Won’t Fall Again

by Liliana Rhodes

  “I know, but I’ve tried the main number several times and--”

  The line went dead. I threw the phone against the wall as I gritted my teeth. I had to try to get a hold of Tara. I didn’t want to think about what she might be thinking. I had to hope that she knew how much I loved her.

  Present Day

  At night, with the curtains drawn, every hotel room looked the same regardless of the location. They’re all boxes with furniture, no soul, no life. It was the little things that differentiated the places. The balcony view for example, or the listing of local restaurants. People thought traveling was fun and staying in hotels was great, but they’ve never done it like I have.

  For fifteen years I had wandered, hotel to hotel, a vagabond billionaire. The only thing that distinguished each place were the people I helped along the way. I saw it all the time, people down on their luck, willing to do anything to make ends meet. Part of it might have been my own loneliness, but helping to get them back on their feet made me feel like maybe my roaming wasn’t for nothing.

  I opened the drapes and let the sun spill into the main room. I had stayed at this hotel often and slept in this suite far too many times to count. It wasn’t home to me and for the first time in a long while, I thought I wanted one.

  Home meant a lot of different things to me. Home was in North Carolina where I grew up. It was with my father and mother. More importantly, it was with Tara. I knew that deep in my heart, but I was still angry with myself for giving up.

  Sliding my cell phone out of my pocket, I tapped on my father’s number. If I had to point to one good thing that happened in the past fifteen years, it was that my father and I became close. I wasn’t sure if it had anything to do with my mother leaving him, but with her gone, he became a new man.

  “Mason, I was just thinking about you,” Dad said. “Where are you now?”

  “I’m still in Canyon Cove.”

  “I spoke to that new assistant of yours. She’s a bit of a spitfire, isn’t she?”

  “Yes, she certainly has a mind of her own.”

  “Any chance that you and she...?”

  “No, Dad, it’s not like that at all.”

  “No? Is she cute? You know I could use an assistant. If you know what I mean.”

  “You are a dirty old man. You’re old enough to be her grandfather,” I said laughing.

  “So? Look at Hugh Hefner.” He laughed until he began to wheeze softly. “Seriously though, all you do is work. It’s no wonder you never got married, you never had time to meet anyone. For a while I thought that girl who worked here was it. What was her name again?”

  “Tara.”

  “Yes, Tara. I really liked her. Shame you let her get away. What happened between the two of you?”

  “I left for Germany.”

  “And?” he asked.

  “And nothing. I never came back.”

  No matter how many times I admitted it, saying those words never got easier. I sat on the couch and opened my laptop. As it booted up, the property I took Tara to appeared on the screen. It was still something I was considering. Canyon Cove was the perfect place to move Abernathy Ranch to. But there was more than just that. I realized that nothing would be a real home to me unless Tara was there, too.

  “Mason” Dad asked. “You still there?”

  “Yes, I’m still here.”

  “You still love her, don’t you?”

  “I do, but it’s more than that. I found her. She’s living here in Canyon Cove. Somehow life brought us back together again, but all I can think about is the time we lost.”

  “Then what are you doing yapping away with me? Son, not everyone gets a second chance at happiness.”

  “I’m not sure she feels the same way,” I said.

  “Then go and remind her.”

  Chapter Seven

  Tara

  After tossing and turning all night, I got up early and went straight to work. No matter what I did, I couldn’t stop thinking about Mason. I couldn’t ignore how I felt about him anymore. There was no doubt that I still loved him. I probably never stopped.

  I pulled my hair back into a low ponytail as I entered the stable. My favorite horse, a chestnut, snorted and nodded his head towards me.

  “You’re right, honey,” I said to the stallion. “We need to go for a ride. The fresh air will do us both good.”

  I saddled up the horse and rode him past the training area and through the fields to the tree line. As we followed a path through the trees, we reached a clearing that looked out at the rolling hills.

  The sun rose higher and gave the hills a golden glow as it cut through the chill of the morning air. Beneath me, the horse snorted again and stomped one of his hooves.

  “You’re thinking about him too, aren’t you?” I said as I patted the side of his neck. “Yes, I know you haven’t met him, but trust me, you’d love him too.”

  I turned the horse back towards the field. There was no point in getting some air if I was going to keep thinking about Mason. I might as well get to work.

  As I dismounted, the sun reflected off something and caught my eye. I repositioned myself and noticed it was coming from the hayloft. One of the stablehands took the horse’s reins from me.

  “Take care of him, I need to check on something,” I said.

  I yanked down the fold-up stairs that gave us access to the barn’s upper level. It was an area we rarely used, so I was curious what could be up there. As I climbed the steps, I noticed a couple of blankets and an empty bottle of wine. I smiled to myself as I let my memories take me back.

  Fifteen Years Ago

  After we got back from the Kentucky Derby, our relationship grew. We had always spent a lot of time together, but now things were different. I didn’t know if he felt it too, but somewhere along the way I had fallen in love with the man just a few months earlier I swore I hated.

  The setting sun cast shadows through the stables. Maddie and I were in the tack room cleaning up like we always did at the end of the day. Mason walked out of his office, tipped his hat towards me, and I smiled then looked down at the saddle I was polishing.

