by Sarah Riad
That was where I wanted to be—on the other side of the door and at the end of the drive. I would escape this house.
As my hand reached out for the handle, I wondered where I would go first. If I had learned anything in the last few days, it was that the world had become a different place. I no longer knew anything about it. I no longer knew what still existed, but despite all that, I knew that whatever the world was now, it had to be better than what this house could offer me.
The door handle unlocked under the careful pressure of my hand and once the door was wide open, I felt almost winded by the sight—by the possibilities. The world might have changed in the thirty-odd years, but this view hadn’t, albeit the front garden wasn’t looking so healthy these days with its unkempt bushes and overgrown grass.
This was it. I was going to leave this house for good.
I took a small step forward so that I was a mere few centimetres from the line that bordered the house and the garden. I was ready.
As I took a step forward, I felt myself crashing into something hard, but nothing was there. I tried again summoning more of my strength, but it was no use. I took several steps back, lining myself directly in front of the door. Maybe I needed to be quicker. I ran towards the door only to hit the invisible wall, sending me flying backwards. I tried over and over again, growing more and more frustrated until I landed on my backside shouting all kinds of obscenities at the stupid door.
Why couldn’t I just leave? Why was I stuck in this stupid place?
Once my tantrum had passed and I was back on my feet with the front door behind me, I looked around the house, hardly able to recognise it from the place it had been before. It seemed bigger and brighter, and even though it was now empty, life still beat through it. I had grown to hate this house after being stuck in it for so long, but seeing it like this forced me to remember a time when this house had been somewhere that I had loved to come. Huffing, I swatted away the memories and wandered the house, going into each room for a few seconds before leaving and going into the next.
Once I had reached their bedrooms, I started in Theo’s which already had looked far different to the mess it had been before. The walls had been painted a dark blue, matching the covers on his double bed in the centre of the room. His windows were open, allowing the morning sun to pour in onto his slightly messy floor made up of unpacked boxes and clothes from the days before. He, too, had a huge TV on his wall surrounded by signed football T-shirts and pictures of football players celebrating goals. Above his desk were some photographs taped to his wall in a chaotic mess. He was in most of them, smiling with boys and girls his age. Some were at parties, others in unrecognisable places. The boys posed and the girls all seemed to pout. I was definitely not impressed by the fashion choices in 2018—everyone seemed to be wearing black clothes with rips. As I glanced at all the photos, I noticed one at the end that was different from the others. It was of Theo and Finn both smiling with Theo’s arm wrapped around Finn’s shoulder as Maia sat on his lap. It must have been from a few years before as Maia looked tiny in Finn’s lap. They all looked so happy. Far from the boys I had seen pass each other in the hallways of the house as though they were nothing but strangers.
Restless, I left Theo’s room wondering what had happened to them. Uninterested in both Maia’s and her parents’ room, I headed for Finn’s. It was a world away from Theo’s. The windows were closed and bare except for a thick film of dirt. There were no photos on the wall, in fact, there was no sign that Finn lived in the room at all. It could have been anyone’s bedroom. As I pulled open one of his windows, allowing the light to reveal the dust in the room, I realised I couldn’t work out Finn. The rest of them—except maybe their dad—were obvious. Theo was the cool kid who played sports and had everyone falling over themselves to be his friend. Cait was the stressed mother, always juggling the happiness of her kids and husband forever hoping for the perfect family, and Maia was that special kid who was far wiser than her years. But Finn, I couldn’t figure out. He just seemed like a moody little brat. In the three days, he had been living in the house, I hadn’t seen him smile once, he barely spoke to any of his family and even when he did it was most likely a one-worded answer or a shrug of his shoulder. It was like he enjoyed being a miserable loser.
I hated people like him. They irritated me with their lack of desire for the world. I knew that if I could have traded with him, I’d be out in the world like a heartbeat, and yet he spent most of his time cooped up in his room playing games and staying up all night staring at pictures of his brother with a green eye. I would never have been friends with someone like Finn. Not because he was an outsider, I was an outsider too, but because people like Finn were ungrateful and made themselves a victim of the world when they were far from it.
Irritated by the memory of his grumpy face and my unsuccessful attempt to leave the house, I began writing on his window, moving the dirt with my finger. As Cait appeared in the drive, slamming her car door, I looked at my handy work and scoffed before following Cait around the house.
She spent hours cleaning and putting together furniture that hadn’t yet left its box. It was fascinating to watch as she worked fast to not only continue transforming the house but also begin washing clothes and making dinner. It was clear she had a fascination with dolls but not the cute kind that Maia played with. They were the kind that looked at you with a tilted glance and rosy smile while planning on how they’d kill you in your sleep.
There was one that especially scared the crap out of me. It had dark red wavy hair and huge brown eyes that seemed to follow you no matter where you were.
‘Ugh,’ I said turning its head to face the wall before following Cait up the stairs with a shudder.
It was as Cait reached the bedrooms but still continued to walk up the stairs that I realised she was headed to my library.
‘Oh no you don’t,’ I said, speeding through her and slamming the library door shut so loudly that Cait almost sent herself flying down the stairs with her jump.
