The Irwin Case

by Diana Xarissa

  “Ah, there you are,” Joan said as Janet filled Aggie’s food and water bowls. “Do you have a few minutes to help me get ready?”

  “Certainly,” Janet agreed, wondering what help her sister wanted.

  Joan’s large bedroom had its own small sitting room and en-suite bathroom. Janet followed her sister into the bathroom, where Joan had makeup spread out around the sink.

  “I never wear much makeup,” she said to Janet. “But tonight is important to Michael and I want to look my best. Can you help me with how to put some of this on?”

  “I can,” Janet said. “But I’m not sure you want to overdo it. Michael seems to care about you just the way you are. Why do you care what anyone else thinks?”

  Joan shrugged. “I just want Michael to know that I made an extra effort,” she said. “I know tonight is important to him.”

  Under Janet’s careful tutoring, Joan applied a small amount of eye shadow and eyeliner. “Mascara is too messy,” Joan said, studying herself in the mirror. “I always end up getting it in my eyes, and then my eyes water and it’s just a big mess.”

  “Skip the mascara, then,” Janet said. “You just need a bit of blusher on your cheeks and a nice lipstick and you’ll be ready.”

  Joan added those things and then combed her short bob into place. “I was thinking about getting a haircut,” she told Janet. “Maybe if I got my hair cut short, people would stop insisting that we look alike.”

  Janet grinned. Neither she nor Joan could see the resemblance, even though they both wore their hair in the same style and had the same bright blue eyes. “It’s too late to get it cut for tonight,” she said.

  “Yes, I suppose so,” Joan said. She stared at herself for a minute and then shrugged. “Michael is going to have to be happy with that,” she said.

  Janet helped her into the gorgeous black dress that Joan had bought for the occasion. As Joan rarely bought herself new clothes, Janet had been surprised and pleased that she’d purchased something considerably more extravagant than Janet had expected.

  “You look fabulous,” Janet told her after she’d zipped the dress for Joan.

  “I have butterflies on top of my butterflies,” Joan admitted. “Maybe I should cancel.”

  “You’d break Michael’s heart. I’m sure he has butterflies, too. You can’t possibly cancel.”

  “No, I know,” Joan sighed. She picked up her shoes and headed for the sitting room at the front of the house. “They aren’t all that bad,” she told Janet, waving the shoes, “but I’m not putting them on before I have to.”

  Only a few minutes later, as the sisters were discussing their plans for their upcoming visit to the Isle of Man, Michael knocked on the door.

  “My goodness, you look awfully handsome,” Janet said as she let the man into the house.

  Michael’s suit had obviously been expensive and it appeared to have been custom-tailored for him. He flushed under Janet’s gaze.

  “I’m a nervous wreck,” he admitted. “I only have to speak for five minutes, but I’ve rewritten my remarks at least two dozen times. Now I’m afraid I’m going to lose my notes before I give the speech.” When he finished speaking, he slipped his hand into a pocket and gasped.

  “You haven’t left them at home, have you?” Janet asked.

  Michael patted all of his pockets in turn and then sighed with relief as he found his notes in his jacket. “I put them there for safekeeping,” he muttered.

  Janet laughed as Joan slipped on her shoes. “We should go,” she said. “We don’t want to be late.”

  Michael held out his arm and Joan took it with a smile. “It’s going to be a wonderful evening,” she said to the man.

  “I hope so,” Michael replied. “Oh, and you look wonderful, as well. I’m sure I forgot to say that earlier.”

  Janet watched as they walked down the steps and climbed into the taxi that was waiting for them at the end of the short walkway to the house. She waved to her sister as the car pulled away.

  “Time to get me something to eat,” she told Aggie. “You be a good girl while I’m gone.”

  “Meerooooww,” Aggie said.

  Janet went up to her room to comb her hair and add a touch of lipstick. She found her handbag and headed back down the stairs. Aggie was chasing her tail, but she stopped when she saw Janet.

  “Did you think I’d left already?” Janet asked. “I’m going now.”

