Between Heaven and Hell

by Erin Trejo

  “I don’t know why I’m here, Cord,” she says once more. I shake my head, knowing that she knows exactly what brought her here, I just want to hear her say it, admit it.

  “You do. Now tell me.” My tone turns harsh. Ava licks her lips before forcing herself to speak.

  “Fine. I want you to touch me. Ok? Is that what you wanted to hear?” A smile tugs at the corner of my lips. I knew what she wanted when she stepped foot inside this office.

  “Was that so hard to admit?” I ask huskily before lowering my lips to hers. I barely brush them against her pouty lips when she moans.

  “You left me alone. I didn’t know.” Yes, I did. I left her alone for her own good, but here she is coming here of her own freewill.

  “I’m here now.” Whispering against her lips, I take them with mine. My tongue grinds against her lips until she parts them for me, then I snake it inside her mouth, dancing with hers. My hand comes to cup the back of her head, holding her in place as I devour her, fuck her with my mouth. Pushing her back slightly, she hits the door, but I don’t stop. I need this. I need what she has to offer. I lower my hands to slide around her waist before slipping them inside her skirt. Skimming my fingers over her panties, she’s soaking wet already.

  “How long have you been waiting for me?” I growl against her neck as I continue my assault on her mouth. When she doesn’t answer me, I slowly slide to my knees in front of her. Lifting her skirt, I push her legs apart. The view from here is miraculous. Sliding her panties to the side, I lean closer, inhaling her scent.

  “Fuck, Ava.” It’s almost too much to handle. She’s too much of what I want but can never keep. She’s unique and I knew it from the moment I laid eyes on her but having her here now, I know what I want.

  My tongue darts out, sliding through the slickness that I find between her thighs. I run one hand up her legs to part her lips for me. My tongue thrashes against her eagerly waiting body as I take out my frustrations. So many things go wrong in this life but in this moment, everything is right. Her taste, her touch, all of it seems so perfect. Sucking her clit into my mouth, I slide my finger inside of her as her hands grip my hair. She grinds her pussy into my face, panting and moaning. I slide my fingers inside of her roughly again before I feel her body lock up around me. Her juices flow as her orgasm rushes over her. I lick at every single drop until it runs down my chin. So fucking good and wet, I want to fuck her right here against this door. She’s so damn responsive to me. Having enough, I rip her panties from her body as she gasps before tossing them to the floor. I shove myself up to stand in front of her, our eyes locking as she trembles from her orgasm. When I grip her hips in my hands, she whines. It’s so goddamn perfect. I spin her to face away from me, pulling a condom from my back pocket. Undoing my slacks, I shove them down my legs and rip the packet open, sliding the condom down my length.

  “I can’t stand not being inside of you. Not being all the way in that hot wet pussy.” Gripping her hips, I pull her ass out towards me before lining up my cock with that sweet pink wetness. Without giving her any warning, I plunge into her.

  “Cord!” My name leaves her lips like it belongs there. Rolling my hips, I hit her all the way inside, taking little pieces of her to hold onto. With her hips planted firmly in my hands, I pump into her. The world blurs around me. There is nothing more than this moment, the moment that I let myself go and just be with her. As much as I wished the real world was like this, I can at least enjoy the moments in time that I steal with her. That’s all we have, stolen moments that give me a false sense of peace.

  “Take me, Ava.” Grunting, I push into her further, loving the way our bodies connect and react to each other. With a few more thrusts, I lose myself. Ava comes at the same time I do, causing a euphoric glow to cast itself over my eyes. I let myself twitch inside of her for a few minutes before slowly pulling out. Ava adjusts her skirt as I slide the condom off and pulling my slacks back up my legs before walking towards my desk, discarding it in the trash. I adjust my pants before connecting eyes with Ava. So much I want to say and do but all of it has to be kept at a distance. There is no way I can have anything with her.

  “Come here.” Her eyes spark as she walks towards me. Her hips sway and my cock responds. He can be insatiable. How does the world seem to fuck me at every turn? Why when I’m at the highest point in my life did fate have to throw Ava in my path? It’s a sick fucking joke, that’s why. Nevertheless, I slide my arms around Ava’s waist, pulling her against me. Her head falls to my chest as I lean in and inhale her scent, a scent I can never seem to get enough of.

