The restaurant that Elias decided we should go to is a cute little German place that has a deck overlooking the river. When I step inside, checking in on our reservation, I feel like I’m extremely overdressed.
I’d gotten used to the fancy New York restaurants where I always felt underdressed. I forgot how different it is down here.
The hostess leads me towards the reserved table, one right by the side of the deck that has a perfect view of the river, and I find myself waiting. I’ve never had to wait on a date before and I’m not sure how I feel about it.
While I wait, I start to worry about Lucy. I’ve never left her with someone other than my mother before. I wonder if she’s adjusting okay, whether she’s eating dinner or not. I wonder if Oliver’s handling it all okay. I remember that I didn’t tell him how much she hates getting water in her face when someone washes her hair.
Just as I go to pull my phone out of my bag to text him, I see the hostess leading someone in my direction. I assume that it’s Elias. He’s taller than I expected, with short blonde hair, so light that it almost looks like it was bleached.
“Cassidy,” he introduces himself as the hostess walks away, extending a polite hand in my direction. When he speaks, I don’t notice the tell-tale southern accent, and I’m instantly curious as to where he’s from.
“Elias, I presume,” I say, taking his hand in my own. I shake it gently before we both sit down at the table.
“That’s me. Neil and Paula told me that you were pretty, but God, did they undersell you,” he lays the charm on thick and I feel myself falling for it.
Maybe it’s because it’s been a while since I’ve been charmed, or maybe I’m just blinded by his good looks.
I know nothing about Elias other than the fact he’s gorgeous and works in marketing. Neil didn’t give me a quick rundown of his personality, so I don’t know what is or isn’t off the table.
I try my luck and make a joke, “Neil didn’t tell me you had a thing for showing up late. Like all the attention on you?”
And then I brace myself.
Men can be fragile. I brace myself for Elias taking the joke the wrong way or thinking I’m being rude. While I’m not used to being the first one at a restaurant, it’s not an absolute deal breaker.
He offers a sheepish smile, “I promise I’m not usually late. Would you believe me if I told you I stopped to help this poor old widow who was broken down on the side of the road?”
Laughing, I respond, “Lying doesn’t earn you any brownie points, Elias.”
“You’re right. I’ll just be honest then. I haven’t been on a date in ages and I was nervous, so I probably spent too long getting ready.”
“Honesty earns you brownie points, keep that in mind.” I wink at him.
Conversation over dinner ebbs and flows as we begin to learn about one another. I find out that Elias is actually from Ohio and moved down here when Neil reached out to him personally to offer him a position at Crosby. I learn that he still has issues driving around mountain curves and has a habit of tapping the bottom of his wine glass as he listens to somebody talk.
I don’t hold back on anything. I tell him all about Lucy and that I worked in New York for a bit. I admit that if you search me on the internet, you’ll probably come up with some interesting articles. I tell him how much I hate Italian food because I had a bad experience with it before Lucy was born and Elias says he finds the way I scrunch my nose up when I’m thinking about something adorable.
I don’t remember what it’s like to be on a first date where things feel easy, but that’s how this all feels. So easy. I don’t feel pressured to be something that I’m not and Elias doesn’t make me feel unnerved when he looks at me.
Dinner goes so well that after he pays, he looks at me and asks, “Do you want to walk along the river? Just for a bit? I don’t think I’m ready for this night to be over yet.”
A smile finds its way onto my face as I nod,
“I’m so glad you said something because I wasn’t either.”
Chapter Fifteen
Oliver
After dinner, I grab some blankets from the storage closet in the hallway and toss them onto the couch. I put one of the movies that Cassidy brought over for Lucy to watch on and I take a seat on the couch, giving Lucy plenty of time to decide whether or not she wants to watch with me.
I don’t have much time to watch movies. I don’t know if what we’re watching is a new release or not, but as soon as the theme music starts to play, Lucy hops up onto the couch, stuffed whale in hand.
