Faint at first, then louder, paired gasps came faster and faster.
No, this wasn't a massage.
Unfortunately, I couldn't be sure from a gasp who was who. Had I heard someone who sounded like Tessa with the moan? Or had it really been my wife? I strained listening, hoping and dreading to hear something more concrete. At least if I was wrong about whom it was, I was standing where no one else could see me. That way, if the woman of the couple having sex wasn't Tessa, I wouldn't be seen to be embarrassed. I clutched within myself the secrecy of my knowledge. I just had to wait…
The pants came fast and frantic. Gasping whispers taunted and mocked me. Why couldn't they be louder? Clearer? Why couldn't they call out each other's names? Did people really have sex so quietly other than the grunts and gasps? Did I?
My eyes watered with frustration. The push-pull within me dragged me one way, then the other.
Silence, followed by another sigh. A male groan sounded loud. I looked up, craning my neck as if I could see up, into a room, and down. Bending vision? Why not? Why couldn't I? Suddenly, the male part of the grunts turned harsh. The feminine gasps turned harsher. A sharp slapping sound began to rhythmically echo around me. I knew the sound instantly – balls slapping down hard against an ass. Whoever was fucking was now in the missionary position, likely with the woman's legs up in the air and the man driving his dick down into her pussy. The slapping was heavy and loud – firm and commanding. The rhythm was stable, steady, and sustained.
Drilling me with dread, I head a harsh, gasping whisper. "Oh, Donny…"
So it was Donny. My hopes of the pair being someone unknown were dashed and deflated. My shoulders ached with doom as I frantically wondered who the woman might be. Was it his wife Hailey? Had they snuck off to get some action? Had it been a while since they had done it so the woman said she had missed it? Or was it my wife Tessa? I had a glimmer of hope and relief that it could be Tessa's mother, instead. Hadn't Gina and the uncle and her sister all shared looks after talking to Donny about reconnecting?
I was desperate to hope Gina was weird enough to have something going with her nephew. But behind that vain wish was the certainty that Tessa was cheating on me. I was trying to find any excuse not to believe it, despite her protestations she had never cheated. But her cousin? Would Tessa have ever done something with her cousin? I could believe it more of her weird mother… And somehow it didn't seem all too weird. What if it was Tessa and Donny?
I was struck with a strange relief, not complete, but nonetheless a lessening of the jealousy. Curiosity wriggled in there, trying to make room in my tortured mind. Almost as if I would be relieved if my wife was having a fling with Donny, I heard the echoes in my mind of a little voice claiming at least it wouldn't be as bad as having an affair with someone like Garth or Dustin.
I took out my phone and thumbed to last week's text. I expanded the picture and looked longingly at the hard cock. I wish mine was like that – hard and erect. Dustin hadn't sent anything since and seemed to finally be wearying of getting his revenge on me. That I had not deleted his last few pictures reminded me of my ED and my useless hopes of ever attaining an erection again.
The slaps of Donny's balls grew louder and faster. His groans got harsher and harder. He was going to cum and he was drilling whoever it was with no intention of pulling out. He growled triumphantly with a final resounding slap of his balls against her ass. His grunts replaced the slapping sounds as he vocalized his orgasm. A feminine gasp and sigh preceded a rise in her efforts. Fierce whispers grew until her panting approach to orgasm replaced his diminishing ejaculations. Suddenly, loudly, she called out, "Oh, Donny. Yes! Yes!" Her panting gasps signaled her orgasm.
It was my wife, Tessa.
And my dick was half swollen in my pants.
CHAPTER 16
I saw her, a few minutes later, walking without Donny, apparently searching for me. Her hair was wild and messed with sex. Her skirt was rumpled and her blouse was mis-buttoned. Her mother gave her an approving smile and me a smug look of satisfaction. Donny showed up seconds later, looking sweaty and worn out. His father clapped his back and his mother smiled at him sweetly. She hugged my wife tenderly later. I took her home at the end of the day, saying nothing, but she knew something was up. I had wallowed through the rest of the day as if some alien had abducted me and removed my stomach to replace it with something heavy, metallic, and filled with ill.