‘That is my room, and it needs none of your cleaning or dolls, thank you very much,’ I said watching as she spun on her heel and headed back downstairs muttering a variation of no’s. She was terrified, I could feel it, but she busied herself walking into another empty room and finding old cabinets hidden beneath dust sheets. She pulled them off in one swift move, unearthing more dust than I had ever seen. It all collected above us, dancing in the air. I had been so mesmerised by it that I hadn’t noticed Cait leave the room and return with arms full of wooden furniture of her own. I watched as she carefully pulled open an easel and placed it to the side of the big windows that looked out onto the garden and surrounding woodlands. Carefully, she pulled different colours of paints out of a bag and laid them flat on one of the old cabinets, alongside paintbrushes of different lengths. I waited at the top of the stairs as she left the room again and returned this time with a bunch of canvas. Some had already been used displaying detailed abstract paintings of people, two of which were of Maia and Finn.
‘You did these?’ I said, amazed at her talent as she fiddled with a small box in the corner of the room before speaking out loud and giving me a small heart attack.
‘Alexa, play painting playlist,’ she said tying up a paint-covered apron around her as I looked around the room looking for ‘Alexa’ to appear.
‘Playing, Painting Playlist,’ a robotic voice said before familiar music began to play.
‘Who said that? Are there robots in 2018?’ I asked, following the sound of the music before realising it was coming from the small black box Cait had been playing with moments before.
‘Hello?’ I whispered to it. ‘Alexa…?’ It stopped playing music and lit up for a few minutes causing Cait to pause and stare.
‘Alexa, resume music,’ Cait said, and it did as it was told.
‘Wow,’ I whispered. ‘There really are robots.’
I went back to watching Cait begin drawing the outline of a
n eye, taking several moments to close her eyes and think as though she was trying to see them. The music changed automatically to Cyndi Lauper, and we both whispered in unison, ‘I love this song.’ It seems silly to say it but at that moment, as Cait sang along to every word said, I realised that I would have been her age had I been alive.
I wondered what she would have been like as a teenager. She was far too pretty, even in her fifties, to not have been popular. With her full lips, pale eyes, wavy curls, and porcelain skin, she was pretty in a classic way. I would bet on my life that she had loads of friends that wanted to be just like her and boys rushing around her trying to catch her attention, just like Theo. I wondered what she was like before she became a mum. I wondered if we would have been friends. Of course, I knew the answer to that question. We wouldn’t have, just as the girls in my school hadn’t been my friends back then either.
Several hours had passed when Jack’s rough voice called up the stairs, startling both Cait and me.
‘You’re painting again,’ he said once he reached the room with a smile. ‘Who is the culprit this time?’ He placed a soft kiss on her forehead. He seemed relaxed as he playfully reached for Cait’s ponytail, twisting it gently through his fingers.
‘Oh, no one in particular,’ Cait said setting down her paintbrush and untying her apron.
‘Don’t stop on my account. I’ll just be downstairs working on the floor,’ Jack said, walking out of the room leaving Cait staring back at the painting. Not much had been done since she first started hours before except for the eye was more detailed and obviously belonged to a girl. She sighed loudly before walking out of the room, closing the door behind her. Instead of following, as I had done all day, I decided to head to the library to finish off the book I had started the night before.
10
Finn
How was your first day?’ my mum said with a hopeful smile as I climbed into the back seat.
I shrugged and made a noise as I looked out of the window at Theo standing outside surrounded by his new friends.
He was full of smiles, making everyone laugh, while all I wanted to do was punch him in the face.
Eventually, he waved his friends goodbye and headed for the car with a smile that seemed smug.
‘Are they your new friends?’ Mum asked, and Theo went on to talk about how great his first day was and how he’d been accepted to the school’s football team.
I rolled my eyes, my own first day not being even close to Theo’s. It started with me going to a class that I hadn’t been registered in, where my teacher spent almost fifteen minutes pointing out that I was not on his register. His bushy grey and black eyebrows frowned as he threw his arms up and told me to go back to the school reception to get it sorted. Why he couldn’t just let me in, I don’t know. I had left the room feeling like I was about to vomit after having the entire class sit and stare at me. It took an hour for the pink lipped receptionist to reprint my class schedule at which point I had missed my first lesson and had to join the next lesson while it was midway through.
‘Sorry, Mr Paxman, this is our new student, Finn.’ The receptionist handed me over to Mr Paxman like I was a disease.
‘Ah, I was wondering where you had gotten to. Welcome to the class, Finn—you can call me Alex!’ The teacher grinned. He was obviously one of those younger teachers that thought by getting everyone to call him by his first name, he was immediately cooler. As I felt the eyes of every kid in the class drilling holes into the back of my head, Mr Paxman—Alex—went to speak again.
‘Please do not ask me to tell everyone three cool facts about me. Please,’ I said silently, knowing his type.
Mr Paxman stopped for a moment and smiled before pointing me out to a desk at the back of the room.
Just when I was starting to think Mr Paxman might be an ok teacher after all, he called for me to stay behind once the class bell rang.
