Driving Home for Christmas

by Emma Hannigan

  ‘No! We didn’t end on good terms,’ Lainey confessed. ‘I haven’t seen him at all, but I’m still friends with him on Facebook.’ She dropped her eyes, regretting that Jules now knew she still cared what he thought. ‘It means I can keep tabs on him and avoid him.’

  ‘Totally,’ Jules said. As she held the tight red satin bandeau-style dress against her, Lainey swallowed. ‘Give it a shot and if you hate it we’ll find something else, yeah?’

  She pulled the cubicle door shut as Lainey yanked on the dress.

  ‘Well?’ Jules asked, through the glass. ‘Like it or hate it?’

  ‘Um, I honestly don’t know if I’d have the nerve to wear it.’

  ‘Can I see?’

  Lainey opened the door, walked out and stared at herself in the long wall mirror.

  ‘Wowzers, you look amazing! Step into these shoes,’ Jules said, grabbing the pair that belonged to the changing room. ‘If you had a nice necklace, some dramatic, smoky eye makeup and bright red lipstick, you’d stop traffic in it!’

  ‘Ah, go on out of that! I’m hardly wolf-whistle material!’ she said uncertainly.

  ‘Says who?’

  ‘I’m either in jodhpurs, my biking leathers or a work suit. So this kind of thing is totally not me.’

  ‘But you can so wear it!’ Jules said. ‘Look at how toned you are! Most girls would kill for your legs. All that throwing yourself around the hedges and ditches has certainly banished any chance of cellulite! I’m loving the red against your dark hair. Ooh, yeah, I’m seeing you as a young Demi Moore in this look. Work it. Walk it. Believe it,’ Jules instructed.

  Lainey burst out laughing. ‘You’re like a model and I’m like the Hunchback of Notre Dame’s estranged twin sister shambling along behind you!’ she said, as they strutted down the aisle between the cubicles towards the full-length mirror.

  ‘It’s all in here,’ Jules said, tapping her head. ‘Think sexy and you will be.’

  ‘I wish I had your confidence.’ Lainey bit her lip.

  ‘Listen, I don’t know what that Seth bloke did to you. Clearly you had an awful time with him. But don’t you feel good about the Lainz in that mirror right now?’

  ‘You’re like Gok Wan.’ Lainey smiled. ‘I suppose if I had some makeup on and downed half a bottle of wine I might be able to get through an evening in this.’

  ‘That’s good enough for me. Now take that dress off, pay for it and we’ll go for a bit of food before you change your mind. I think you should buy the shoes too, actually. They always put current bestsellers in these changing rooms, so ask at the till and the girls will get you a fresh pair.’

  ‘Right so.’ Lainey took a deep breath. ‘Thanks, Jules. I appreciate your advice. I’m not sure I’ll be able to walk in these all evening, though. I have some at home with a lower heel and they’d be more comfortable.’

  ‘This, my darling girl,’ Jules said, with an exaggerated sweep of her arm, ‘is not about comfort. It’s about being a siren! Sirens don’t think about comfort. Anyway, all you need are those gel party insoles. Put them in the shoes and take two paracetamol washed down with half a bottle of schnapps! When you can’t feel your feet, they don’t hurt! Simple!’

  ‘Okay so,’ Lainey said, grinning sheepishly. ‘I’ll do as I’m told! Thanks.’

  ‘Pleasure, doll! See you in a sec.’ Jules shot off to look at more glittery clothes.

  Lainey shut the cubicle door and scrutinised herself. This dress would never have graced her hips in a million years without Jules’s insistence. But maybe this was the push she needed to come out of herself. It had been kind of Jules to compare her to Demi Moore, but all Lainey could see was an uneasy blocky-looking woman, with a sensible short haircut and about as much confidence as a mouse.

  By the time she was back in her suit, Jules was in front of the mirror again. ‘I have to have this! Isn’t the colour just electric?’ she bubbled.

  ‘Certainly is,’ Lainey said, trying not to stare like a goldfish. The kelly green shiny thing must have been manufactured as a belt, she thought, but on Jules it had turned into a revealing tube dress. ‘If you love it, you should buy it,’ she said. ‘And it’s nearly half past. We should pay, grab a sandwich and get back to the office. I’m going to take the red dress.’