She chewed seriously at her fingernail, looking both worried and sexually sated. The flush of orgasm had rested on her for hours. In our bedroom, she broke the silence. "What's wrong, Clark?" Her face told me she knew that I knew. The expression was common to a child having been caught but trying to deny it.
I stood there, naked. "You and Donny have something going on?"
Her eyes went large and dropped down to my dick, then away.
I got into bed. "I heard you two." I didn't feel like sleeping but it seemed like giving up on the day was the easiest thing to do.
She rubbed her arms nervously. "You…? You what?"
I was a total turmoil of relief and jealousy. How dare she? But then again, it was her cousin and they had done it before? Had they really had sex or had it just sounded like it? I needed to know. My dick started feeling warm.
She undressed slowly and didn't say anything else. She got into bed naked and avoided my eyes. That motion almost caused me to roll out of bed on my side, as if my body was as repulsed as was my mind. It was a physical force that rolled me away from her, as sure as the hot acid feeling in my bruised gut. She said, "Clark…" There was a note of desperation in her voice.
"I took you to your family reunion and you fucked your cousin." I looked at the wall.
She didn't answer, though I felt a shift in the mattress as if she had sank lower in sudden surrender.
I breathed evenly, numbly amazed that I felt no anger. But the jealousy… I asked, "What right does he have to…?" I trailed off, at a loss for words. No, no anger. But the seething loss and inadequacy inside belittled me.
She sighed heavily. "I'm sorry…"
I spat, "You enjoyed it."
Another sigh of weariness. "Yes."
"And your mother saw; she knew. How could you do that in front of them? In front of me? How—"
"Yes, she knew."
I turned towards her, stunned at the audacity her mother had shown towards me. "It looked like she was rubbing it in my face."
Her face was drawn, downcast, and discouraged. She flicked her eyes up, fast, and saw me looking. She cast them back down in a hurry. "I'm sorry."
Curious as to how Gina had known, I said, "This has happened before, too?"
She nodded, but said nothing.
"Why? How?"
She heaved a small, slow sigh and firmed her lips. "We were always very close…"
I waited.
"When we were young, we made a pact that by fifteen we would cash in each other's virginity if we hadn't already with someone else…"
"A… pact?"
"We made it when we were twelve."
"Were you two sexually attracted to each other…? Before that? And did your mother know?"
She swallowed and her eyes shifted back and forth between me and the mattress. "Well, yes…"
"So? Tell me."
"There was one time we were at my uncle's cabin. I think we were like seven. Maybe eight. There was only one bathroom and they put us in the tub together…"
I coughed in disbelief and shook my head.
"I was fascinated by his little… Well, you know. Anyway, my mother came in and caught me tugging on it. I thought we were all going to be in trouble, but she just stared and gawked. She ran out and told my aunt and uncle."
"You got in trouble?"
"No, they laughed about it."
"Laughed? Are you serious?"
She nodded. "Mom told me later that if I had to play with someone, she would rather it be someone she knew and trusted, rather than some stran
ge boy. She said my aunt and uncle agreed."
It made sense in a strange way. I shook my head in wonder. I hadn't been raised that way, but I knew a lot of people my parents' age had much looser sexual morals. Not everybody was from the strict Baptist Bible Belt.
Tessa said, "I think mom and Uncle Roger have… goofed around… I saw her do the popsicle thing to him and they… have always had this energy between them."
"But he's your mom's sister's husband."
"Yeah, so? I don't question what they do. Anyway, so we sort of kept playing around. Not in front of anyone, but…"
I squinted at her. "How long did this go on? Or did it ever stop?"
She blushed a bright red. "We, uh," she licked her lips and darted her eyes around the bed, "I don't know – I guess we stopped when I turned eighteen."
