Such Great Heights

by Sydney Logan

Angel bounces. “Ooh, can we go—”

  “No!” Dana and I yell in unison.

  After our all-day shopping spree, veggie soup just wasn’t gonna cut it.

  “You’re quiet,” Dana said. “I don’t like it when you’re quiet.”

  With a sigh, I toss my half-eaten slice of pepperoni back into the box. Angel had ditched us already, choosing her vegan waiter/piano man over her two best friends, leaving us alone at Dana’s apartment. Not that we mind. It’s nice to see Angel happy.

  “Quiet’s not a bad thing, Dana.”

  “It can be, if it means you’re all in your head, feeding your insecurities and worrying about things that aren’t important at all. You’re nervous about the benefit ball, aren’t you?”

  “A little, yes.”

  “Why?”

  “Fancy family event. Tall, strappy heels.”

  “We can find different shoes,” she says. “And my parents already think you’re an angel sent from heaven. There. Problem solved. What else?”

  I grab a throw pillow off the couch and hug it to my chest.

  “I’ve been thinking about what you said . . . about the fact that Jackson wanted to take me to the benefit. Is this a date? Like, a date date?

  “Well, yes . . .” Dana gazes at me curiously. “Don’t you want it to be a date?”

  “He’s a married man.”

  “Who has been separated for months.”

  “But they’re still married.”

  “Only because she’s dragging her feet and my brother wasn’t smart enough to make the gold-digging tramp sign a prenup. He’s a lawyer. You’d think he’d know better. But love makes you blind. And stupid.” Dana sighs heavily. “All I know is she better not show her face at the benefit.”

  My eyes widen. I didn’t even know that was a possibility.

  “She wouldn’t. Would she?”

  Dana shrugs. “Her rich boyfriend likes to make public appearances for good causes. I think she’d be crazy to show up, considering Dad’s firm is hosting the event, but I can’t promise she won’t be there.”

  Great. Like I need something else to worry about.

  “But it doesn’t matter, Liv. Their marriage is over. Besides, it’s just a date. One night at a fancy black tie event. It’s not like you’re hooking up with my brother. I mean, unless you want to. I bet he wouldn’t say no.”

  “Stop it.”

  Dana grins. “I’m just saying . . .”

  “We can’t. Even if he was single.”

  “Why not?”

  “What if it didn’t work out? Ryder would need another nanny. I would need another job. Why confuse things?”

  Dana nods thoughtfully. “All good points.”

  “Thank you.”

  She sighs heavily. “I wish I’d known this was how you felt before we went shopping.”

  “Why?”

  “If you don’t want my brother having impure thoughts about you all night long, we really should’ve bought you a different dress.”

  She laughs loudly, and I toss the throw pillow at her head.

  “Daddy, you said a bad word.”

  My son doesn’t know it, but I’ve cursed plenty in the past twenty minutes. That’s how long I’ve been standing in front of this full-length mirror, struggling with this stupid bowtie. A tie that I’ve tied a thousand times before.

  “Sorry, buddy. Daddy’s just frustrated.”

  Ryder climbs on the bed and lays down in the sea of pillows. Natasha loved big, ornate pillows. I hate them. I don’t know why I haven’t burned them by now.

  “Hazel says you’re nervous. That’s why you keep saying bad words.”

  Hazel knows me all too well.

  “Are you scared?” he asks.

  “I’m a little nervous, yes.”

  “Why, Daddy? She’s not Mommy. ‘Livia doesn’t care if your tie’s crooked.”

  My fingers freeze on the tie as I lock eyes with my son in the mirror, marveling at his wisdom. Regardless of our messy marriage, Natasha demanded our lives at least appear perfect to the outside world. I tried to keep her happy—and quiet—by making sure she had nothing to complain about. It rarely worked, but I tried.

  My son’s right. Olivia doesn’t care if my tie’s crooked.

  But I’m not nervous about the tie.

  I join him on the bed. “You’re sure you’re okay with me borrowing Olivia for the night?”

  “It’s okay. Dr. Jane says you and Olivia need grown-up time.”