  ‘Good for you,’ Jules called from inside a cubicle, where she was hurrying back into her work clothes. ‘I wouldn’t tell you to buy it if I didn’t think you’d look brilliant. Okay, I’m coming!’

  As they left the shop, Jules linked Lainey’s arm. ‘I’m so excited you took the dress. But I hope I didn’t force it on you? There’s no point in having it if you’re not going to wear it. It’s one thing my telling you it’s gorgeous, but you have to feel good in it.’

  ‘I know – and I suppose I need to push myself out of my usual plain black.’

  ‘Not at all! I’m impressed that you’re willing to try a new look.’

  They went into a sandwich bar, where they ordered bagels and coffee. It was so packed they were lucky to find two high stools where they could perch and eat.

  ‘My younger sister Pippa is more like you,’ Lainey resumed. ‘She’s mad into her fashion and can’t understand why I don’t spend every cent I earn on shoes like she does.’

  ‘It takes all sorts, Lainz,’ Jules said, through a mouthful. ‘Do the rest of your family like horses and motorbikes too?’

  ‘Pippa hasn’t ridden for years, and my brother Joey is a triathlon freak. He runs, cycles and swims his way through the week.’

  ‘Cool! I’d be dead after five minutes doing any kind of exercise. My only nod towards anything healthy involves a dance floor.’

  ‘Well, it seems to work for you – you’re tiny.’ Lainey giggled. Jules was probably most men’s dream girl: with her petite frame, long straight hair and ample bosom, she had curves in all the right places.

  ‘I thought you were a real rock chick when I met you dressed in full leathers on my first morning in the council office last month.’

  ‘And now you’re getting to know me you’ve worked out that I’m really just a sensible old maid,’ Lainey said, smiling.

  ‘Oh, I didn’t mean it like that. How old are you anyway?’

  ‘I was only kidding you. I’m thirty. My motorbike suits me because I live halfway between work, here in Dublin, and my family home in Wicklow. I can zip up the motorway and I don’t have to worry about the traffic.’

  ‘Do you go home a lot at weekends, then?’

  ‘Yeah, I still hunt and I’ve a mare that needs exercising so I usually head back to Wicklow after work on Friday. What about yourself?’

  ‘I moved out of home about a year ago. I rent a place near the city centre so I take the Luas to the office. I don’t get on with my mum and I’ve no other family.’ Suddenly Jules looked sad.

  ‘That’s tough. Huntersbrook House, my family home, is like a B&B at times, always people coming and going. My folks have a livery yard so they look after horses, and the hunt meets there during the season. I’ve grown up with a whirl of activity going on around me. So I can’t imagine anything else.’

  ‘That sounds wonderful,’ Jules said wistfully. ‘Still, I’ve great friends, and things had become so stressful with Mum that it seemed better we steer clear of one another for a while.’

  Lainey finished her bagel, drained her coffee and wondered what Jules’s mother was like that she could shun such a sweet daughter. Especially when they had only each other. ‘We’d better head back to the office,’ she said. ‘Drake-ula will be hovering like the snake he is, dying to catch us being late back.’

  ‘Is he always so mean?’ Jules asked, as she tottered along beside Lainey in her high heels.

  ‘He’s in a permanent bad mood. Try not to take it personally. He hates everyone with equal intensity,’ Lainey told her.

  ‘Did you hear what he said to me this morning?’

  ‘Yeah, the git.’

  ‘I was so grateful when you came over to rescu
e me – I honestly thought I was going to start blubbing in front of the whole office,’ Jules confided. ‘Who would have thought buying him an iced finger instead of a Danish pastry would make him so angry? It’s a tad boring going to Spar every morning for the same thing, so I thought I’d go wild and get something different!’ She giggled. ‘I won’t bother in future. He really loses his rag when he gets going, doesn’t he?’

  ‘Don’t mind him,’ Lainey murmured, as they entered the office building once more. ‘His real name is Dougal and he puts on that accent. He’s from a dodgy part of town. Mike in Accounts went to school with him.’

  ‘Seriously? It’s amazing how some people can be so scary on the outside yet they’re really unsure underneath,’ Jules said, as they went into their office. They grinned at each other, then made their way to their respective cubicles.

  With only a few weeks to Christmas the council offices were humming. As far as Lainey could make out the entire county wanted the world put to rights in time for the holiday season. She barely looked up from her desk for the next hour until Drake strolled over.

