Jealousy

by Laran Mithras

  I still felt no jealousy, but rather amusement. She was tipsy enough to kiss a girl? It almost made me want to laugh because I knew she wrinkled her nose at the suggestion of lesbian relationships: she liked guys, not gals. I asked Garren with a low, curious tone, "Um, did you two shower together? Rinse off after the swim?"

  His cheerful smile accompanied his answer. "Yeah."

  I swallowed with difficulty and tried to keep my voice level. "Did she touch you?" I looked down at his shorts in emphasis.

  "Oh? There? Yeah. A little rinse stroking, you know."

  I clamped my mouth shut as the intense flare of jealousy ground everything down into tension. I looked over at Tessa to excuse my sudden silence.

  She was still sitting, but her head was back and Amy was kissing her neck. The lesbian had also discovered that my wife wasn't wearing anything under her short jeans skirt and was fingering her pussy. My wife hadn't wanted to wear a wet bikini under her clothes and it was hanging outside to dry.

  I gaped with interest, wondering if my wife was imagining Donny, or just allowing Amy to play with her. Whatever the answer, I didn't see any need to rescue her from this hilarious situation. I was definitely going to tease her about it later.

  Amy pushed her over and settled her down on the couch. She slid her hands up and pushed her tube top up. Then she began rubbing up and down on my wife's boobs – massaging, caressing, and moving around in vigorous swirls. She leaned down and sucked a nipple into her mouth. Tessa moaned. Amy used her other hand to return to fingering my wife's pussy. One of the other two girls got down next to my wife and kissed her after taking a tongue-selfie that made my wife laugh. Her gaiety drifted away to be replaced by quiet moans.

  Amy got up to remove her t-shirt.

  Tessa took the opportunity to sit upright – coming up for air. Her eyes attached to mine and she panted woozily. She gave me a tentative smile.

  I shook my head, laughing silently.

  Her smile brightened.

  I turned back to Garren and Allison. I asked her, "If you left for college, and you heard that Tessa had become your boyfriend's fuck buddy, wouldn't you be worried?" I said it with emphasis as I was sure that my point would immediately be clear: jealousy and anger.

  Allison looked surprised. "That would be awesome!"

  "Huh?"

  "She'd be perfect because I know her and trust her."

  I gaped at her. This isn't going like I expected. "But—"

  Garren said, "I'd love to have her as a fuck buddy. She's nice and quiet, and—"

  I coughed. But before I could utter anything, I had glanced at Tessa. Amy was down between her legs and apparently giving her pussy a licking, though I couldn't see it. I almost laughed, except that the other girl was kissing her and rubbing her right breast. The chatty guy who had been stroked by Amy was rubbing the other. Tessa was kissing the girl while getting felt up and licked.

  I warred for a small instant that the guy was taking liberties with my wife. I felt again the stirrings of jealousy. At the same time, my dick began to move in my jeans. You fucking prick; don't you betray me again.

  Allison asked, "Would you mind if Garren tried her out?"

  "What?" I was somewhat distracted.

  "You know, tried her out to see if she'd be a good fuck buddy?"

  My voice was raised in incredulous outrage. "Are you planning to leave town for college?"

  "No, but they could still try it." She looked hopeful.

  "You want him to fuck your best friend? What if he likes it?"

  She looked at me seriously. "That'd be for the best, I mean, I wouldn't want them to hate it."

  "What if you married him and they didn't want to stop?"

  Her face brightened. "That would be so cool. We'd be so close – like family. Let me know when we can try it."

  Jealousy surged through me like a roaring wave, washing away all other sounds.

  Amy had stopped licking Tessa. The chatty guy had his fingers stuffed up my wife's pussy and was kissing her. Her legs were spread as wide as she could for maximum access. His fingers pressed frantically into her, spreading her hole open as he shoved hard to get them as deep as they could go. Their kiss was gasping and filled with lust.

  I shot to my feet, suddenly knowing we couldn't be here with her so-called friends. And Allison thought it would be like family if Garren fucked my wife after he got married?

  Family?

  Like Donny?

