A Year in His Life
Page 9
What to do, what to do?
He slapped his forehead and winced at the sharp pain. There had to be some way to figure this out!
Justin turned on his heel and had just begun walking back to the window when the intercom crackled to life and Eleanor’s voice came through.
“Sir?” she said, sounding rather bored. “Miss Alicia Hargreaves is here to see you.” She went silent for a couple of seconds, then added, with a small sigh, “Again.”
Of course. Because Alicia was just the person he needed to see when he was pondering about the future of his relationship with a woman who might or might not end up getting hurt by him. Justin made for his desk and put the receiver to his ear. “Please tell her to get out.”
“Right away, sir –”
“Wait!” he said suddenly, actually holding up a hand as if she could see him from all the way down on the first floor. “Tell her to come right up.”
There was a pause. Then Eleanor stuttered, “S-sir? You want me t-to –”
“Yes,” Justin told her. “Let her come up and see me.”
A sudden thought had occurred to him. Maybe he could talk to his ex-girlfriend for a while. It didn’t seem very promising, but there was always a chance he’d get a good tip or two from Alicia.
Or not.
He set down the receiver and waited, shoving his hands deep into his pockets and walking over to the window, staring out at the cars and pedestrians moving about below. They seemed to live a simple life – or at least, one simpler than the one he was living. Justin couldn’t be sure, but he had a feeling they didn’t tend to have problems like his. It didn’t seem very likely that most other people were after them for their money or that they had attachment issues because of this. Sometimes, Justin wished he live like one of these people for a day.
No wonder he liked being around Elena so much. She was normal, yet way beyond normal at the same time.
It seemed to take forever for Alicia to come up. Finally, he heard the distant ping of the elevator as the doors parted. A few moments later, there came a knock on his office door.
“Come in,” Justin said.
The door swung open. Justin turned around slowly, just in time to see a young woman in a skimpy red gown saunter into the office, her white heels clacking on the marble floor. She had blue eyes and pouty lips, her eyebrows darker than usual. The last time Justin had laid eyes on her, her hair had been jet-black. Now it was snow-white, gleaming in the light from the fluorescent bulbs overhead.
Alicia fixated her blue eyes on him, and her red lips curved into a smile. “It’s about time you let me in here. I was beginning to think you didn’t want to see me ever again.”
Justin wanted to tell her that that was his actual intention, but he kept his mouth shut. Not that he would’ve had a chance to speak anyway. Without even waiting for a response, Alicia made her way to him and planted a kiss on his cheeks, then took a seat in one of the chairs opposite his.
“What are you doing here?” Justin wanted to know. He discretely wiped his cheeks on his sleeves and made for his chair, plunking down on it with a sigh.
Alicia shrugged. “I’ve missed you, Justin. Is it a crime to come pay you a visit now? Or because we’re exes it’s not okay for me to want to talk to you?”
Words couldn’t possibly describe how much he would love to have her thrown out of the building – not from the thirty-sixth floor, of course – but he simply shook his head. “It’s not that. I’m just surprised to see you, that’s all.”
“So,” she said, “what do you think of my new look?”
She flipped her hair over her shoulder for effect. Justin smirked
“White hair and those blue eyes?” he scoffed. “You look like Queen Elsa trying to sneak into a night club.” Why had he allowed this woman to come up in the first place?
Alicia flashed him a pleased look. “Well, I try. How’s life been treating you lately?”
“Well, I’m not dead, that’s for sure,” he said. It was a weak attempt at humor.
She did not laugh. “You know what I’m talking about, Justin. Who’s the new girl in your life? What’s her name?”
“What makes you think there’s anyone in my life at the moment?”
Alicia cocked an eyebrow at him and he bit his lip, inadvertently betraying himself. She knew him better than most of his previous girlfriends – not well enough to figure out that he’d had no intention of having a long-lasting relationship with her, but well enough to understand many of his idiosyncrasies. If they hadn’t dated and broken up, they might have grown to become best of friends. But then he probably wouldn’t have met Elena, so he was glad for the way things turned out.
“Fine.” He heaved a resigned sigh. “There is someone new.”
He thought he saw a look of jealousy flash in Alicia’s eyes, but the next instant it was gone. Her grin widened. “Interesting. Tell me about her.”
Justin had a feeling doing that would be a terrible idea, but he went on to tell her about Elena. By the time he was finished talking, her eyebrows had risen ever so slightly. She leaned back in her seat and crossed her legs.
For a couple of moments, neither of them said a word.
“So that’s why you decided to leave me,” Alicia said, breaking the silence. “You wanted to stick your meat in some barmaid.”
She said it like he’d been rolling around in the streets, covered in mud and sewage. Justin felt his hands clench into fists, but he managed to keep his emotions under check.
“You make it sound like all I wanted was to have sex with her,” he replied through gritted teeth. “For your information, I was drawn to her because…well, I just was. And for the record, you and I had already broken up by the time I met Elena.”
