Driving Home for Christmas

by Emma Hannigan

  It might be an option, but Holly wasn’t sure that she could bear the reality of machines crashing in and building apartment blocks on the beautiful landscape. Either way, she supposed, investors with money to spend had disappeared along with the extinct Celtic Tiger.

  As was now the norm, she was shrouded in sadness as a terrible sense of finality settled on her.

  22

  The Power of Love

  The Dublin office drinks party had evolved quite by chance on Friday 20 December. Mr Drake had decided they should have a quick drink in the pub after work since it was their last day before Christmas.

  ‘I know we were all at the big party but it’d be nice to have a quick one together, just us lot. What do you say? Put it this way, I’d have no objection to any of you buying me a Christmas drink.’

  ‘Jesus, for a terrifying moment there I thought he’d come over all Christmassy.’ Jules rolled her eyes.

  All the same, the majority of the staff liked and respected each other so they decided to go along with Drake-ula’s suggestion. They all dropped their cars home and Lainey parked her bike at the flat. It was beginning to snow quite heavily so she took a taxi. The driver was full of Christmas cheer – not. ‘This is a terrible time of year if you’re not loaded,’ he said, as soon as she sat into the car. ‘It’s awful pressure for people. There’s not a sniff of the real meaning of Christmas any longer.’

  ‘I’m really looking forward to it,’ Lainey said. ‘My family are all getting together. Apart from Grandma. She’s in Australia.’

  ‘Your granny is in Australia?’ he said. ‘It’s usually the young ones who go down there. Your family sounds weird,’ he said, as she hopped out and shoved her money at him.

  ‘They probably are,’ Lainey said. ‘But I think they’re pretty cool.’ She didn’t bother wishing him a happy Christmas, deciding it would be a waste of breath.

  She went into the pub and up to the bar. ‘What can I get you?’ the barman said, in just as cheerful a voice as her taxi driver had used.

  ‘One glass of white wine for my friend, who’s on her way,’ Lainey said. ‘I don’t know what I feel like.’

  ‘Well, you’d want to make up your mind because this place isn’t exactly empty,’ he said, tapping a twenty-cent coin off the bar like an irate woodpecker.

  ‘I’ll have a hot port,’ she said. ‘It is Christmas,’ she added, with a sweet smile as she batted her eyelashes.

  He didn’t smile or answer, so when he banged the drink down in front of her she tried again: ‘You looked like you wanted to stab me there, but if it helps at all I’m really looking forward to this. I’ve just finished up at work for Christmas.’

  ‘I’m delighted for you,’ he growled. ‘Some of us are miles away from any sign of a break.’ He held out his hand for the money.

  Figuring she wasn’t going to find any Christmas cheer with this string of misery, Lainey grabbed the drinks and found a round table near the crackling open fire.

  ‘Hiya!’ Jules said, as she ran in.

  ‘Hello!’ Lainey said. ‘I’m delighted to see you. I’ve come across several members of the I Hate Christmas Club over the last half-hour. There are some seriously grumpy people about.’

  ‘Well,’ Jules said, as she raised her glass, ‘feck the lot of them. Happy Christmas and cheers! No sign of the others yet?’

  ‘They’ll be here any second, I’d say. Sit yourself down and relax,’ Lainey instructed.

  The warm port was so delicious that Lainey lost count of how many she downed.

  ‘I was fine a few minutes ago,’ she slurred at Drake, who was also looking the worse for wear after several pints of cider mixed with shots of sambuca. ‘I mean, it’s not even like a real drink. It’s sort of like that stuff you get for a cold. Yet when I tried to stand up just now my legs weren’t working so well.’

  ‘I always know I’m going to end up feeling messy when I have shots,’ Drake said.

  ‘Well, you’re obviously more sensible than me,’ she said. ‘When it comes to drink anyhow.’

  ‘Why don’t you have a shot yourself?’ he asked. ‘I’ll even buy you one. I’m proud to say I haven’t put my hand in my pocket since I got here.’

  ‘Thanks, but I’m fine with the port,’ she said, giggling.

  ‘I didn’t think you’d say yes. I was only being polite.’