  God bless Dr. Jane. She’s really worked wonders with him.

  “Will you dance at the party?” he asks.

  “I hope so.”

  Honestly, I’ve thought about nothing but dancing with her since I’d finally found the courage to invite her to the benefit.

  “She looks really pretty.”

  “You’ve seen her?”

  “She’s in the living room. Finally. Girls sure do take a long time to get ready.”

  I laugh and hug him tight. “Yeah, but it’s worth it. Come on. Let’s see if Hazel can fix my tie.”

  As Ryder and I walk toward the living room, I mentally prepare myself for the night. I haven’t enjoyed the benefit in years, but tonight’s different. I don’t have to worry about my wife embarrassing me or causing a scene. I can relax and have a good time with an incredible woman who’s been nothing short of a miracle in our lives. I deserve it. Olivia deserves it. But she also deserves to be treated like a lady.

  I will be a gentleman tonight.

  Then I see her, standing next to the piano and gazing out the window. And in an instant, all my chivalrous thoughts are gone.

  Olivia’s always gorgeous. But tonight, in this red evening gown with her long blonde hair cascading down her back, I know I’ve never seen anyone so beautiful.

  “Told ya she was pretty,” Ryder whispers.

  “You were right.”

  Olivia turns then, and when her deep green eyes lock with mine, she smiles the most breathtaking smile I’ve ever seen.

  Ryder tugs on my hand. “Say hi, Daddy.”

  I clear my throat. “Hi.”

  “Hi.”

  “You look amazing, Olivia.”

  “Thank you. Need some help?”

  I frown.

  “With your tie?”

  “Oh. Yeah. If you don’t mind.”

  My breath hitches as she slowly walks over to us.

  “Did my sister pick those heels?”

  “Yes. And I’m going to kill her.”

  “I’m gonna buy her a car.”

  A faint blush creeps across her cheeks as she fixes my tie. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Hazel watching us with a wistful smile.

  “There you go,” Olivia says softly. My entire body trembles when her fingers gently graze the lapel of my tux.

  “Thank you.”

  She smiles down at the little boy standing between us.

  “Do you promise to be a good boy for Hazel tonight?”

  Ryder nods. “Will you dance with Daddy? He wants you to.”

  I stifle a groan. Hazel chuckles.

  “I’d love to dance with your daddy tonight,” she says, leaning down to kiss his cheek.

  He starts to kiss her back, but he hesitates, and I know why. Natasha was rarely affectionate, but when she was all dressed up, she absolutely refused—too afraid he’d smear her makeup or wrinkle her dress.

  “Can I kiss you back?” Ryder asks quietly.

  “You’d better. I’m gonna miss you tonight, so I definitely need a kiss from my favorite boy.”

  “I’m your favorite boy?”

  “My very favorite.”

  With the biggest smile I’ve ever seen stretched across his face, Ryder leans in and gently kisses her cheek. Hazel stifles a quiet sob before quickly heading to the kitchen.

  I ruffle his hair. “Be good for Hazel. We’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  He runs toward the kitchen, leaving me alone with my
date.

  My date.

  It’s been a long time since I’ve had one of those.

  I offer Olivia my hand.

  “Are you ready?”

  She smiles sweetly and laces her fingers with mine.

  “I am.”

  “I know it’s for a good cause, but I hate wearing a tux,” Marcus says.

  Grunting in agreement, I push my plate aside and grab another glass of wine. Marcus Tucker’s been a good friend since the day we both joined Dad’s firm. Fresh out of law school and desperate to make a name for ourselves, we competed for the best cases and the most billable hours. Today, we’re both partners at the firm.

  And, now, he’s my divorce attorney.

  Marcus also has the hots for my sister. The same sister who ripped my date out of my arms as soon as we walked into the hotel ballroom.

  I glance over at Olivia, who’s sandwiched at the end of the table between Dana and my mother. She’s been the center of attention all night. I thought my parents were going to drop to their knees and worship at her feet when I introduced her as Ryder’s nanny. Naturally, I’ve kept them updated on his amazing progress, and the grateful grandparents have spent the evening lavishing Olivia with praise.

