Mr. Cooter's Bowling Ball

by Harper Harris

  “He did all that, did he?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, he dumped the body in Coot’s dump and just waited for the second part of his plan to fall into place. The only problem was,” I leaned in to whisper this part because I didn’t want air all of Gladys’ personal business, “that he got the wrong guy. He told me that he found out Gustavo was the one who was trying things. As far as I know, he hasn’t tried anything with him, though. You know, it was funny when his name kept popping up as I looked into things. I thought it was just a weird coincidence, but it turned out it was him. It all came together when I saw him go outside to smoke. There were cigarettes all around the back of the church, so I thought whoever did this might have been a smoker as well. It would be a really easy way to get Lonny all by himself.”

  Beau nodded.

  “That’s real good work there, Kari. Maybe you should join the force.”

  I smiled and waved off his compliment.

  At that moment, I heard a woman’s voice coming out from the crowd. Gladys came out to the front and saw her husband seated in the back of the Sheriff’s car.

  “What’s going on? Why is John in there?”

  I fully stood up and gave her a sympathetic look.

  “Um, he’s the one who killed Lonny. He found a note inviting you to the dance and thought something was going on.”

  Gladys gasped and covered her mouth. I could see the thoughts racing through her head. She probably had a million questions – and a lot of them must have been for John. The tears started to fall down her face and her body just deflated.

  “Are you sure?”

  I nodded.

  “He told me himself. He killed Lonny and framed Cooter for it.”

  It looked like there was a bit of a downside to finding the murderer – Gladys was going to have to deal with the fact that her husband was a bad person. He really took it much too far.

  “I don’t want to believe it, but I can’t say I’m totally surprise. I mean, I know how jealous he could get. I just thought we’d get a chance to work on it as a couple, make our relationship better. I just never imagined he’d kill someone over this. I always thought the world of him. Maybe that was what blinded me to just how bad it was.”

  It wasn’t just Gladys. I was sure no one saw John Goodstone as the killer. To everyone he was the mild-mannered painter who said very little.

  “Do you need help with anything?”

  I wasn’t sure if it was the time to leave her alone or be consistently with her. I didn’t know enough about how Gladys dealt with distressing news to know the right amount of space to give her.

  “No, I’m just going to follow the Sheriff to the station. I’m going to need a moment to talk to my husband.” Her face scrunched on the word ‘husband’ before she gave me a hug. “Thank you for everything. You’ve been a really good friend, Kari. I hope we can talk later.”

  “Of course,” I say as we break apart.

  Gladys walked away and to her car.

  “I’ve got to get this guy to the station,” Beau called over from his car. “Make sure to stop by so you can give a full statement. It doesn’t have to be tonight, but something within the next couple of days would be nice.”

  “No problem, Sheriff.”

  We waved goodbye to one another and then he took off once Gladys was ready to follow him back to Appleton. Coot would probably be out by tomorrow – my guess was he might be asleep by the time they got John processed and I didn’t think he’d mind one more night there.

  Ash came up to me after I was done talking with the Sheriff.

  “Well, that was unexpected,” she said.

  “What part?” I asked.

  “All of it. I still can’t believe quiet ol’ John Goodstone had so much anger in him. I mean, from what you told me of the crime scene, Lonny was beat up.”

  That was true. It just went to show that you could never know what was really going on with a person unless you deigned to actually look at them – like really look.

  “Yeah, I wonder what other secrets this town holds.”

  After the Sheriff left, people started filing back into the bowling alley. It seemed the dance wasn’t going to be cancelled just because a murderer was caught. Not that I had really expected that to happen. I just wasn’t very much in the dancing mood anymore.

  “Did you want to get back in there?”

  If Ash wanted to stay, I would since I was the one who kind of cut into her good time. I’d also dragged her along on so many of my clue scavenging hunts. I wanted to make sure she wasn’t having a miserable time. But she just shrugged.

  “I don’t think I’m much in the dancing spirit anymore. I think finding out your neighbor has killed people just takes it out of you.”

  I was happy we were on the same page. What I wanted to do was go home and hang out with our dogs. They could be asleep by the time we got back, but we could still snuggle.

  “Oh, I’m so glad you said that. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could stand being here.”

  We decided to go home, but that didn’t mean we’d get out there right away. First, Greg came by to talk a little.

  “Hey, Kari, Ashley.”

  His mom and her friends were also outside, but they were hanging out a little closer to the bowling alley, so I was sure they couldn’t hear us.

  “Greg, are you heading home?”

  He nodded.

  “Yeah, the crew’s done with dancing and I’m ready to head out. It got really interesting there in the end. I’m glad I was able to be of some help.”

  “Oh, what did you do?” Ash asked.

  I looked over at Greg and he motioned for me to explain.

  “He just came outside at the perfect moment and scared John away before things got too physical. And he let me use his phone to call the Sheriff – which reminds me, I’m going to need to get my phone fixed later since it broke.”

  I’d almost completely forgotten about my cracked screen. It was just another thing added to the list of things I would need to get later.

  “Oh, you didn’t tell me your phone was broken,” Greg said.

