Where the River Ends

by Jacqui Penn

  ‘You can certainly move. I thought you hadn’t done Salsa before.’

  He raised his eyebrows and smiled. ‘I have a confession.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I bought a DVD and practised all weekend when you were out.’

  She laughed. ‘Why?’

  ‘I thought you might not want me to come again if I showed you up.’

  She cocked her head to one side. ‘Really? I’m not that shallow.’

  ‘I think it was mostly a confidence thing. I haven’t been out in public as Simon for so long. Always the husband, the dad, the widow. They’re all pretty good hats for hiding under.’

  She’d never seen him as having confidence issues, but then he was always at home in his comfort zone. ‘There’s the restaurant ahead, on the corner.’

  ‘Ah yes. I’ve been past, but never tried it. It’s always busy that’s usually a good sign.’

  Sophia ordered pizza with double cheese and Simon went for pasta in carbonara. He looked around the restaurant. ‘So, do you come here often?’

  Sophia giggled. ‘Only when I’m invited.’

  ‘Why are you laughing?’ He looked hurt. ‘Oh!’ He shook his head. ‘It wasn’t a sleazy chat up line.’ He laughed. ‘Probably worse that I admit I meant it.’ His spaghetti flicked a stain onto his t-shirt. He tried wiping it and managed to smear the sauce further. ‘Oh no! That looks disgusting.’ He placed his cutlery on the edge of his plate and proceeded to pull his arms out of the t-shirt.

  Sophia stared in disbelief. ‘What are you doing? You can’t take it off in here.’ He really had spent too long going out with the children.

  He turned it around so the stain was on the back. ‘You don’t have to look at it now.’

  She had a sudden attack of the giggles. ‘You really didn’t have to do that.’

  ‘I wanted to. There’s nothing worse than having someone dribble and then having to look at it for the rest of the evening.’

  He picked up his wine glass. ‘Cheers. Here’s to many more Salsa nights.’

  Sophia tapped her glass on his. ‘Cheers.’

  Sophia never saw what happened next or how the red wine appeared down Simon’s front. ‘I don’t believe it. I’m obviously only fit for the children’s restaurants. I should have had pizza and lemonade.’

  There was something about the look of frustration and embarrassment on his face that brought on another attack of Sophia’s giggles. ‘We need to get out of here. I can’t stop laughing.’

  ‘The only thing I could do is wear it inside out, but I think the stains will have gone right through.’

  Was he serious? Her cheeks ached. He was usually so in control. ‘I can’t eat anymore.’

  ‘I’ll get the bill.’ He tucked his napkin in the top of his t-shirt.

  ‘What are you doing?’

  ‘I don’t want the waiter seeing the mess I’m in. We might want to come back again. I tell you, next time I’m wearing black.’

  He was really quite serious, but funny without trying to be which made the whole thing hysterical. Sophia wiped her eyes on her napkin. ‘Just stop, my jaw hurts.’

  ‘I don’t know why you think it’s so funny. I should have your napkin, mine has sauce all over it.’

  Outside the restaurant, Sophia drew a breath. Her chest ached. She’d seen a different side to Simon. Gone had the father figure who so desperately wanted to get everything right. In his place was a man stumbling through as best he could, creating havoc. She liked the relaxed, mistake making Simon much better.

  Sophia pulled up and stopped the car outside the house. Simon touched the door handle and then turned back to her. ‘I plan to take the boys bowling on Saturday. Would you like to join us?’

  She nodded. ‘I love bowling. I’ve only ever been a couple of times so I’m not much good. Tell you what! I’ll get a DVD and practice a bit before the weekend.’

  ‘Ha! Very funny. I shouldn’t have confessed. I’m never going to hear the end of it.’

  Sophia felt like one of the family. She was included in days out and the atmosphere was relaxed whatever they were doing. The house had become a home once again for Simon and the children. For Sophia, she had a little family to take care of and that was a role she loved.

  After the Salsa class, which was a regular Monday evening out for both Simon and Sophia, they walked along to the Italian restaurant. Simon always wore a black t-shirt since his first night of catastrophes.

