Making Our Way Back

by Jennah Thornhill

  How very sexy.

  Since coming home, Kane hasn’t once attempted to touch me, I’m lucky if I get a peck on the lips from him. Something is on his mind, when I ask him about it he just shuts me down and tells me not too worry, that I need to rest. I guess he’ll talk to me when he’s ready, our situation is also a lot for him to adjust to. He may have lived with Sophie, but from what I can gather their relationship wasn’t anything close to how a proper husband and wife should be. Am I a little jealous that he’s been married before? Of course I am. He was always supposed to marry me and only me. I’ll get past it eventually. I have to if we’re going to work. And I want us to work.

  My thoughts are interrupted when he saunters into the living room looking like the sex god he is, he’s got his suits trousers on with his crisp white shirt unbuttoned and untucked. Giving my eyes the best view they’ve seen in awhile, his abs are on show with that sexy as fuck tattoo also on display. My eyes lower, landing on the indents that are on either side of his hips, the magic V, until Kane I’d only ever read about that V in the lady porn books I love to read. I know I’m staring but I don’t give a shit, this man is mine and if I want to drool all over him then I bloody well will do.

  He’s fiddling with his belt, so he doesn’t see me staring at him.

  “Luce, I have to go into the office for a few hours, are you going to be ok whilst I’m gone?” He asks, still messing with his belt.

  Swallowing and running my tongue over my dry lips, I try and bring some moisture back into them. Finally I answer him, as I slowly pull myself up from my current position on the sofa.

  “Yes my darling, I will be just fine.” Sarcasm dripping from my voice. He really is a worry wart.

  “You do know for that attitude, I ought to fuck it out of you, you should be thankful you’re in a position where I can’t.”

  Fuck me… he can’t say shit like that to me.

  He’s unknowingly set me on fire, I’m burning from the inside out for him, my heart is beating wildly in my chest, at the same time my vagina is doing all sorts of crazy shit in my pyjama bottoms.

  “I’m not going to stop you.” I say. In what I’m hoping is my seductive voice.

  He stops doing what he’s doing to look at me, finally. The look in his eyes tells me he’s seriously thinking about it, they’re glazed over and glistening with want, yes the man wants me.

  About fucking time.

  “Don’t look at me like that baby girl, you’re still recovering. As much as I would love nothing more than to bury myself deep inside your beautiful pussy, I can’t. Not yet anyway.”

  I make my way slowly over to him, ignoring his little speech. When I get to him, I run one lone nail down his chest, all the way to the trail of hair that disappears into his trousers.

  Hearing the hitch in his breath from just that one simple touch, it gives me the confidence I need to continue it on. I place my hand flat against his hard, toned chest, drawing imaginary patterns with my finger over his tanned skin.

  Learning forward, I kiss his chest where my fingers have just been.

  “You…. know…. you... want… too.” I kiss his chest after each and every word, each word coming out on a breath weighed down with want and need.

  Taking my face in a firm yet gentle hold, he places his lips on mine, giving me what can only be described as an earth shattering kiss. Just when I think I’m finally going to get what I want, my stomach recoils. Pulling away from him, I throw a hand over my mouth and I just make it back to my bucket in time. This has got to stop soon.

  I feel his hand take its place on my back as he rubs it in circles, encouraging me to ‘Get it all out.’

  This isn’t at all sexy.

  “This is all your fault.” I eventually get out between all the dry heaving.

  “My fault?” He has the audacity to sound shocked.

  “Yes! Yours, if you hadn’t of impregnated me, I wouldn’t be in this state.” I sound like such a bitch, but I’m getting pissed off with it all, not only are my ribs hurting from the aftermath of the crash, but they are now also hurting from all the heaving I’m doing. I just want my body back to normal now.

  My answer is met with the biggest howl of laughter I’ve ever heard come from Kane’s mouth.

  “You’re having me on aren’t you baby girl? You do know that we worked out when it was you got pregnant? Yes, I may of fucked your brains out on my car, but I was not the one who instigated the course of that night.

  Twat. Yes I know that.

  Why does he have to be right again? He couldn’t let me have this one could he?

  “Oh piss off to work, I’m perfectly capable of looking after myself.” I snap.

  I plonk my arse back on the sofa, listening to the fucker still laughing at me as he fastens his shirt.

  “It’s not funny. Do you see me laughing? It’s not your body going through all this torture, it’s mine.” My voice wobbles, tears are desperate to fall but I won’t allow them to. I can’t have him thinking I don’t want this baby again.

  Bloody hormones, I’m a wreck.

  Sitting beside me, he pulls me into his arms which instantly calms me.

  “I’m sorry Luce, I suck at this. I’ve tried reading things online, it just doesn’t make sense to me. All that jargon about ginger biscuits and crackers, it just confused the shit out of me, so I gave up. I don’t know what else to do.”

  “What and you think I do? This is all new to me too Kane.” I’m board a line on historical now, wet, salty tears are pouring down my face, I can’t see anything, not even the bowl I’ve current got my head stuck in again, heaving yet again, waiting for the next dry heave to wrack my body. How much longer is this going to go on for now? I’ve got nothing left to bring up.