  And she deserves it. Every single bit of it.

  But don’t they know I want to dance with her?

  “You’ve got it bad for the nanny, huh?” Marcus asks.

  That’s when inspiration strikes.

  “Why don’t you ask my sister to dance?”

  He shoots me a glare. “Why would I do that? You know I can’t dance.”

  “But, if you dance with my sister, maybe I can drag Olivia away from my mother so that I can dance with her.”

  His eyes grow wide. “You want to dance with your mother?”

  “No, you idiot. I want to dance with Olivia.”

  He chuckles. “No, you don’t. You want to do a lot of things with that gorgeous girl, but dancing’s not one of them.”

  “It’s not like that, Marcus.”

  “Please. You haven’t been able to keep your eyes off her all night.”

  Just then, one of the firm’s newest interns stops by the table to say hello to Dad. When he spots Olivia, he ignores my father completely and offers her his hand. Irrational jealousy rips through me until Olivia nods in my direction. The intern notices me, and I take great satisfaction in watching his face pale before nodding politely and skulking away.

  Marcus groans. “I feel like I’m at the freaking prom. Go dance with that girl.”

  With a firm nod, I down my drink before making my way to the end of the table.

  “Jackson!” My mother smiles from ear to ear. “Are you enjoying the party?”

  “I will be . . . just as soon as Olivia dances with me.”

  Her face flushes when I offer her my hand. Ignoring the sly grins of my sister and my mom, I lead Olivia to a quiet corner of the dance floor.

  “Took you long enough,” she says, her eyes sparkling.

  I chuckle and pull her close. “Sorry. Did my mother talk you to death?”

  “Not at all. She’s very sweet.”

  I nod.

  “Ryder will be glad to hear that we kept our promise,” she says.

  “I know. I thought I’d missed my chance when that intern asked you to dance.”

  “I told him no.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m here with you.”

  “That didn’t used to stop . . .”

  My ex-wife.

  I bow my head, ashamed that I even thought of her.

  Olivia gently places her hand against my cheek and lifts my face to hers.

  “I’m not Natasha.”

  “I know.”

  “Dana told me how she used to get drunk and flirt with the other lawyers. I would never do that.”

  “We’re not married, Olivia. You’re free to dance with whomever you like.”

  “I know, but I wouldn’t. Because I’m here with you.”

  The song changes to a softer tune, and our bodies instinctively drift closer. Olivia’s body presses against me, causing us both to sigh softly.

  Have I really been this starved for affection? This desperate for a woman’s touch?

  Overwhelmed and caught up in the moment, I slide my fingers along her cheek, gently cupping her face in my hand. Closing her eyes, Olivia leans into my touch as our bodies continue to sway to the rhythm of the music. It would be so easy to lean in . . . to let my lips brush against her cheek.

  So I do.

  Olivia trembles as my breath creeps across her face. I softly kiss her cheek, tightening my hold around her waist as her arms wrap around me. All I have to do is turn my head, just a little. That’s all it would take to finally have her lips on mine.

  “Jackson,” she whispers, her voice pleading and breathless.

  As I gaze into her deep green eyes, I see the battle that rages there, and I know it matches my own. We’re so afraid to give in, to finally stop denying ourselves what we truly want. But we both know there’s far more at stake than just our hearts.

  There’s Ryder.

  We can’t be selfish.

  It’s just a kiss, Jackson.

  Just a kiss.

  Is there really any such thing as just a kiss?

  Then someone coughs behind me, and instantly, the spell is broken. Olivia’s eyes grow wide as she focuses on the man standing there.

  I’d know that fake cough anywhere.

  “Son,” my father says quietly, “your mother wants you to know that we approve very much, but perhaps the two of you would like to go somewhere a bit more private.”

  I clear my throat. “Of course.”

  “We’re headed home. Why don’t you go say goodbye to your mother?” he says with a twinkle in his eye. “But before we go, Olivia, I wonder if you would consider dancing with an old man?”

