Fake Love Rich Boss Series

by Peterson , Sloane

  I don’t know if I made a huge mess of things or not. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fix what happened last night. I wish that she would have given me a second to talk, to try to smooth things over. But a conversation was the last thing Cassidy wanted.

  I make the decision to give her space, time to sort through her own thoughts. I realize that if I feel this confused, this freaked out, she has to feel double that. I’ll give her as much room as she needs.

  “Oliver.”

  An annoyed voice echoes from the other end of the phone. I’m sitting on the living room couch, half-trying to pay attention to this work call, half still wishing Cassidy would text me.

  It’s been four days.

  I’m beginning to worry, meaning I’m becoming preoccupied with the very thought of hearing from her. I can’t keep waiting to hear from her. I feel like I need to reach out and check on things, but I don’t even know what to say. Once again, I’m left in a position where I don’t know how to fix things.

  “I’m still here,” I say quickly, trying to reassure Drew Gardner that I’m listening.

  Drew is the ‘fixer’ that I hired. He’s the man who’s supposed to point out all of the problems with Windsor Publishing and work with our interim CEO until I get back to move towards fixing it. I’m not expecting a miracle, but I’m expecting improvement.

  “What are we going to do about Jack? I know you’re on a trip to find yourself or whatever your reasoning is, but this is still your company.”

  Drew sounds exhausted. I’m unsure if it’s the lack-of-sleep type, or if it’s because this job has him on the verge of going insane.

  He called me to talk about Jack, the interim CEO. Jack has been with the company longer than I’ve been alive, a close friend of my father’s. Jack has always had a cushy, executive job at Windsor, so he felt like the natural choice when I needed someone to step in.

  Drew is telling me that Jack is floundering in his new position. He refuses to make the changes that Drew requests because Alan ran things a certain way for years and it was all fine. He doesn’t see a point in changing them now. Evidently, they’ve been going back and forth on it for a few days and nothing is budging.

  Yet, all I can think about is Cassidy.

  “I don’t know, Drew. Jack has been with the company for years, he’s a loyal employee. He’s just old and stuck in his ways. It’ll take time for things to change.”

  I hear Drew sigh on the other end.

  “This is the type of thing that can ruin companies, Oliver. If the employees don’t want to move forward, it keeps the company in the past. It makes it easier for other companies to overtake them.”

  “So, what options do I have? Am I supposed to call Jack and yell at him? Fire him?”

  “It’s been a little over a month, Oliver. It’s none of my business, but I think it’s time that you come back and start leading your company.”

  He’s right. I thought that I would be able to make the changes that I needed to during this time. I would be able to fix or at least mend my relationship with Cassidy. Instead, I think I further damaged it.

  I’m not ready to leave though. I want to spend more time with Lucy. I want to keep trying to fix things with Cassidy. Returning to New York is like admitting defeat. I’m not ready to be defeated.

  Before I can respond, my phone buzzes in my hand. Looking down, I see Cassidy’s name pop up on my screen. I’m almost ashamed to admit how excited I get just from seeing her name. It’s been four days of unknowing, four days of waiting for her to assure me that she doesn’t hate me.

  “Give me a second, Drew,” I say. I hear him sigh on the other end, but I think nothing of it as I open the text message.

  It’s a lengthy one. My heart drops as I read it.

  It’s not what I wanted to hear.

  ‘Oliver, I keep thinking about the other night and I keep coming to the same conclusion. As long as we’re around one another, we can’t pretend like we’re just friends or co-parents or whatever. We’ll fall into the same loop over and over again. I can’t let that happen.

  You’ve been great with Lucy, she adores you. This is nothing about you, this is all about me. I think we need some time apart again. I’m open to allowing you to be a part of Lucy’s life, but I need to think of how to move forward without falling into that loop. I thought I was over you, and I’m not.

  I hope you understand what I’m trying to tell you. I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear. I’m sorry things keep ending up like this for us. I just need time before I can figure out how we should proceed.’