Alicia folded her arms across her chest. The expression on her face could easily be mistaken for pure amusement, but Justin could tell just what it really was. “I’m sorry, did you just say we broke up? Because unless I’m wrong, it was you who ended the relationship. You dumped me. Don’t make it sound like it was a mutual agreement. I was never ready for us –” she pointed at herself, then at him “– to end.”
She put her arms down and cocked her head to one side, still staring at him as though daring him to deny her claim. Justin sighed. She was right. It had all been him. He’d been the one who ended the whole thing, the one who told her they could no longer be together, on that night at the seaside party.
“If you don’t mind me asking,” Alicia said suddenly, “why did you dump me?”
“Don’t say it like that –”
“I’m saying it like it is. Now answer the question.”
He beat a tattoo on the table for a couple of seconds, then opened his mouth to speak. “It’s because of me. I have a…problem.”
Alicia leaned forward in her seat. “Interesting. Tell me about it?”
“I have issues with commitment,” he explained. “I find it hard to stay in relationships for long. I always end up breaking up with whoever it is I’m dating.”
Her eyebrows furrowed. “So…it’s like a chronic illness, this inability of yours to commit?”
“When you say it like that, it makes me sound stupid,” Justin complained in a slightly whiny voice.
“It is stupid!” she exploded. “You can’t just blame your failed relationships on some ‘inability’ to commit. Why not just tell us from the start that you don’t intend to have long-lasting relationships with us? Why lead us on?”
She had a point. Annoying as she could be, this woman was smarter than he’d realized. Her words made him think of Elena, and how he hadn’t told her of his little problem before they became an item.
Alicia must have figured out what was going on in his mind, because the next thing he knew, she was asking, “You’ve been with this Elena woman for…how long?”
“Five months, give or take.” He gave a shrug. “Why?”
“Because you just told me you have commitment issues…”
“You see, that’s actually one of the things that have been bothering me,” he admitted. Climbing out of his seat, he walked around to the other side of the table and sat on it, his hands in his lap. “I’m worried that my commitment issues will mess things up for both of us.”
“Ooh, interesting.” Alicia smirked. “Sounds like a good plot for a story.”
“You’re not taking me seriously.”
She ignored him and rose out of her chair, making for a row of cabinets in a corner of the office. “You still got any booze in here? I’m thirsty.”
Justin ground his teeth together. “I need you to pay attention here, Alicia.”
Alicia said nothing for a moment, just pulled open the first cabinet and withdrew a bottle of Hennessy and a couple of glasses. She turned around, a triumphant grin plastered on her face, and returned to the table. Before he could protest, she set down the glasses and filled them, handing one of them to him. Justin took it reluctantly, and her grin widened. They clinked glasses and she began to drink.
“What was it you were saying?” she asked. She gave him a nudge. “Drink up, honey, drink up.”
Justin took a sip from his glass. “I was saying that I’m worried my commitment issues are going to ruin my relationship with Elena.”
Alicia nodded, then began pouring herself another glass. “Your so-called issues haven’t ruined it so far, so why are you so worried? It’s been five months, Justin. If you’d only been dating for a couple of weeks, I would’ve said you had a good reason to be worried. But this? Justin, honey, this is paranoia at its best. Your relationship with Elena sounds perfectly fine. You’re the one who’s being such a girl.” She snorted into her drink.
“I’m not –” He broke off with a sigh. How was he going to get this woman to take him seriously? He was telling her about his love life and she was casually drinking, like he was merely telling her how his day at work had been.
“She wants to get married.”
Alicia slopped Hennessy down the front of her gown and looked at him with wide eyes.
“What did you just say?” she spluttered.
At least he’d managed to get her attention. “She wants us to get married,” he repeated. “She told me a couple of weeks ago.”
“And?” Alicia gesticulated with her hand as though telling him to go on.
“That’s it,” he told her.
“Don’t you want to get married to her?” She suddenly gave another snort. “I mean, it doesn’t sound at all like you, Justin. You’re this billionaire playboy and she’s…a barmaid. You never struck me as the marriage type. But are you that interested in her?”
For someone he considered smart, she could be quite dense. Couldn’t he see that already? “I love her, Alicia. You have no idea how happy marrying her would make me.”
Justin realized he was smiling. He almost laughed at himself for this. For months, he’d done his very best to avoid Alicia, and now they were talking in his office about his latest flame.
A look of pure amusement filled her blue eyes. “That’s really cute, dear, but you’re still not making any sense. If you want to marry her, why not go for it?”
“Because it’s not that simple!” he nearly exploded. “So much could go wrong. My commitment issues –”
“Okay, now I need you to shut up about that. Just go with the flow.” Alicia set down her glass and inched closer, leaning against the desk. “If you want her, go for her. If not, you can always find someone else to start over with.”
“I couldn’t!” The mere thought of leaving Elena for someone else sent a chill down his spine.