I try not to think about who Cassidy is with or what she’s doing. I’ve dealt with her dating someone else before, but Lucy wasn’t in the picture. I hadn’t realized what an idiot I was then for letting her walk away. I felt like I had more control over that situation.
Now, I definitely don’t. I feel completely out of control. What am I supposed to do? Tell her that I’m not okay with her dating somebody else? I was out of her life for three years. I’m surprised she’s not engaged or married.
Halfway through the movie, which has held my interest more than I expected, I feel small hands maneuvering the blanket around me. Lucy has crawled across the couch and has curled herself into my side.
My heart flutters in my chest. For the first time, I really feel like her father. Careful, as not to make her uncomfortable, I reach out and wrap my arm around her, pulling her close. Lucy seems to relax against me, and we continue to watch the movie. I let the worries about Cassidy and whatever she’s doing on her date disappear from my mind.
Just as the movie’s coming to a close, I hear a soft snore coming from my side. Looking down, Lucy has clearly fallen asleep and I feel my heart go weak all over again. The longer I’m around her, the easier I feel myself falling into the role of being a father.
I let the credits play out, waiting to see if Lucy’s going to stir awake – she doesn’t. I shift carefully, moving as to not disturb her. I scoop her up into my arms and Lucy’s still snoring. She’s out.
I hope Cassidy can forgive me if I let bath time slide or if I don’t get her into pajamas, but she’s clearly tired. I’d feel awful if I were to disturb her. I walk to one of the guest rooms with a twin size bed and maneuver everything as carefully as possible. Still holding Lucy, moving carefully not to disturb her, and turn down the covers at the same time.
I tuck her in, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. I dim the lights in the room but refuse to turn them off completely, not wanting Lucy to wake up in a fright. I walk back out to the living room and settle back on the couch.
I think I could get used to this.
About two hours later, I hear the gravel crunch in the driveway, signaling Cassidy’s arrival. Lucy hasn’t stirred since I put her down, but I’ve been checking on her every twenty minutes or so. A car door closes, and I feel anxiety rise in my chest again.
I’m out of my element here. I’m scared that Cassidy is going to hate the way that I’ve handled Lucy. What if she’s upset that I put her to bed so early? Or what if dinner wasn’t healthy enough?
And then the fears about her date come back into the picture. I don’t want to hear about it, but is it rude not to ask? What if it went awful? Or even worse, what if it went well?
I hate that I feel out of character. I’m not insecure. I’m not jealous. I’m not anxious – but Cassidy changes me. She stirs things within me that I don’t recall feeling before. That’s how I know how real things are between the two of us.
The front door creaks as it opens, high heels clicking against the wooden floor of the cabin. I turn to look at her and Cassidy is glowing. She looks happier than she did when she left. It’s like a stab in the gut, a hot knife twisting into the skin.
“Hey,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper. “Lucy asleep?”
I turn my body on the couch, arm draping over the back as I look at her.
“She knocked out about two hours ago. We were watching a movie and she was
snoring before it finished.”
She laughs, “Yeah, she struggles to make it through movies this late. It’s my usual go-to when she doesn’t want to go to bed.”
“We didn’t get bath time in; I hope that’s okay.”
She waves a hand dismissively, “Yeah, I can handle that in the morning.”
Silence settles over the room and I know that I should ask how her evening was. I know that I’m supposed to ask how the date went, but I don’t want to. I don’t want to hear all about it.
But I’m not here for me. I’m here for Cassidy, I’m here for Lucy, I’m here to prove that I’m a better man than I’ve been.
“How did the date go?” I ask, hoping I don’t sound too indifferent.
Cassidy walks over to the couch, sitting on the end opposite of me. It feels familiar, yet not at the same time. She puts her face in her hands for a minute and I instantly assume the worst. She got stood up, the guy was an asshole. But then I remember that glow she had about her, the look that things were all magical tonight.