  “I’ve missed you,” I whisper into her hair before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Those words aren’t a lie. I have missed her. The overall sense of peace that engulfs me when she’s near me is something I wished I’d have forever.

  “You left me alone; I wasn’t sure what to do.” Blowing out a breath, I hold her tighter.

  “This life doesn’t allow for me to be happy, Ava. There are so many things that happen that take that away from me. I’ve grown to cut people off at some point. I can’t have a normal life.” Ava sighs into my chest. She’s the Governor’s daughter; she has to understand this to a point.

  “I know all too well. That doesn’t mean that I like it. I still feel a connection to you,” she admits to me. Closing my eyes, I let that sink in. I feel it too; I just close it off.

  “They’re bringing Amelia tomorrow. Would you stay with me tonight? Be here when she comes?” As much as I’d like to ask her to stay every day, this has to be better than nothing.

  “I’d like that. Are you nervous?” Ava pulls back, looking into my eyes.

  “I don’t get nervous. I just know that I can’t be what she needs. The only thing I have to offer her is financial security.” Something in her eyes wants to ask more questions. She wants more answers than I can give her. We stand in a silent stare down. Each of us knowing that the other isn’t going to answer the questions that eat away at us.

  “You have more to offer than you think,” she purrs. I admire the way she looks at things. So positive but I know it’s not true, not anymore.

  “I know the darkness that’s in me. I’m glad you think otherwise but truthfully, there isn’t anything left. Come on. Let’s get something to eat.” Grabbing Ava’s hand, I lead her out of my office and down the stairs toward the kitchen.

  “How is everything with you?” I ask, finding that I want to know about her life. Ava shrugs as I sit her on the stool next to the counter. I grab out a tray filled with cheeses, crackers, and fruits, setting it in front of her. Making my way around the counter, I take the seat next to her.

  “It’s ok, I guess. Ran into an old boyfriend the other day.” My stomach isn’t settled when she says that. I don’t know who her ex might be, but I don’t like it.

  “How did that go?” Trying to be polite is the last thing on my mind. In fact, I want to slit his fucking throat, keeping Ava for myself.

  “It was ok. He asked me to dinner next week.” Popping a piece of cheese into my mouth, I occupy it, so I don’t say something to piss her off. “It’s Daniel Gambino,” she adds. My eyes jerk to hers. I want to say no: I want to tell her she can’t go but who am I to her? I am nothing.

  “Wasn’t he the ex you bit?” Trying to ease her into rethinking, I bring up the past. Ava nods her head. I watch her lips as she puts a strawberry into her mouth, biting a piece off. The way her lips move as she chews makes me want to shove my cock between them.

  “He’s changed. It’s been a long time since we’ve even seen each other.” I know it has. I made sure he kept his distance and now he’s trying to get back in with her. Why? What’s he after?

  “Well, I hope you have a good time,” I say sarcastically. Pushing off the stool, I suddenly feel the need to get some space between us.

  “Don’t walk away from me again, Cord.” Stopping right when she speaks, I slide my hands into my pockets before turning to face her.

>   “You didn’t want more with me than this remember?” She snaps at me. Shaking my head, she uses my own words against me. How ironic.

  “You’re right, I don’t. Come to bed,” I remind her. She looks torn between what she wants and what she should do. In the end, she knows she can’t resist me. Pushing off the stool, she walks up next to me before sliding her hand into my pocket, gripping mine. A small smile tugs at my lips before I walk us back upstairs and towards my bedroom. Ava sits on the bed causing my insides to squirm. She looks so devastatingly beautiful sitting on the silk comforter. My eyes travel over her as I slide my jacket down my arms. Tossing it to the chair, I move to unbutton my shirt next. Her eyes follow my every move while licking her lips.

  “I apologize, Miss Sinclair. I don’t have anything for you to sleep in.” Lowering my pants, she smiles up at me.

