Save Me

by Stephanie Street

  “Aw, man!” Eric’s face drooped as he looked at his phone.

  “What,” I asked.

  “My mom wants me to pick up my little brother at his friend’s house on my way home,” he answered, his face twisted with annoyance.

  “I can give you a ride home, Jo.” Cole appeared at my elbow from out of nowhere making me jump.

  “No, that’s okay-” Eric started to say.

  “Unless, this is a date. I wouldn’t want to, you know, butt in or anything.” Cole winked at me.

  “Yeah,” Eric said at the same time I rushed to say:

  “No, it’s not a date.”

  Eric snapped his lips closed, looking betrayed. Great. I took a step toward Eric, creating distance between myself and Cole. What was he doing?

  “But that’s okay, Cole. I can get a ride from Eric.”

  “We live right by each other. And Eric, here, needs to get his brother. Right, man?” Cole did that thing again with his chin.

  “Yeah, man,” Eric responded trying to imitate Cole’s cool chin move, but instead he just looked like he had a weird tick. “It’s cool, though. I can take her home.”

  And suddenly, I was caught in a strange, alternate reality where Cole and Eric were engaged in some crazy alpha contest that was really no contest. Because there was no way Cole was ever going to be someone’s beta.

  Cole reached for my hand, sending thrills of awareness up my elbow and shoulder. Dang him! “Seriously, dude. I know what’s it’s like playing the sibling chauffeur. I have to run around all the time and pick up my sister. I can take Jo home, so you can go get your kid brother. No problem.”

  “Don’t I have a say in any of this?” I muttered under my breath.

  Cole just smiled and winked. Jerk.

  Poor Eric looked so conflicted. It did make sense for me to just go with Cole. Eric lived in the opposite direction from Pam’s and he still had to make a stop to get his brother. I put my hand on his sleeve.

  “It’s okay, Eric. Cole’s right. I live right across the street. It’s silly when he’s going that direction anyway. Go get your brother and I’ll talk to you later.” What was I saying? I didn’t want to go with Cole. Riding in the tiny, enclosed space of his car?

  “See, there you go. Come on, Jo. See ya later, Eric.” And then Cole was dragging me out of Pam’s.

  “Cole. Stop. Let go of me!” I must have had just the right amount of panic in my voice, because Cole immediately dropped my hand, his eyes wide and apologetic.

  “I’m sorry, Jo. I wasn’t thinking.”

  I shrank away from the tenderness in his voice. “No worries. Let’s just go.” I stalked to the passenger side door of Cole’s Camaro, with my head down, my eyes trained on the snow packed pavement. Cole rushed to my side, opening the door before I could do it myself.

  “Thanks.” I slid into the seat, instantly enveloped in the scent of him. Closing my eyes, I breathed deep.

  “Buckle up.” Cole’s voice startled me. My cheeks flushed, knowing he’d caught me. I couldn’t have been any more obvious, sitting there inhaling deeply.

  Cole

  I breathed in the scent of coconut in the confines of my beat up sportscar. It was heady. Joie dragged the seatbelt buckle across her body and leaned over the center console a little to lock it into place, inching closer to my personal space. This was such a mistake. Why had I offered to take her home?

  I could be parked on the hill making out with Brianna right now, but no, I blew her off (which I would pay for later) and made my way over to Joie instead. Just in time to hear that dipwad, Eric, say something about having to pick up his little brother. Chump.

  Sighing, I scrubbed my palms over my face. That wasn’t fair. Eric was a nice guy. I didn’t know him well, but he couldn’t be that bad if he was friends with Joie. It just… It just rubbed me the wrong way tonight, seeing her walk into Pam’s with him.

  I wasn’t jealous. No. I wasn’t. I was just looking out for an old friend. And that relief I felt when she denied that they were on a date? That was nothing, just residual protectiveness, right?

  “I’m all set,” Joie said, looking at me expectantly.

  “Right.” She still had the power to rattle me and it was annoying. I threw the car in reverse and backed out of the parking space. Eric still stood beside his vehicle, watching as we exited the parking lot, a forlorn expression of his face.