"Four years ago?" My voice trailed off, stunned. "What did you do with him? I mean—"
"At first, we just played. I liked how his dick went from limp and small to large and hard. And I was fascinated by how it grew over the years. I mean, it became huge…" She held out her hands to indicate and bugged out her eyes.
I gauged the distance and scoffed, "No way."
"I'm serious. And this big around." She motioned.
"I call bull." She was just saying it to hurt me, I was sure.
She twisted over and grabbed her phone. "Wanna bet?" She thumbed and swiped, then showed me. A dick as large as she had described was thrust into my face.
I recoiled, shocked at the thickness more than the size. "Wait, what? That's Donny's?"
She nodded and stifled a giggle. "Sorry, I had to take a picture."
The dick was in her hand and I could just see the edge of her wedding ring in the shadow. "You took that today?"
"Yeah, it seemed like the thing to do…"
I marveled at the length and thickness of it. It didn't put me to shame all that much as far as size, but it was definitely a little more substantial than what I was packing – when I could get it hard. That he could get so hard so easily was what really ground into me my failure.
She waved the phone gently to draw my attention. "So… you see why I couldn't resist?"
I looked away, deliberately. "And your mother knew about this? And your aunt and uncle, too?"
"Mm hmm. They thought our pact was a great idea. That it would ready us for the real world."
"But sex?"
"It's not like it's weird or something—"
"Yes it is."
"They thought it was sweet that we'd make that kind of commitment to each other and that it showed how strong our family bond was."
"So you fucked at fifteen?" Warmth rushed into my dick.
She nodded. "But we played a lot before that. I learned how to give blowjobs from him and we did anal the year before we—"
"He fucked your ass?"
She nodded. "I didn't like it, though. It really hurt but he seemed to like it. We only did it the once."
I threw up my hand. "So, like, did you consummate this pact on your birthday or something?" My dick began to get stiff. It was an odd feeling after going for so long without an erection.
"No, it was a little after. Like a week or something."
I laughed incredulously. My voice held a tone of hysterical sarcasm. "Really? Like, did your mom watch and give pointers? Did your aunt—"
"Clark, no, just stop. It wasn't like that."
"But they knew."
"Yeah, they knew. They were all waiting and wondering if we were going to go through with it."
I asked sarcastically, "Did they throw a celebratory party in honor of the big event?"
She laughed and said pedantically, "No, they didn't throw a party. The families got together and nothing was said. And we did it."
My dick was throbbing. "Did you like it?"
"Of course." She lifted the sheet and saw my reaction. Her eyes widened in joy and delight. "It's hard!"
It was my turn to blush in embarrassment at being caught. I knew I shouldn't be liking what I was hearing, and maybe my stomach didn't, but my dick sure did.
She grabbed it as if seizing it before it went away. She pulled on it and I wondered in that instant if her method of tugging was learned directly from her cousin. The thought drew out a moan from my lips and an acceleration of my pulse and breath.
I asked, "He liked it, too? I guess?"
She nodded absently, too busy marveling over my hardness. "You're hard; you really like hearing this?"
I could lie right now and reject it, but my dick was evidence against me. As much as I was shocked at her story, I couldn't deny that it sent life-giving blood pumping into my dick. At that instant, I knew if I lied and denied it, my erection would wither and go away. At the same time, if I admitted it made my dick hard, I knew my stomach would probably also heave in rebellion. Donny had fucked my wife today and it still made me incredibly jealous and emasculated.
However, that was mitigated by the fact that they had done it before and they were cousins. Donny wasn't some new guy who had stolen her away. And her mother had done something with her sister's husband? Kinky. Very kinky. My dick pulsed with health and vigor. I panted and moved my hips to her tugging.
Suddenly, the horror of her act lost the element of cheating and wrongness. I grasped after it mentally, groping and begging for the affront to return, but it evaporated from my anguish. Left alone with my erection, I had to admit that she had fucked her cousin today and I was turned on by it. The jealousy and sickness receded and allowed my excitement to drive my emotions.
I said, "I guess… I do. Did you like it, today?" My voice became a harsh, shaking whisper. "What he did to you?"