  “Baby, I don’t like seeing you like this. What can I do to make you feel better? Tell me and I’ll do it.”

  After one last dry heave, I manage to croak out, “There’s nothing you can do, I just have to ride it out and hope it passes sooner rather than later.”

  “If you say so baby girl, I really hate leaving you but I’ve really got to go. I’m surprised I still have a business to even go back to.” He says, giving me a mouth-watering smile.

  “It’s ok Kane, just go. I have your number if I need you, plus Donna said she might call round sometime today.”

  With that he gives me one last lingering kiss on the top of my head, then he picks up his phone and suit jacket from the chair he slung it over earlier on and leaves.

  In a way I’m glad he’s left, I must look like shit, because I feel like fucking shit, I know he just wants to help me, but there isn’t anything he can do for me, and with him gone I can just cuddle up on the sofa and have five minutes peace without him fussing over me, or watching me be sick. I want neither of these things. I grab the throw off the back of the sofa and wrap myself up, placing my head on the cushion. I’m just about to drift off into the land of nod when my phone rings. It’s probably Kane, he’s only just left and he’s more than likely checking up on me already…

  Only… it’s not.

  “Hello Bitch.” I say, my voice making it obvious I was trying to sleep.

  “You asleep? I’ve been knocking for ages, I thought something had happened to you. Now get your arse up and come open the door, I’m freezing standing out here.” I laugh as I get myself up slowly, and make my way towards to door.

  “About fucking time. How is my little pear doing?” She asks about the baby every time see she’s me, which has been every bloody day since I came home. She’s like a mother hen, honestly I don’t know who’s worse her or Kane.

  She comes barrelling into my kitchen, her arms are full of bags, but not your regular ‘I’ve been on a shopping spree bags’ no, these ones are from a herbal store I know that’s located on the high street.

  “What the hell? You going on some sort of health kick or something?” I ask, motioning with my head to all the bags she’s now dumped on my kitchen counter.<
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  “What these? Oh no, these aren’t for me. These are for you. I know you’ve been suffering so I nipped in and asked what would be good for you, you know, to help with the sickness and shit you’ve got going on.”

  “Do they work?” I’m intrigued now.

  “I don’t bloody know, the woman behind the counter said one would, every woman is different, you just have to find the right one for you.

  When she’s finished giving me a rundown of her talk with the shop assistant, she proceeds to pull out boxes and containers. I take a closer look and see she’s got every herbal tea and vitamin going.

  I guess anything is worth a try, right?

  I take the box that says ‘Mint Tea’ on it, thinking it sounds like one of the better options. Taking it over to the kettle I flick it on, then I pull down cups from the cupboard. Preparing to make us both drinks.

  “Want one?” I ask her, shaking the box at her.

  “Ew, god no. You’re the poor tart who’s got a bun in her oven, don’t make the rest of us suffer with you. No, I’ll take my usual coffee, thanks.”

  Bitch, she knows I love my coffee.

  I hate to admit this, but Donna is right. I shouldn’t make everyone suffer just because I am.

  Yet again, she’s a bitch.

  She was here with me for the best part of the day, calling in sick at work. Saying she had a bad headache, that she was still suffering from the crash.

  Lying cow bag.

  Whilst she was here, I drank another two cups of the mint tea she got me. At first it tasted like cat piss, but I got used to it when I realised I hadn’t thrown them back up in the last few hours. I think I’ve found something that actually works for me. Go figure.

  When she left, she gave me a bone crunching hug, not enough to hurt the baby, no just me, at the same time having a smug grin on her face because she was right.

  I made myself some toast, not daring to overdo it just yet. By the time I crawled into bed Kane still wasn’t home, giving me time to starfish it out in my bed, which I don’t think will last long. God I think we may need a bigger bed.

  Kane

  I ’m the worst boyfriend/father-to-be ever.

  It should’ve been me who thought to have gone to the herbal store for her, not Donna. I can’t thank the woman enough though, without her help Luce would more than likely still have her head in that goddamn bucket every five minutes. Once we both realised the mint tea was working for her, I went out and bought every box, emptying all the shelf for her. I’ve even got them to call me the minute they have more in stock.

  She’s been home now for nearly two weeks, she even declared she felt a million times better and went back to work. Against my better judgment of course, but she’s always been stubborn, something I would never want her change about herself. When she has something in her pretty little head, there’s no getting it back out again. What she doesn’t know is, I’m in very close contact with Cole, I have him on speed dial. He’s under very strict instructions to call me the minute anything doesn’t seem right with her, that’s without my hourly phone calls to him, just to double check that everything is ok.

  I still haven’t touched her since she’s been home from the hospital, I’ve been to scared to, even though she’s more than willing. I can see it in her eyes and her attitude towards me that she’s getting frustrated with me. She hasn’t said anything, then again she doesn’t have to, I can read that woman like a bloody book.

  I’ve done some more research, turns out we can still have all the sex we want and it shouldn’t hurt her or the baby at all. We just need to find the right position that works for her, and isn’t going to be uncomfortable for either of them. I haven’t told Marcus about any of this, that fucker will laugh his arse off at me. And I won’t give him that satisfaction, he already practically fell off his chair when I told him Luce was pregnant.

