Not Pretending Anymore

by Penelope Ward

  “You seem pretty successful. I’m sure they’re proud.”

  “They’d like me to settle down at some point, but yeah, they haven’t disowned me yet.” He changed the subject. “So what’s the game plan for tomorrow night?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Going in for the kill with Dr. Dickalicious. What’s your strategy?”

  Why did I tell him about Will? “Am I supposed to have a plan?”

  “Well, you want him to know you like him, right?”

  “Yes. But I don’t want to be too forward. He just got out of a relationship. By the same token, guys like him don’t stay single for very long.”

  “Okay, so you know you need to kill him with unattainability.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Everything with men is about reverse psychology. If we think we can’t have something, we want it ten times more. We’re like toddlers that way.”

  “Is that why you’re so into Julia—because she’s taken?”

  He scratched his chin. “On a subconscious level, that could be fueling the fire. It’s not even close to the main reasons I like her, though.”

  “What are you suggesting I do?” My tone was dismissive, but a part of me actually did want to hear what he had to say. It wasn’t often I got a man’s perspective on such things.

  “Don’t show him you like him. Show him why he should like you.”

  My ears perked up. “And that consists of doing what?”

  “Looking fucking hot as hell, which I know you can pull off easily. Inserting yourself into conversations with everyone nearby but him—show him what he’s missing. Then when he inevitably comes around, talk to him, but then move your attention on to someone else. That will leave him hanging and wanting more. We love a good chase.”

  “Doesn’t that risk making it look like I don’t like him?”

  “Trust me. If he wants you, he’s going to make a move at some point. The more disinterested you seem, the harder his dick will get.”

  “Well, thanks for that visual, I think.”

  “You’re welcome. You’ll find that I’m pretty blunt and don’t like to beat around the bush.” He looked around. “Are we done with roomie rules?”

  “Yes. I think so—until I think of something I’ve forgotten.”

  “Good.” He walked over to his gym bag and opened it, taking out a couple of bottles of Gatorade. “Mind if I throw these in the fridge?”

  “Not at all.”

  After he placed his drinks in the refrigerator, he noticed the Tupperware container and opened it.

  “Damn. I guess you liked them?”

  “I got a little carried away. They were really good.”

  “Is that another one of your quirks—decapitating cupcakes evenly?”

  “The frosting is my favorite part.”

  “You won’t eat the bottoms now?”

  “Not without frosting, no.”

  “Well, see? I knew we were a good match. I hate the frosting. I normally eat around it. Between this and our mutual affinity for white wine, I’d say this is gonna work out.” He grinned. “Are you a muffin-top person, too?”

  “Yes.”

  “Bingo. See? I’m a bottom.” He rolled his eyes. “Okay, yeah, that didn’t come out right, but you know what I mean.”

  “You’re nuts.” I shook my head, unable to contain my smile. “Thank you again for making the cupcakes, though. That was very thoughtful.”

  “Well, obviously you know I had an ulterior motive.”

  “One that clearly paid off.”

  His eyes wandered in the direction of the bedrooms. “Mind if go unpack?”

  “Go right ahead.”

  “Sweet. Lead the way.”

  Declan rolled his suitcase as he followed me to his new room.

  I ventured into my own room to give him some privacy, but felt unable to concentrate on anything other than the fact that he was here.

  As I listened to the sound of Declan humming along to the tunes he played on his phone while he unpacked, I couldn’t help but smile. I’d been dreading having to get a new roommate, losing sleep over it. But for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was going to get a good night’s rest.

  He startled me when he popped his head into my room. “Okay to hang my toothbrush next to yours?”

  “Did I give you the impression that it wouldn’t be?”

  “You said what’s yours is yours. So I didn’t know if that extended to the toothbrush holder.”

  “I’m sorry if I came off a little harsh at first. I just need to get used to this. That’s all. I’m already feeling better about you being here.”

  “Good.” He suddenly made himself comfortable on the end of my bed, lying flat on his back as he looked up at the ceiling. The sight of his long body splayed across my bed was…something else.

