Catriona’s Secret

by Madeline Martin

  “You will be executed for murder.” Cat’s hands tugged at him now, making Gawain’s head limply roll back and forth against the tapestry.

  Death would be worth facing if it meant the bastard who defiled Cat was dead. The man didn’t deserve to be a knight.

  “I can’t lose you.” There was a breathless desperation to her voice that plunged through Geordie’s blind fury. He relaxed his hold.

  “Sir Geordie!” An authoritative male voice echoed down the hall, which was now brightly lit, but Geordie was already releasing Gawain.

  The man slid limply to the floor.

  “This man assaulted Lady Catriona,” Geordie said in a level voice.

  “He is for the castle guard to attend to.” Sir John put a hand on Geordie’s shoulder and squeezed.

  Geordie resisted the urge to shrug the man off. The gesture was well-meaning, even if it was unwelcome.

  “Looks like you beat him soundly enough.” Sir John nudged Gawain with his toe.

  Cat stepped forward. “That was me.” She lifted her right hand where the palm was smeared with Gawain’s blood. “It is as Sir Geordie said. Sir Gawain assaulted me.”

  Gawain coughed, then sucked in a choking gasp as his eyes flew open.

  Sir John looked away from the pathetic form of Gawain and fixed his gaze on Cat. “You’re the one who hit all those targets dead center with the bow and arrow, aye?”

  Cat nodded.

  Sir John nodded appreciatively. “I’d say this fool accosted the wrong lady.”

  Cat lifted her head with pride.

  Sir John glanced behind him to where a crowd of people had amassed and were staring at the scene. “I cannot say this was the ideal place to be meeting a man.” Sir John lifted his brows with the weight of his suggestion.

  Geordie tensed at the implication behind Sir John’s words, but Cat simply straightened and met the older man’s eyes.

  “I would like Sir Gawain arrested.” She delivered the demand with all the haughtiness one would expect from an earl’s daughter. “For assaulting me.” She touched a hand to her cheek and neck where the light coming in from the door illuminated her reddened skin.

  Geordie had not noticed her injuries until that moment. Horror swept through him. He wanted to wrap her in his arms, to soothe away all the hurt she’d endured. He wanted it as desperately as he wanted Gawain to get what he deserved.

  Sir John grabbed Gawain and hauled him to his feet. Gawain wavered, touching his throat as he gave a painful swallow.

  “Leave me be,” he croaked.

  “You’ve assaulted an earl’s daughter, Sir Gawain.” Sir John tightened his grip on the man’s doublet. “As the father of a daughter myself, I will ensure you face punishment for your actions.” Sir John glanced at the floor, and his eyes narrowed.

  Geordie followed his stare and found a dagger laying on the ground. Cat stepped toward it and covered the weapon with the sweep of her skirt. “Thank you, Sir John.”

  The large knight gave a hesitant nod. “I would recommend going the opposite direction.” With that, he dragged Sir Gawain toward the assembly of the feast where curious courtiers stared with fascination. The door to the great hall banged shut behind Sir John, plunging Geordie and Cat into near darkness. A metallic scrape of steel on stone told Geordie Cat had picked up her dagger.

  Geordie’s eyes adjusted to the dim light. “Let us get you to your room.” He reached for her shoulders to lead her in the opposite direction, as Sir John had suggested.

  “Your feast,” Cat said miserably.

  Geordie led her down the corridor. “It is over.”

  Admittedly, this was not how he had anticipated the night of his feast ending. But he had saved Cat from a man who meant her harm. He squeezed Cat’s shoulders a little more firmly, confirming to himself she was safe.

  “Where is Freya?” he asked. “Why was she not with you?”

  “I told her not to come.”

  Geordie led her up the back stairs, usually reserved for servants. If nothing else, it would keep them from the prying eyes of the courtiers. And there would be prying eyes, digging in to find fodder for gossip.

  So many questions fired through his mind. Why had she told Freya not to come? What had she hoped to gain from speaking to Sir Gawain on her own? But he held all these questions back lest someone overhear them. He wanted the conversation with Cat to be private, to get the full truth from her.