  I probably hadn’t when I had asked to use his. I just had so many thoughts running through my head and I was very much trying to focus on calling Beau and getting him to catch John.

  I reached into my pocket and pulled out the evidence.

  “Yeah, it fell to the ground when I kicked him in the knee. It was only a small hit, but it was enough to get him to the ground and drop my phone.”

  “You’ll have to show me your moves sometime,” Greg said.

  I furrowed my brow and smiled up at Greg. I wasn’t sure if he really wanted me to teach him how to fight or if he was making conversation. The thought of Greg trying to do a swing kick or any of the other defensive moves I knew was a bit entertaining and I would actually consider teaching him a thing or two.

  “Are you saying you want me to teach you some self-defense?”

  Greg blushed, something I noticed he was prone to doing. He wore his emotions all over his face.

  “I don’t know what I’m saying. I think I just find you very impressive and thought saying that might communicate that thought. It was dumb, wasn’t it?”

  It was my turn to blush. I wasn’t used to being complimented a lot. I did like it, but I was still a little sheepish.

  “It’s not dumb. Kari’s super impressive,” Ash added.

  I turned back to Greg and I was sure my face was completely red. If it was, his face mirrored mine. Greg cleared his throat which broke the tension slightly.

  “I should probably get going. My mom wanted to really get home.”

  He was about to leave, when I saw behind him that the ladies were coming over.

  “Looks like they’re all making their own way over,” I said while pointing at plantation crew.

  “Oh,” Greg replied quietly. Sylvia, Delilah, and Ginny got to our little group and Greg’s mom put her hand on his shoulder. “Hi, mom.”


  “Hello, son. We just wanted to see what you three were up to.”

  “We were just talking about things…”

  Greg seemed to be getting more and more uncomfortable with each passing moment. I didn’t think Ash’s comment could make him so antsy, but maybe he was just thinking about it and couldn’t get it out of his head. That’s happened to me before.

  “I was thanking him for being so helpful earlier,” I told the ladies. “He was a real hero.”

  “Oh! That’s lovely. Did he ask you to dinner yet?” Ginny asked.

  “Mom!” Greg almost shouted.

  Delilah and Sylvia just laughed, amused with Ginny’s faux pas.

  “Oh, did she say no?” she sounded so sad. “He really is a sweet boy. I understand if you don’t want to go on a date with him, but, as his mother, I do have to say he’d be a perfect gentleman. It’s how I raised him.”

  I didn’t know what to say, so I looked at Greg, wondering if he was going to ask me to dinner, but –

  “Well, I think we need to get going. It’s late and we’re probably all tired.” He put a hand on his mom’s shoulder and started moving her in the opposite direction. “Sorry, if I bothered you.”

  They were all leaving, but I didn’t want to have our conversation end like that, so I said, “You can call me later if you want! Ask me anything you want to ask me or whatever.”

  He smiled and nodded before walking away. I kind of hoped that he was going to call. A nice, simple dinner sounded like something I could use, and Greg was really easy to talk to.

  “That sounds interesting. If you two do end up going on that date. I want all the details. And when I say all, I mean every single last one. I will want the minutes.”

  I laughed. “I promise, you will be the first to know exactly what happens if anything ever happens.”

  I was ready to leave once again, trying to remember in which direction we parked the car. But there was another interruption.

  “Kari, Ashley – how did you ladies enjoy le dance?”

  The fact that we knew Gustavo’s accent was beyond fake, it was funny watching him having to keep up the façade. There were still other people outside, so it must have been necessary.

  “It was fun,” Ashley responded. “You’re a great dancer, Gustavo.”

  I had to admit that he was. I was more willing to believe his story of being run out of Akron, even if I felt like he had overdramatized the events.

  “Merci! You are a great dancer as well. If you ever want to dance with me again, I would simply adore it.”

  Was he flirting with Ashley? I may have just slightly warmed up to him, but that didn’t mean I liked him coming on to my friend. Plus, the woman he had just considered having an affair with just left because her husband killed a guy – so, bad timing, maybe? But, all that really mattered was whether or not Ashley was okay with it.

  “Oh, I don’t know. Why don’t we put a rain check on that and see what happens?” Ashley said and shrugged.

  Gustavo kept on his bright smile.

  “I very much look forward to this ‘rain check.’”

  Ash rolled her eyes and brought up her hand.

  “Sounds nice,” she replied as she bid him goodbye.

  He flitted away in whatever direction he needed to. I looked at my friend, trying to fully communicate that I wanted to continue talking about what just happened.

  “So, Gustavo, huh? What’s going on there?”

  Ashley shook her head.

  “Absolutely nothing. I think he got it in his head since we danced so well together that there might be something, but he’s a little too old for me, you know.”

  He did have at least ten years on us.

  “Plus, he’s lying to everyone in town about who he really is. I don’t think I could keep up with that all the time. I mean, every time I hear his fake French accent, I just want to laugh. It could never work.”

  That was that then. I looked around really quick to make sure that no one else was going to try and talk with us. I’d enjoyed the conversations, I just really wanted to get home. I had a lot to do.