  ‘Why didn’t you think I’d let you buy me a drink?’ Lainey asked, smiling.

  ‘Sure all the lads think you’re a lesbo,’ he said. ‘You’re kind of manly, although lately you’ve made a bit of an effort and look less like a dyke.’ He obviously thought he was being complimentary. ‘I’ve always liked you because there’s none of the girly shit with you. No tittering and whispering, and you never stand with doe eyes looking like you’ve been mortally wounded if I bark an order. Not like some I could mention,’ he said, jerking his head sideways towards Jules. ‘That one, if you so much as glance at her crooked, she looks at you like you’ve stabbed a barrel of kittens with a knitting needle. In fairness to you, Lainey, you’re consistent and a good worker. What you do in your spare time is none of my concern. I’m open-minded, me.’

  Lainey opened her mouth to retaliate and realised she’d no idea where to begin. So much of what he’d said had shocked her. ‘Have a good Christmas, Mr Drake,’ she said, hoping to God her eyes weren’t showing the hurt that was bubbling inside her.

  So, they all thought she was gay. That she dressed, worked and thought like a man. On the up-side, her boss seemed to have some respect for her.

  The irony was almost too much: three men were swarming around Jules.

  The thought of more port made her feel ill. Knowing she needed to get the hell out of there, she went to Jules and whispered that she was going home.

  ‘I’ll come with you, Lainz.’

  ‘Are we not good enough for you, girls?’ Drake asked, laughing.

  ‘I’m in a bit of a hurry,’ Lainey said, sounding strangled.

  Jules must have realised she was upset. ‘You’re the best, Mr Drake,’ she said, hugging him. ‘I have a date, that’s all.’

  ‘Anyone we know?’ he asked.

  ‘Definitely not,’ Jules said, winking at Lainey.

  Lainey had advised her not to come out to Drake or the rest of the crew in work. ‘I’d wait until you’re more confident. In light of the way your mum reacted, give yourself a bit of time. People like Drake aren’t what I’d consider the most open-minded. He’s horrible to you anyway. I think he’d hold it against you.’

  ‘You’re probably right,’ Jules said, chewing the inside of her cheek. ‘The only thing is, Lainz, I’m not ashamed of who I am.’

  ‘Nor should you be, but I wouldn’t tell them too much about yourself full stop. They know nothing about me and that’s the way I like to keep it. Before you came along, I never had much to do with any of the work crew. I’ve been there eight years and I’m glad I’ve kept my nose clean.’

  ‘You’re right, Lainz, as usual,’ Jules said. ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you! I trust everyone and think the world is my friend. That’s really stupid, isn’t it?’

  ‘No, Jules. You’re open and lovely and I’d hate you to change, but a little self-preservation can go a long way in work, that’s all.’

  As they said their goodbyes and wished the crew a happy Christmas, Lainey was glad she’d advised Jules to keep schtum. As they linked arms and made their way out into the freezing air, she couldn’t hold back her tears a moment longer and pulled Jules around the side of the building.

  ‘What happened?’ Jules was horrified.

  ‘Oh, Drake was drunk and shooting his mouth off.’ She was trying to breathe deeply and stop making a show of herself.

  ‘I’ll kill him,’ Jules said, about to march back inside.

  ‘No! Please leave it. He didn’t mean any harm. He was just being … honest. I’ve had too much port and I need to go home and sleep it off.’

  ‘I’ll come b
ack with you,’ Jules said, and hailed a taxi.

  ‘You’re going on your date,’ Lainey said.

  ‘Not now I’m not,’ Jules said, as she stuck her head through the window and gave the driver Lainey’s address.

  Lainey hugged her friend. ‘I can’t believe you’d pass up a date for me. I really appreciate it, but I wouldn’t hear of it. Now go, and tell me all about it in the morning,’ she ordered. ‘I’m fine now. I was just being silly. I’ll blame the stress of the build up to Christmas.’

  Jules hesitated. ‘I’ve no problem coming with you.’