  My cock raged in my jeans, but I took the few steps over to the couch and yanked chatty guy's hand out of my wife's pussy.

  He looked up, angry, and said, "Dude."

  I explained perfectly clear, "She's my wife."

  "So? She wants it."

  "And you aren't getting it." I hauled Tessa up and she leaned against me.

  She murmured to me, "I was having fun…"

  I bet you were. I half carried her out back and collected her bikini and our towels. We left the house with Garren and Allison trailing behind wondering what had happened that made me so determined to leave.

  Maybe Allison knew because she said as we were getting into my car, "They were just making out…"

  I knew we could never again go to one of her friend's parties. I sped us away in a swirl of dust and heat.

  Tessa was half slumped against the door, resting woozily. Her hands were in her lap and before we even got onto the freeway, she was moving one of them and breathing lightly – playing with herself. Her hand shifted, pushing fingers inside and drawing them back out and up over her clit. She spread one knee out.

  I unclamped my jaw barely enough to say, "You're that turned on, huh?"

  She hummed quietly in response – which I took for affirmation.

  Was she thinking of Donny? The chatty guy? Amy? Me? I laughed to myself at the latter. So, I asked her. "Who are you thinking about?"

  "Hmm?"

  "You're fingering yourself right here on the freeway and liking it. Who are you thinking about?" I felt as if steam were rising from the collar of my t-shirt.

  "I don't know…" Her eyes couldn't meet mine.

  "Donny? Are you thinking of your cousin?"

  Her lips parted, opening in a quiet gasp and she shoved her fingers up her hole in response.

  I began panting with a frantic need to know. My cock was rigid in a painful way inside my jeans and I was unable to adjust it while driving.

  She moved her fingers in and out, closing her eyes.

  "Tess!"

  "What?"

  "Are you thinking of the guy that just had his hand up your pussy?"

  She closed her eyes again and moaned, shoving her fingers faster. She slouched down and lifted her hips.

  I realized just how toasted she was; she was out of control – fucking herself with her fingers while thinking of Donny and the kid at the party. "Stop it!"

  She straightened and sort of more fell over onto my lap face first. She struggled with my jeans while I protested angrily. She was able to free my cock, however, and her mouth descended on it hungrily.

  I tightened my grip on the steering wheel as she gave me one of the wettest, hardest blowjobs I had ever gotten. Up and down her mouth slid and worked on my shaft with a desperation that led me to believe she wasn't thinking of my cock at all.

  I didn't cum, but I was throbbing harder than I had in months. It wasn't just stiff, it was straining like it was going to blow apart.

  CHAPTER 20

  Seven weeks passed after the skinny-dipping party with not a single erection. I couldn't coax it, beg it, or demand it to harden in the slightest. I avoided talking about Donny or the party so as to remove the anxiety of jealousy from my life.

  I didn't want it or need it.

  Unfortunately, Tessa began to suffer. Almost a year into our marriage now, she was starting to show the despondency of not getting the kind of sexual fulfillment she needed out of our union. I had bought her dildos long ago and they began to see more frequent use.

&nb
sp; It pained me to know I was unable to feel the slightest sensation down there and definitely could not attain any kind of stiffness for penetration. It wasn't Tessa's fault; she tried to help me.

  Except nothing worked.

  Again, I was overly aware that my condition was getting continually worse. Each time I did get an erection, the Erectile Dysfunction that followed was more severe and lasted longer.

  Not even anger got me hard anymore. Seeing Garth outside – even if he wasn't running with Tessa – produced not a flicker of feeling in my dick.

  It's dead, Jim.

  I answered my phone to a call as the mechanical voice announced, "Incoming call from Bernard Taylor."

  "Bend? What's up?" He usually texted.

  "Hey, dude, I have a favor to ask."

  I said again, "What's up?"

  "Remember I said I got a new place?"

  "Yeah?" He had texted me months ago about it.

  "Well, the lease on my apartment ends right on time, but the escrow got delayed by a few days. "

  "Oh? You need a place to stay?"

  "Yeah. All my stuff is being stored by Mickey's company and I need a place for four days. I'd get a motel, but the moving cost has me stretched…"

  "Bend, shut up. Of course you can."