  Of one thing he was entirely certain–she had not gone to the empty corridor for a tryst.

  Geordie walked Cat to her rooms. Blessedly, they saw no other souls on their way. As suspected, most were still at the feast and not roaming the halls.

  He stopped in front of the door to Lord Calville’s apartments, where Cat was staying. She did not make a move to enter to room. Instead, she looked up at Geordie, her eyes large in her slender face. The mark at her neck had begun to fade, but the injury on her cheek was still red.

  “You have questions,” Cat said softly.

  Geordie swallowed them down. “You’ve had a trying night…”

  “Come in with me.” She reached out a hand and took his. “Please.”

  “You needn’t tell me anything you do not wish to.”

  Cat put her free hand on the door latch. “I believe it must be said.”

  She opened the door and pulled him inside.

  20

  Cat knew she shouldn’t be alone in the royally appointed apartments with Geordie. But after having the court see her with Sir Gawain in the hall, and after everything that had transpired, what did it even matter anymore?

  A fire had been lit in the hearth by one of the castle’s many servants. The cheery glow and the snapping of the flames were a stark contrast to the cold hollowness within her chest. While walking up to the room, she had been determined to tell Geordie everything that had happened that terrible night.

  Now that he was here, now that they were alone, it was all too much. Too shameful.

  She watched tongues of fire lick over logs and tried to ignore the weight of his presence.

  Geordie, who had always been so adept at reading her moods, gently rubbed his thumb where their hands were joined. “Cat, you don’t have to do this.”

  But she did. This was Geordie. The only person who knew everything about her. Everything, except this one thing that had kept the love between them from being able to blossom.

  “Sir Gawain will be punished for what he’s done,” Cat said.

  Geordie nodded.

  “And you will doubtless be watched around him to ensure you do not do anything foolish,” she surmised. Like kill Sir Gawain and ruin his entire life.

  Geordie’s gaze slid away with displeasure. It was as much of an agreement as she’d likely receive.

  “I can only tell you all of this now, if I know it will be impossible for you to kill Sir Gawain.” She clenched her teeth at the word “impossible,” for nothing was so when it came to Geordie.

  “It would be exceptionally difficult,” he conceded.

  Cat nodded, unable to speak for a moment, as her heart was lodged firmly in her throat.

  “He’s the father of your babe, isn’t he?” Geordie asked.

  “Aye.” Cat swallowed. “I tried to get him to accept it as his, to help me figure out what to do. In truth, confronting him was my sole reason for coming to court.”

  Geordie furrowed his brows. “Tristan?”

  Cat shook her head. “I had hoped not to meet him. I anticipated Sir Gawain would be here, that I could speak with him, get his assistance in finding a solution for the babe, stay in my room until the night of your feast and then leave. But Sir Gawain was gone until just this evening and I had no choice when I was introduced to Tristan.”

  “Then you don’t love him?”

  “Tristan?” Cat smiled affectionately at the thought of her new dear friend. “Nay, there would never be love between us. He is simply a friend. Our affections both lie elsewhere.”

 
; Geordie gave her a shy smile that told her he liked her answer.

  “I got Sir Gawain alone as quickly as I could.” She gave a mirthless laugh. “He refused to help, of course. He accused me of having been with half the court. Which I have not.” She emphasized the last words. “It didn’t go well, to say the least.”

  “I presume you do not love Sir Gawain.”

  Cat turned her stare back to the fire. This would be the hardest piece to confess: her own responsibility in the mess of it all. The flames blurred before her, and a choked sob rose up in her throat. “Oh, Geordie. I was one of those empty-headed women who foolishly fell prey to a man at court.”

  Geordie put his strong arms around her and squeezed. “Jesu, Cat. I never should have said that. I…I was so angry about you wanting to go to court to meet someone who would take you out of my life that I said cruel things. I had no idea…I didn’t mean…” He turned her face toward him and gazed down at her. “You are not an empty-headed woman. You are strong and beautiful and clever and it’s for all those reasons and so many more that I love you.”