  He rested his hands behind his head and turned to me. “You said tomorrow’s your day off, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You got eggs and bread and stuff?”

  “Yes. Though I think they’re going to expire soon.”

  “Cool. I’ll make breakfast for us in the morning—a little inaugural celebration. No strings. You won’t owe me anything.” He winked. “For this one.”

  “You’re not gonna hear me complain about someone making breakfast for me. Ever.”

  “But I’m warning you, I like to play music when I cook, shake my ass around to the beat. Sing a little. Might use a spatula for a microphone. You okay with a little kitchen karaoke?”

  “As long as I’m awake and you’re clothed, go for it.”

  He hopped off my bed, spun around like freaking Michael Jackson, and disappeared down the hall.

  This is going to be a long six months.

  CHAPTER 3

  * * *

  Molly

  The next morning, I woke to the smell of bacon.

  After I washed my face and brushed my teeth, I let my nose lead the way to the kitchen. Declan stood at the stove singing Darius Rucker’s “Wagon Wheel.” He had earbuds in, so he didn’t immediately hear me walk out. It gave me a chance to listen to his voice, which was…pretty damn bad. For some reason, that made me smile. A man who looked the way he did and was blessed with so much charisma had to have some flaws. Plus, I liked the fact that he didn’t seem to care that he couldn’t carry a tune.

  I walked straight to the coffee pot, opened the cabinet above it, and grabbed a mug. Declan took out one earbud and smiled.

  “Morning, roomie. I hope I didn’t wake you with my singing?”

  I wasn’t generally a morning person—mostly because I worked the night shift—so I had a hard time falling asleep before two in the morning on my days off. Nevertheless, I felt chipper today.

  “You didn’t.” I poured coffee and raised my mug to my lips. “And is that what that sound was? You were singing? I thought maybe someone was strangling a cat.”

  Declan squinted. “Are you trying to tell me I don’t have a good voice?”

  “I can’t possibly be the first to break that news.”

  He smiled like I’d given him a compliment instead of insulting him and nodded his chin toward my mug. “You drink your coffee black. Me too. Told you we were meant to be roommates.”

  I chuckled and stepped closer to the stove. Declan had three burners going, including the one that hadn’t worked since I’d moved in. “How did you get the left front burner to turn on?”

  “You had a clog. I took it apart and used a toothpick to clean out some dried grease stuck in the burner holes.”

  “Oh. Wow. Well, thanks.”

  “Glad to be of service. Now why don’t you take a seat? Breakfast is almost ready.”

  A few minutes later, Declan placed a perfectly formed omelet, bacon, and hash browns in front of me, along with a glass of orange juice.

  “This looks amazing. Because of my schedule, I don’t tend to eat a lot of breakfast. If I’m hungry after I get o
ff work, I usually just grab a yogurt or something. I don’t sleep well on a full stomach. But this is actually my favorite type of meal. I prefer breakfast foods to most dinners. It’s probably the thing I miss most about a normal morning schedule.”

  Declan sat down and cut into his omelet. “Why do you have to miss it? Just make breakfast for dinner, before you go to work.”

  I wrinkled my nose. “I couldn’t do that.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know…because breakfast is morning food.”

  “Who says?”

  “Umm…everyone?”

  “Let me get this straight. Breakfast is your favorite food, but you don’t eat it because traditionally people eat it in the morning and you’re usually sleeping during that time.”

  “You’re making it sound silly. But it makes sense.”

  He perked a brow. “To whom?”

  I laughed. “To me.”

  Declan tsked. “Molly, Molly, Molly. Not everything needs to have a specific time or place. It’s a good thing I’m here. You need my help.”

  “Oh I do? Exactly what kind of help is it that I need?”

  “You need to loosen up a little.”

  We’d been joking around until now, but his comment hit a nerve. My last boyfriend had called me uptight on more than one occasion. So I felt a bit defensive. “I don’t think you know me well enough to make that type of judgment. I’ll have you know, I’m not uptight.”