  "You really wouldn't mind?"

  "Fuck no. Four days is nothing."

  "Thanks, dude; you're a lifesaver."

  "When is it? Now? Or…?"

  "Middle next week, from Wednesday morning to Saturday afternoon – that's when I get the keys. Supposedly. If nothing else gets delayed."

  "It's not a problem. You can crash here."

  He sighed with relief. "Thanks."

  I ended the call with a frown. Bend was my best friend, but would his presence exacerbate my issues? Would anyone hinder me worse? Better? I had become more reclusive as far as reaching out to people. Having Erectile Dysfunction was embarrassing. I was a man without being a man and the dichotomy was damning.

  When Wednesday rolled up like a car at the carwash, the routine of limp manliness had not changed. It was another day, another car to be washed, another wax, nothing new.

  I came home to find Bend on the couch reading his escrow papers. "Hey, guy."

  He lifted his chin at me and set aside the papers. "Thanks again—"

  A measure of my old playfulness poked its head above the surface of my strife. "Shut the fuck up."

  He grinned expansively.

  Tessa was sitting in my recliner looking neglected. If he had been reading important stuff and she was hoping for chatter… Her legs were clamped together to my satisfaction, insuring her commando status didn't show up her skirt.

  However, I caught Bend looking at her skirt and the flicker of his eyes to it reinforced itself over the next couple hours.

  After dinner, he asked me, "So, uh…"

  "Yeah?"

  He leaned over to whisper, even though Tessa had gone to the bathroom, "Mickey told me that she goes commando… Like you?" Amusement flickered in his eyes. Bend was always curious, but otherwise too timid for my tastes; he needed to be led.

  Faced with the truth of his question, I did not deny it. "Yeah… that promise I blabbed about before I got married?" I nodded.

  He chuckled. "I hope I can get my girlfriend to do that."

  "You got a girlfriend? Who's the lucky—"

  He shook his head sharply and looked down. "You know, when I get one."

  I felt sorry for him. He was a great-looking guy but lacked the bravery and confidence to approach a girl. He was shy to the point of solitude around women. He also came off nosy, even though I knew it was more curiosity than gossip-derived desire. That was Bend: hesitant; gutless; and nosy. Still, a great guy.

  He breathed in awe of me. "Here you are, living your dream."

  I ground my teeth together. As close as he might be as a friend, there was no way I was going to admit that after getting the young girl I was seeking and getting her to go commando, that I was now a total failure in the sack.

  His admiration made me bitter. I was too old for Tessa. I was too old-fashioned. I was too straight-laced and moral for her. I had old ideas and beliefs. I really… was just not right for her.

  The match was a failure.

  Chills ran down my back as I faced Bend with my silence and realized it all, side to side, top to bottom.

  Tessa had better relations – if kinky – with her cousin than me. That thought instantly replayed in my head the fierce and hard sounds of Donny's balls slapping commandingly down onto my wife's ass. How could I gainsay that Donny's cock was a better match for my wife's pussy than mine? After all, they were close cousins. They had grown up together. She had tugged on Donny's little cock when they were young and in the tub together. She had watched his cock mature and grow as he became a man. She had played with it and sucked it, learning what she needed to know as a woman from her cousin. They had fucked at fifteen in a planned event so they could both lose their virginity to people they trusted. Tessa had admitted that it was wonderful and they had continued to fuck.

  To her, fucking Donny was familiar and normal – and not cheating because it was something she grew up with. A part of her. An intimate, intricate idiosyncrasy that I was powerless to alter or oppose.

  How was I supposed to combat that?

  To her, it wasn't bad or wrong or wicked; it was natural and normal.

  The memory of the slapping sounds played over and over in my head, making me jerk with each rapid sound as if I were being struck in my ignorance.

  Bend asked something, but I wasn't paying attention.