  Simon looked across the table as she bit into her pizza. ‘I’ve been thinking. Please hear me out before you say anything. I think we should get married.’ Sophia choked as some pizza went down the wrong way. ‘Should I pat your back? Are you okay?’

  ‘Fine,’ she croaked.

  ‘Anyway, I am asking you if you’ll marry me. I know it’s only been a year since Marie died, but it feels right, and we all but live as a family, and the boys love you, and well… I love you too.’

  Sophia stared at him. She was speechless for a while. He looked on hopefully. ‘It’s a bit of a shock. I don’t know what to say.’ She sipped her wine.

  ‘Will you at least think about it? Please.’

  She slowly nodded. Marry Simon? He was right, they did live together in all but the sexual side, and she was happy playing mum to the boys. She’d never looked at him as a partner, a husband.

  ‘I will think about it.’ She could feel her cheeks burning. He was fun to be with, but could she fancy him. A shiver ran down her spine.

  Turn the clock back. Rewind to five minutes ago and let this conversation never happen. She was happy, she didn’t want things to change. How did she feel about him? Really feel? She loved the family life she’d only experienced for a while in her own childhood. The feeling of security and being part of a family was what she’d strived for and dreamt of for all her lonely years at St Mary’s. All the wasted time still stupidly believing she’d be forgiven and her father would come for her. The boys loved her. Only this morning Eddie had asked if she was their mum now. She’d told him he only had one mum and their special bond didn’t need a name. The question had thrown her, and afterwards, she went over the conversation a hundred times. She should have said so much more. She loved those boys like they were her own family. Now she had the chance to make their union whole. Could she grow to love Simon? They did get on well. He made her laugh and he was genuine. Was that enough?

  Two days later, Sophia went to visit Nellie and Mutley. Mutley, as usual, since he’d lived with Nellie, curled up asleep on Sophia’s lap. She gently fondled his ear.

  Nellie held her mug of tea in both hands. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’

  ‘About what?’

  ‘Whatever it is that’s troubling you. It’s written all over your face.’

  Sophia took a deep breath. ‘Simon has asked me to marry him.’ She bit her bottom lip and waited.

  ‘And I take it that’s a bad thing?’

  ‘I don’t know. I love being in the family, I love the children, but…’

  ‘You don’t know how you feel about him?’ Sophia nodded. ‘Is he kind, funny, generous, thoughtful, an all-around good guy or—’

  ‘He is all of that and more. I’ve just never thought of him in a romantic way.’

  ‘You youngsters have romance down as one of the all-important things in life and that’s not what it’s about. Love is caring about the other person more than yourself. It’s wanting to make them happy and share the good times along with the not so good. Laughing together, holding each other up from time to time. I could go on forever, but having respect and making each other happy is what’s most important. Of course, it has to work both ways.’

  Sophia puffed out her lips as she exhaled. ‘I suppose we do already have a lot of that.’

  ‘Are you prepared to take on a ready-made family? Listen to me! You took them on a long time ago and saw them through the bad times. Have you a reason not to want to spend the rest of your life with him?’

  ‘No.
I was looking for stars, rainbows and happy ever after, but now I can see reality.’

  Nellie put her head on one side. ‘You’re young. There’s no reason to rush into anything. Leave it a while and see if the idea grows on you. If it’s meant to be, he’ll wait.’ She placed her mug on the table. ‘And above all, don’t listen to me, I’m an old woman who knows nothing.’

  Sophia giggled. ‘So just when I thought I had something to think about, you rubbish it all. That is not helpful!’

  ‘All I’m saying is that life has no right and wrong answers. You have to follow your heart. You’ll know from the inside what you want, not from anything anyone else tells you.’

  ‘Right, Mutley, down you go. I have to go and organise a wedding.’

  Nellie blurted out a laugh. ‘You haven’t decided to go ahead?’

  Mutley jumped down after a gentle push and Sophia stood. ‘Why not? I have it all now, it can only get better.’

  ‘Yes, well, there’s always the other department to look forward to. You should try it out before you make a final decision. There’s nothing like a disappointment to ruin a marriage.’

  Sophia raised her eyebrows in disbelief. ‘Nellie! I don’t believe you said that!’