  “I saw that,” Maddie said.

  “Saw what?” I asked.

  “That look. Those looks I should say.” She grinned at me. “You didn’t think I was blind, did you?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Oh please, you are so into him. And I think he’s into you too. You never told me about the Derby.”

  “It was just like you’d imagine it to be.” I said, shrugging.

  “You know that’s not what I was asking about.”

  “Well in that case, you know I don’t kiss and tell.”

  “Do you do other stuff and tell?”

  “Shh! You never know who’s around,” I said, stretching my neck into the barn.

  “Like who? You just went away with his family.”

  “I don’t think his mother likes me.”

  “Iris Abernathy doesn’t like anyone. I wouldn’t worry about her, Mason has always been his own person.”

  “If you say so,” I said hesitantly. “I just can't help but think she’d do just about anything to get rid of me.”

  “You’re just being paranoid. That’s what you get for sleeping with your boss.”

  “I’m not sleeping with him,” I said, unable to stop myself from smiling.

  “You see, right there. Thank you very much! That was all the answer I needed,” Maddie said with a laugh. “I’m just glad to see you so happy.”

  “I am happy.”

  A loud crash made us jump. We ran out of the tack room and into the stable and found Rafa pinned to the ground by a large bale of hay.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  Maddie and I pushed the bale off him and he stood up, brushing himself off.

  “How the hell do you get the hay up there?” he said, pointing to the hayloft.

  “Oh no, we don’t use it for that,�
�� I said. “The smaller bales are stored in the back. Those big ones we keep in a separate barn.”

  “Sorry then, I put some smaller bales up there already. I figured I’d work up to the larger ones. I’ll get them down.”

  As Rafa took a step, he stumbled as his ankle gave way underneath him.

  “Oh no, wait. Sit down,” Maddie said “You’re hurt.”

  “Nah, I’ll be fine. I think it’s just sprained.”

  “You might’ve broken something. We have to get you to the doctor,” she said.

  “That’s a good idea, Maddie. Take Rafa to the main house and call the doctor. I’ll finish cleaning up around here and get those bales down before anyone else gets hurt,” I said.

  “You sure? Don’t you need to get home for your parents?”

  “I’ll ask Lucy if she can bring them dinner and check on them. Just get him to a doctor.”

  Rafa leaned on Maddie as they slowly walked down the path to the main house. With my arms folded, I turned and looked up towards the hayloft. I hated going up there.

  With my hands on either side of the pull-down stairs, I jiggled them to make sure it was secure. As I climbed the steep stairs, they creaked underneath me. The wood flexed as I stepped on it, making me want to turn around and leave the bales for someone else to take care of.

  “You shouldn’t be up there by yourself,” Mason said as he entered the stable.

  I jumped and spun around, almost losing my footing on the steps. Reaching over, I held onto the rickety railing.

  “You scared me,” I said. “I could’ve fallen.”

  “Again, that’s why you shouldn’t be up there by yourself.” He took his suit jacket off and hung it over a stall door. As he folded the long sleeves of his crisp white shirt, he sandwiched me between the steps and himself. “I ran into Maddie and Rafa just now, it’s bad enough he’s hurt. I don’t want you getting hurt too. I’ll bring them down.” He lifted me off the steps and set me on the ground.

  “What are you doing? I don’t need your help and I can move from the stairs on my own,” I said.

  “But you weren’t.” He climbed up the steps with ease then tossed a bale of hay down. “You wouldn’t believe the things that used to happen up here when I was younger.”

  “Up there?”

  “Yeah, my friends used to come over and we’d hide up here and drink, you know, hang out. Wouldn’t surprise me if there was still some empty bottles of beer up here.”

  “Did you bring girls up there?”

  Just the thought of him with another girl made me envious. It didn’t matter that I didn’t even know him back then.

  “If I said yes, would you be jealous?” he asked.

  I took a deep breath, not wanting to admit the truth, but then I figured why not?

  “I know it’s stupid, but yes, I would be,” I said.

  “That’s good. I’d be jealous if I heard about you with some guy up here.”

  He leaned over the edge and looked down at me with a big grin. I couldn’t help but think his dimples were mocking me.

  “So how many were there?” I asked, folding my arms in front of me.

  “How many what? Girls? Hundreds, maybe thousands.”

  “Thousands, huh? Seems like a lot considering you left when you were eighteen.”

  “Well, I knew this day would come. I knew one day I would be shoving hay bales down from up here and the woman I loved would be asking how many women I had been with. I needed a lot of practice, you know.”

  “With thousands of women?” I laughed. “How did you even have time.”

  “I had to double and triple up sometimes. We had flat-out orgies.” He laughed as he tossed down another bale.

  “Oh yeah? Orgies? And how old were you when this was happening?”

  “I don’t know, maybe ten or eleven.”

  I laughed. “You’re such a dork.”

  “What? You don’t believe me? I was quite the ladies man back then.”

  “Oh yeah, sure I believe you. Just like I believe in Santa Claus.”

