“No, of course not.” The words came automatically, but did he mean them in this case? Something about this situation bothered him. “I thought you said you hadn’t seen him since we cleaned out the chicken house.”
“That’s right. That was the last time until today.” She looked at him as if he’d confused her.
“Maybe two days after then?” He held his voice even with an effort. “Are there any other times you’ve forgotten?”
An emotion flashed through her eyes before she lowered her gaze. “There was one time I thought I saw him outside the church. It was my first Sunday here, right after the party. I think he was listening to the sermon. And I noticed him another time since then.”
Strange. He hadn’t seen him that first day, but now he was surer than ever he’d seen the man listening more recently. Maybe several times. Then there was the day he’d been snooping outside the house when Lily wasn’t home. He hadn’t mentioned those times to her because he hadn’t wanted to encourage whatever relationship she had with the man. As he realized he’d kept information from her, his anger at her omissions dissipated. Still, a beggar who spoke only to the woman of the house and ran when the man appeared? It didn’t seem natural, but more as if he knew Lily. He couldn’t figure it out, or do anything about it before dinner, and he was hungry. “Well, I’ll get to those carrots. It was nice of him to bring us venison.”
“Yes, I thought so too.” Lily’s smile had returned.
He didn’t mention their mysterious visitor the rest of the day, but that didn’t keep him from talking to the Lord about him. He couldn’t be with Lily or Grace all the time, but he needed to keep them safe. Still, if the man was honorable enough to repay venison for a chicken, maybe he wasn’t the threat he’d feared. His time might be better served in winning Lily’s heart. He’d already fallen for her, and she said she loved him, but if she did, would she continue to make excuses for a stranger who had become a pest?
He finished the carrots and added them to her pot of vegetables. Bending for a quick kiss, he left her to her work and went outside to walk around the yard, while his mind remained on his wife. He admired Lily’s enthusiasm in working with the women and around the house, and in the warmth and caring she showed not only Grace, but him. She was as perfect for him as he’d ever dreamed of getting, so why let this gnawing suspicion keep him from enjoying the gift of her presence? Without doubt, he believed God had sent her to him. She was his, and would soon settle down to be his alone.
~*~
Several days later, at breakfast, Lily watched Elliott scrape the last crumb of scrambled eggs from his plate and smiled. He seemed to enjoy everything she fixed, no matter what it was. When he looked up with a smile, her heart leapt to attention. He’d been especially attentive for the last couple of weeks. They’d either gone horseback riding or took long walks each evening just as the sun touched the western horizon. Kissing her husband with a breathtaking sunset in the background was more romantic than she could have ever dreamed. And that sort of reality beat daydreams any day of the year. She released a sigh at the memories. Surely life couldn’t be any better than the one she’d fallen into.
“Think you can come up with a dozen eggs, Lily?” Elliott’s question brought her back to the present.
She met his eyes and imagined them filled with love just for her. Lately, he’d told her he loved her more times than she could count, but how could he? He was wonderful. Better than she’d hoped for when she first saw him, and she loved him more than he could ever believe. “We’re going to town?”
She stood and stacked the breakfast dishes. They didn’t go into town every Saturday, so when they did, she became as excited as a child at Christmas. Even more excited than Grace. But living close enough to a settlement so it didn’t require a two-day round trip to shop was a luxury she wasn’t used to. For as long back as she could remember, she’d been lucky to get into town twice a year. Pa and JD usually picked up what they had to have when they went out on jobs. She’d been in Sweet Water more times in the last few months than she’d been in any town in her entire life. She doubted she’d ever get used to the fun and excitement of the simple journey into their small town. Or going into the mercantile and looking at all the pretty things. Buying extras wasn’t important, but she loved to look.
When Elliott’s arms slipped around her waist as she stood at the sink with her hands in soapsuds, she realized she hadn’t answered him. She leaned her head back against his shoulder when he nipped at her neck. Love for her husband rose to the surface in a feeling she never wanted to end.
“If you don’t want to go to town, we could always stay home.” He whispered in her ear.
She smiled, enjoying his closeness. “That sounds wonderful, but we can come home after we’ve been to town, can’t we?”
“If that’s what you want.”
“Grace would be disappointed if we didn’t go.”
“We wouldn’t want that.” As he turned her around to face him, she grabbed the dishtowel so he wouldn’t get wet. His arms tightened around her waist as hers lifted to encircle his neck. Their kiss was long and sweet.
She didn’t even care if Grace came back into the room and found them. All she wanted at that moment was Elliott’s love. A love she believed she possessed, even though it didn’t belong to her. She pulled back as soon as she could without seeming to and forced a smile for him. “I need to gather eggs and clean what’s in the cellar.” A glance at the sink reminded her of what she’d been doing. “Maybe I should finish these dishes first though.”
He chuckled and dropped a kiss on her nose. “You can finish while I gather eggs. When you’re done in here, we need to make a list of what we need.”
“Well, right now, I can’t think of a thing.” Despite the guilt that continued to tap her shoulder for attention, she lifted her lips for another kiss.
As that ended, Elliott grinned. “I can’t either. What did you want to go to town for, anyway?”