  ‘Well, I did! You want a man who knows what he’s doing.’

  Sophia giggled and shook her head. ‘So I might be here next week telling you it’s all off because the department wasn’t running properly.’ They laughed. ‘Right, I’m going before I’m led further astray.’

  ‘Take care and remember there’s no rush. I’m so glad you came into my life and I don’t blame Simon one bit for wanting to spend the rest of his life with you.’

  Sophia hugged Nellie, gave her a peck on the cheek, stroked Mutley and walked away, her eyes pricking with tears.

  Chapter 18

  Sophia arrived home armed with wine, steak, and candles. She intended making tonight a special celebration to mark the beginning of her new life. Married! The idea had grown on her so suddenly and now she felt ready to burst.

  ‘Why are you laughing?’ Charlie asked when she collected him from school.

  ‘She’s happy. I already asked her,’ Eddie chimed in. Charlie gave her an uncertain look and skipped ahead.

  She knew she was beaming uncontrollably and it was amazing how many people smiled back. She couldn’t recall ever having such an effect on complete strangers, but she felt so good. Now she understood the saying smile and the whole world smiles with you. She intended smiling for the rest of her life.

  By the time Simon returned from work, the house was buzzing with music playing, the children dancing and Sophia singing along. ‘What’s going on here?’

  ‘Dad, dance with us,’ Eddie said.

  ‘I can’t dance.’

  Sophie changed the music to Salsa and smiled at him. ‘You can dance to this.’

  He pulled her to the middle of the room. ‘You mean like this.’

  Charlie stopped dancing and looked at them. ‘Wow!’ He giggled. ‘Come on, Eddie. We can do that.’ The boys imitated their dad’s moves until Eddie got a little enthusiastic, fell over and brought Simon down with him.

  Sophia laughed. ‘Time for dinner.’

  A while later, with the boys tucked up in bed, the adults ate their meal. ‘This is lovely,’ Simon said, cutting into his steak. ‘Candles and the works. Have you had a good day?’ He laughed. ‘Stupid question.’

  ‘I have had a fantastic day. Simon, I would love to marry you.’

  ‘You would? I can’t believe it!’ He took in a deep breath, pushed his chair back and hurried around to her side of the table. ‘I haven’t even bought a ring yet.’ He bent and hugged her tight before they kissed. ‘Thank you, thank you. You don’t know what this means to me. I love you with all my heart.’

  ‘I’ve never felt so wanted and happy. I love you, Simon.’ She’d also never felt so much wonderful emotion. Oh no! She was going to cry.

  The following weeks were spent in blissful harmony. The boys were thrilled she would be their new mummy.

  ‘We’d better get a date booked before you change your mind,’ Simon insisted.

  ‘No chance. You don’t get away that easily.’

  At the registry office, Sophia didn’t want to take a slot that had been cancelled. ‘Do you think it’s a bit of an omen?’

  ‘No, I don’t. I think it’s lucky for us because now I get you sooner. The next available date is three months’ time.’

  She frowned. ‘That’s not too far away.’

  Simon cocked his head to one side. ‘I’m so excited. I don’t want to wait a day longer than we have to, but if you would rather…’

  She shook her head. ‘No, you’re right. Nothing can spoil what we’ve got. Let’s go for it!’

  He turned back to the woman who sat patiently behind the desk. ‘We’ll take the earlier date. Four weeks!’ She began filling in a form and looking at the certificates they’d brought with them. Simon handed over his credit card.

  Sophia had an impromptu moment. She screwed up her face, clenched her hands together and pulled her shoulders in tight with excitement. She’d give Anna a call tonight and tomorrow she’d go and tell Nellie the date. What would she wear? She let out an involuntary squeal.

  The woman smiled at her. ‘There you go.’ She handed Simon the paperwork. ‘We’ll see you on the sixteenth.’

  ‘You most certainly will. Thank you,’ Simon said. He tucked his card into his wallet and took the papers and brought them to his lips as though they were gold dust. They stepped outside where the rain had started. He put his arm around her shoulder as they hurried to the car. ‘A celebratory drink before we go home?’

  ‘Absolutely. Four weeks. There’s so much to do.’