  ‘I know, and thank you. I’ll talk to you in the morning.’ Lainey waved to her friend, climbed in and the taxi drove away. The snow was still falling in big fat flakes and this time Lainey had Mr Personality, who told her all about his children and how excited they were about Santa coming. ‘They’ve been counting the sleeps that are left,’ he said. ‘They’re the best reason in the world to go out to work on a cold and snowy night.’

  When they pulled up outside her building, Lainey gave him a decent tip. ‘To put another little thing in their stockings.’

  ‘Thanks a million. Happy Christmas to you!’ he called, as she ran inside.

  The room was spinning as she climbed into bed. She managed to rid herself of her boots but couldn’t bring herself to take off her clothes and makeup.

  Her hand rested on her phone. Normally when she was inebriated she’d look at Seth’s Facebook page. Now she turned over and snuggled deep into the duvet. That was when she remembered she’d blocked him anyway.

  A new feeling crept through her. In her drunken stupor she reckoned it might be relief. Relief that she was no longer controlled by Seth. That she was totally free of him and out of his life in every way. She felt a twinge of sadness for the poor girl he was currently destroying, but hoped she might come to her senses before it was too late.

  Next morning Lainey realised there was nothing quite like a port hangover. She’d never actually been hit by the 45A bus or beaten with a lump hammer, but she knew that this feeling would probably prepare her quite adequately should either eventuality ever come to pass.

  It was minus three outside, according to the weather forecaster on the radio, so she chose Dundrum Town Centre as her final gifts destination. The large indoor shopping area offered a great selection of all the most popular stores. These were the times when her bike was a godsend. Although the roads were pretty treacherous, she’d take it handy and zip past the traffic. She strapped her panniers to the back of the bike and set off. The crisp freshness eased her thumping head. She could almost feel the sub-zero temperatures cutting through the dull fug of last night’s booze.

  She left the bike in the car park and went into Primark, grabbing a basket at the entrance. She didn’t know what she was looking for until she spotted them: onesies. All-in-one zip-up fleece suits with feet. Just like they’d all worn as babies. The designs ranged from pink with snowflakes to full-on penguin-style with a hood. The leopard-print one even had a tail. She felt as if she was going to expire with excitement as she stuffed them into her basket.

  She could just see the scene on Christmas morning when she produced one for everybody. They’d be the most perfect lounging-about attire and would encourage the silly streak in all of them. The thought of her dad in the dog one with ears and a tail made her giggle. She could just imagine the photographs they’d end up with.

  The girl at the cash desk was obviously over the humorous aspect of the onesies: Lainey was rather disappointed with her lack of chat as she scanned them.

  Her phone rang in her handbag: ‘Jules’, the screen read.

  ‘Good morning!’ Lainey said.

  ‘Hey, Lainz, you sound chirpy. What are you up to?’

  ‘I’m in Dundrum, shopping.’

  ‘No way! You’ve got the bug!’

  ‘I think it’s more necessity, but I’m doing well so far. How was the rest of your night?’

  ‘It was good.’ She sounded a little unsure.

  ‘Go on.’

  ‘Well, I met Anna and we got on really well, but nothing happened. Neither of us made a move and by four o’clock we’d called it a night. I was at the turning point where I could have ended up messy drunk or go home with my dignity intact.’

  ‘Fair enough. Maybe you both need time to adjust to your new-found feelings before you make any big leaps?’

  ‘That’s true,’ Jules agreed. ‘But I can’t help thinking that if she really was interested she’d be wanting to rip my clothes off. Does true love wait for the right moment?’

  ‘Probably not in the movies, but this is real life. Maybe it’s worth taking it slowly. You’ve been friends for a while so the next step probably needs to be nurtured a little.’

  ‘Lainz, you’re the best.’ They said goodbye and hung up.

  Lainey couldn’t get Drake’s comments out of her head. She knew she needed help on the fashion front but she’d never realised quite how androgynous she appeared to men. She didn’t want to spend Christmas moping, and the post-drinking fear had set in, so she went into Starbucks and treated herself to a hot drink. As she nibbled her brownie and dived into her gingerbread latte, complete with gingerbread-flavoured syrup, whipped cream and nutmeg, she knew things must be all right with the world.