  Cat smiled sadly at the kindness of his words. “But I was one of those empty-headed women, Geordie.” She looked down at where he still rubbed his thumb over their joined hands. “I’ve been the little sister for so long, always overlooked. Coming to court was so exciting. I wasn’t overlooked but regarded as an eligible lady. Men flirted with me, and I was giddy with the attention.” She closed her eyes. “I didn’t know you loved me, not like this. If I’d known that, if I’d known you would return, that you had plans to wed me…”

  “You didn’t know,” Geordie said. “I should have told you, but I wanted to be with you when I said the words. I wanted to have everything ready for you to become my wife.”

  A hot tear tickled down Cat’s cheek and she had to pause a moment to collect herself before continuing. “I drank too much wine that night. Sir Gawain continued to fill my cup. My head spun and I knew it was too much, that I should have stopped.” She released her hold on Geordie and put palms to her burning cheeks. “So many times that night I should have stopped or turned away. Like when I knew I drank too much, or when he led me into the alcove, or when he kissed me.”

  Geordie gently took hold of her hands and lowered them from her face. “He knew perfectly well what he was doing, Cat. You’ve always been so trusting.”

  “Too trusting.” She sniffed.

  “Aye, and he took advantage of that.” Geordie ran his finger over her cheek with such tenderness, it nearly broke her heart.

  “It all felt so wrong.” She drew in a shuddering breath. “When he…touched me.” She closed her eyes again, unable to look at Geordie. “I knew it was wrong, but I was so surprised, I-I didn’t say stop until it was too late.”

  Geordie stiffened. “You told him to stop.”

  “Before he…” She grimaced.

  “You told him to stop and he continued?” There was a hard edge to Geordie’s voice.

  “I was not blameless.” Cat shook her head. “I went willingly with him. He was right when he’d said I’d flirted with him, teased him. I didn’t stop him when he put his hands under my skirt.”

  “But you told him to stop after, and he didn’t,” Geordie ground out. “Cat, he raped you.”

  Tears flooded her eyes then, and all of her hurt with them in soul-shattering sobs: the shame, the sorrow, the unfairness.

  Geordie caught her in his arms and let her cry against his chest, never once uttering a word. He didn’t have to. She could feel his rage in the hammering of his heart against her cheek, in the way he gathered her to him as though he could form a protective shell around her and never let her experience pain again.

  “This isn’t your fault, Cat.” He whispered those words in her ear again and again and again, while smoothing her hair.

  It only made her cry harder at first. But after the truth of those words sank in, the anger towards Sir Gawain took over, white hot and deep. She recalled asking Geordie to stop when they kissed at the abandoned cottage, after she’d stitched his wound closed, and he had.

  Immediately.

  Without question or argument.

  Sir Gawain had not only countered her protests with persuasions, he had ignored them. Stolen what he wanted, then had the temerity to put the blame on her shoulders. And she’d accepted it, bearing the burden of the heavy cloak of shame.

  Cat pushed her head into Geordie’s chest and growled through clenched teeth. “He took everything from me.”

  “Cat—”

  She pulled from his arms, anger induced energy lashing through her, unspent and wild. “He took my innocence, he took my joy, he took away my future.” Her heart crumpled as she regarded Geordie. “He took you.”

  Geordie shook his head. “Never.” He caught her face in his hands so their eyes locked. “No one will ever take you from me.”

  “I’m carrying a married man’s babe in my belly. A married man who wants nothing to do with it.” Cat pulled from Geordie’s touch. “I have no idea what to do with this child, and I cannot bring myself to drink the tea Leila gave me.”

  “Nay, do not drink the tea.” Geordie knelt on the ground in front of her. “Catriona Barrington, love of my life, will you do me the immense honor of not only allowing me to marry you…” Slowly, purposefully, he lifted his hands to gently touch her lower stomach. “But also giving me the pleasure and joy of raising this child with you, together, as our own?”

  Geordie remained on his knees before Cat, his hands gently cradling her small stomach. She blinked down at him.

