Obsession With Murder

by Jenn Vakey

  “Why do you need it?” Rilynne asked, slightly amused at Elise’s livid state. “You already know the glass came from a vehicle. Do you really need it at this point, or do you just want to track it down out of spite?”

  “There’s always a chance with a piece of glass that we can find other dna,” she stated. “If it’s a big enough piece, we could also end up with a finger print. Or, we might be able to determine what vehicle it came from. The vehicle identification number can be etched into windows to help deter car thieves. It’s not on all vehicles, and the chances even if it was of getting the piece of glass that has it is small, but there’s always the possibility of learning exactly what car it came from. If it didn’t come from your car, it could lead us right to the person who hurt you.”

  Rilynne just nodded, not wanting to ask any more questions, despite having more in her head, and followed Elise out to the car.

  Elise was still fuming on the drive, so Rilynne just sat quietly back and looked out the window, trying to memorize the trip as they went. By the time they pulled into the driveway, she was ninety percent sure she would be able to find her way if she had to.

  After saying goodnight to Elise, Rilynne slowly climbed the stairs up to the house.

  “Dinners ready,” Amber stated when she walked in the front door. She hadn’t even managed to pull her shoes off before the strong smell swept past her.

  “You don’t have to keep cooking,” she said halfheartedly as she could almost taste the food on the air.

  When she rounded the corner into the kitchen, she found Amber heating tortillas on the stove.

  “I can’t take credit for this one,” she said, scooping something orange out of a plastic container sitting on the counter into one of the tortillas. “Katy made it and sent it back with me so we could have shredded chicken tacos. She said to give you her love, but that she didn’t want to crowd you until you were ready for company. There was also something in there about access to her girls if you felt babysitting might help at all.”

  Rilynne dropped down onto a barstool as she watched Amber assemble a second taco. “Katy,” she said, thinking back to everything she’d learned the past several days. “That’s Matthews’ wife, right? And Ben and I are the godparents of their twin girls?”

  Amber nodded and handed Rilynne the plate. “You can top them yourself,” she said. “I have everything cut up and ready for you. The sour cream is still in the fridge.”

  Rilynne loaded her tacos up before retreating to the living room.

  “I take it Matthews wasn’t able to get anywhere today with getting your memories back,” Amber stated, sitting down next to her. “Did anything seem to have any effect on you?”

  She shook her head. “I had some sensations, but nothing that I feel will help. Matthews stayed pretty optimistic, but I don’t think he has anything else to try. At this point, I don’t think anything is going to help other than just time. So instead of concentrating on getting my memories back, I’m just going to focus on working with what I have. I can worry about finding myself later; Ben’s more important.”

  Amber’s eyes were set on Rilynne’s face as she talked, as though she were studying her thoughts more than listening to what she was actually saying. By the time she spoke moments later, Rilynne was beyond just a little uncomfortable.

  “There’s something else,” Amber said. It wasn’t a question. “What’s going on?”

  Rilynne was shocked by her insight, though she wasn’t sure why. Both Amber and Elise had been able to successfully know where her thoughts had been turning, even before she did on occasion.

  She sat the half eaten taco down, knowing it was pointless to deny it at this point.

  “I was thinking about leaving,” she stated, avoiding meeting her mother’s gaze. “If we don’t find Ben in time, and I can’t get my memories back, I think I should sell the house and find somewhere else to life. A new city where no one knows me. That way I can just start over and reinvent myself instead of trying to fit into the life I had before. I also won’t have to see that look of sadness on the face of everyone I know. I honestly think that’s one of the hardest things about all of this, other than Ben being missing, of course.”

  Amber just nodded, either not knowing what to say or choosing not to voice it.

  The conversation for the rest of the evening centered on whatever they saw on the television, not the events of their lives. Although part of Rilynne felt guilty for wasting time that could have been used on the case, it was a nice change. For the first time since her walk down the hot streets, she actually felt like a normal person.

  * * *

  Rilynne was moving like she was on autopilot when she hopped out of bed the next morning. After brushing her teeth and pulling her hair back, she grabbed a pair of pants out of the drawer and pulled them on, followed by her shoes that sat on the floor next to the dresser. When she stepped out of her room, she was surprised not to see Amber standing in the kitchen. Not wanting to wake her if she was still sleeping, Rilynne let her feet carried her to the back door. It had barely closed behind her when she broke into a full run. She didn’t know where she was going, but that didn’t matter. She crossed through the tree line and followed the narrow path as it worked its way through the towering trees.

  “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

  “Nope,” Ben said with an almost pleased tone in his voice.

  “Do you even know where we’re going?” she asked hesitantly. “It’s too dark to really see the path beneath the trees. We’re going to get lost out here.”

  “If memory serves,” he said. “You’re the one who got us lost in these woods, not me.”

  “Ben,” she said, the woods around her coming back into focus. It wasn’t a flash; this was a memory. She could see it, but it was still clouded in a thick fog. She remembered being both sad and excited, though she couldn’t remember why. The important thing was, she remembered Ben.

