by May Dawson
“It’s funny to imagine someone trying to stuff him into a locker, though,” I said.
“Imagine how that would end,” he said. When he smiled, his cheekbones rose in his ruddy cheeks, so sharp and gorgeous that he almost hurt to look at. “About as well as someone picking on you.”
I snorted. “Can we fast-forward to that being over, then?”
“At least the bad days here bond us together. Maybe you and Julia are never exactly going to be fast friends. But you and Hanna? You and me?” A playful smile touched his lips, as he contemplated our friendship, before he went on. “I know Cade and Nix have been inseparable since their freshman year.”
“Cade didn’t think Nix-the-witch might be evil?” My lips pursed. “He certainly seems to think I might be evil.”
The memory of Cade kissing me, his lips probing mine open, rose in my memory. It felt like I was lying.
“Nah,” he said. He tilted his head to one side, studying me. “It’s funny. He was flustered the other day when he left your room.”
“Really?” I shifted forward, scrubbing the rag across the floor intently.
Even without looking at him, I could feel Tristan’s amusement radiating.
I had serious regrets now about opening this door.
“I know my big brother pretty well,” Tristan said. “And I don’t think I’ve ever seen him flustered before in his life.”
“I don’t know,” I said haughtily. Strange warmth rose in my chest at the thought of leaving Cade rattled. “He must find me uniquely irritating.”
“I’m sure that’s it.” He paused, sitting up to rub his shoulder with one hand as he winced.
“This is torture,” I said, reaching out impulsively to touch his other big shoulder.
He shifted, turning so his back was in front of me and scooting toward me until he bumped my knee. I breathed in the scent of his aftershave and of the floor wax as I stared at the back of his head. It took me a second to realize what he wanted.
“Do I get a massage too?” I demanded as I sunk my thumbs deep into his back muscles, resting my fingertips lightly on his shoulders. My stomach was light, almost as if I were on a roller coaster.
He moaned softly as my thumbs stroked across his sore muscles. “You get anything you want.”
“Oh, I’ll hold you to that.”
He turned, and I let my hand stay on his shoulder as we were suddenly intimately close.
“I have the funniest feeling I should be jealous of Cade,” he said softly.
“Jealous?” I raised my eyebrows.
“Just a little,” he said. He touched my face, his thumb sliding across my cheekbone.
“I don’t like your brother very much,” I said. “I hate all these stupid rules and punishments that don’t make sense. I think he’s such a jerk.”
“I didn’t know we were playing two truths and a lie,” he said.
I didn’t like Cade. What I felt for Cade was something altogether more complicated, unlike the simple joy I got from being anywhere near Tristan. I put my hand over his against my face, feeling like I should pull away from him. But I didn’t want to. I liked having him touch me.
“I’ll play too,” he said. “My middle name is Justin. I secretly love Barbara Streisand. And I’m not secretly obsessed with kissing you again.”
I tapped my finger against my lips thoughtfully, as if I was debating. My heart was suddenly racing, and I wondered if he could hear it. “Which album of Barbara’s—”
His lips pressed against mine, stopping me.
When my hand slipped against his cheek, the hard shape of his cheekbone was smooth under my fingertips. His lips against mine sent a flare of heat through my body. As his tongue slipped against my upper lip, I opened up, letting him in, as our kisses deepened.
“What the hell are the two of you doing?” Cade demanded.
I jerked back from Tristan, then flashed Cade a dark look as if I was annoyed at him for interrupting.
“A science experiment,” I said, reminding him that he told me to go ahead and kiss his brother.
Tristan raised his eyebrows as he leaned back, and a throb of guilt twisted through me. I should’ve told him that I kissed his brother before I kissed him. What was I doing?
And it was certainly not a science experiment. I’d been daydreaming about kissing Tristan again since that night he touched his fingers to his bruised lip and I leaned in.
“You can do that on your own time,” Cade said, crossing his arms. “Right now, you’re on my time.”
“I’m sure that’s the issue,” Tristan murmured, his eyes wide, his face innocent.
“Push,” Cade said impatiently. “Deidra, get up. Come with me.”
Reluctantly, I stood, dropping the rag. Tristan’s long, lean back was a perfectly straight line as he did push-ups.
“You can keep going until I get back so we can talk,” Cade said. He was already walking away down the hall as he whipped back, “Bring the rag.”
“Sorry,” I whispered to Tristan as I scooped and picked up the rag.
Tristan looked up at me and winked. He wasn’t mad at me, and that made me feel lighter as I left him behind.