  Ten minutes later, she gathered up her bag of onesies and walked back out to the shops. She glanced up and saw that a whole floor seemed dedicated to hairdressing. An invisible force beckoned her towards it. She went to the lift and pressed the button. When the doors opened, she got in and rode up.

  She went into the first salon she came to. ‘I don’t have an appointment, but is there any way you could fit me in now?’ she asked a girl with bubble-gum pink hair.

  ‘What did you want done?’ she asked, chewing her pen as she consulted the computer screen with the schedules.

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Oh.’ The girl looked up at her. ‘Maggie’s free. She’s one of our top stylists and her next appointment just cancelled. Do you want to have a chat with her?’

  She had Grandma’s name, which Lainey took as a sign. ‘I’d love to.’

  The girl led her to a chair, and a moment later Maggie was with her. ‘What do you have in mind?’ she asked.

  ‘If I tell you something, do you promise not to laugh at me?’ Lainey asked.

  ‘Sure.’

  ‘I was out at drinks with some colleagues last night. One of them told me in a drunken moment that the entire office had assumed I was gay. They also think I’m manly. I know you’re not a magician, and there’s only so much you can do with a pair of scissors and curling tongs, but could you help me to look more like the person I know I am inside?’

  ‘First off,’ Maggie said, ‘your man sounds like a prick. Second, you have the most amazing features and I know exactly what to do. Would you let my colleague shape your eyebrows too?’

  ‘Go for it,’ Lainey said. ‘I’m all yours.’

  It was a bit weird. One minute she’d been drinking a latte and the next she was giving her verdict on Maggie’s handiwork.

  ‘What do you think?’

  ‘Wow,’ Lainey whispered.

  ‘You look stunning!’ Maggie seemed thrilled by the transformation.

  ‘That’s gorgeous.’ Pink Hair had sidled over. ‘Isn’t Maggie the business? She does my hair too.’

  Lainey didn’t say she was glad she hadn’t known that before because if she had she wouldn’t have let Maggie within an ass’s roar of her head. Instead she agreed that she loved her new look. Her hair was curving onto the sides of her face in sharp, spiky points – almost elfin. The dark colour remained, but Maggie had put a deep purple rinse through it. ‘It’s so funky,’ Maggie said now. ‘This is soft wax, which I’d recommend you buy. It just keeps the pixie look happening throughout the day. Cara did a great job with your brows too. Are you pleased?’

  ‘I really am,’ Lainey said, awed. ‘I had no idea I could look like this.
’ She had never envisaged herself as a funky pixie, but now that she’d become one, she couldn’t help but like it. As she pulled on her leather biker jacket, Maggie wished her a happy Christmas.

  She left the shopping centre, still clutching the onesies, returned to her bike and roared towards her flat. She’d changed so much since this time last year, she marvelled. The timid and unsure girl who’d relied on Grandma for everything had gone. She was probably what the world would class as a late developer, but Lainey was starting to feel ready to make her mark on the world. Drake had actually done her a favour last night, she decided. He’d given her the final push she’d needed to kick-start the rest of her life.

  Seth had undoubtedly left her a little tarnished, but now was her time to shine.

  23

  Step into Christmas

  Pippa was exhausted but happy. The police had been so kind to her since her ordeal with the taxi driver. They had reassured her that he was in no doubt that he must keep away from her and her apartment.

  ‘I’m just terrified he’ll turn up and really show me who’s boss next time,’ she’d said to the policeman.

  ‘If he knows what’s good for him he’ll keep his temper and his fists to himself in future,’ he’d told Pippa. ‘He’s a typical bully. Now that he’s been taken to task for what he’s done, he’s changed his tune. If you’d seen the shock on his face when we cautioned him you’d understand. If you catch so much as a sniff of him coming near you, just call me.’

  Now Pippa and Skye were having a cup of coffee at the kitchen table.

  ‘I can’t believe I’m almost addicted to coffee.’ Skye giggled. ‘I’d barely tasted it before you made me that espresso when we were putting the website together. It’s like rocket fuel!’