  I feel ya, buddy.

  I saluted with a two-finger wave and tried to ignore the big smile Joie offered him as we passed. Ugh. What was I doing? I still wasn’t over the pain of losing her three years ago, why was I opening myself up to that kind of hurt again? Why did she have to show up in my bedroom? Why did she have to show up every time I turned the corner at school? Then she shows up at Pam’s, what kind of joke was this? For three years, Joie has blended into the background of my life, living across the street, going to the same school, walking the same town. But it was like she wasn’t even there, like I somehow shut off the awareness of her. And it had been working just fine. That broken place in my heart- yeah, I just skirted right around it, pretended it wasn’t even there.

  And then she shows up in my room and now I can’t stop thinking about her, seeing her, wondering about her. And that broken place? I stumbled across it about every other minute. The questions from three years ago plagued me. What had I done to make her hate me? Why didn’t she want anything to do with me anymore? It was like one day all was right in my world and the next, I was being shoved into this parallel universe, a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. Where I knew Joie, where I knew how good it could be, but could never have her. And I didn’t know why.

  “Are you ever going to tell me what happened?” The words were out before I even knew I’d thought them.

  Joie fiddled with the zipper on her jacket. “What are you talking about?”

  I slammed my fist on the steering wheel, making Joie jump. I wanted to feel bad about that but didn’t. “Don’t play games with me. I agreed to your stupid play. You owe me.”

  We were in front of my house now. I pulled into my driveway. She could walk across the street. I didn’t turn off the engine yet, it was too cold.

  “You agreed to the play because we promised.” Her voice was as cold as the air outside. She sounded nothing like my best friend. Nothing like the little girl I’d loved since I was five.

  “I didn’t agree to the play because of some pact we made when we were ten, Joie,” I spat the words with all the anger and resentment I’d been harboring for the last three years.

  “Fine. Whatever. You agreed. And that’s that. I don’t owe you any explanations about anything.” Her hand rested on the lever to open the door.

  “So, it all meant nothing to you. I meant nothing to you.” It hurt more than it should have after all this time, but seeing her, talking to her, had somehow opened the floodgates of all the emotions I’d kept locked up for so long.

  “You know that’s not true, Cole,” she whispered.

  “I don’t know anything, because you won’t tell me.”

  “I better go. Thanks for the ride.” She pulled the handle and the door creaked open.

  “Go ahead, Jo. Run away. Escape. That’s what this is all about, right? USC. It’s so you can escape and not deal with it.” It was cruel, and I knew it, but I still couldn’t help it. She’d hurt me, and I had a sick desire to hurt her back.

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Her body hung, half in the car and half out, frozen.

  “Don’t I?” I’d come this far.

  “No, you don’t. So, don’t lecture me, Cole Parker, Mr. Perfect with the perfect family, perfect house, and perfect life!” She propelled the rest of her body out of my car and slammed the door shut with enough force to rattle my eardrums. Damn.

  Turning off the engine, I watched in the rearview mirror as she skirted around the house to the backyard. The anger whooshed out of me just like that. Why didn’t she go in the front? Opening
my car door, I slid out of the seat and leaned it forward to grab my gym bag out of the backseat, all with my eyes glued to her bedroom window, willing her light to flash on so I would know she made it inside.

  I watched until my cheeks and nose were numb. Still no light.

  Chapter 5

  Joie

  It was so cold. Why wouldn’t Cole just go inside? But I knew. Cole. Always trying to be my protector, even when he didn’t know why. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, he headed into his house. I waited a full five minutes after the door shut behind him before climbing out of my hiding spot behind the trash bins on the side of the house, thankful for the cover of darkness. Music drifted through the walls of the house and I knew my mom was having a party. There weren’t many cars on the street, but that didn’t mean anything. I knew from experience not to underestimate the addicted. They were a wily group.