  He pressed the fob and opened the door for her. ‘Whatever you want.’ He climbed into the driver’s side. ‘I haven’t got a lot of people I’d want to invite.’

  ‘I only have two.’

  He swept back his hair and the drips of water fell onto his collar. He started the car. ‘Why don’t we just invite two each and the boys of course? It’d make it really special rather than having people there you’ve never met. Unless you’d—’

  ‘No. I’d prefer just us and a few people. I’ve never been one for the limelight.’

  ‘Perfect. I think we can stretch to lunch before we pick the boys up. Where do you fancy?’ He stretched out his legs and put his hand in his pocket. ‘I meant to do this in the gardens as we came out.’ He opened a small red box. ‘Sophia, will you marry me?’

  She laughed. ‘Um! Can I have a moment?’

  ‘No you can’t! Give me your hand!’ He laughed as she held her hand out. He pushed the diamond solitaire into place then bent forwards and kissed her.

  As she left Nellie’s the following day, Sophia squeezed the old lady’s hand. ‘I am so happy.’

  ‘I know you are. I can see it written all over your face. I’ll have to buy a hat.’

  Sophia chuckled. ‘You won’t need a hat. It’s only a small do for eight.’

  ‘I’m representing the mother of the bride role and I need a hat. Now, are we going shopping for your dress and my hat or what?’

  ‘Yes, before Anna comes at the weekend. She’d have me wearing all sorts.’ She rummaged in her bag for her car keys. ‘She’ll definitely be wearing a hat, so you won’t be alone.’

  ‘There, see! You’d have had me looking like I hadn’t made an effort.’

  ‘I’ll come on Tuesday morning, around ten. Okay?’

  Nellie nodded. ‘Fine. See you then.’

  Sophia didn’t feel like going home, so instead, she went to the beach. She spread her jacket down and sat a few feet from the sea watching the ripples and thinking how lucky she was. She picked up a few pebbles and threw them one by one into the breaking waves. Life was perfect.

  ‘Sophia?’ She turned and brought her hand to her forehead to shield her eyes from the dazzling sun. ‘I thought it was you.’


  She leapt to her feet. ‘Gio! What are you doing here?’ Her heart raced. ‘Oh my God! I can’t believe it’s you.’ His jet black hair was still swept back as always, and his tanned skin made him look as handsome as ever. He took a step forward and kissed her on both cheeks, before wrapping his arms around her and hugging her tight.

  ‘I had a couple of weeks leave from the air force.’ He released his arms.

  ‘The air force? You left without saying goodbye… I didn’t know what had happened to you.’

  He shuffled uncomfortably on the spot and kicked a couple of stones. ‘I had to get away. I’ve realised that when the chips are down, it’s what I do best.’ He motioned to the beach. ‘Shall we sit?’ She nodded and returned to her jacket. ‘So what have you been up to?’

  ‘I’m getting married in four weeks’ time—’

  ‘Tristan decided to make an honest—’

  ‘No. Tristan and I finished not long after you left. He had a lady friend.’ Gio nodded knowingly. ‘You knew?’

  ‘I tried to tell you. I tried to get him to treat you right… It’s history. So who are you marrying?’ He looked at his watch. ‘Shall we go and grab a bite to eat? I haven’t had anything since last night.’

  On the way to her car, Sophia filled him in with the details of her life. She pressed the fob and the car beeped as it unlocked. ‘Here we are.’

  ‘You still have the car Tristan bought you!’

  ‘I think he felt guilty. So he said I could keep it.’ She laughed as she unlocked it and climbed in. ‘So tell me about you. Do you have a wife, a partner?’

  ‘There is someone I asked to marry me. No date or set plans yet.’

  Her heart skipped a beat.

  In the restaurant, Sophia studied the menu. ‘I have to try the chicken in garlic butter.’

  ‘I’ll join you.’ He lifted his glass. ‘Cheers. To old friends reunited.’

  ‘Cheers, and not so much of the old.’

  He placed his glass down and looked into her eyes. ‘I missed you.’

  She nodded in agreement. ‘I thought about you a lot. I’ve always wondered where you disappeared off to. I went to the flat, but it was empty.’