“Probably this weekend. I’ll let you know tomorrow.”
“Thank you,” he starts to walk towards the door, spinning on his heel to look at me before opening the front door.
“Good night Cassidy.”
I feel like this is all new again. I feel brought back to years before when we were just getting to know one another.
Good nights from Oliver always ended up with kisses, or the desire to kiss him. There’s something about the way the words leave his lips, coming out in a purr rather than a simple sentence. I could chalk that up to his flirty nature, or I could just take the time to swoon over it.
It’s ironic. Despite how much I know we cannot get back together, despite the lack of trust and the lack of well, everything else between the two of us, I still want to kiss him. I want to close the distance between the two of us and feel his lips on mine once again.
Instead, I make sure my feet are firmly planted on the floor, that way they can’t tempt me to close this gap between the two of us.
“Good night, Oliver.”
I’ve never been more thankful that I didn’t kiss somebody. Despite how prevalent the temptation was last night, I defeated it, and I’m a better person because of it. I know that if I were to kiss Oliver, it would just make things so much messier than they already were. It wouldn’t be good for Lucy to get wrapped up in the drama that usually follows Oliver and myself.
I’m sitting at my desk at work, counting the minutes on the clock until the work day is over and I’m free for the weekend. I’ve been trying to think of a reason Oliver could see Lucy again this weekend, but I don’t want it to become too commonplace. I don’t want to see him every day, but he deserves time with his daughter.
My nails tap against the bottom of my keyboard, lost in thought as I rack my brain for something we could do this weekend, something that would make sense for Oliver to come with us.
“You know, normally you type on the keys.”
I look up to see Neil leaning in the doorway of my office, arms crossed over his chest.
“I’m not having dinner with Michael, Neil. We’ve already spoken. We’re just friends. Don’t you get that?”
“This isn’t about Michael, Cassidy.”
I’m suddenly paying attention. If it’s not about Michael, perhaps it’s about work. Maybe my job isn’t going to be utterly boring for once. Maybe there’s some scandal that I’m going to have to fix.
“I’m listening,” I say as I swirl my chair to face him.
“We just hired a new guy. Not a construction worker. He’s going to be working in our marketing department, his name’s Elias. Are you interested?”
I’m dumbfounded. At any other workplace, the boss constantly trying to set up his employee would be seen as weird, maybe even borderline harassment. I’m not offended by what Neil’s trying to do, but I am a little tired of it. I can find my own date if I so choose.
“Neil.”
“Before you say ‘no’ Cassidy, give it a chance. It’ll be one dinner date and that’s it. If you don’t like the guy, I promise that I’ll stop completely. Paula made me promise. I just want to see you happy. Plus, I really think you’ll like Elias. He seems like your type.”
“Neil, how in the hell do you know what my type is?”
“Cassidy, we all know who your ex is. You clearly have a type. Trust me when I say Elias matches that.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask but get no answer as Neil pushes off the wall and walks away.
Well, this sucks.
Neil arranged for my ‘blind date’ with Elias to be Saturday night.
Saturday night is when my mom goes out with her friends for her weekly girl’s night.
I know that if I were to ask, she would give it up immediately. Anything to get to spend more time with her granddaughter and to ensure that I wouldn’t be getting back together with Oliver.
But my mom deserves all the time in the world to herself. Realization dawns on me that I have one other option, one other person that I trust to watch Lucy.
So, Friday evening, as I sit in my mom’s driveway, about to pick up Lucy, I send a text that I don’t want to send.
‘What’s the address to your cabin?’
I don’t know why this date is so important to me. Maybe it’s to prove to myself that I am over Oliver. Maybe it’s to prove that I’m willing to give love a shot if it were to walk in my direction.
Maybe I’m just being stubborn, trying to convince myself that love is out there for me and it’s not in the form of Oliver Windsor.
I get a text back from Oliver a few seconds later, the address to his cabin and a simple ‘why?’
‘I’m coming over.’
I plug the address into my GPS and pull out of my mom’s driveway, heading in that direction. On the way, I call my mom and tell her that something came up at work and I had to head back to the office for a little bit.
I make a mental note to pick her up a gift for dealing with me as she does.
The cabin that Oliver has rented isn’t too far out of the city. It’s not even on the worst backroads that the area has to offer. It’s a pretty easy drive. I find it without a problem, pulling into the driveway and getting out of the car.
I don’t know how I’m going to ask this of him. It’s a ridiculous request, especially to my ex, but I think it works out for the best for both of us. It gives him time to spend with Lucy, and it gives me a chance to do something for myself.
I just hope it doesn’t start an argument.
As soon as I’m out of the car, the front door to the cabin swings open. Oliver stands there in a white t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants, his hair hasn’t been brushed all day.
“Everything alright?” he asks, worry crossing his features.
“Everything is fine,” I assure him. “I just have to ask you for a favor.”
“Do you want to come in first?”
“Yeah, yeah. I think that’s a good idea.”
I shove my car keys into my purse and follow him into his cabin.
The cabin is huge. The living room has black leather furniture, a sleek fireplace, an updated flat-screen TV, and a brick accent wall. It feels home-ier than any cabin that I’ve been in before.