  Declan tilted his head. “No?”

  “No.”

  “Alright, Molly. Whatever you say…”

  Now he was just pacifying me. “Don’t say alright, Molly. You’re making me sound rigid. But I’m not. I didn’t say I wouldn’t eat breakfast at night if the opportunity presented itself. It just hasn’t. That’s all.”

  “Okay. Sorry if I upset you.”

  I’d effectively killed the mood. What had started as a fun morning had now turned into breakfast in silence. By the time we were done eating, I felt like a giant ass.

  “That was really delicious. I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

  Declan forced a smile. “It’s fine.”

  “No, it’s not. You went to all this trouble, and I jumped down your throat. It won’t happen again.”

  He smirked. “Oh yes it will. I tend to say things that should probably be kept to myself. So it most definitely will be happening again.”

  I chuckled. “Okay. Well, maybe you can work on that, and I’ll work on not snapping at you so easily.”

  “Sounds good, Mollz. You have any plans for today? You’re off, right?”

  I picked up my plate and started to clear the table. “Yeah, I’m off. I worked three twelve-hour shifts in a row, so now I’m off for a couple of days. Though I don’t have any big plans really. Today I’m going to go food shopping and to the dry cleaner. And then later I’m meeting some friends from work at happy hour. I mentioned it last night.”

  “That’s right. Tonight you’re seeing Doc in the Box.”

  “Do you mean Will? He works at the hospital with me, not one of those roadside urgent-care places.”

  “Oh, I know. But he’s an OB, right?”

  “Yes…but…. Ohh, doc in the box.” I chuckled. “Cute.”

  Declan and I cleaned up the kitchen together. I loaded the dishwasher while he put away all of the things he’d used to cook, cleaned the kitchen table, and wiped down the stovetop. When we were both done, I dried my hands on a towel before blotting at my wet shirt. The damn kitchen faucet had a leak that sprayed whenever the water was turned on more than a trickle. I’d had a piece of electrical tape wrapped around the neck as a temporary fix, but it must’ve fallen off.

  Tossing the dishtowel on the counter, I looked up and found Declan staring. I quickly realized why. Last night I’d slept in a white T-shirt and no bra, and now the top half of my shirt was completely see-through. Not only that, the wetness was cold against my skin, so my nipples were fully erect, practically piercing through my invisible shirt.

  Folding my arms, I attempted to cover up. “The…uh…water faucet sprays a bit.”

  Declan’s eyes lifted to meet mine. He swallowed and cleared his throat before looking away. “I’ll take care of it today.”

  “Oh. It’s okay. It’s been that way for a while. I can just call the super again. You don’t have to fix it.”

  He grumbled. “Yeah, I do. I absolutely freaking do.”

  ***

  Later that evening, I was a little disappointed that Declan hadn’t been home before I left for happy hour. I’d gotten myself more done-up than usual, and could’ve used his bluntness to find out if I looked like I was trying too hard. I mean, I was, but I didn’t want it to look that way.

  My four outfit changes had made me late, so most people were already at McBride’s when I arrived. Noticeably absent was whatshername, who usually came to happy hour to hang on Will’s arm. Feeling unusually nervous, I walked straight to the bar and stood next to Daisy, a new physician’s assistant. I’d met her a few times on the unit, but this was the first time she’d come to one of our twice-a-month meetups.

  “Hey,” I said. “I’m glad you came.”

  “Hey, Molly.” She did a quick sweep over my outfit. “I love that green on you. You look so different without scrubs and a ponytail.”

  I smiled, now glad I’d made that last wardrobe change and sprung for a professional blowout this afternoon. The emerald color of my silk blouse was a bit bold for me, especially against my pale skin and dark hair. But I’d paired it with dark jeans and simple wedges to try to keep it casual. “Thank you. You look really nice, too.”

  The bartender walked over and set down a napkin in front of me. “Hey, Molly. How’s it going? What can I get for you today?”

