky as my due date neared; they didn’t want to risk missing anything! Everything was progressing perfectly as we counted down the days. Then the big day finally arrived—and nothing happened. Then Vera was one day late. Then two. Then three. Finally, three days after the due date, I woke up in the middle of the night with strong contractions. I called my doula (or birth coach) and thought it was time, but the contractions settled down, and I fell back to sleep. I went to the midwife the next day and she said everything looked fine, but I still wasn’t in labor.