  “Do I really need something?” Shaking my head from side to side, she knows she doesn’t. My eyes stay on hers before I stalk towards her. Pulling her up in front of me, I pull her against my body.

  “You wouldn’t be in them long anyway,” I mumble as I press my lips to the side of her neck making her squirm. I’ve never felt anything as soft as Ava. Why can’t I have it? Why can’t this life give me what I want so much? My lips trail a hot line of fire down her neck towards her shoulder. Nipping at her soft skin, she moans slightly.

  “Can I keep you, Ava? If only for one night?” Biting her earlobe, she gasps at my words.

  “I can’t lose my heart again, Cord.” That’s all I needed to hear. She’s as broken as I am. She isn’t going to give in willingly, but I don’t want her to. I want to keep her just like this. The only way that we can truly have each other is with no strings attached. I can’t give her emotions and she can’t give me her heart. Maybe in the end this is how things are supposed to work out.

  Two broken people never able to love.

  Chapter 15

  I woke up early this morning with my stomach in knots. Amelia comes to live with me today and I still don’t know how I feel about it. Ava lies next to me looking like the angel she is. Her hair is fanned out on the pillow and the sun coming through the window sets off a glow around her. She’s perfectly perfect. Perfect for someone that can give her what she needs. Yet I can’t seem to let her go. I want her. I need her. In ways that I never saw coming, I want to keep her here in my own perverse way. What do I want her as? My no strings attached lover? Shaking my head, she wiggles in her sleep before those angelic eyes open and beam up at me.

  “Morning.” Her smile is as bright as the sun.

  “Morning, mia bella ragazza.” Running my fingers down her cheek, she closes her eyes again. Everything within me screams to hold on but I know I can’t.

  “Did you sleep well?” Ava nods her head.

  “I’m glad. Lucy will bring up breakfast and I had her wash your clothes.” Ava’s eyes open to lock with mine once more before she speaks.

  “Do you know anything about my father?” Her question throws me off. This wasn’t exactly the conversation I thought we would have this morning.

  “As in?” I question. Ava chews her lips nervously. There are questions sitting at the tip of her tongue, I can see it.

  “I don’t know. Never mind,” she says trying to pull away from me. Reaching for her, I pull her body against mine.

  “Talk to me.”

  “He just seems like he’s hiding things from me and my mom. We don’t talk anymore. He kept my money from me and when I turned twenty-one, he was supposed to release my accounts, but he never did.” My blood boils in my veins. Governor Sinclair has always been twisted and into things he has no business being in. I’ve kept tabs on the man since I’ve taken over and to be honest, I don’t like what I see.

  “That’s why you’re working in that shitty clinic?” Stating the obvious, she glances over at me with anger in her eyes.

  “It’s a job. I get paid.” Yeah, a real job.

  “It’s nothing. I can imagine your pay is as shitty as the building itself,” I grumble. Ava huffs before sitting up, taking the sheet with her.

  “At least it’s legal!” A woman snapping at me has never looked as sexy as it does right now. Typically, women know better than to mouth me the way Ava is but something about it coming from her lips does something to me.

  “Now, Miss Sinclair, you uncover the reality that is my world!” Knowing I need to keep her at a distance, I raise my voice before climbing out of bed. Pulling my pants on, I don’t bother to turn and look at her. There is no reason to.

  “Is that what you wanted, Cord? You wanted me to realize that this world isn’t for me?” Hearing her say it and realizing it are two different things.

  “You’ve lived in this world for as long as I have, Ava.” Buttoning up my shirt, I don’t plan to argue the facts with her, but she should know how shady this world actually is.

  “What does that mean?” She asks as I pull my shoes on. As I head towards the bathroom ignoring her, Ava appears in front of me.

  “What the fuck does that mean, Cordae?” In my face is the last place she needs to be but I fucking love it. When her hands come up to push into my chest, I almost lose what sanity I have left. Knocking on the devil’s door is not the ideal place for her. He will open that door and the heat behind it is not something she can handle. Grabbing her shoulders roughly, I shake her slightly.

  “Do you not realize who your father is? Do you not realize who Daniel Gambino is? For fuck’s sake, Ava. Open those little angel eyes of yours!” Releasing her, I head into the bathroom, leaving her to ponder that alone.