  I read her text over and over again, trying to process each and every sentence. She’s not over me? Isn’t that a good thing? Isn’t that a sign that I’m not the horrible person that I used to be or the horrible person that she keeps making me out to be in her head? Isn’t that a sign that we should fall back together?

  I don’t get it. I knew coming down here there was a chance that I wouldn’t fix anything. I was accepting of that, but I wasn’t expecting this. I wasn’t expecting her to basically tell me that she likes me too much.

  I’m not ready to go back without spending more time with Lucy. I know that Cassidy will stay true to her word and give me a chance to be in Lucy’s life. I know that eventually, we’ll figure out this co-parenting thing if I can keep continuing to change and show her that I’m not who I used to be.

  I guess I just have to respect her decision. That’s the only way to prove to her that I’ve changed. Old Oliver would storm over to her house, demand that we work something else out. That’s not who I am anymore...despite how tempting it is.

  “Sorry about that, Drew. I was looking over some information I just received.” It’s not a straight-up lie, just not the entirety of the truth.

  “That’s fine. Like I was saying Oliver, we need to get you back to run things. Windsor is your company and it’ll look a hell of a lot better if you’re running it.”

  I swallow, letting my full attention turn back to Drew. I try to let the text with Cassidy melt off my shoulders, something to focus on later.

  “You’re right, Drew. I’ll arrange a flight back. How does this weekend sound? That way I can be back in the office by Monday morning and we can work together to make the changes necessary. Does that work?”

  I hear another sigh from Drew on the other end of the phone. This time, I have a feeling that it’s a sigh of relief.

  “That would be amazing, Oliver. Thank you.”

  “It’s my company, right? I have to be the one who fixes it.”

  It feels like it’s the only thing in my life that I can fix.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Cassidy

  What happened between Oliver and I the other night has been playing on my mind since I left his cabin. I can’t stop thinking about everything that led up to that. Was it because I was so upset about the Elias thing? Maybe it was because I was desperate for a crumb of attention. Or maybe it’s because I’m just not over him.

  Being around Oliver only worked to stir up my feelings for him again. I’ve never fully been able to get over him. I’ve never had closure with our relationship.

  But seeking out closure would be nothing but another problem. The last time I sought out closure from him, I found myself falling back into him pretty damned quickly. It’s like as long as we’re near each other, I can’t control myself. I’m drawn to him and I know that it’s going to be the death of me.

  I have to figure out how to take time and be able to co-parent Lucy with him. She likes him. He adores her. I can’t keep her from him if he wants to be in her life. I know that that means having a difficult conversation with her, but I also know that that means I need to figure out how to co-exist with Oliver without being with him.

  It’s far too dangerous.

  He’s never replied to the text I sent about how distance would be the best option for us. I’m sure he’s pissed, I know that I would be in his shoes.

  It’s ju
st another weeknight. I’ve picked Lucy up from my mom’s house and I’ve cooked a quick dinner for the two of us. It’s after dinner and she’s playing with her toys on the floor, waiting for me to tell her it’s bath time.

  When I picked her up, my mom grilled me about Oliver. She told me that Lucy keeps talking about him and how she wants to have another playdate with him, and she asked if I told her anything about Oliver being her father. She asked how the whole thing with Oliver was going, and I couldn’t look in her eyes and tell her the truth.

  I couldn’t tell her that she was right all along, that everything she thought would happen, happened.

  After I let Lucy play a bit, I get her into the bath and then tuck her in. Instead of going straight to bed, I grab my phone and call Noelle. We stay in near-constant contact, but phone calls are rare. We can rarely fit in time. I just pray that she answers.

  It rings on the other end, once, twice, and then I hear her voice.

  “What did he do? I’ve been waiting for this call. Wait. Before you start, give me a second and let me grab some wine.”

  It’s hard to focus on my struggles when Noelle is immediately on. I stifle a laugh as I walk out to my living room. I take a seat in the recliner, tucking my legs underneath myself.