The knife twists inside of me again.
When she looks up, running a hand through her curls and brushing them from her face, I see that smile. It’s the same smile that I always hoped was reserved for me. It’s the smile that can light up a room, or make a man feel like everything is right in the world. It’s the smile that tells me I’ve lost every chance I wish I had with her.
“It was...amazing,” she finally says. Her voice has that dreamy quality about it, the one that some women take on when they’re swooning over somebody. “I didn’t expect a lot, honestly. I didn’t expect to even like the guy...but I was pleasantly surprised.”
Am I a bad person because I would have preferred it all to go horribly?
I don’t wish bad things for Cassidy, but I wish that I could magically fix things between the two of us. I wish I had a proper chance before she moved on.
I try to keep a straight face, try to smile at her like I’m happy. Because despite my own misery, I am. I’m happy that she’s happy. That’s all that matters, right?
“I’m glad you had a good night,” I tell her. “Honestly. He’s a good guy, right?”
“I mean, I’ve been on one blind date with him, Oliver. There’s only so much you can learn, but I think he is. I think he’s a good one,”
“Good, you deserve it.”
That awkwardness settles between the two of us again. This time I don’t think there are words that can fix that. I don’t think anything I say will feel right at the moment. I think I have to settle with this awkward silence between the two of us.
“Mind helping me get Lucy out to the car? I can pick up her stuff if you want to get her...”
“Yeah, I can do that.”
I’m thankful for the escape from the conversation that we’re having. I stand from the couch and walk to the spare bedroom where Lucy is still curled up on the bed, tucked tightly underneath the blankets.
I reach down and scoop her up carefully.
She stirs in my arms, looking up at me with barely open eyes and heavy eyelids.
“Oliver?”
“Your mom’s back, kiddo. We’re going to get you in your car seat and on your way home, alright?”
“Okay, Oliver,” she says, leaning into my chest.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt more love for anyone in my life. This is the first time I’m really realizing it. I love Lucy. I’ve loved her before I even met her and despite me being away for so long, nothing has ever changed. I love her. She’s what’s been missing from my life for so long.
I take a second to linger in the bedroom, staring down as her hands grip my shirt. I want to remember this moment forever. Savor it. Keep it with me for when I ultimately have to go back to New York, alone and empty-handed.
I carry Lucy out of the bedroom, back out to where Cassidy is waiting by the front door.
“She’s only slightly awake,” I tell her, walking her out to where the car is waiting.
“That’s perfectly fine. It just means that hopefully, she’ll crash when we get home and she’ll sleep in tomorrow.”
Cassidy opens the car door, making it easier to put Lucy into her car seat. I buckle her in, taking time to look back at Cassidy to double-check that I did it right. When she nods, I take it as I did and step back.
“Thank you for watching her tonight, Oliver. It means a lot to me.”
I shake my head. I want to mention how she’s my daughter. It’s part of my job to watch her, but I know that it’s not my place to mention it right now. Especially where Lucy could hear.
“Don’t mention it, Cassidy. Any time.”
“I’ll be in touch,” she promises with a smile.
“I’ll be counting on it.”
I watch as she drives away, wishing that things could have been different.
Chapter Sixteen
Cassidy
I feel like I’m on such a high. It’s been so long since I felt that magical connection with another person. When I’m with Elias, I feel like I’m the only girl in the world. He makes me feel special. We text constantly during the day, always trying to steal a moment together. We usually grab lunch together at work, he stops by my office just to say ‘hi’ and sometimes we go out before I pick Lucy up from my mom’s.
I know it hasn’t been long, but I feel like I’m really falling for the guy. It all feels so new, I’ve never had to navigate motherhood and a relationship before, but I think I’m managing pretty well. Elias and I are getting serious, fast. I think I’m going to have to take the step of introducing Lucy to him sometime soon.