  Aggie walked to the door with her, and Janet gave her a quick scratch behind the ears before she left. The weather had been getting nicer as they worked their way into spring, but the night felt crisp and almost cold to Janet. She had been considering walking, but it was too chilly. Instead, she climbed into the car that she and Joan shared and drove the short distance to the café.

  The building’s small car park was less than half full when Janet arrived. She parked under the streetlight and walked into the brightly lit dining room.

  “Janet, what a lovely surprise,” Ted called from the middle of the room where he was taking orders. “Sit anywhere.” Ted and his partner, Todd, had owned the small café for longer than Janet and Joan had owned Doveby House. They were both in their forties. Ted had ginger hair with a neat beard. He was slender, and he did all the work in the dining room. Todd, with his long dark hair always in a ponytail, mostly stayed in the kitchen. He was plump, the way that Janet thought everyone who cooked for a living should be.

  “Thanks,” Janet replied. She chose a table in the corner near the front of the building. Once she was seated, she looked around to see if she knew anyone else in the room. One or two people looked familiar, and Janet found herself nodding at a woman that had formerly worked at the local grocer’s and another that she was sure she knew from somewhere, but she had no idea where.

  “Tea? Or something else?” Ted asked a moment later.

  “Oh, tea, I think,” Janet said. “It’s cold out there again.”

  “Just for tonight,” Ted told her. “Then we’re supposed to see a warm-up for a few days.”

  “That would be nice,” Janet said. “I just hope it doesn’t rain.”

  “They aren’t giving rain until the weekend,” Ted replied. “I’ll believe that when I see it, though.”

  Janet laughed and then picked up her menu. Everything on it sounded good, which made making a choice difficult.

  “Janet, this is Molly,” Ted said a moment later, as he delivered her tea.

  The young girl with Ted smiled brightly at Janet. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said.

  “Molly is going to be working here, mostly waiting tables, for the next few months or so,” Ted told Janet. “She’s the niece of one of Todd’s friends from uni, or something like that. Anyway, we’re hoping the summer will be busy enough to warrant having an extra pair of hands.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Janet said politely.

  The girl grinned. “I was working at a pub in Liverpool, but my father thought it was a little bit rough. He suggested that I come out here and try working at a café instead.”

  “I can understand your father’s concern,” Janet said. The girl was cute and blonde and couldn’t have been much over five feet tall. If she’d been Janet’s daughter, Janet wouldn’t have wanted her working in a pub, either.

  “Yeah, it was a little scary sometimes,” the girl said. “It’s much nicer here. Everyone has been incredibly sweet and no one has shouted at me yet.”

  “I can’t imagine anyone ever shouting at you here,” Janet told her.

  “Anyway, can I take your order?” the girl asked.

  Janet frowned. “I don’t know what I want,” she said with a sigh. “Everything sounds good.”

  “I’ll be right back,” Molly said. She disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Janet with Ted.

  “That was odd,” Janet remarked.

  “Knowing Molly, she’s just had an idea,” Ted told her. “She’s been making all sorts of little changes to the menu for customers since sh
e’s been here.”

  “Oh, dear,” Janet said.

  “No, it’s good,” Ted told her. “She always checks with Todd first and so far she hasn’t suggested anything that was a problem for him. Our customers have never been happier.”

  Molly was back a minute later, while Janet and Ted were still talking. “Okay, so earlier Todd mentioned that he’d cut some of the servings of cottage pie wrong, and now he had a piece left over that was really only half a serving. I wanted to ask him if he had any other odd bits like that that he could combine to make you a meal.”

  “And did he?” Janet asked, intrigued by the idea.

  “Yes,” Molly said. “He can do you a bit of cottage pie, a small piece of fish with a few chips on the side, and half a sausage with a tiny scoop of mashed potato, if that all sounds good.”

  “It sounds wonderful,” Janet said. “But you may find that everyone wants the same.”

  “I hope not,” Molly laughed. “These are all odd bits that Todd wasn’t sure what to do with. He’d have to start cutting up proper portions if anyone else wants the same thing.”