  I’ve also kept her skanky mother and Sophie at bay… for now. I sent them both direct deposits for a hundred grand each, I know they’ll ask for more, I can see it coming, but until I know what to do about them and the situation, it’ll have to do. And even though they don’t deserve any of my hard earned cash, it’s the only thing I know of that will keep them out of the way. I really need to come up with something, I can’t and won’t keep doing this, it’s not fair on me, and it definitely isn’t fair on Luce. I hate lying to her. But when I said I would do anything to protect Lucy and my child I meant it.

  No matter what the cost.

  It seems to be working as well, I haven’t heard a peep out of either of them since I gave them the money.

  I’m now leaving the office early, I have plans for my girl. I’m hoping what I do for her tonight will make up for my lack of affection, even if I do make a total dick of myself in the process.

  Closing my office door behind me, I tell Valerie I’m leaving early. She knows I have plans for tonight, I got her to order me the flowers and food I’m taking home with me.

  “Bye Valerie, I’ll see you Monday. Oh and thank you for today, I appreciate it.” I tell her, as I walk past her desk.

  She waves me off with her hand, “Don’t be daft my boy, you just go and enjoy yourself with that amazing girl of yours, my lord you both deserve it.” With her word’s filling me with a warmth I haven’t felt in ages, I finally head down to my car, making quick work of getting back to Lucy’s apartment building to get ready for when she walks through the door.

  I feel like a grade A knob, there’s no other way of putting it really. I look down at myself in the mirror and cringe, I wouldn’t ever in a million years think I would ever put myself in this situation. But I have. I’ve done it because I know it will make Lucy happy, and all being well I’ll have her screaming my name again within minutes of her walking through the door. Which should be any minute now.

  Taking one last look at what I’m wearing, which just so happens to be the tightest black trousers and shirt ever known to man with the first four buttons undone, topped off with a black leather jacket. To some it might not sound so bad, yet to me it feels like my arse is being flossed in the trousers, and my arms are going to go all Hulk on the shirt and burst out of the damn thing. I’ve even slicked my hair back, which makes me look like I’ve thrown a full tub of grease on it.

  All in the name of love. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway.

  Dirty Dancing was her favourite film of all time, if I‘ve watched that film with her once, I must’ve watched it a million times. So I’m hoping that it’s still is her favourite film, if not I’m going to look like a right twat dressed like this. I’m just glad no one else is going to see me like this. The things you do for the love of your life, the things I’m about to do for the love of my life.

  So, my attempt at being Patrick Swayze for the evening had better make her ecstatic, I’ve even downloaded the soundtrack and got it playing throughout the apartment on my iPod docking station. The food is being kept warm in the oven, I’ve even put the flowers I got her in a vase, then placed them on the table by the front door so she sees them the second she walks through the door.

  Just when I think I’m going to lose my nerve, and bottle it. I hear her key in the door and her bag gets tossed on the floor.

  It’s now or never.

  “Oh, wow Kane, the flowers are…” Her words trail off when she sees me.

  I’m standing against her balcony doors, with my arms folded across my chest and with one foot leaning up on the glass.

  “What’s all this?” She asks, as she scrunches her nose up in the cute way I’ve always adored when she’s confused.

  I push off the glass with my foot, walking towards her, I beckon her to me with my finger just like he does in the film. To my amazement she does what my silent action is asking of her do.

  She never ceases to amaze me.

  I grab her waist with one hand, at the same time I hold her in my other arm with my palm flat against her back.

  “Dance with me baby girl.” I de
mand on a whisper, leaving her no room to argue with me.

  Otis Redding’s- These Arms of Mine starts to play, that’s when I see the penny drop in her head.

  “Holy shit.” She squeaks out, then covers her mouth with her hand that was on my shoulder moments before, she’s trying her best to hide her laugh, but I see it, and it makes my heart thump. This isn’t so bad, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about anymore, she’s happy therefore I’m happy.

  Slowly I start to move us to the music, my thigh is between her legs as we sway, our hips grinding against each other. It’s like we’re having sex but with our clothes on. I decide to step it up a notch, I start singing in her ear, my voice all husky and gravelly.

  “These arms of mine,

  They are burning.

  Burning from wanting you.

  These arms of mine,

  They are wanting you,

  Wanting to hold you.”

  “And if you,

  Would let them hold you,

  Ohh grateful I will be.”

  I don’t get the chance to finish the rest of the song, because the next thing I know her lips are on mine. I’m not finished with her yet. I lean her back, supporting her weight with my hand and leg, so she’s bent at the waist. Just like her favourite part in the film. I take the opportunity to get a taste of her delicious skin, I bend with her and start kissing the base of her neck, licking and nipping all along her jaw bone to the back of her ear. That’s when I hear her moan and I know I’ve got her. Pulling her back up to a standing position, I get more than what I bargained for. The want, the lust, the desperate wanton need I see all over her face, that look alone tells me that this ridiculous outfit was worth it.