“Then marry her.” Alicia placed a hand on his shoulder. “If it works out with her, then it works out with her. If it doesn’t, the show goes on. Worrying about it isn’t going to help matters. It’s only going to lead you to make dumb decisions. That’s the real reason you can’t keep a girlfriend long enough.”
Her voice faded into silence and her words began to sink in. She was right. He wasn’t doing himself or anyone else any good by constantly pondering the fate of his relationship with Elena. Whatever decision he made, he made. He’d broken up with Alicia and other women partly because he’d worried about making a mistake. In all these relationships, his worrying about how they might end was the constant. It was the sole problem.
“Look, Justin,” Alicia said suddenly, dragging him out of his thoughts, “I’m not going to force you to make any decisions concerning your marriage with that barmaid. That’s really none of my business. I came here for a different reason.”
“I understand,” Justin told her. Then his eyebrows knit together. “Wait…what reason are you talking about?”
Alicia said nothing, but drew even closer to him, her hand sliding down his arm and back up in a somewhat teasing motion. When Justin looked her in her eyes, she had a familiar smile on her face.
She was trying to seduce him!
“Oh, I’ve missed this so much,” he heard her whisper, pressing her body against his. “I’ve missed having your sexy body so close to mine, your big, warm hands touching every inch of my skin. I can still remember how it felt to have you buried inside me…”
Her voice turned sultry. Seven months ago, Justin would have found this extremely sexy. By now, his cock would have been out and ready for action. But now, as this woman splayed her hands on his chest and caressed his body, he felt nothing but irritation. Before she could move her hands any further, he shoved her away from him and took a couple of steps backwards, glaring at her.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” he boomed.
“I just wanted to have fun with you,” she replied with a casual shrug, as though all she’d done was try to give him a friendly hug and not try to get him to sleep with her.
“I have a girlfriend, Alicia.” A thought slithered into his mind and his eyebrows shot up. “Wait a minute…was that why you wanted me to drink? So that I’d forget everything else and have sex with you?”
Alicia gave another shrug. “Maybe.”
Justin could hardly believe his ears. So she’d come here just so she could have sex with him again! Was that why she’d been coming to HQ every week for the past six months? Another thought occurred to him and his eyes grew wide. Was it possible that she’d come to try to get him to impregnate her so she could get benefits from him?
So many possibilities. And not a single one of them was pleasant in the least.
His eyebrows dipped in annoyance. Whatever her reasons were, he didn’t care. Not anymore.
He pointed at the door. “Leave my office. Now.”
Alicia blinked at him. “What did you just say?”
“You may be dumb and desperate,” Justin told her, fuming, “but I’m pretty sure you’re not deaf as well. Can you get out of my office now?”
At this point, he was well past beyond caring how she left the office. If she wanted, she could take the door or jump out the window. He’d explain her suicide to the cops when they arrived. In any case, he just wanted her out of his sight.
Alicia regarded him for a moment, nodding slowly. “I hope things don’t work out with that bitch of yours. Goodbye, Justin.”
With that, she turned and marched out of the office, slamming the door behind her. Justin disposed of the wine bottle and glasses and returned to his desk, pressing a button on the intercom machine.
“Eleanor?” he said, putting the receiver to his ear.
“Yes, sir?” The receptionist’s voice was calm compared to his, which was clearly shaking with anger. “Is everything alright?”
“Everything is fine,” he told her. “I don’t ever want to see Alicia Hargreaves again. Make sure she never comes up to see me. Is that clear?�
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There was a slight pause in which Eleanor seemed to be wondering what could possibly have gone wrong. Then she said, “Clear as silk, sir.”
“Good.” He slammed down the receiver and walked to the window again, raking his fingers through his hair.
He still couldn’t believe what had just happened. He felt stupid for not having seen it coming. Knowing Alicia, he should have figured she would try something like this. But he’d been so desperate for help that he’d allowed her to come up into his office. And now this.
How in the world was he supposed to explain to Elena that an old flame of his tried to get him drunk so he could get in bed – or, in this case, on the desk – with her?
Justin pressed his fingers against the glass and stared down at the bustling city below.
Chapter 9
You Take My Breath Away…Literally
Elena sat on a stool and strummed her guitar, gazing at the floor like it was the most beautiful thing she had ever laid eyes on.
“Don’t know if I can wait much longer,
My feelings are growing stronger,
But how can I keep loving you
If you won’t love me too?
My heart beats for you, but yours don’t beat back,
I thought I knew you, but I don’t know jack,
And is scares me, baby, how
You still don’t love me now!”
Her voice rose significantly as she launched into the chorus, filling The Sparkling Spout with the wonderful sound. She could just imagine her music wafting out of the bar and into the ears of pedestrians and motorists, drawing them to her or filling them with the sadness and worry that threatened to rip her apart.
As she sang, she thought about Justin, about the conversation they’d had on the night she was almost raped, about the way he’d reacted to her bringing up the topic of marriage, and her feelings grew. At this point, she was already considering dropping the guitar and running out of sight before she broke down and made a fool of herself before her audience, but she managed to keep herself in place. The show had to go on.