  ‘You might want to give your new best friend a few pointers,’ he said, with a lopsided grin.

  ‘Pardon?’ Lainey tried not to glower at him.

  ‘Barbie over there is in charge of our leg of the Christmas party this year. It’s an Abba night in the Regency Hotel, according to the email,’ Drake said, tucking his nylon shirt into his high-waisted trousers, then smoothing his comb-over. ‘Seeing as she can’t even go to the Spar and find the right pastry, it might be a plan to tell her what’s involved with the Kris Kindle thing and make damn sure she has the right numbers for our table. I don’t want to look like a gobshite in front of the other managers.’

  Lainey would’ve loved to say he’d do a fantastic job of being a gobshite without any outside help, but experience had taught her to smile and suck it up. Drake was her boss and at the end of the day she didn’t really give a toss what he did as long as he kept off her back. She’d never given him any reason to dislike her and preferred to keep it that way.

  ‘Still, Barbie is my idea of the perfect woman,’ Drake sneered, as he licked a pocket of spit from the corner of his mouth. ‘A body by Mattel and brains by Captain Birdseye.’

  ‘What on earth do you mean?’ Lainey asked.

  ‘Mattel – the people who make Barbie dolls?’

  ‘Yeah, I get that bit.’

  ‘And the brain of a pea – Captain Birdseye!’

  ‘That’s just nasty.’ Lainey was annoyed with herself for falling into his trap. She picked up her desk phone, making clear that she had finished talking to him. She rang Jules and filled her in on her party duties.

  ‘It sounds like it could be a good laugh!’ Jules said enthusiastically. ‘I live literally across the road from the Regency Hotel too, so you can stay at mine afterwards if you want,’ she offered.

  ‘Thanks a million. I might take you up on that,’ Lainey said.

  ‘We can get ready together and have a couple of drinks before we go.’

  ‘Good plan,’ Lainey agreed, suddenly feeling less stressed about it all. ‘If you’ve any questions about organising it or the Kris Kindle thing, let me know. I did it for a few years. The main thing is to give everyone a date to respond by. I’ll send you the email I used before, if you like.’

  ‘Thanks, Lainz! The Kris Kindle is where I put all our department’s names in a hat, we pick one each and buy a present for that person, yes? It’s like Secret Santa, isn’t it?’

  ‘Yeah, you’ve got it. The gift mustn’t cost more than twenty euro and we’re not meant to know who gave which present.’

  ‘Love it!’ Jules shrilled. ‘That means you can get something naughty if your person’s annoyed you all year – or, even better, a rattlesnake for Drake-ula!’

  ‘You’re wicked.’ Lainey laughed. ‘It’s meant to create goodwill and a lovely warm feeling between us colleagues.’

  ‘Yeah, right.’ Jules snorted. ‘It’s revenge in Christmas wrapping, if you ask me.’

  By four o’clock Lainey had a headache and decided to take her cup of tea outside. ‘Want to get a breath of air?’ she asked Jules.

  ‘I’d love to.’

  ‘That office gets so stuffy and smells of crisps mixed with eau de sandwich,’ Lainey said as they perched on the low wall outside the office.

  ‘Are you bringing anyone to the Christmas party?’ Jules asked.

  ‘No,’ Lainey said. ‘What about you? Do you have a boyfriend at the moment?’

  ‘Well, it’s kind of messy. My love life’s gone a bit Pete Tong lately so I’ll be on my own.’

  ‘We can keep each other company, then,’ Lainey said. ‘The party’s one of those things that’s a real chore but has to be done.’

  ‘I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders when my last relationship ended. The idea of going out with someone just brings me out in a rash at the moment. I’m sure if and when I meet the right person I’ll change my mind, but until then I’m happy to be single.’

  ‘I love being able to get on my bike and go wherever the mood takes me.’ She paused. ‘Can I make a confession?’

  ‘What?’ Jules leaned in closer.

  ‘The staff Christmas party frightens the bejesus out of me. There. I’ve said it. I’d rather turn up disguised as a Christmas tree so I can blend into the background and nobody will expect me to entertain them with gas anecdotes from the office or the mad plans I have for Christmas. The very idea of having to banter with people I hardly know makes me want to crawl into a corner and rock.’