  “Which is something he could do,” Ted said. “If anyone asks after they see Janet’s meal, we’ll make it happen,” he told Molly.

  “Excellent,” Molly said. “So I’ll tell Todd that’s what you want?”

  “Yes, please,” Janet said.

  A short time later, Todd peeked his head out of the kitchen. “I just wanted to make sure you know that you aren’t getting leftover or unwanted bits of food,” he told Janet. “I slice whole fish myself for the fish and chips, and we usually end up with one or two pieces that are too small to serve. I usually make them into fish pie for Ted and me.”

  “I hope I’m not depriving you of your dinner, then,” Janet said.

  “Ted hates fish pie,” Todd laughed. “He’s delighted. As for sausage from the bangers and mash, well, we often get odd half or three-quarter pieces from our supplier. Sometimes I put them into a sausage pie.”

  “Well, I’m awfully glad you had them around for me today,” Janet said.

  “That’s because it’s Monday, which means our supplier delivered today,” Todd told her. “Any other day and it would have been a different story.”

  “Well, I’m delighted that Molly had the idea,” Janet said. “She seems lovely.”

  “She’s nice, and she’s far too clever to be working in a café,” Todd said. “But she can’t seem to work out what she wants to do with her life. I think her father was hoping she might find inspiration here.”

  A buzzing noise had him on his feet before Janet could reply. “That will be something burning in the kitchen,” he told Janet cheerfully. He was gone before she did more than nod.

  A few moments later, Molly brought out her dinner. The plate was full to overflowing with the three meals crowded onto it.

  “That doesn’t look like a partial portion of anything,” Janet complained as she studied the plate.

  “Have you seen the full portions?” Molly asked. “Because Todd really does love to fill a plate.”

  Janet nodded. The girl was right. Todd always put far too much food onto every plate that went out of his kitchen. And somehow Janet always managed to eat everything she was given. Tonight she found it more of a struggle than normal, however, finally admitting defeat while leaving a few chips and her last bite of sausage.

  “I just can’t eat another bite,” she told Molly when the girl came to clear her plate.

  “Oh, that’s too bad,” Molly said. “Todd said to tell you that he has a half a slice of chocolate cake and half a slice of jam roly-poly. He thought you might like to put them together to make a whole pudding.”

  Janet’s mouth began to water in spite of her very full tummy. “I can’t,” she protested weakly.

  “Maybe he could box them up for you to take with you,” Molly suggested.

  Janet laughed. “Okay, you’ve sold me on it. If he can box them up, I’ll take his half puddings off of him, as well.”

  Molly was back a few minutes later with a small white box. “Here you are,” she said, setting the box on the table. “And I’m sorry, but here’s your bill, as well.”

  Janet was surprised at the price of her meal. “Ted,” she called the man over. “This can’t be right,” she complained.

  Ted took the slip of paper from her and read through it. “It looks right to me,” he said with a shrug.

  “But you haven’t charged me nearly enough for that meal,” Janet argued.

  “You’ve helped Todd clear out the kitchen,” Ted told her. “None of that was saleable on its own. Todd’s charged you what he paid for it, plus a small premium. It’s more than fair.”

  “Are you sure?” Janet demanded.

  “I’m positive,” Ted assured her.

  Janet counted out her money, adding a large tip for Ted and Molly, and then waddled out to her car with her box of puddings. Back at Doveby House, she sank down in front of the telly and slowly ate her way through the contents of the box.

  Chapter 3

  Joan wasn’t home by midnight, so Janet gave up on waiting up for her and went up to bed. Aggie had been asleep on her lap for hours by that time, and Janet did her best to stand up without waking the kitten. Perhaps it was because her tummy was so full, but for some reason Janet struggled to get out of her chair while holding her pet.

  “Yoowwwlll,” Aggie said as she came awake and jumped out of Janet’s arms.

  “Oh, yowl to you, too,” Janet said. “I’m sorry, but I simply couldn’t get up without waking you.”