“We’re going to town?” Grace’s voice separated them. She hurried into the kitchen, seemingly unaware of what she’d interrupted. “We haven’t sold any eggs in a while. Do you want me to gather them?”
Lily and Elliott laughed, their voices blending. She turned back to her dishes while he motioned to their daughter. “Come on, I’ll help you.”
The smile on Lily’s face lasted until the door closed. That’s when her annoying conscience hovered in front of her face and got her attention. She didn’t want to give him up. “Why must I? I love him, and he loves me. Not the other Lily, but me. She doesn’t even want him. I do, so why is it wrong for me to stay here?” The words that rose from her heart sounded very much like a whine, even to her.
She knew their love wasn’t the issue. The real problem was in not telling Elliott the truth. But he hated lying as much as God did. She could tell when he preached about how wrong it was to live a life of sin, and the Bible said lying was a sin. Living as if everything was fine when deep inside she knew better. Taking what wasn’t hers was harder than she’d thought it would be. She bowed her head in defeat as a weight she couldn’t bear settled on her heart. She couldn’t go on living this way. Something had to change, but she didn’t know how to make it change for the right.
Chapter 11
Elliott opened the door to the mercantile and stepped back, letting Grace go first. Lily followed, looking about from one thing to another as soon as she stepped inside. There were so many pretty things. Most were useless to her, but she still loved to look.
Elliott touched her arm. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’ve never been in a store before. See anything you want?”
She turned quickly, startled, then laughed as she realized how she must have appeared. “Oh, no. I’m just looking.”
His grin teased. “I can see that. I’ll take the eggs back to the counter while you and Grace look around.”
“Please, let me do it.” She reached for the basket he carried. “I want t
o learn how, and this will be a good time.”
“Well, I do need to pick up a bag of chicken feed. If you’re sure you don’t mind.” He hesitated.
“I don’t mind, Elliott. I really want to.” She took them from him as he let go.
He stepped toward the door. “Be sure to ask if we have any mail. There should be some. It’s been a while since we checked.”
“I can do that.” She’d never sold eggs at the store before, but was sure she could. Papa or JD had always taken her eggs in before. Being with a man who wasn’t afraid to take her into public places was refreshing. When she was young she hadn’t understood, but later she realized Papa was afraid someone might recognize him or JD, and she would get hurt.
When she turned away, he touched her shoulder, stopping her and said, “I won’t be long.”
“That’s fine.” She hoped he wasn’t in a hurry to get home. “Take your time. Grace and I will find plenty to keep us occupied. Where did she go, anyway?”
“I believe the Langdon’s are here.” He nodded toward the far corner of the store. “Grace and Bethany are looking at dresses. She doesn’t need a new dress, does she?”
“We ladies can always use a new dress, but I think she has enough. I’m sure they’re just looking. That’s a big part of the fun of shopping.” She watched the two girls giggle together and smiled. “I wouldn’t worry about her wanting to buy anything. She’s like me, here to see who’s in town and what’s new.”
“Ladies!” Elliott shook his head. Will I ever understand you?”
“Probably not, so go get your chicken feed. Do the horses need anything?” Elliott was good enough to let her keep Sissy. Even though she’d supposedly bought her, she didn’t have money to pay for her keep.
“I think they’re fine for a few weeks. If we wait, you’ll get to come back and look around some more.” He grinned and winked then stepped outside, letting the door close behind him.
She watched him for a moment until a man and woman entered, blocking her view. She turned to the back then. They had barely enough to live on, but maybe there was something she could do to help. She’d ask the merchant if he could sell fresh baked goods, or maybe jams and jellies. She’d heard there were more men than women in Sweet Water, so it might be a good idea. If the answer was positive, she’d see what Elliott had to say about his wife selling more than eggs.
There were two customers in front of her, so she had to wait. The eggs were heavy, and she didn’t want to lose her place, so she stood behind a woman she didn’t know. They spoke briefly before the woman turned back around.
“Lily, I’m glad I ran into you.” The voice came from behind, and she turned to find Raylene Langdon smiling at her.
“Hello. I saw Bethany. Well, Grace saw her first, and they’ve been visiting since we came in. It’s good to see you. Are you buying out the store?” She smiled at the woman she now considered a friend.
Raylene smiled. “I might if I could. Something tells me John wouldn’t be happy with me if I tried, though. No, it’s just necessities this time.”
“I understand. It’s the same for me. Right now, I’m hoping to trade some eggs.” She glanced at the line. Only the woman she’d spoken to was in front of her now. “I wondered if jams or jellies would sell here.”
She’d spoken without thinking, but Raylene’s growing smile encouraged her. “You should ask. I’d think they’d sell fine if you don’t mind doing the work. Actually, I’d be interested in buying some. That’s a job I’ve never mastered, and have no interest in trying. Believe me, with four growing children we could go through more than you might think. I’ve been craving sweets lately too. Please, don’t tell anyone yet, but I think those four I mentioned may become five.”
Lily didn’t understand at first, then the sparkle in her friend’s eyes and her hand resting on her midsection explained. “Oh! Raylene, that’s wonderful. It is, isn’t it?”