  “Dad . . .” I start to protest, but he simply gives me a smile.

  “You get to take her home, son.”

  Oh, yeah.

  Content with that knowledge, I smile and step back, giving him the chance to cut in. Olivia laughs and offers my father her hand.

  “Well,” she says with a beautiful smile, “I don’t see any old men, but I’d love to dance with you, Mr. Healey.”

  I smirk as I watch my beaming father steal my date and lead her to the dance floor.

  “This is a pleasure, Olivia,” Mr. Healey says as we dance. “What do you think of our little benefit?”

  I take in my gorgeous surroundings. The ballroom sparkles with chandeliers and tapered candles, and the round tables are draped with red and gold. The men are wearing tuxedos, the women are dressed for the Oscars, and I couldn’t feel more out of place. But everyone has made me feel so welcome, especially Jackson’s family.

  “I’m not sure little is how I’d describe it, but I’ve had a wonderful time. And the children’s hospital is such a worthy cause.”

  Mr. Healey nods. “We think so, too. Especially now that we’re grandparents. We love our kids, of course. But there’s just something about grandchildren.”

  “I understand.”

  He smiles. “I know you do. Teaching . . . what a noble profession. Underpaid and unappreciated, but noble. I’m sure you were expecting to have a classroom full of kids this year. I hope being Ryder’s nanny isn’t a disappointment.”

  “I love him.” My voice is firm. A little too firm. I wince immediately.

  His face softens. “Forgive me. I didn’t mean to suggest otherwise. It’s obvious to all of us that you are devoted and wonderful.”

  I sigh softly and continue to move my feet.

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Healey.”

  “Don’t be. In that moment you showed more affection for my grandson than I ever witnessed from his mother.” He looks toward the family table, where Jackson and his mother sit. “I’m sorry. I know Jackson doesn’t like it when we mention her.”

  “I don’t mind. Of course,
I’ve had the good fortune of never meeting her.”

  Mr. Healey laughs. “No wonder my son adores you. And he’s having a very hard time hiding it tonight.”

  Were we causing a scene? At a children’s benefit? That would be mortifying.

  I feel my cheeks flame.

  “Don’t be embarrassed, Olivia. I was young once, too. I remember when it was impossible to keep my hands off my gorgeous wife. To be honest, I still struggle with that.”

  “Well, I can see why. Your wife is beautiful.”

  “She is. But she’s more than that. Mrs. Healey is the rare exception, but the truth is, looks eventually fade. There has to be more than just physical attraction to keep love alive.”

  I watch as he gazes at his wife. Mr. Healey’s eyes fill with so much emotion that I finally have to look away, too afraid that I’m intruding on a private moment between the two of them.

  I want someone to look at me like that.

  Then someone does.

  Jackson’s eyes lock with mine, and once again, I find myself having to look away.

  “He’s very protective of you,” Mr. Healey says, obviously noticing our exchange. “His mother and I love seeing him like this.”

  I swallow nervously. “Like what?”

  “Happy.”

  With a flourish of a violin, our dance comes to an end. Mr. Healey takes a step back and gently kisses my hand.

  “You are lovely, Olivia. Thank you for the dance.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Healey.”

  He leads me over to the table.

  “It was wonderful to meet you, Olivia,” Mrs. Healey says. “Jackson has promised to bring you home soon for a family dinner. With Ryder and Hazel, of course.”

  “I’d love that. Thank you, Mrs. Healey.”

  “Please call me Joan.”

  She hugs me tightly, and I wave at Dana, who’s now sitting in the lap of Jackson’s divorce attorney.

  Call me, Dana mouths and gives me a wink. I nod, and Jackson takes my hand and leads me through the ballroom and out into the cool Nashville night. He hands the valet our ticket, along with what appears to be a fifty dollar bill.

  “We’re in a hurry,” Jackson mutters.

  I grin.

  While the kid runs like the wind toward the parking garage, Jackson takes off his jacket and places it around my bare shoulders.

  “Just out of curiosity,” I ask with a teasing grin, “what’s the rush?”