‘New kid is in trouble already,’ someone muttered as they passed me until I recognised him as the one that barged into me earlier.
I stayed at my desk until the room was empty, and Mr Paxman leaned against the desk in front of me.
‘So, Finn. How are you settling in?’
Internally, I sighed wondering if this was my mum’s doing. Had she told my teachers to keep an eye on me?
‘Fine.’
He nodded and crossed his arms. ‘I saw your grades from your last school, and I have to say, I was pretty excited to be getting a student so keen on history.’
I weakly smiled noticing his choice of words—he was excited.
‘Anyway, I’m looking forward to working with you, and if any of the stuff I give you seems a little easy make sure you let me know, ok?’
I nodded, relieved that was all he wanted to talk about.
‘Yeah. Fine. Can I go now?’ I asked, eager not to miss the start of another class.
‘As you were,’ he said returning to his desk and allowing me to leave.
The rest of the morning had been less chaotic, and I knew that after lunch I had two hours of study break before my final class. I just had to get past the dreaded lunchtime. At my last school, I would head to the far side of the football pitch, climb through the small hole in the fence and go to the local park. It was the escape route some people took to bunk school, but I’d always return once I had eaten my lunch and class was about to begin. It was different here though. I was almost certain that a school like this didn’t have any holes in the fence, and plus, I didn’t have any lunch—thanks to my dad. I felt the money in my jeans pocket and the grumble in my stomach as I eyed up the school cafeteria. I could feel my cheeks radiating heat across my face as my heart raced. My stomach growled in protest as I wondered if I could go without lunch. I cursed at myself silently for being such an idiot about going into a school cafeteria. There were kids that we almost half my size in their first year in secondary school, and yet they walked around with confidence. I took a deep breath as I headed for the entrance and walked into the huge hall of chattering, feeling my heart race against my chest. I could see the sandwich stall at the far end as I weaved between the other kids with the money tight in my sweaty hand.
‘What would you like?’ The server asked without even looking at me.
‘Just this,’ I said holding up a chicken sandwich. I would have preferred an egg mayo sandwich, but I didn’t have time to look around for one so grabbed the first one that looked edible.
I handed over the money, receiving a look once they had realised the money was wet from the sweat of my hands. I didn’t wait around for the penny change as I hurried out of the hall, dropping my lunch on the floor.
‘Hey, slow down buddy!’ Mr Paxman said as he bent down to reach my sandwich. ‘Finn,’ he handed over my sandwich with curious eyes. ‘Everything ok?’
I nodded, a little too enthusiastically. ‘Yeah, sorry.’ I began to walk off before he called my name again.
My stomach was in knots as he walked over to me.
‘Where are you heading?’
‘Erm, the toilet,’ I stuttered feeling my face grow red.
‘With your sandwich?’ He looked at me with the same curious eyes. The kind that saw right through me.
He went into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys before handing me them.
‘The big one will get you into my classroom. I’ll be back to get them in about forty-five minutes,’ he said.
I watched his face for a look of judgement but instead there was only a pair of soft green eyes looking at me with a smile.
‘We’ve all been the new kid before.’ He winked before walking off into the cafeteria.
Without a second thought, I walked off trying to remember where his class was and was relieved when I finally found it.
The rest of the school day had been okay except for a few minutes before the end of school bell rang. I was leaving the only class I shared with Theo when I was shoved into, and I dropped my phone on the floor.
‘You, ag
ain. I’m starting to get irritated by you, man,’ said the boy from earlier that morning as he got close to my face. Just as he was about to take another step closer to me Theo appeared beside us.
‘TJ, what’s going on?’ he said.
‘Just this dickhead constantly getting in my way,’ TJ said sticking out his chest obviously feeling inferior to Theo’s size.
‘Cool, well I’m sure he didn’t mean it, right, Finn?’ Theo looked at me with a serious glare.
‘I didn’t do anything in the first place,’ I said reaching down to pick up my phone, but TJ’s foot got there first.
‘Can you take your foot off of my phone?’ I said trying to sound normal but inside I was a wreck. My stomach was churning, my chest felt tight and my head was pounding.
‘You forgot to say please.’ TJ laughed as a crowd circled us.
‘TJ, he’s my brother. Now give him his phone,’ Theo said, and instantly TJ lifted his foot off the phone and backed away a few inches.
‘Hey, I’m sorry, man—I didn’t know,’ he said with a nervous laugh. ‘Just tell him to stay out of my way, yeah?’
My face felt like it was on flames as I reached down to grab my phone only to watch someone else pick up. I followed the hand until I found the face it belonged to.
‘Here.’ A girl with dark hair and the greenest eyes I had ever seen said handing me the phone. She flashed me a smile but I didn’t return it instead, I grabbed the phone and pushed past the crowd, desperate to get home.
When we had finally parked outside the house, Mum called me back once Theo had taken Maia into the house.
‘Look, it’s a brand new school, maybe if you try a little it could be a better place for you,’ she said, and though I knew she was just trying to be nice, I couldn’t control my earlier anger.
‘Mum, just stay out of it,’ I said before storming off into the house and up to my room.