Koalaland or The Great Koala Novel - Volume I: The Making of a Kingdom

by David Bolton

  Part II - Prelude to Monarchy

  How it all began

  (Four months earlier: Mid-winter)

  Mr. Johnson’s Land Rover slowly made its way over the rough terrain of the territory to the south of the three groves. He was heading for Koalaville to bring the koalas there several books they had requested, and of course, to engage in some pleasant conversation with a few of the furry friends he had there.

  Decades earlier, when the humans had finally officially recognized Koalaland as a protected reservation, and had granted it the right to full autonomy, the koalas had at once decided that no humans would be permitted to enter their territory.

  Yet old Mr. Johnson was an exception. He had been a true friend for years, and had always kept the koalas informed about what was going on in Humanland, especially as far as any political decisions which could potentially affect Koalaland were concerned. He had also provided them with many books, from which they had been able to expand their knowledge of areas both practical as well as theoretical. They knew they could trust him, and he himself, now in the twilight of life, took great pleasure in conversing with his little friends about subjects as diverse as philosophy, medicine, how to build a good tree house, and which type of eucalyptus leaf was the tastiest – though he himself was not at liberty to enjoy them, since they were poisonous to humans.

  Though the koalas generally abhorred the human vehicles called “cars,” they were in fact happy when they saw Mr. Johnson’s Land Rover coming, for they knew he would be bringing them something of interest. Thus it was today. In addition to a number of books, he was also bringing a newspaper. Judge Grandaddy had expressed an interest in the concept of a paper that reported what had happened the day before. He couldn’t imagine that there could be many things to talk about, for how much can happen in a single day?

  The Land Rover pulled up to the southernmost tree of Koalaville, and Mr. Johnson, white-haired and lean, yet seemingly quite fit for a man his age, opened the door and got out.

  “Hello, Grandaddy! And Doctor Koala, I didn’t see you the last time I was here!”

  “Hello, Mr. Johnson,” they both replied almost simultaneously, after which Doctor Koala continued. “Yes, that’s right. The last time you were here they needed me over in Koalatown. A drunken wretch had fallen out of his tree and broken an arm. Some koalas will never learn, it seems.”

  “Well, I’m glad to see you both now. How is everything here in the grove?”

  “Nothing much new, I suppose,” Grandaddy said. “A stray boar appeared up at the northern end the other day. Seems he got lost and walked all the way from Boar Forest over here. When he entered Koalaville and saw how scared the koalas were of him, he got a bit frisky, and amused himself by chasing a few up their trees. Nobody hurt, though. Handy and a couple of his friends got on their emus and chased the boar back into the forest, and we haven’t heard from him since. Must have found his way home.”

  “That’s just the sort of story that would be in a newspaper, if you had one here. Do you remember me telling you about newspapers, Grandaddy?” Mr. Johnson asked. “I’ve brought one along to show it to you.”

  “Why, that’s very nice of you. Here, I’ll spread out a blanket next to the table.” Grandaddy would have liked to offer him a chair, but the koalas’ chairs were much too small for him.

  Mr. Johnson sat down cross-legged on the blanket in front of the table. When Grandaddy and Doctor Koala took their seats as well, he placed the newspaper in front of them.

  “Here it is. All the news from the other day.”

  “Mmmm,” Doctor Koala muttered while surveying the front page. “An accident… political corruption… a house torn down by mistake... Don’t the humans ever print good news in their paper?”

  “Well,” Mr. Johnson laughed, “not very often. People seem to want to read the bad stuff more than the good.”

  “Not the sign of a very healthy society, if you ask me,” Doctor Koala replied a bit haughtily as he turned from one page to the next. “Mmm, what is this? Mathematics?”

  Mr. Johnson looked down at the paper. “Oh, no, that’s the lottery.”

  “Lot of what?” asked Grandaddy, puzzled.

  “Not a lot of something… lottery. It’s a kind of game. If you’re lucky enough to win, you get a huge amount of money,” the old man explained.