  “I’m waiting,” I say, hoping to convey a playful annoyance in my tone.

  “Okay, okay. Wine is got. So, what did he do? He’s been gone a while and Jack said that he’s coming home tomorrow so I’m assuming he fucked it all up somehow.”

  “I wouldn’t say that he fucked it up. I’d say that we fucked it up. So.....”

  I don’t get a chance to finish the story, Noelle interrupts me.

  “You two slept together, didn’t you?” she asks with a small sigh.

  “Damn, you’re good.”

  “I knew it was only a matter of time. So, let me guess the rest of the story. You two slept together and now neither of you know where to go from here. So, you’re pushing him away instead of confronting your emotions.”

  “I’ve confronted my emotions, Noelle. I have feelings for Oliver, that’s never changed. But I can’t be with him. I know exactly how that’ll end up because it’ll end up the same way it does every time. I’ve fallen into this loop with him again and again. If I let the same man break me three times in a row? I’m a damned fool. That’s not what I want to teach Lucy.”

  She sighs on the other end, “Yeah, having a kid makes it complicated. So, the whole time he’s been down there, has he shown any signs of change? Any signs that he’s not the same Oliver he was before?”

  The truth is, yes. I can see a difference in him. But I don’t know if that difference will last. I don’t know if he’s just different because of Alan’s death or because of Lucy. I don’t know if either of these things will have a long-lasting effect on him.

  “I don’t know, Noelle. He seems different, but how do I know that it’s a difference that’s there to stay? How do I willingly put myself out there to get hurt by him again? I feel like I would look like a damn fool. I’m not ready for that.”

  “It’s a choice you gotta make, Cassidy. Are you willing to risk letting him hurt you again?”

  “I don’t want to get hurt again. And this time, he wouldn’t only be hurting me, he’d be hurting Lucy. I don’t want to put my daughter in a position where she’ll get her heart broken by her father. I don’t want to introduce her to heartbreak so early.”

  She sighs on the other end, “I get it. I know that you can’t only think about yourself now. You have to think of Lucy. The truth is, I can’t tell you what to do, Cassidy. You’re the parent, you’re the one who has to make choices with Lucy and your best interests at heart, and I know that you will.”

  Listening to Noelle, I realize what I have to do. I have to let Oliver walk away. I have to move on with my life. I’m too scared of how this will end up for Lucy and myself. I don’t want her first heartbreak to be her father. Knowing Oliver, that’s exactly how it’ll end up. He’s burnt me too many times for me to trust him.

  I have to bury my feelings for him again, once again focus on moving on. I so badly wish that things were different, I wish that I could trust Oliver like I want to. But I can’t. The bad blood between us runs too deep.

  “You’re right,” I sigh into the phone. I reposition myself in the chair, resting my hand on the back of the recliner. “I just wish that things were different. I wish I could let him in and we could live happily ever after. But I know with Oliver there will never be a happily ever after. I can’t let myself fall into that.”

  “Well, I guess that tells you your answer, Cassidy. If you really believe that you’ll never find a happily ever after with Oliver, you need to let it go. Give yourself time to move on while accepting that you’re going to have to co-parent with him. Maybe get some therapy.”

  “I don’t think I need therapy, Noelle.”

  “It could help,” she says in a singsong.

  “I’ll think about it.”

  I won’t. We both know that I won’t. It’s not like I could walk into a therapist’s office and tell them of all the hell I’ve been through with Oliver. Some of the things that I know the therapist would have to report. I won’t let him get in trouble for these things.

  “Look, I love you and I miss you, Cassidy. You’re still my best friend. You need to work out this co-parenting thing with Oliver so you can come to New York and see me, okay? Do it for me. And you and Lucy, but also for me.”

  Despite my current mood, I find myself laughing. Noelle has always had that quality about her. She’s always been able to make me laugh, even when I feel like my entire life is falling apart.