“Oh, yes, it’s very wonderful. Give it a little time, and you’ll know for yourself.”
Would she? She hadn’t thought of children. There’d been so much else on her mind, she also hadn’t considered she might even now be with child and not know. But surely she would feel different somehow. However, other than the glow on her face, Raylene looked no different from the way she had the first day she’d met her. She couldn’t imagine ever giving birth, but responded as she imagined Raylene would expect, and if she was honest, the way she hoped. “Maybe someday I will. I’m just getting used to being married right now.”
“Miss, may I help you?” The clerk’s call was welcome, and she turned toward him.
“Yes, I have some eggs for trade.”
“Sure, let me see what you have.” He reached for the basket, and she lifted it to his waist-high counter.
While he opened the basket, she turned toward her friend. “I’m so glad I ran into you. I may come to you for advice someday.”
“I’d love that.” Raylene smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow at church.”
After she left, Lily turned back to watch the man inspect her eggs. She touched her stomach, her hand flat against her skirt, and wondered what it would be like to be with child. A deep longing to have Elliott’s baby filled her. But she couldn’t, not now. Not until she told him the truth.
“I can give you three dollars in trade. Will that be all right?” The clerk’s voice cut into her thoughts.
“Yes, that is fine. And could you check to see if we have any mail?” She told him hers and Elliott’s name, but was sure there would be nothing for her.
He made a notation on a pad of paper and checked the case behind him, then turned with several envelopes and handed them to her with a smile. “Looks like it’s been a while since you picked up your mail unless everyone wrote at the same time.”
“Yes, I guess so.” She took the letters and her basket, then turned away, thumbing through them. There was one from Elliott’s sister. She slipped it behind the others, then frowned at the next one. She stepped to the side, out of the way, and looked again. In the upper left-hand corner it simply said JD. No address, but that didn’t surprise her. What she didn’t understand was that he would write. Why not stop by as he’d done before? As she started to open his letter, she saw Elliott enter the store. Before he noticed, she slipped it into her skirt pocket and glanced at the third letter. Her breath caught when she read the return address. Rebecca Lily Stevens. Why would she write to Elliott now? What could she possibly want? Her fingers twitched to tear it open and find out, but Elliott would be upon her before she could. Her heart pounded from fear and guilt as she slid that letter into her pocket along with her derringer and the other one from JD.
What had she done? She could scarcely get her breath, and her legs refused to move. If only she could run away. She looked for Elliott again and saw he’d stopped near the front of the store. He and John Langdon seemed to be deep in conversation, giving her a moment to compose herself. She took several slow, deep breaths as she turned and looked at the knickknacks in the display beside her. So many things to dust. She wasn’t interested, but tried to appear so as she slowly brought her thoughts under control. The letters would keep. Obviously, she had to read Rebecca Lily’s before giving it to Elliott. The time had come for the truth. She had no choice now. As for JD, she didn’t know what to think. Something important must have happened for him to write. If only she could get out of the store and find a place alone to read the two letters.
“Lily.” Elliott’s voice sounded beside her.
She jerked and turned so quickly she stumbled. “Oh, you startled me.”
He caught her to keep her from falling. His brow creased in concern. “Are you all right?”
“Yes, I’m fine. I must have been concentrating too hard. I didn’t know you were here.” She tried to laugh as if it was nothing when instead her world was falling apart.
He glanced at the trinkets she’d been looking at. “If you found something you want, we could—”
“No!” She shook her head for emphasis. “No, I don’t want any.”
“If you’re sure.” He still seemed concerned.
She smiled as best she could. “I’m sure. Are you ready to go?”
“Not unless you are.” He glanced toward the front of the store. “I ran into John Langdon, and we got to talking about that window that needs replaced in the church. We thought we’d run out to the lumberyard and check prices. Maybe pick up a window while we’re there. But if you want to go home, we can do it another day.”
“No, you’re here now, and so is he. It would be silly to make the trip twice.” She looked around the store. Anywhere but into his kind eyes. “Besides, I haven’t had time to look around yet. This was my first stop. Oh, except for the eggs. We got three dollars for them. And you got a letter from your sister. Here it is.”
His eyes brightened as she shoved the letter she’d all but forgotten toward him. He took it and smiled before stuffing it into his coat pocket. “I’ll read it later when we get home.”
He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I’ll get out of your way and let you look to your heart’s content.”
She watched him until he and Mr. Langdon went out the door and felt as if he’d taken her heart with him. She didn’t deserve anyone as perfect as Elliott. He’d accepted her from the first never guessing she wasn’t the woman he’d asked for. He’d won her heart with his gentleness and patience. They’d courted on horseback and sitting together, swinging on the front porch or working in the yard. Everything they’d done together had drawn her closer to him. Her love had blossomed until she could never go back to the lonely girl she’d once been. He’d made her a mother by sharing his daughter with her. And Grace was so precious. She could never have a child of her own she would love any more.
A tear fell before she could stop it. She wiped her eyes and hoped no one had seen.
Stealing the Preacher's Heart Page 10