  Slowly, I crept to my bedroom window and reached up to the sill until my hands rested on the rope ladder rolled up on it. Giving it a little tug, I waited until it was fully deployed before setting my foot on the bottom rung and climbing to the window. Using the flashlight on my phone, I shined the light into the room, checking for any unwanted visitors before going through all the way.

  Once inside, I turned on the light and checked the lock on the door. Satisfied it was still secure, I made my way to the closet. My heart beat in my chest as I pulled the string to turn on the light. Nothing. Going back to the window, I pulled up the ladder, rolling it again and positioning it on the sill. Then I closed the pane and locked it.

  I went through the motions, getting ready for bed. I put on my favorite pair of Cambridge High sweats and a basketball t-shirt (my one nod to my past relationship with Cole) and brushed my teeth with a bottle of water. I slid between the sheets on my bed and unwound the earbuds plugged into my cell. The music and voices were louder inside the house.

  Laughter right outside my door made me tense. I froze, poised to jump from my bed and run if I had to. Bodies thumped against the door. More laughter. A woman’s high-pitched giggling and the lower intonation of a man’s voice. I wanted to close my eyes, but I didn’t. Heart thumping, I got out of my bed and positioned my shoes, so I could slide into them easily and softly laid my backpack and coat on the desk where they were in reach.

  The laughing moved down the hall. Slowly, muscle by muscle, I relaxed. Inching quietly back into bed, I laid down and worked to control my breathing. I looked to the calendar pinned to the wall beside my bed. Tomorrow I would cross off another day with the red marker hanging from a string. Soon, this would be a distant memory. Cole could lecture me all he wanted about running away- escaping. He didn’t know as much as he thought he did. He didn’t even know the half.

  “Joie!”

  Thump! Thump! Thump!

  “Joie!”

  Opening my eyes slowly against the late morning sun, I forced my brain to focus. I’d been dreaming. Cole and I were playing hide and seek in his backyard. I was hiding, and he was seeking. Laughing quietly to myself, I watched from my hiding spot as he looked for me on the other side of the yard. Then, without warning, Cole became frantic, calling my name over and over as he looked for me everywhere except where I was.

  “Joie! I know you’re in there!” Thump! Thump! Thump! After banging on the door, my mom jiggled the knob. “Unlock this door!”

  Crap! Throwing back the covers, I leapt from my bed. I’d successfully avoided my mom for more than a month. The only reason she’d be banging on my door on a Saturday morning was because she’d run out of money. Slipping into my shoes, I flung open the window. First, I tossed my backpack and then my coat. Next was the ladder. I could make it out without the ladder, but it sure made it easier.

  “Hey, girlie. Looking for this?”

  It was Tattoo Man from the other morning. He was holding my backpack and jacket. Mom must have sent him to guard the window. A ribbon of fear slithered through my body. I could still hear mom pounding on my door. There was no one to help me.

  “Give that to me.” I lunged for my bag, but Tattoo Man yanked it out of reach.

  A sly grin curved his lips making me shiver. “Come and get it.”

  “Hey, Joie. You ready to go?” Cole. Relief flooded my body. I hadn’t even seen him walk up, but I’d never been so glad to see someone in my life.

  “She ain’t going nowhere.” Tattoo Man eyed Cole up and down. Cole was only an inch taller than the miscreant, but the guy had definitely suffered the ravages of substance abuse. He would be no match for Cole if push came to shove.

  Cole plucked my backpack and coat from the guy’s hands before he could even react. Without missing a beat, Cole slung it over his own shoulder and held the coat out to me, a challenging look in his eye. He didn’t need to worry. At this point I would have followed him to the moon.

  “Joie!”

  We were almost to Cole’s car when my mom poked her head out the front door. She wore a black satin robe, belted at the waist. Her blond hair hung limp around her shoulders and a lit cigarette dangled from her fingertips. Dark circles rimmed her eyes and her once smooth skin, wrinkled like a raisin on her face. It was a familiar sight to me, but I could have knocked Cole over with a feather, his shock was so complete. He stood with his mouth hanging open, one foot raised to take his next step. I gave him a little push.