  “What are you talking about? He’s real. He still brings me presents.”

  “I’m sure he does.”

  He leaned over the edge again. “You know, I always wanted to have a girl up here.”

  “Just one? Not hundreds or maybe thousands?”

  “No, just the one,” he said.

  The one?

  It took me by surprise. Did he mean that or did he say that by accident? Maybe I was hearing things.

  “Tara? You still there?”

  He leaned over again and as I looked up, our eyes met. My heart jerked in my chest like it did the first time we met.

  “I’m right here,” I said.

  “You okay? You got quiet.”

  “Oh yeah, I’m fine. I’m great. I was just...umm...thinking about things.”

  “It’s because I said the one, isn’t it?”

  “Oh? You said that? I didn’t notice.”

  He lay down on the floor and rested his chin on his hand as he looked down at me.

  “You noticed,” he said. “And I meant it. Now why don’t you bring that gorgeous ass of yours up here. I’ll show you how much fun it can be.”

  “I think you’re blackmailing me.”

  “Maybe. But don’t you want to come up here? All the bales are gone, it’s nice and empty up here. Well, except maybe for a few spiders.”

  “Spiders? No way. It doesn’t matter what you say, there’s no way I’m going up there now.”

  “How about if I told you I love you?”

  I stared at him, unable to speak. Did I hear him right? Was he bullshitting me? Would he bullshit me about that?

  “I delayed Germany again,” he said. “I have to get out there eventually, but right now there’s nothing more important than you.”

  “But I thought Germany was a limited time thing.”

  “It is until they find the right investor. I think I’m that guy. They’re doing some great progress with new building materials and everything, but honestly I don’t want to talk about any of that right now. I just want to talk about you. I love you. And I’m not leaving this loft until you tell me you love me too.”

  Instead of answering him, I took a deep breath and started climbing the stairs up to him. Mason was standing at the opening at the top, and I focused on him and not the creaking, wobbly steps. He put his hand out to me and I grabbed it quickly, as if I was reaching for a life preserver. His hand made me braver and as I made it up the steps, he pulled me into his arms and pressed his lips against mine.

  “Well? Are you ever going to say it?” he asked.

  After climbing those stairs, I was woozy and his kiss made me even loopier. I had no idea what he was talking about.

  “Hmm? Say what?”

  I closed my eyes and pointed my face up, hoping for another kiss.

  “Oh, I get it,” he said. “You just want me for my body.”

  My eyes flew up and there were those dimples again, teasing me. I blinked as I forced myself to focus on what he was saying, but all I could think about was falling through the floor.

  In the corner, where no one could see us if they entered the stable, Mason spread out some hay, sat down, then patted the ground next to him.

  I lowered myself to the floor, careful to not bump my head on the crossbeams from the pitched roof. Worried the loft was going to crack underneath us, I moved slowly. When it didn’t even creak, I leaned back on my elbows and relaxed a bit.

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” I said.

  “Then why can’t you say it?”

  “Say that I love you?” I asked. “You know I love you.”

  “Then if you love me, come to Germany with me,” he said. “You know I’ve been pushing it off so I can stay here with you, but this opportunity is really important to me.”

  “I know it is. I really don’t want to talk about this now though. I don't want to think about you leaving.”

  “Then
go with me.”

  He leaned closer and cupped my face with his hand. As his lips closed over mine, I leaned back further into the soft hay. I forgot about my fear of the hayloft and about Mason leaving for Germany. I let myself get lost in his kiss.

  Mason unbuttoned my shirt and his lips found that spot on my shoulder that always gave me goose bumps.

  “Tara?” Maddie called. “Tara? Are you in here?”

  I sat up and almost smacked my head against a crossbeam. Mason leaned on his elbow and put his finger up to his lips. Below, I heard Maddie’s boots shuffle against the floor.

  “Tara?” Maddie said. “Dammit, where is she? Maybe she went home.”

  As Maddie walked out of the stable, I buttoned my shirt back up.

  “I have to get out of here,” I whispered.

  “No, you don’t. She’ll be fine. It’s the end of the day, you’ll see her in the morning.”

  “What if Maddie sees that my car is still here and comes back? Or what if someone else comes looking for me and they find us up here?”

  “You worry too much. Who would they tell? I’m the manager, and I approve of us being here.”

  “What if they told your mother?”

  “Well, there went my hard on,” he said. He sighed and turned onto his back and put his hands behind his head. “Alright, get dressed, but you have to promise to meet me here again.

  I couldn’t help but smile as I pulled my clothes back on.

  “Sure, when?” I asked.

  “Tomorrow morning at ten. Maddie and Rafa will be training the horses then. No one will be looking for either one of us.”

  * * *

  The next morning at exactly ten o’clock, I checked the exercise ring and saw Maddie already hard at work. Rafa took the day off to rest his swollen ankle. I quickly walked into the stable and climbed to the hayloft.

  Sunflowers greeted me when I reached the top step. Mason stuck them into the clapboard gaps and positioned them into a pathway on the floor. Fresh hay was laid in the spot we were at yesterday. Mason was laying on a thick blanket on top of the makeshift bed.