  “Oh, yes, money. You told us about that a few months ago,” Grandaddy said. “If I remember correctly, it’s some kind of metal or paper that can be exchanged for things of real value.”

  “That’s about right,” Mr. Johnson answered.

  “Just how much of this money do you get if you win?” Doctor Koala wanted to know.

  “Oh, it could be millions. Enough to live comfortably for the rest of your life.”

  “But we are already living comfortably, aren’t we, Doctor Koala?” Grandaddy remarked.

  “I would say so, absolutely,” the doctor replied. “How do you play this game, anyway?”

  “Oh, well, you have to pick six numbers out of forty-nine,” Mr. Johnson explained.

  “Which six numbers?” Grandaddy asked.

  “Any six you want. Then, on Saturday evening, the state picks six numbers. If your six numbers match those the state has picked, you win the grand prize.”

  “Hmmm, sounds simple enough. Maybe we should give it a try,” Doctor Koala suggested. “Oh… but I’m reading here that you have to pay a dollar to play. I guess that rules us out. There isn’t a single one of these dollars in the whole grove.”

  “Why, that’s no problem,” Mr. Johnson said, reaching into his shirt pocket. Here – here’s a dollar for you.”

  “Oh, we couldn’t accept that,” Grandaddy held up his hand in refusal.

  “But of course you can. It’s not much money at all,” Mr. Johnson insisted.

  “Well, but we have to pay it back to you somehow. What can we offer you?” Doctor Koala asked.

  “Forget it. Consider it a little gift,” Mr Johnson smiled. “Oh, but of course, if you want to play, you’ll have to pick out your numbers. Hey, I’ve got an idea. I have to go to the city on Friday. How about if I stop by here first, and pick you up. Then we can all go into the city together, and buy the lottery ticket.”

  “Why, that’s kind of you, Mr. Johnson, very kind indeed,” Grandaddy responded, “but the truth is, I have no desire to go to that Human City. Too much stress and noise, you said so yourself. Maybe Doctor Koala here would like to…”

  “No, not I. I have patients to care for. But I’ll bet some koala or another would love to go along with you. How about if I ask around? Would that be acceptable, sir?”

  “Just fine!” Mr Johnson answered. “I’ll stop by at, say, nine am on Friday. Will that be okay?”

  “Of course,” Grandaddy said. We’ll have those numbers picked out by then. Oh, but if nobody wants to go along, do you suppose that you could buy that ticket for us?”

  “No problem,” Mr Johnson replied. “But as I said, I’d be glad to show somebody around the city, or even a few of you. I can fit five or six koalas in my Land Rover.”

  “Well, we’ll certainly ask around,” Doctor Koala promised.

  The conversation then turned to other topics, and a little later, Sticky, another member of the Council, though obviously younger than the judge and the physician, stopped by to join the chat. Mint tea was served, and a little dish of select walnuts and almonds was put on the table for Mr. Johnson to enjoy, the koalas preferring to eat leaves on this occasion. It was early evening before the human said his good-byes, got into his vehicle and drove off.

  “Hmm, about that game,” said Grandaddy to his two friends. “What numbers do you think we should pick?”

  “I have no idea,” Sticky replied. “Perhaps tomorrow we should ask some other koalas for their opinion. Maybe somebody will have an idea of what our lucky numbers might be.”

  “Well, from what Mr. Johnson was telling us, the chances of winning are extremely
slim, and I don’t see any way we could cheat,” Doctor Koala joked.

  “Why, you old scoundrel!” Grandaddy exclaimed. “The first thing that comes to your mind is how to cheat! That may just explain how you won five games out of six yesterday when we were playing cards.”

  Sticky laughed. “Oh, come on now, Judge. Doctor Koala is no cheater!”

  “No, I’m not. But if I could cheat those humans, I might just do it for the fun of it, to show them they aren’t as smart as they think. Except for Mr. Johnson, of course. He’s a fine creature, to be sure. Friendly, honest, always willing to help. The world needs more humans like that, I say.”