  Aggie dashed up the stairs while Janet cleared away the evidence of her snack in front of the telly. When she got to her bedroom door, Aggie was pacing back and forth in front of it. As soon as the door was opened, Aggie raced inside and jumped up onto the bed. She bounced up and down a few times on her pillow and then settled in. By the time Janet was ready to join her, the kitten was fast asleep.

  For the first time that Janet could ever remember, she was up before her sister the next morning. She gave Aggie her breakfast and then tried to decide what to do next. She was perfectly capable of making herself something for breakfast, but she didn’t want to upset Joan in the process. The kitchen was Joan’s domain and Janet usually only used it when Joan was out with Michael. Today was something of a grey area. Joan was home, Janet had made sure of that, but it seemed Joan wasn’t ready to start making breakfast.

  “This is silly,” Janet said to Aggie. “I’m old enough to make my own breakfast without worrying about Joan.”

  Aggie gave her a skeptical look as she munched her way through her own meal. Janet frowned at her and then defiantly opened the refrigerator. She pulled out eggs and bacon and then decided that she fancied an omelet. Cheese and onion were added to the small pile on the counter. A minute later, she had a frying pan sizzling with melted butter as she chopped her ingredients. While the omelet was bubbling away, she started a pot of coffee. Whatever time Joan finally surfaced, she was probably going to want coffee.

  Janet was just swallowing her last bite of her impromptu breakfast, washing it down with a sip of coffee, when Joan stumbled out of her bedroom.

  “Coffee?” she asked.

  “I just made a fresh pot,” Janet told her.

  Joan stood in the doorway, staring longingly at the pot, until Janet finally got up and poured her sister a cup.

  “Thank you,” Joan muttered as she took the cup from Janet. She took a sip, and then after a short pause, took another longer drink. “That’s better,” she said as she took a deep breath.

  “Do you need headache tablets?” Janet asked curiously.

  “Yes, I think I do,” Joan replied.

  Janet pulled the bottle of tablets out of the cupboard and shook two out into her hand. She passed them to her sister, who quickly washed them down with more coffee.

  “I went to bed at midnight,” Janet said. “What time did you finally get in?”

  “It was nearly
three,” Joan said. “I’m sure I’ve never been up that late at night before.”

  “I hope you were having fun.”

  “It was a very nice evening,” Joan told her. “After the event was over, Michael was invited to go out for a few drinks with a few of his old friends. We ended up at a pub in Derby somewhere, and yes, I’ll admit it, I drank too much.”

  Janet looked at her sister and had to bite her lip so as not to laugh. “I think I need to have a word with Michael,” she said as sternly as she could. “Clearly he’s a bad influence on you.”

  “It wasn’t Michael’s fault,” Joan said quickly. “I just felt so, well, out of place, really. Everyone else knew one another and they kept talking about how wonderful Michael’s wife had been. I didn’t have anything else to do but drink and try not to cry.”

  “Oh, dear,” Janet said. She jumped up and pulled her sister into a hug. “I am sorry,” she told her.

  “Michael kept trying to change the subject, but a couple of the women seemed to be almost being deliberately nasty about it,” Joan said. Janet could hear repressed tears in her sister’s voice. “All I wanted to do was leave, but I didn’t want to spoil Michael’s special evening.”

  Janet hugged Joan tightly again. “Michael should have told them to stop talking about her,” she said angrily.

  “He was talking to his friends and didn’t really hear much of the conversation,” Joan defended the man. “Whenever he did hear her name, he did try to shut them up, though.”

  “You poor thing,” Janet said. “Were the women involved anyone I’ve met?”

  “No, and you aren’t likely to meet them,” Joan said. “They all live in Derby with their husbands, who are all chemists, I believe. Anyway, I’ve written down all of their names, and if any of them ever rings to book a room, I shall turn them away.”

  “Good for you,” Janet said. “We don’t want them staying here.”

  A knock on the front door interrupted the conversation. Joan winced at the loud noise. Janet went to see who was at the door.

  “Good morning,” Robert Parsons said when Janet opened the door. “I was hoping I might have a brief word with you and Joan.”