  ‘This year will be great,’ Jules told her firmly. ‘We’ll have a few bevvies while we’re getting ready and if you wear that red dress you’ll be beating the men off with a stick.’

  ‘I don’t know about that,’ Lainey said, with a giggle. ‘Still, thanks to you, I won’t be dreading it as much as I usually do.’

  ‘I’m looking forward to it, actually. I’ll be on my own for Christmas – the girls I share my flat with are Slovakian and going home for the festive season, so I’ll be glad to go anywhere I’m asked. Even a party with Drake-ula! How sad am I?’

  ‘Listen, my family always has a big Christmas vibe. We’ve a ton of spare rooms and Mum loves to entertain. Why don’t you think about joining us? You’d be so welcome,’ Lainey offered.

  ‘Seriously?’ Jules was astonished.

  ‘Totally. My sister Pippa and brother Joey will be there too and I’d be surprised if they don’t have at least one friend each. The more the merrier in our house.’

  ‘That’s so kind of you, Lainz, and I’m really tempted …’

  ‘Think it over, no pressure.’

  But, as they moved back inside, Lainey really hoped Jules would come to Huntersbrook House. She was going to find Christmas without Grandma really strange, but her friend’s presence might make up a bit for her absence.

  2

  Deck the Halls With

  Boughs of Holly!

  Dear Maggie,

  It was great to hear all your news. I can’t say I know what you mean about the difference between those grapes. I’d take a glass of wine if someone offered me one but outside of it being red or white I’d be a bit stumped. Now, I’ve had both, of course, but I’m no expert.

  I’m not being a tell-tale but I’m sure you’d prefer to know that it looks like Jacob from next door won’t be able to rent the four acres any longer. He dropped in yesterday and asked to speak to Holly and Paddy. I offered to make the tea and a few ham sandwiches with that French mustard Paddy adores. It seems he’s not able to keep up with the lambing on account of his age. Said it’s not worth the hassle. Cynthia has been diagnosed with dementia – the straw that broke the camel’s back. She’s very confused and can’t be left on her own for long. Poor Jacob is taking it very badly. They’re a lovely couple and my heart goes out to them. He’s very bitter about their lad Matt. They never saw eye-to-eye, especially since he went to England to
do an office job.

  The good thing is that Matt’s coming home to help mind his mam. He’s obviously a decent lad if he’s coming back when he’s needed, but Jacob didn’t want to hear that so I kept my opinion to myself.

  The other exciting news is that Jacob’s new helper arrived. He’s from Australia and is called Scott. I asked him if he knows your fella Sid but he drew a blank. All I can tell you, Maggie, is that he’s given me a whole new reason to make soup. Your granddaughters could do worse in my humble opinion.

  Lainey’s birthday is only a week away. I can’t believe it’s the start of December tomorrow. Christmas will be upon us before we know it. What’ll you do down there, Maggie? Do they make it feel like Christmas even though the sun is shining? I can’t begin to imagine it.

  You did indeed jog my memory when you mentioned Holly and Paddy’s wedding. No, I can’t get over the fact it’s thirty-one years ago this New Year’s Eve. Indeed we did almost lose our rag altogether over Holly’s dress. No other bride would insist on eating toast with raspberry jam on the way out the door to the church, but that stubborn streak you like to grumble about wasn’t licked off the stones, Maggie.

  Do you think your Stanley, Lord rest him, sent Paddy to balance out his two fiery women? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Paddy fell from his horse on the hunt that day so Holly could scoop him up, ferry him back to your kitchen and fall in love with him. He’s still as mild-mannered and steady as he ever was, a darling man. When Holly had that episode after Lainey was born, a lesser man would’ve been gone.

  Lainey’s doing well, to answer your question. She’s not as haunted-looking. I know I didn’t tell you that before, but that’s the way she was when you went last December. An orphaned lamb up the back field would’ve been less upset. She’s finally stopped mentioning Seth. I didn’t keep my feelings about him a secret when they were dating and I still don’t. He was a nasty piece of work, and Lainey’s a gentle soul. She needs a man more like her father. But that’s another day’s email, Maggie! I’ll be sure to give her that hug you sent her. Your parcel arrived and I have it kept aside in the pantry. I’ll make sure she gets it the second she arrives home for her birthday at the weekend.