  “Hey, Patrick. I’ll have a Stoli vanilla and ginger ale, please.”

  He nodded. “You got it. Coming right up.”

  “Mmm…” Daisy said. “That’s the drink that tastes like a cream soda, isn’t it?”

  “It is. You want one?”

  She looked at the bottle of beer in her hand, which was almost empty. “Sure. Why not?”

  I looked at the bartender. “Can you make that two? And hers is on me.”

  “You want to start a tab?”

  “Yes, please.”

  After Patrick walked away to make our drinks, Daisy said, “You didn’t have to do that. But thank you.”

  I smiled. “No problem. So tell me how you like being at Chicago General? How long has it been now? Has to be almost a month already, right?”

  She nodded. “Five weeks, actually. I really like it. Not that I have too much to compare it to. This is my first job after graduating. Some of the doctors can be really intimidating.”

  “You mean like Dr. Benton?”

  Daisy grimaced. “Especially Dr. Benton. God, that man makes me so nervous. He walks into a room and I start to freeze up.”

  “I’ll tell you a little secret about him that might help.”

  “What?”

  I leaned in. “Smile a lot. It freaks him out.”

  She chuckled. “Are you serious?”

  “Yup. Anything he asks you, just respond wearing a giant smile. It’s like it disarms him or something. I have a theory that he barks at everyone so they won’t be able to smile, because smiles are kryptonite to him.”

  “Wow. Okay. I’ll try it. That’s really great to know. What else you got?”

  “Have you met Dr. Arlington?”

  “Yeah. He’s pretty grumpy, too.”

  “He’ll try to dump his interns on you and take off for hours if you let him.”

  Daisy’s eyes widened. “He did that to me the other day. Told me to show them the ropes. I had no idea what to do with four interns. They’ve been at General longer than I have. They would’ve been better off showing me the ropes.”

  “Yup. So next time he attempts to leave you with them, you say ‘Actually, I need to go see Edith in the nursing office.’�
��

  “Even if I don’t need to go see her?”

  I nodded. “Yup. He’s terrified of Edith.”

  “He is? But she’s so tiny and sweet.”

  I pointed at Daisy. “Until you piss her off. Then she’s pretty damn scary. Even the threat of Edith will scare Dr. Arlington. She once laid into him for dumping his interns, and now if you just mention her name, he backs off.”

  She laughed, probably assuming I was exaggerating, but I wasn’t. We worked with a real cast of characters. Patrick, the bartender, walked over and delivered our drinks. While we sipped, the two of us looked around at the group. Tonight was a nice turnout.

  Daisy lifted her chin and pointed to where Will was talking to an anesthesiologist at the far end of the bar. “What about Dr. Daniels? What’s his story?”

  “Will’s one of the good ones. He’s pretty nice to everyone. You won’t have any problems with him.”

  She bit her bottom lip. “I meant what’s his story. Is he…single?”

  Oh. Ugh. Shit. “Umm… I’m not sure. He’s off and on with someone. Are you…interested?”

  Daisy sipped her drink with a coy smile. “He’s really good-looking.”

  Yeah, he is. I shrugged. And of course, just then, he had to walk over to us.

  He kissed my cheek. “Hey, Molly. I didn’t see you come in.”

  Daisy straightened her posture.

  “I just got here,” I said.

  He nodded and turned his attention to the woman next to me. “It’s Daisy, right?”

  She lit up with a megawatt smile. “It is. It’s nice to see you, Dr. Daniels.”

  “Please, call me Will.”

  “Alright, Will. You know, the other day I happened to notice you getting into your car in the parking lot. You have a Northwestern alum sticker. Is that where you went?”

  “It is.”

  “Me too.” She made a fist and pumped it into the air. “Go Wildcats.”

  “Oh yeah? I’m a huge fan. I still keep season tickets.”

  Daisy pouted. “I’m so jealous. I couldn’t afford them this year. I was a cheerleader for four years, and I miss the excitement of game days.”