  “Alright, alright. I’ll do it for you, Noelle. Just for you.”

  “Thank you, I really appreciate it.”

  “I should probably go to bed. I have to work in the morning,”

  “Alright. Let me know if there are any updates with the Oliver situation, deal?”

  “Always,” I promise.

  With that, I hang up the phone and retreat to my bedroom. My mind is made up, I know that I made the right choice by saying that we need to distance ourselves from one another. Talking to Noelle only made me realize that more. Oliver and I just can’t co-exist.

  It’s Friday after work. I pull into my mom’s driveway, ready to pick up Lucy and get on with our weekend. I finally received a response to the text that I sent to Oliver a few days ago.

  ‘I leave at 8 pm on Saturday. Let me know if I can see Lucy one last time before I leave.’

  I know that I should let him. God knows how long it’ll be before they get to see one another again, but I can’t bring myself to respond. Oliver seeing Lucy means that I’ll be seeing Oliver. I know that if I see Oliver again, I’ll have to face all those mixed feelings when I see him walk away from me again.

  I’ll have to go through losing him all over again. I don’t think I’m ready for that. It makes moving on ridiculously hard.

  I get to the front door before I can knock, my mom opens it.

  “You look exhausted,” she says.

  “Hey, good to see you too, mom. I didn’t just spend the entire day at work or anything.”

  “It looks beyond work tired, Cassidy. What’s really going on?”

  “Nothing. Where’s my daughter?”

  “Playing. Cassidy, talk to me.”

  “Oliver’s leaving tomorrow. And I know that he needs to, but it’s hard to watch him walk away from us again. It feels like we’re being abandoned all over again by him.”

  It’s not the whole truth. I feel a lot of things. A mix of emotions all because of this man. I feel like letting go is a mistake, but I also know that I can’t cling to him.

  “Why don’t you take a night to yourself? You look like you need it.”

  I’ve never left Lucy at mom’s this frequently, especially overnight. It’s just never been something that I’ve done. I’ve tried to be with her every night.

  “I can’
t, mom. She’s going to start feeling abandoned if I keep leaving her to spend time on my own. You never left me alone to have nights to yourself.”

  “If I could have, I would have. I didn’t have anyone to help me out, Cassidy. You do. Take it, Lucy doesn’t mind. I think she likes sleepovers because she gets to do something different. I usually spoil her, so she doesn’t notice much.”

  I sigh. A night to myself sounds nice, but I also feel guilty doing so. I feel like I need to be there for Lucy, but can I really be there for her if I’m an emotional wreck? Maybe a night to myself, a night of grieving for what could’ve been or what I wish it could be would do me some good.

  “Fine,” I give in. It doesn’t take much, “Lucy can stay with you tonight, but this will be the last night for a while.”

  “That’s fine, Cassidy. Whatever you feel most comfortable with, alright?”

  I hug her before I turn around and get back into my car. I pull out of her driveway and start the drive home.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Oliver

  Cassidy didn’t respond to my text. I know she wants to create some distance between the two of us and I’m trying to make my peace with that, I’m trying to accept that this trip isn’t going to wind up how I wished for it too, but I want to see Lucy one last time.

  I don’t know how long of a break she’s going to want to take before we can move forward with co-parenting. That’s been my focus since the beginning, being in my daughter’s life, making up for lost time. I got sidetracked by my feelings for Cassidy, but ultimately Lucy is the most important.

  I leave tomorrow. All I want is a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer. Maybe I’m being an asshole, but I’m tired of waiting for her to give me an answer. So, I make the decision to just go see her. If I’m not trying to fix things with Cassidy, does it matter if I mess it all up even more? Who really cares?

  I drive over to her house, worrying the entire time. How is this going to go? Am I making one hell of a mistake?

  I pull into the driveway and Cassidy’s car isn’t there. I should turn around and leave. I should chalk this all up to a mistake, but I can’t.