Oliver falls onto one end of the couch and I allow myself to fall back on the other end.
“What’s up, Cassidy?” he asks.
I notice that he doesn’t quite make eye contact when he asks like he’s worried about something. And I get it. I came over here unannounced after a night that didn’t end entirely pleasantly.
It looks like I took a page out of Oliver’s playbook.
“It’s nothing huge. At least, nothing bad. I was just wondering...would you be willing to watch Lucy tomorrow night? She likes you and I wouldn’t leave her with just any stranger, but you’re her father.”
Oliver’s eyes are wide. He blinks slowly at me before repeating what I just said.
“You want me to babysit Lucy tomorrow night?”
For a moment, I think he’s going to tell me ‘no’. I know that it’s a huge step from where we’ve been sitting with this relationship. It’ll be his first time alone with Lucy.
Finally, Oliver continues what he was saying, “Absolutely.”
That was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I lean back onto the plush couch, feeling the stress melt off of me. Going on this date isn’t that important to me...or it shouldn’t be. I don’t even know the guy that Neil set me up with.
“Thank you.”
“Can I ask why? Is everything alright?”
Now, I can choose to tell Oliver the truth, or I could choose to make up some lie about why I need a babysitter. But we’re trying to rebuild our relationship for Lucy’s sake. I shouldn’t start the foundation for that on lies.
“Everything’s fine. It’s just...my boss set me up on a blind date.”
I realize how ridiculous that sounds when I say that out loud.
&nbs
p; I try to read Oliver’s face when I tell him the truth, but it’s an unreadable mask. I hate that about him, but I know that means something is on his mind. Whenever Oliver doesn’t want to reveal his emotions, he goes straight to being unreadable to everyone around him.
“Oh,” he says.
“Yeah. He promised that this is the last time he’ll try to set me up with someone if this doesn’t pan out, so I figured I’d take him up on the offer.”
Why am I telling him all of this information? He just asked a simple question.
Oliver shakes his head, “Yeah, I get it. Don’t you find it a bit weird that your boss is trying to set you up on blind dates? Imagine if I did that. Or worse, what if Alan did that?”
“Alan did convince me to pretend that we were in a relationship to make my pregnancy more palatable for the public.”
“That’s different.”
“Is it? Because I think that’s a little bit weirder than just setting me up on a date.”
“Touché, I guess. Anyway, yeah, I’ll watch her tomorrow. Just let me know when and I’ll be ready.”
I breathe a sigh of relief.
“Thank you, Oliver. I truly appreciate it.”
“Not a problem, Cassidy. I’m just excited to spend some time with Lucy.”
When I leave Oliver’s, I can’t help but feel ridiculously guilty, like I’ve done something wrong. He seemed alright with it, and I have to move on sometime, right? Besides, it’s just one date.
What harm could that do?
Chapter Thirteen
Oliver
I shouldn’t be bothered by Cassidy going on a date, but I am. I wanted to repair our relationship, I wanted a chance to prove that I’m a better man now. But it doesn’t seem like I’m going to get that chance. She’s ready to move on without me, and I just have to accept that.
At least I get a chance to spend time with Lucy. And now I’m extremely nervous. It goes back to me having no experience of being around a child before. Especially when that child is my own. I’ve had no part in raising her. I only know the Lucy that I’ve seen for a few hours at a time, not one I’ve had to be in charge of.
I spend the whole day making sure the cabin is clean. I set one of the spare bedrooms up for her, in case Cassidy’s date is longer than expected. I try not to think about what that means.
It’s a little before five when Cassidy’s car pulls into my driveway. I open the front door, walking out to greet them and I’m blown away.
Cassidy looks gorgeous. Not that she normally doesn’t, but this time it’s clearly something special. She’s curled her hair, letting it fall around her shoulders. She’s wearing a light pink skirt and a white lace long-sleeved top. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look so beautiful – it takes me a good second to get my thoughts together.
“Let me help you with that,” I say, rushing forward.
She hands me two bags and then one shopping bag as she wrangles Lucy out of the car.
“I grabbed some snacks and dinner that she likes from the store. I think I packed her favorite toys, some movies, a change of clothes and pajamas, and everything she needs for a bath.”
Now that panic begins to settle in again. It’s a lot of responsibility.
The press often likes to rant on about how I’ve never known responsibility in my life, how everything has always been handed to me. I’ve fought against that for years, determined to prove that I’m more than they think I am. I’ve dealt with responsibility before.
Now, I’m realizing that maybe I haven’t. Because I’ve never been left as the one in charge of a three-year-old.
I’m scared to death.
Instead of responding, I walk with Cassidy and Lucy into the cabin. I place the bags on the countertop, watching as Cassidy hugs Lucy.
“I promise that I’ll be back soon, okay? Until then, you’re going to hang out with Oliver. Is that okay?”
Lucy has already made herself at home in my cabin, climbing up onto the couch and making herself comfortable.
“Okay, mama!” she exclaims, waving as Cassidy starts to walk back towards the door.
Cassidy stops by where I stand in the kitchen, making sure to make eye contact with me.