  She kept running, hoping more than anything more would come. When her foot landed in a puddle moments later, causing her sock and shoe to become instantly soaked, the fog settled back in, accompanied by a soft roaring in her ears.

  “Maybe we should split up,” she said. “They aren’t after you. You can get away clean and head back in after a few days and say I left and you needed some time to yourself.”

  Ben stopped swimming and turned toward her. She had half expected him to be angry, but he wasn’t. Nor was he concerned or even considering that she might be right. Without saying a word, he slid his free hand around the back of her neck and pulled her in.

  When their lips met, she forgot everything going on around them. There was an intensity behind it like she had never felt before. Her chest tightened as a low groan rose up within her. By the time he pulled away from her, she could no longer picture herself being able to do any of this without him. He gave her a strength she wouldn’t have considered possible.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” he said, looking deeply into her eyes. “We’re in this together, no matter what happens.”

  “Why?” she asked, though she wasn’t displeased by his answer. “Why would you risk everything you have? They won’t hesitate to arrest you. Your career will be over.”

  He gently squeezed the hand he still had on the back of her neck as a smile like she had never seen snuck up on his face. “Because I love you,” he said sweetly.

  Rilynne gasped as it felt like she had been punched in the stomach. Simultaneously, she was hit with both a flood of overwhelming love and sorrow. She still couldn’t remember the details of their life together, but the love she had for him was strong within her. Nearly as strong was the deep sadness she was filled with at the possibility that she would never see him again.

  “I want more,” she said, pushing herself to run even faster. She didn’t pay attention to where she was going; it didn’t really matter. She could feel love flooding through her body, and she had to have more. It was like a drug.
“Give me more. I want more,” she said again.

  She tried to focus on that feeling, not wanting to lose it again. As the wind whipped past her face, she pleaded for it to take away the fog and give her back the life she had lost.

  Rilynne ran until the thick trees disappeared and she found herself in a clearing. The sight of it stopped her in her tracks. Moments later, she understood why. As she stared out at the large boulder in the middle, she was brought to her knees by a flood of memories. If felt like a bus hitting her as everything came rushing back at once. She remembered her childhood and her work on the force. Most importantly, she remembered her life with Ben.

  Chapter Eleven

  Her heart ached. As a tremble moved through her body, it was all she could do not to crumple from the pain. She forced herself to stand back up, but it was the hardest thing she had ever done. It felt like her heart had been ripped from her chest and was being squeezed and pulled in every direction at once. As the tears started building, she didn’t bother to try to stop them. It was a battle she had no chance of winning.

  Rilynne told herself she was only going to let herself feel it for five minutes. After that, she was going to push the anguish as far back as she could. It was the only way she would be able to do what she needed to do. No matter how deep the hurt went, there was more she needed to worry about.

  Rilynne let out a scream that seemed to spread through every inch of her body. As the immense pain poured out of her, it carried with it the strength she’d put into remaining upright. She hit the ground like a rock. When she did, she could feel it shaking violently beneath her. It seemed only fitting that an earthquake would hit Addison Valley when her world was already falling apart. She reached out for something to help her back to her feet, but quickly realized the world wasn’t shaking after all. It was her.

  She gave up on trying to stand and let herself fall back onto the cold ground. Her head was throbbing, but she didn’t care. She would gladly endure all of the pain she could if it meant getting Ben back. Without him, nothing mattered.

  “Where are you?” she closed her eyes and asked aloud, trying to recall the events of their last day together. As hard as she tried, though, they still weren’t there. “Come on. Just give me the rest of it. I just need to know what was happening. Why were we fighting? What was going on?”

  She closed her eyes and concentrated, hoping the last of it would come to her. As far as she could tell, the only thing still escaping her were the events leading up to the blow she took. She could remember the night before, but there was nothing between the time she went to bed that night and her walk to the hospital.

  She tried for another ten minutes to see something, either through a flash or a memory. Finally, she let out a frustrated yell and pushed herself up. “I’m going to find you,” she said, staring at the boulder. After making her promise, she turned around and started running back the way she had come. Her feet felt like they were on fire, but she couldn’t stop. She had already lost so much time. She pushed the pain aside and ran as fast as her body would allow, not stopping again until she reached the doors of the station.

  The moment the elevator doors opened to the third floor, Rilynne pushed through the people standing in front of her, almost knocking one woman to the ground, and hurried into the office.

  “Where’s my partner?” she asked when she nearly ran into LaShad in the doorway.

  It wasn’t the question, but the panic in her voice that seemed to shock him.

  “Evans?” he asked. “Are you back?”

  “I don’t have time for this,” she snapped abruptly. “Where’s Matthews?”

  He pointed her toward the conference room before calling out, “Matthews, she’s back!”

  Everyone turned and looked up at her, but she didn’t have time for their questions. She hurried through the office, ignoring everyone moving toward her, and stopped just feet from Matthews.