Her eyes flashed with interest. "Yes. I hadn't realized how much I missed… doing him."
I gasped at the surge of sensation tingling along my formerly dormant dick.
She said, "He's slow at first, then he fucks me so deep and hard – like he can't control himself. I… like that feeling."
I groaned. "Did you… make plans to do it again?" A sliver of jealousy returned, burning bright against the raging lust pounding inside me.
She stopped tugging, looking a little guilty. "No. I didn't want… to hurt you. It was just like… I don't know, for old time's sake or something… But if you want, I friended Jake on Twitter—"
"What? Who?"
"You know, the guy from the Halloween party I kissed?"
My dick pulsed and she felt it.
She said, "Anyway, I can flirt with him if you want—"
"No!" The reaction was instant. The jealousy flared. For some reason, her flirting with him would be different than anything she had with her cousin. My throat seized up; I didn't want to tell her that I thought Donny was okay and Jake wasn't. I didn't want to admit to myself that something inside me somehow approved of her pact with her cousin. For whatever reason, it just made clean sense.
She said, "But the last time you got hard was over—"
"I don't want you talking to Jake. I'd rather you unfriended him."
"Unfollow, you mean."
"Yeah."
"You don't want me to flirt with him?"
My answer was delivered without hesitation. "No."
She pondered that while feeling my erection. "But you're turned on over the Donny-thing?"
I swallowed hard. "I guess I am. It… doesn't seem so bad…"
She bit her lower lip and began climbing over me.
A wave of revulsion swept through me over the thought that her cousin had been in her earlier, but the pounding erection flexed eagerly.
She pressed the helmet of my dick against her clit and pushed it back to her hole. She tilted her hips and took the head into her opening. She was gasping, mouth open and excited. She took me in, sliding her pussy down my straining shaft.
It felt so good to me to be hard after so long - and to actually be having sex! I moaned as her velvet heat descended on my hardness.
She began riding me, moving up a
nd down and her hips back and forth. She closed her eyes and trembled as she moved, sighing happily.
That jealousy that had hidden and returned to nag at me made me ask, "Are you thinking of him?"
She moaned loudly and then panted fast, eyes closed. She whispered, "He felt so good…" She moved her hips faster.
Scintillating flares of euphoria shot up my dick and I gripped her hips, fucking my cock up into her with effort. It was good to be fucking again. Very good. Once again, I was faced with the dilemma that wouldn't die within me, no matter how deep I dug its grave: cast it away dead and lose the erections? Or savor it and engage the cruel wickedness that drove my jealousy and fed my sexual excitement?
Would I rather live being jealous and get erections, or live with defeat and Erectile Dysfunction?
I fucked with desperation, trying to work out the balance of my physical predicament against the crushing emasculation of my life. Erections, jealousy, and the shame of her cheating? Or ED, sexual defeat, and the shame of my emasculation? The balances weren't fair. The scales weren't equal. The choices were not good.
My wife gasped above me, body trembling on the verge of orgasm, eyes closed, "Oh… Donny…"
I gasped, alarmed, "Did he… cum in you?"
She cried out, her voice rising with surprise and ecstasy, "Yes… Yes, he did…Oh!" She clawed my chest and hung her head as her body jerked with relieved convulsions. Her voice turned into a grating whisper riding the edge of her orgasm. "It felt so good… so deep…"
Stars flashed before my eyes as my cock swelled and spurt. I gripped her hips and pulled down as hard as I could, adding my cum to any that might remain inside her from her cousin.
But once again, after the sexual endorphins of my orgasm receded, my jealousy and defeat came crashing back down on me. I panted, satisfied, but my interior voice was wailing in failure.
CHAPTER 17
I watched Tessa dress for Allison's pool party. Her tiny bikini provided underwear for her jeans skirt and tube top: it was the only disadvantage of going swimming. I liked reaching up and feeling her bare under her skirts. I liked cupping her little round ass. I liked the moist feel when I could push a finger up her pussy without underclothing in the way.
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