“Call me immediately if anything happens,” she says.
I can tell from the tone of her voice that she’s not joking. She’s dead serious.
“I wouldn’t think of doing anything else,” I promise, “I’ll see you when you get back. Enjoy your night, Cassidy.”
She offers a little half-smile and a wave before stepping out the front door.
I find myself watching her go – and I feel a white-hot feeling beginning to bubble in my stomach. It’s a feeling that while I’m familiar enough with, I haven’t felt often in my lifetime. It’s nothing but pure jealousy, wishing that I was the one who would be able to sweep Cassidy off her feet tonight.
I turn back to where our daughter sits on the couch, grey eyes looking towards me. I realize that she’s where my attention should lie for the rest of the evening. I can always focus on that jealousy later.
“Alright Lucy,” I say, beginning to open the bags that Cassidy brought. I find the snacks that she provided and move to put the refrigerated ones in the fridge.
“What should we do first? Are you hungry? Do you want to play? Watch a movie?”
She’s silent. She’s just staring at me, shrugging when I ask her a question. That’s nothing like the child I saw the other night, or on the day that we went to the petting zoo. She seems smaller somehow and it takes me by surprise.
“Are you alright?” I ask, walking around the counter.
Once again, Lucy is silent. She sits on the couch and stares at me in wide-eyed shock.
I realize exactly what it is.
Cassidy has been with us every time we’ve been together. We’ve never been left alone. To her, I’m still just a nice stranger with whom her mom is friends. Despite that, I’m still a stranger.
I walk towards the living room. Instead of sitting on the couch next to Lucy, I take a seat in the recliner next to it. I give her space, not wanting her to feel overcrowded.
“Alright,” I softly say, “I get it. You’re scared. I’m a stranger and your mom’s gone right now.”
When I say that, she whimpers quietly, and I feel even worse.
“But hey, it’s okay. Your mom’s going to come back and we’re going to have fun until then, okay? I’ll make you dinner, we can watch a movie and go from there. So, why don’t I hand you your toys while I cook and give you some time to get used to being around here?”
I feel strange. I don’t know if Lucy is processing anything that I’m saying or if I used words that don’t make sense. I don’t know if I’m giving her too many options. Maybe I should have done some research before I agreed to babysit.
I walk back over to the counter and grab the bag full of toys. Still being mindful of giving Lucy space, I place the bag on the opposite end of the couch from where she sits. I go back to the kitchen and go through the rest of the groceries that Cassidy brought over.
I’m left with a box of macaroni and cheese mix and a pack of hotdogs. Now, I’m not an expert on cuisine for a toddler, but I’m assuming she wants mac and cheese with hotdogs mixed in. Simple enough, doesn’t require culinary skills that I don’t possess.
Doable.
I set about getting everything ready, searching the cabin for cooking utensils. I’ve been eating more of my meals at local places or getting takeout, not wanting to cook myself a meal in the cabin. But this changes everything, it’s for Lucy.
I look up from my preparations and see her sitting on the floor, the stuffed whale that I bought her the other day tucked underneath her arm. She’s going through the bag of toys carefully, finally pulling out a bag of what appears to be little props and accessories for her stuffed animals.
I smile to myself. Seeing that is much better than seeing her sit on the couch alone.
She looks much more
like the Lucy that I’ve grown used to.
Dinner prep isn’t challenging. I get everything whipped up rather quickly and mix it all into a little bowl for Lucy, sitting it on the four-person dining table by the kitchen and setting a fork by it.
“Hey, dinner’s ready,” I call out to her, going back to the fridge to get her a cup of water to go with her dinner. “You wanna come to eat?”
Lucy looks up at me, stopping whatever she’s doing with her stuffed animals and their props to stand up and rush over to the dinner table. She climbs up into the chair where her bowl is set and looks at the dinner.
For what isn’t the first time today, anxiety rises in me. I hope I made it right. I hope this is what she wanted. The last thing I know how to handle is a meltdown over dinner with limited materials on hand.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
She picks up the fork in that clumsy way that children do, using both hands to grip on to it as she scoops a bite into her mouth.
She doesn’t even swallow before saying, “Good!”
I let out a breath that I hadn’t realized that I was holding. “Okay...just don’t eat too fast, alright?”
I sit across from her, watching as she eats.
“Feeling a little bit better about being here?”
She nods.
“Okay, good. I don’t know if you know this or not, but I’m a little scared too Lucy.”
She takes another forkful of mac and cheese.
“What are you scared of?” she asks it in disbelief like she’s unsure how an adult could be scared of something.
“I’ve never hung out with a kid before,” I tell her. “I’m scared I’m going to do something that’ll make you not want to be my friend anymore,”
I say it in a way that I hope she understands.
She takes another bite of her food before shaking her head.
“I like being your friend, Oliver.”
Once again, I feel relieved. All I want is to get along with Lucy, for her to one day be able to view me as her father. I want to earn that title, in her eyes and Cassidy’s.
“I like being your friend too, Lucy.”
Chapter Fourteen
Cassidy
Fake Love Rich Boss Series Page 38