  “Will you marry me?” Geordie asked again.

  “This child may look like Sir Gawain.” Despite her protest, she put her hands over his, securing his touch. Her stomach was firm and slightly rounded beneath his palms, filled with a growing new life.

  “It is possible for a man to love a child who is not his own,” Geordie said with the whole of his heart. “When he loves the mother enough to see past the violence of the child’s creation and the man of his or her making.”

  He was referring, of course, to Lord Werrick and his love for Leila. Cat’s youngest sister had not only been the result of a terrible assault on Lady Werrick when the castle was taken eighteen years prior, but Leila’s birth had killed Lady Werrick. And still, Lord Werrick had loved Leila as his own.

  It was not something Geordie had fully understood until Cat had first told him she was with child, until this moment when he knew she truly did love him, and not another. He realized then he would love the child she bore with as much of his heart as he loved Cat.

  Recognition of his intent showed in her eyes. “Are you certain, Geordie?”

  He bowed his head toward the woman he loved, gently resting his forehead against their joined hands cradling what would be their child. “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.”

  “Aye.”

  Geordie snapped his head up to regard Cat, certain that he had heard her incorrectly. Had she finally, truly accepted his offer of marriage? “Aye?” he repeated hesitantly.

  She nodded, her face splitting into a wide smile. “Aye, Geordie. I will happily marry you.”

  He leapt to his feet and caught her in his arms.

  The door opened suddenly, and Freya stepped into the room. Geordie froze with Cat in his arms. Freya gasped and slammed the door behind her lest someone in the hall see.

  Geordie quickly released Cat and stepped away.

  “My lady.” She bobbed a quick curtsey and nodded respectfully in Geordie’s direction. “I’ve been looking for you, Lady Catriona. I heard of the commotion and wanted to ensure you were well.” Her face went red. “Now that I have confirmed as much, I shall assist with the clean-up from the feast.”

  “Freya.” Cat beamed at her maid, who hesitated at the door. “Sir Geordie and I will be getting married.”

  A smile spread over Freya’s face. “In that case, I shall leave you to celebrate.” She paused once more. “An
d if you don’t mind me saying my lady, ’tis about time.” She threw a grin over her shoulder and was gone in a flash, with the door securely closed and locked behind her.

  Geordie went to Cat once more and ran his hand down her cheek. “You’ve made me so happy.”

  “As you have me.” She searched his gaze intensely. “You must promise me one thing.”

  “Anything,” he vowed.

  “Promise me you will not try to kill Gawain,” Cat said fiercely.

  Extreme love for Cat warred with extreme hate for the man who had hurt her, leaving Geordie cautious to answer. He would be watched around the other man going forward. Mayhap Gawain would lose his knighthood. It was possible Geordie might never see the man again in his life.

  But then, he might. And he could be presented with the perfect opportunity to end the bastard’s life. To exact revenge for Cat.

  “I thought I had given you up forever when I had to turn you away,” Cat said, interrupting his thoughts. “I couldn’t tell you because I knew you’d kill him the first chance you got. I have trusted you with what I’ve confessed. And I cannot bear the idea of you being removed from my life forever in punishment for murdering him. I’m begging you to love your family more than you hate him.”

  His family. What he had always wanted and never truly had. Now he would have a wife and child, as well as a mother who cared greatly for him. In these few short days, he had been given everything. The power of love would have to outweigh the force of his hate.

  Geordie nodded, realizing for the first time what revenge would truly cost him.

  “I’ll never do anything to lose you.” He pulled her closer. “Not even kill a man who fully deserves it.”

  “Thank you.” She tilted her face up, rising higher as she did so to brush her mouth against his. “Thank you, Geordie.”

  Her lips were as soft as rose petals and sweeter than any honey his tongue had ever tasted, for she was his. His woman. His wife. His family.

  He eased his hand behind her head, wishing the stiffly plaited braids were loose and her hair was flowing around her like she wore it at Werrick Castle, so he could run his fingers through the silkiness of it. The tender kisses, however, were not enough, and he deepened them to something more possessive.