  She may think I’m the bad guy here, but she doesn’t realize how long she’s been sleeping with the enemy. In fact, she may be deeper in this shit than she likes to think. I finish getting ready and when I come back into the room, she isn’t in it. I don’t know if that makes me happy or not. I head out of my room and down the stairs to find her standing there with her hands clasped together. She seems to be lost in thought. Ava didn’t press the issue with me earlier as I went into the bathroom, not that I cared if she did. The conversation was over before it began. I’m not the type to sugar coat things or go out of my way to hide the truth. My life is what it is and the faster she realizes that the easier it will be on her. With my hands clasped in front of me, I await the arrival of Amelia. I can’t say that I’m excited about this either.

  “The cars pulling up now,” Nikolai announces as Ava comes to stand next to me.

  “That conversation isn’t over,” She whispers loud enough for me to hear. A smile pulls across my face. I love how assertive she can be.

  “It’s been over. It wasn’t even a conversation, sweetheart.” Her huff does nothing to me. Not an ounce of me gives a shit that it’s bothering her. The door opens as a small girl walks in. Dark hair and darker eyes, she does look a lot like me. Cocking my head to the side, I examine her the same way she examines me.

  “You must be Amelia,” I say. Her eyes slowly travel to meet mine. I can see my father so clearly in them that it makes me sick to even look at her.

  “Are you my brother?” Her voice is quiet as she awaits my answer. I swallow hard. I don’t know how to respond to that. I don’t want her looking at me like a brother. I can’t be a brother to her. I don’t have it in me.

  “I’m Cordae. You can call me Cord.” Her eyes don’t leave mine. She stares at me so deeply I want to crawl out of my own skin.

  “Is this where I’m going to live now?” Amelia’s eyes dance around the room before coming back to mine.

  “It is. You’ll be safe here. You’ll have your own room.” Her eyes brighten if only slightly.

  “I’m Ava. Remember me?” Ava leans down, smiling at Amelia before she nods.

  “You were the one that was nice to me,” Amelia says softly as if people have treated her badly. That only pisses me off further. Ava smiles before taking her hand.

  “Do you live here too?” Amelia looks at her as if she may cry if she says
no.

  “I don’t but I can visit.” Yeah, we all know that her visits will be with me not Amelia. The awkward silence that follows does little to unnerve me. In fact, it’s a little annoying.

  “This is Julius. He will be your bodyguard. Anything you need you can ask him,” I say, shoving him forward as he takes her hand in his. Julius was the obvious choice for many reasons. He’s younger, he can keep up with a child and he’s very much more laid back than the other guys.

  “Well, I have a meeting to get to,” I announce. Nodding at Julius, I head towards the front door when Ava grabs my arm.

  “You can’t just leave. She just got here,” she hisses. Chuckling slightly, I look down at her and say,

  “If you’re so concerned, you stay with her.” Shaking her grasp from my arm, I head out the door.

  Someone needs to have a little talk with the good old Governor about his businesses.

  Chapter 16

  I go in unannounced as usual. I don’t feel that with my power, I need formal appointments anymore.

  “What the hell?” His eyes snap to mine as I smile.

  “I think this meeting is over don’t you think, Governor?” He stares at me in shock for a moment before he snaps out of it.

  “We can resume this later, Sally,” nodding to the woman who stands and walks past me with a pissed off glint in her eyes. I grin.

  “What are you doing here, Vitale?” Gritting his teeth, I want nothing more than to shove them down his throat.

  “Some things have come to my attention. I thought we’d discuss them,” I tell him as I clasp my hands in front of me. I sit in the chair across from him hoping that it makes him nervous as it should.

  “You show up unannounced and demand we speak?” Chuckling, he looks around as if he had other choices.

  The thing about his type is that they rely on their status to play key parts. Unfortunately for him, I do too. I tilt my head to the side as I take him in. The questions I have for him can’t be asked. I want to know why he used his daughter. I want to know why he sealed her accounts and refused to give her what belongs to her, but that will have to wait.