  “You’ve got a point there. He is a nice man,” Grandaddy agreed, then yawned. “Time for me to get some sleep. First thing tomorrow, I’m going to take a walk around the grove and ask every koala I see what his or her favorite number is. Maybe we’ll see a tendency to go for the same numbers, and then we’ll play those.”

  “Sounds like a good idea,” Sticky replied. “I might just do the same thing. It’s always nice to win a game.”

  A Question of Numbers

  The following morning, Doctor Koala was seated at a table in the little shack at the base of his tree where he received patients every day before noon. He was applying a salve to a bruise on the elbow of a female who had had a mild fall.

  “That should make it feel better. Make sure you don’t rub it off before it can take effect, Muffy.”

  “Oh, I’ll be careful, Doctor. I don’t know how I didn’t see that stone in the path. I was hurrying to get some cloth over to my tree so I could start to cut out the pattern for a new pair of overalls that somebody ordered, and I, well, I guess I just wasn’t looking where I was walking, and then my foot hit that rock, and…”

  “Yeah, yeah, you told me already,” Doctor Koala interrupted her. “Just be more careful the next time. Oh, Muffy, before you go, let me ask you something.”

  “What is it?”

  “If I were to ask you to pick a really lucky number, what would you say?”

  “Why, I think I’d say 192.”

  “192? Now that’s a strange number. Why in the world would you choose 192?”

  “Well, it’s kind of private…”

  “Listen, I’m your physician, you can tell me,” Doctor Koala tried to persuade her.

  “Okay, today it’s been exactly 192 days since I first met Hatchy, you see. Oh, not that’s it’s anything really serious, we take a walk together occasionally, that’s about all. He’s such a gentlekoala, so polite and considerate. And brave! Imagine, going up to that forest every day to look for bee hives to get the honey! Why, they could all sting him and kill him some day!”

  “Don’t worry about that. Whenever I see him going up there, he always has his special suit with him, with that hood and the netted face mask. After that one time when two bees stung him in the nose and it swelled up like a balloon, I think he learned his lesson,” Doctor Koala laughed. “He won’t be getting close to bees anymore without protection.”

  “Oh, I guess you’re right. Doctor Koala, you’ve known him longer than I have. Do you think he’ll ever seriously think about settling down, maybe starting a family…”

  “Well, Muffy,” the Doctor replied with a smile, “that’s up to him, of course, but I will tell you one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  Doctor Koala leaned a little closer to her, his tone of voice becoming a bit softer. “If I’m the keen observer I think I am, then I can tell you that if he ever does want to get married, it would be you whom he’ll ask.”

  “Oh, my! Do you really think so? But where did you get that idea, did he tell you himself?”

  “Enough questions about that! Let’s just say a doctor hears things others don’t, that’s all. Oh, about that number, 192. What I need is a number between 1 and 49. 192 is too high.”

  “Oh, well then, how about…” Muffy paused, counting on the fingers of both hands, “12. Yes, 12 is a good number.”

  “And why 12?” Doctor Koala queried.

  “Oh, well, if I start with 192, then 1 plus 9 plus 2 equals 12.”

  “I see. Okay, 12 it is! Thank you, Muffy. And check back with me if that elbow is still sore in three or four days.”

  “Fine, Doctor. And thank you so much. Bye!” called Muffy as she walked away and headed for her tree.

  “Let’s see…” the medicine koala muttered as he studied a piece of paper in front of him, “I’ve asked eleven koalas this morning, but only two of the numbers have repeated… 33 and 2. I wonder what Grandaddy and Sticky have come up with?”

  Glancing out the window at the sundial on the ground some yards away from his tree, he thought to himself, “I guess it’s time to visit Claire and see if those liver pains of hers have subsided. Mmmm... She was always quite intuitive. Maybe she will be able to pick a few good numbers.”