  “What-” He glanced down at me, swallowing hard, his brows so low they almost hid his beautiful blue eyes. It was a shame. I loved his eyes. Without thinking, I reached up to smooth the wrinkle away. Cole flinched like I’d hit him.

  “Joie, you get back here!”

  My mom was standing half in and half out of the front doorway. Tattoo Man hadn’t moved from the lawn, his eyes flicked back and forth from me to mom and back again.

  “Joie?” Cole’s soft question reached my ears, the subtleness of it washed over me like a warm bath. Always Cole let me decide if I needed his help.

  “Please, Cole.”

  “Okay.” And that was it. Within seconds, I was safely seated in the front seat of his car and he was backing out of his driveway. I closed my eyes as we pulled away from my house and let my head fall to my knees.

  Cole

  I drove as fast as I could away from there, figuring I would text my mom as soon as I could stop somewhere to let her know where I was. I’d been taking out the garbage for her when I saw Joie launch herself out of her window and that weird guy holding her backpack. I didn’t realize there was something wrong until she reached for it and he held it away from her like a bully on the playground. I didn’t even stop to think, I just reacted, like muscle memory I couldn’t help but step in to save her.

  And those eyes. Those eyes that weren’t supposed to look haunted like that anymore. I knew they would be haunting me from now on. Glancing down, I almost couldn’t take my eyes off her brown hair. Her face, buried in her knees, was obscured by the chocolate strands. I’ve always loved Joie’s hair. When we were little, back when I was allowed to touch her, I would wind the strands through my fingers, threading them around and around. It seemed to relax her. Sometimes, especially if we were watching a movie or tv, she would fall asleep as I played with her hair.

  I gripped the steering wheel to keep my fingers from reaching for her.

  I drove for fifteen minutes without stopping until I finally pulled into a McDonald’s parking lot. Joie had pried her face out of her lap about ten minutes ago and put her glasses back on. Her eyes were dry, but her pajama pants were damp around her knees. I wanted to punch something. Instead, I pulled up to the drive-thru and ordered a couple of breakfast sandwiches and two hot chocolates. Parking at the back of the lot, I turned up the heater and we ate in silence. I wondered at the shift in my life over the last couple of days. The ripple from the day Joie knocked on my bedroom door was still dancing across my life. It was wonderful and awful at the same time.

  After finishing her sandwich, Joie crumpled the paper wrapper and stuffed it back in the bag. I
was already working on my second sandwich, but I waited until I finished before trying to talk to her.

  “You gonna tell me what that was all about?”

  Joie sighed and if possible, her shoulders drooped lower.

  “No.”

  “Jo-”

  “Do you think you could drop me off at work? I’m supposed to be there in a half hour and I need to change.”

  “Joie, what is going on at home? Your mom,” I blew out a breath. “She looked…”

  “It’s fine, Cole. You don’t need to worry about me. Sometimes mom parties too hard.” Truth. “It doesn’t happen that often.” Lie.

  Sitting motionless in the driver’s seat, I studied her. She could never lie to me. Something was terribly wrong. I haven’t been able to shake the feeling that something was off with Joie since last night watching her through the picture window in my parents living room. It was dark, but I’d seen her creeping out from behind the trash can in her driveway before climbing in her bedroom window. I’d barely slept all night and woke up earlier on a Saturday than I usually did on a school day. All because I’d been worried about her.

  “And that guy. Who was he?” He was scarier than the change in her mom. It made my blood run cold to know that man had been in her house.

  “Tattoo man. I don’t know. He showed up a couple mornings ago.” She straightened in her seat, her eyes fixed out the windshield. “Will you take me to work? Please.”

  With a sigh, I shifted into reverse and backed out of the parking space. Not sure where I heard it, but I knew Joie worked at an office not far from the McDonald’s. I pulled out of the parking lot and headed in that direction.

  “It’s South Bend Realty-”

  “I know where it is.” I don’t know why, but I wanted her to know I knew things about her even though she didn’t tell me anything anymore. I wanted her to know I still kept tabs on her or something.