Is that something I should talk to Oliver about? He’s still Lucy’s father and I know I wouldn’t feel comfortable if he were to bring a random woman around her, but he hasn’t really been a part of her life. Lucy doesn’t even know that he’s her father yet.
It’s a Friday night and Elias and I are at a small brewery downtown, sitting on their rooftop patio. He’s bought a pitcher for our table, and we’re just sitting around, chatting.
“I’m working on pitching a new commercial,” he says, casually talking about work. “I have a good idea about what will interest people, but I’m still waiting on Neil’s approval before I progress it. Does he always take forever?”
“Sometimes,” I say, taking a sip from my glass.
I’m not a beer drinker, but it’s not bad. This was Elias’ idea of a date spot. Now that I think about it, he chooses most dates.
“I’m not used to that. My last boss approved things within a day. I guess things go a bit slower in a small town,” he says as he pours more beer into his glass.
“Yeah. People usually aren’t in a hurry around here. I know things moved quickly in New York too.”
“I’m still jealous that you got to work in New York, it’s the dream.”
“You don’t plan on sticking around here long?”
He shrugs, “As long as Neil keeps paying well, I think I’ll stick around but if an opportunity comes up...I can’t say that I won’t take it.”
I don’t blame him. I know we’re still new. I know that we’re still learning about one another, but I hope that opportunity doesn’t come up. I haven’t met a guy that gets me as Elias does in a long time. I don’t want that taken from me because of New York.
“I get it. That’s why I jumped on that job offer as quickly as I did.”
Elias goes up to get us another pitcher. I brace myself to continue drinking more beer that I’m not a huge fan of.
When he returns to our table, he sits the pitcher between the two of us.
“So, does your mom have your daughter for just a bit tonight or all night?”
“She’s just watching her for a little,” I say.
Elias nods, things fall silent between us.
I’m sitting on a very serious question, but I find that I’m unsure of how exactly to ask it. I want to know if he thinks we’re in the place where he should meet Lucy. We’re clearly getting serio
us and she’s a big part of my life. I need to know if she can be a part of his life as well.
“So, Elias, I was wondering...do you want to grab breakfast with Lucy and me tomorrow? It’d give you two a chance to meet one another and –”
He cuts me off. His expression is something that I’ve never really seen on his face before.
“Cassidy, I really like you,” he says. “I like being around you. I mean, you’re funny, you’re smart, you’re a knockout. I think what we have is special but...I’m not looking to be a stepfather.”
“But...you knew that I had a kid, from the very beginning, Neil even told you when he set us up.”
“Yeah...I knew you have a daughter. I love kids. I respect your choice to raise her alone, but I want to keep things fun between the two of us. I don’t want to make things all messy and try to be something I’m not.”
I feel like I’ve wasted the last few weeks of my life. All the lunches, the extra time I’ve spent away from Lucy. All of it has been a waste because this wasn’t as serious to Elias. This was just fun.
I pick up my glass of beer, chugging the rest of it. It turns my stomach, but I force it down.
“Gotcha. Fun. Well, this was fun, Elias, but I think I should get going.”
“Cassidy?”
I stand up from the table, forcing myself to look at him. It’s like the rose-colored glasses melt away. I’m angry. I’m hurt. I liked him, a lot. I spent the time I could have been spending with my daughter with him. I took a damn chance and clearly that was a mistake.
“We’ll keep it fun, Elias, like you said. I should get going though. Have a good night.” I snap as I gather my things.
I’m overreacting. I have to be overreacting. The worst part is that I’m aware that I’m likely overreacting. I hardly know Elias. But it was the inference that I’m just with him to try to give Lucy a stepfather or that I automatically want him to jump into her life. I just thought that they should meet.
Is that so wrong?
I hear Elias calling my name as I storm down the stairs of the brewery, but I ignore him. I storm through the rest of the building and to my car, getting inside and slamming the door behind me.
Fake Love Rich Boss Series Page 39