  Was it good that she had this relationship with her cousin? Wasn't it better than with Dustin, or Garren, or Garth? She was married to me and he was married to little blonde Hailey. Wasn't that as safe as could be? The slapping sounds thudded in my head and I gripped the edge of the table as tiny responding pulses echoed in my dick. At the same time, my gut twisted sickeningly in revulsion. She had cum on his cock. He had blown his load into her while she wore her wedding ring.

  I argued within myself that it was wrong, it was right, it was good, it was bad. I knew she was in contact with her cousin by text. Were they planning another rendezvous? Reminiscing about his plunging cock stretching open her pussy hole?

  I had seen the picture. He was thick. He had put that thing into my wife and fucked her.

  But was it bad?

  Were Hailey and I the only ones who were outraged? Because Donny and Tessa sure weren't. To them, it was no different than a smile or hug between them. Had he gone home after that reunion and fucked his tiny wife with his cock smeared with my wife's juices?

  My cock twitched with an almost unfamiliar surge. For whatever reason, I hoped he had. I hoped she smelled Tessa all over him and felt her juices on his cock as it slid in and out of her.

  I discovered I was gritting my teeth hard enough to cause a headache.

  Bend left me alone, mostly. He spent his days working and coming home before me. Thursday and Friday I came home to find him and Tessa chatting about inane stuff.

  Fashion of all things on Friday.

  But it was that end of the week relief in me that tensed when I saw Tessa sitting with her legs open as they talked. Was this the subconscious thing? Her knees weren't parted enough to see anything as she was wearing a mid-thigh skirt. I could see right up her inner thighs to darkness. However, the hint was enough to cause consternation within me.

  From my capture of Bend's glances, I could tell that her open legs weren't lost on him, either. But I knew him well and knew he wouldn't act on it, no matter how enticing she might appear – whether consciously or not.

  Poor guy; he was being tormented by her.

  And more so on Saturday when he came out from his shower to find us standing in the kitchen just before her run. Some slight sound he made alerted Tessa and she instantly moved her hands back to adjust the shorts behind her. It was a maddeningly sexual tease that I had beheld ma
ny times: she pulled at the band on her shorts on both sides, exposing most of her butt cheeks, and then resettling the material as if to cover them properly.

  Bend's eyes widened, almost popping out of his head. He gulped hard and glanced at me sheepishly.

  I ground my teeth together because Tessa continued with her preparation for her run as if the move was just another detail in readying herself. Had she even been aware?

  Bend looked at both of us.

  My wife seemed to notice him and gave him a very bright smile and a shiny eye-twinkle that put me on edge. She reached over to the fruit bowl on the counter and grabbed up a banana – Bend's morning breakfast. She lifted it near to her mouth with a subtle wave in front of her lips. "Breakfast?"

  The pit in my stomach hardened, curled, and whirled with anxiety.

  He grunted, sounding strangled, "Yeah, thanks."

  Just seeing their hands touching the same banana as she passed it to him caused a sickening slow roll in my stomach as if the ship of my sanity was capsizing. Did she even realize she was teasing him? Even if this is what I wanted – had desired to teach to a malleable young wife – was she aware that she was succeeding to the point I questioned my manhood?

  I had wanted this, and now that I had it, I was suffering consequences I had not considered. I had envisioned my fantasy of a young wife as being someone whom I could shape and form, but I was faced with the reality that she was just as much an individual with emotions and ideas as was I. Why had I not thought to consider my desires might be altered by whomever I chose as my wife?

  My insides were being crushed and ground under the weight of my internal struggles. Unfortunately, such sharp and deep passions did not help raise erections; the complete lack of sensation there was decidedly counter to the rending of my sanity.

  Bend left on Sunday after having witnessed Tessa's teasing twice on her mid-morning runs.

  CHAPTER 21

  Monday started as a relief and ended in a nightmare. I heard her when I came home from work.

  I heard it all.

  Her gasp was quickly followed by a sharp request: "Harder, Bend. Deeper. Come on!"

  Mental balance fled – if I had possessed any. I nudged open the bedroom door, expecting to find the worst of my nightmares. Instead, I found her alone, dildo in one hand and vibrator in the other. She plunged the fake cock deep into her pussy and flexed upwards with her upper body as she teased her clit with the vibrator.