  “Tell me you have something.” It was an order, not a request.

  He looked like he wanted to reach out and hug her, but he just quickly shook his head. “We have every available body out searching vacant buildings and trying to track down your car, but there haven’t been any credible sightings yet. The dogs will be here in a matter of hours, though, so they should be able to trace your scent back to where you came from. What do you remember?”

  Rilynne felt like she had just downed ten cups of coffee. Every muscle in her body was fighting to move at once, making it very difficult to stand still. She quickly shook her head and shrugged, her whole body moving with the simultaneous gestures. “Nothing from that day,” she said, her heart racing in her chest. It was so loud that she was surprised he couldn’t hear it. “I know we were fighting about something, but I can’t get to it. There was something going on, though. Something that I told him he had to take care of, or I’d end up doing it myself. Whatever it was, it was serious enough for us actually to fight over. You know us; we never fight.”

  “I’ve had the guys talking to everyone he has had contact with over the last few months, but no one knew of any altercation he’d had,” he said. “You know Ben, though. He isn’t one for sharing personal stuff like that. You’d probably be the only person he told. Is there anyone you can think of who might have had it out for him? Or is there anyone who would have wanted to go after you, and Ben just happened to be there at the time?”

  Rilynne shook her head without needing to think it over. “No,” she said. She closed her eyes and dropped into the chair at her side. The key to this was going to be in what they were fighting over. She just needed to remember what it was.

  She heard Matthews sit down in the chair next to her, but she kept her eyes tightly closed. She concentrated on the things she had already seen, trying as hard as she could to retrieve even a little more. Moments later, quick flashes of light started to fill her head.

  A road sign warning of a curve ahead. The sun shining on an empty road. A cluster of trees surrounding her, as a wave of pain spread through her body.

  “How many spots are there on roads just outside the city with the signs of winding roads?” she asked. “You know, the ones that look like an ‘S’.”

  Matthews didn’t question her before jumping up and ripping the city map off the wall. When he spread it out on the table, he started running his finger down the main road into town.

  “There’s one right here,” he said, pointing to a spot near the city limit sign. “That’s several miles from the hospital, though. “It looks like there might be one over here, and on this road that leads out into the hills. Are you remembering something?”

  She nodded. “I think so. I just remember seeing the sign, then being surrounded by trees with my body aching. I’m not going to wait for the dogs. I’ll start looking around those spots and see if anything else comes to me. I’ll call you and let you know what I find.”

  Rilynne pushed her chair back and stood up as a wave of pain radiated up her legs. She cringed, but pushed it aside. She was afraid to let anyone see just how much she was hurting, fearing she would be ordered to sit back and wait while the others looked for Ben. It wasn’t something she would actually do, but it was a fight she didn’t want to waste time having. Before she could even take the first step, Matthews grabbed her arm and stopped her.

  “You’re not going out there by yourself,” he said. She was about to argue when he continued. “If someone grabbed him, you’re going to need backup. Besides, you’re still injured, whether you will admit it or not. You’re not even supposed to be driving. I’m going with you.”

  Rilynne just nodded as she let him help her out the door. It was something she wanted to do herself, not wanting to have to hide her efforts to have a flash if needed from him, but she knew he was right. The injuries covering her body prevented her from even walking smoothly. If Ben was being held by someone, or if she found him injured and unable to move, she wouldn’t be able to help him by herself. She needed Matthews.

  She w
aited at her desk for him to tell Wilcome where they were going. As soon as his back was to her, she reached in her drawer and pulled out her spare gun. She knew he wouldn’t approve, but she was going to do whatever she needed to do to get her husband back. She wasn’t going out unarmed.

  Rilynne ignored the pain pulsing through her feet as they walked down the hall and rode the elevator down. When they climbed into his car, she casually slid her shoe off and looked down. She didn’t even need to take her sock off to know that they were bad. Nearly the entire bottom of her white sock had been stained red with fresh blood.

  “How are you holding up?” he asked, backing quickly out of the parking spot.

  She looked out the window and gently shook her head. “I can’t think about it,” she said honestly. “Everything came back to me all at once, but I can’t let myself feel any of it right now. If I do, I’ll fall apart and that isn’t going to help us find him.”

  When he didn’t respond, she looked over and found him staring blankly at the road ahead. She knew why he was sitting in silence. Ben had been gone for five days now. Without a single trace of him since, he couldn’t help but think the worst. While she couldn’t blame him for letting his thoughts go there, she wouldn’t allow herself to do the same. She just couldn’t. She had personal experience with everyone being certain someone had died only to find out they were wrong. While Christopher was a unique situation, one she knew was nothing like what happened to Ben, it still gave her the hope she needed to push forward.

  “He’s not dead,” she said. She studied his face for a reaction, but he didn’t give one. After a few moments, she turned back toward the window. “I know he isn’t. I can feel it.”

  They drove past three of the road signs before Rilynne yelled for him to stop. Despite looking like the others, the sign in front of her was the one she was looking for. She just knew it.