  We finally got our butts into the car and I was the one driving us home.

  “Please no more of that EDM music. I had enough on the ride over.”

  I chuckled and responded, “Okay, no more EDM. We can just talk, if that’s fine.”

  I hadn’t actually planned on putting on EDM for the ride back. I was in a different mood and kind of just wanted to have less sound going on.

  “That would be nice. We should talk about John Goodstone. I can’t believe I never saw any of the signs. I was their neighbor for a while and the three of us would have lunches and dinners, sometimes go to church. Was I bad at seeing it? Was he good at hiding it?”

  We could sit here and wonder about whether or not we missed any obvious clues. There was nothing I had seen that I could remember sticking out to me.

  “Honestly, I think John was good at hiding it. He had this whole Bob Ross persona that none of us really saw past. And I don’t think Gladys really talked about it with anyone. I only found out about his jealousy by chance. I don’t think there was anyone who could have prevented this except for John.”

  What really got me about his confession to me was how little responsibility he took for any of it. Yeah, he admitted to doing it, but there was a lot of blame pushing. It seemed like he felt forced to do it, like there was no other way.

  “Did he seem sorry or anything when he told you what he did?”

  I shook my head. “Not really. The only remorse he had was that he got the wrong guy. I don’t think he was upset that Lonny was dead, more like he went to all that trouble and got it wrong.” At least now we could all be comforted in the fact that he wasn’t out on the streets anymore. “You know, Gladys has never cheated on him.”

  “I’d only assumed. And, even if she had, that didn’t give him the right to start murdering people. That’s why there are marriage counselors… or divorce,” Ashley observed.

  Gladys was a very beautiful woman and she was also extremely friendly. She just liked talking to people. And I believed the only reason she even considered stepping out on her husband was because he kept badgering her about it. It was his own paranoia that caused all this fallout. The only thing their marriage needed was his attention.

  “Well, that’s probably what’s going to happen now – Gladys will divorce or separate from him. She was about to a couple days ago, so this just gives her even more reason to.”

  I wouldn’t judge if she didn’t. I couldn’t tell her what to do, but I really did hope this was enough to make her leave him.

  “We’re going to need so much wine. We should invite her over for a girl’s night. I think she’d really like it.”

  Girl’s night was just Ash and I drinking wine and watching cheesy movies – some of the best nights of my life, actually.

  “I will, once things settle down with John.”

  We drove all the way back to Appleton and pulled into the driveway. When we got inside, Tammy was close to the door.

  “I saw you guys pulling in. I heard John Goodstone got arrested tonight. Is it true? Did he really murder Lonny?” I nodded. “Oh my god. I never would have guessed.”

  “That’s what I said, but apparently, he’s a psycho,” Ashley added.

  “I just hope the firm doesn’t end up representing him. That would be a mess,” Tammy commented.

  “Is that even possible since I was working on Cooter’s case? Wouldn’t that be a conflict of interest?”

  Tammy thought for a second.

  “I don’t think so as long as you don’t work on it. It would just end up being awkward, so I don’t think Mr. Winston will take it.”

  I hoped not. That would just be too weird for me.

  We said goodbye to Tammy and, when Ashley and I went to the living room, we found Shortbread and Biscotti asleep on a doggie bed. We usually had them up in our rooms, but we couldn’t wake them u
p when they looked so cute and peaceful.

  We called it a night right there and headed to sleep. There’d be a lot for me to deal with in the coming days.

  Epilogue

  It was a few days after everything went down at the bowling alley in Jasperville. Things were starting to get back to normal, somewhat. Cooter was being warmer than usual with the invitations to the dump – and by that, I mean, he was having a bit of a homecoming party. He had invited Ash and I and said we could bring the puppies.

  So, we were sat in a couple of seats by his trailer waiting for some barbeque. Coot also said it was a bit of a thank you as well. It seemed like the reality of the situation really dawned on him once I told him about how John had framed him. It took him a while, but he eventually got there, and I was happy to be getting some free barbeque out of it.

  “I still can’t believe you guys like this music so much.” Ashley was referring to the EDM that was pouring through the dump.

  “What can I say. I have particular tastes.”

  Ash and I were doing a bit of people watching since a whole lot of Cooter’s weird friends were there. It was a bunch of old guys with their own little eccentricities.

  “You know Cooter has some of the weirdest friends, right?”

  There were a couple of them grouped together playing some kind of game, but we couldn’t quite figure out exactly what they were doing. It involved dice, and playing cards, and pick-up sticks. I felt like even if we got them to explain, we still would have no idea what was going on.

  “Well, we’re his friends, so what does that say about us?”

  “That we’re weird. You like this noise masquerading as music and I have my oddities, that I know. I’m a Butler – none of us can simply be normal.”

  If Ashley was any indication, her family must have been a riot.

  “Also, I wanted to thank you for all your help in the investigation. I don’t think I would have ever figured it out without you.”

  She brought me so many valuable leads and just all around supported me every step of the way. She was the perfect roommate and friend.

  “Oh, I loved it! Honestly, I can’t wait for the next falsely accused murderer,” she joked.