“Any time,” Cade said, holding open the door to the stairs.
I breezed through the door, under his arm. He followed me into the concrete stairwell.
As soon as the fire door had slammed shut behind him, I told him, “Don’t be mean to Tristan.”
“Mean?” His eyebrows arched over those gorgeous gold-flecked eyes. “Mean? You could at least try to sound like a grown-up, Ainsley.”
“Because you’re being very grown-up right now.” I crossed my arms over my chest as I faced him.
“What are you trying to say?” he demanded, a harsh edge in his voice.
“You’re jealous,” I said.
His eyes widened and he turned away, as if he was shocked by such a ridiculous accusation. Then suddenly, he stepped close to me. His hands braced on either side of the wall next to my head, bringing his body dangerously close to mine.
My heart stuttered, but not out of fear. His eyes were full of heat, his lips almost close enough to reach.
“Just because I made a stupid mistake once,” he said, “does not mean I’m jealous now.”
“It wasn’t that stupid,” I said. “I like when you kiss me, Cade Dane.”
Present tense. Not past. I wasn’t done kissing Cade Dane. I could feel that in the heat curling through my body now when we were so close together.
My desire to touch him was a constant ache; to kiss him and to make him stop holding himself away from me. Despite how close he was, our bodies didn’t touch, not even a little; his hands were on the cold cinderblocks when they could’ve been touching me. Such a waste.
He stared at me, his eyes smoldering.
Somewhere up in the stairwell, there was the sound of a door swinging shut.
The two of us exchanged a look.
“You’re nothing but trouble, aren’t you?” he demanded. He suddenly pulled back from me, shoving his hands in his pockets, his jaw setting.
“Because this is my fault,” I said. “Jeez. You couldn’t just walk in to check on Tristan and me, see we were busy, and walk away…”
“You’re right,” he interrupted. “This is my fault. But I’m done kissing you.”
“We’ll see about that.” I ducked under his arm and headed for the stairs.
“What the hell are you doing?” he frowned, staring at me.
“You were taking me upstairs to wax floors with Julia, right?” I said. “The ultimate punishment. It’s what I’d do with a wayward cadet.”
“Yes,” he said guardedly.
“If I were jealous,” I finished.
What was he going to do, put me on restriction again? He was too honest to risk a situation where he had to explain how I’d nettled him so badly.
As I headed up the stairs, he mused behind me, “You really think you’re in control here, don’t you?”
“No,” I said. “I don’t. And I hate it.”
But when it came to the heat between Cade and me, I didn’t think he was in control either.
Chapter Thirty
“We never got to finish our little fight,” Julia said.
I crinkled my nose at her. “Didn’t we though? Didn’t you get enough, Julia?”
She looked at me as if I was the crazy one. “No. Cade interrupted us.” Her lips twisted in a way that was becoming far too familiar; she thought she was about to say something clever and cutting. “He seems very protective of you.”
Right, that’s why he intervened then. Because otherwise, Julia would have kicked my ass. Sure.
“Yes, he does, doesn’t he?” I answered. Let her marinate in that; Cade was protective of me, and even though it was driving me mad, there was a connection between Cade and me that Julia didn’t share.
“Guess it’s the dead parents club,” she said.
A dead-parents shot. You can’t get much lower than that. “Wow, I wonder why he doesn’t like you.”
“If Cade doesn’t like me, it’s probably because I defiled his little brother.”
The thought of her touching Tristan sent a spike of anger and jealousy through my chest. God, I hated her.
“Are you here for a reason, Julia?” I demanded. She was so transparent. “Because I still have a whole lot of floor to wax.”
“I just thought we could finish things,” she said. “Meet me tonight.”
“We’re both confined to the dorms,” I reminded her.
And, as far as I was concerned, I already finished things. I’d never forget that look of shock on her face as she realized that, despite all her fancy moves, in front of all her friends, she was losing.
I didn’t mind doing it again, though. Anger hummed through my veins, and the chance to hurt someone who hurt my friends… well. I was not feeling shy when it came to a fight.
She waved her hand airily. “The cadre is bored with us by night time, I promise you that. They’ll all be out drinking tonight.”
Did Cade drink? It was hard to imagine the straight-laced guy losing control of himself at all, or even having fun.
But then, his lips against mine were hot and searing, his touch passionate against my body. I never would have imagined that either.
“Come on,” she said. “Out in the woods again. Nine o’clock.”
My lips pursed. I wanted to fight her so badly. I definitely didn’t want her to think I was scared.
But the thought of Cade and Nix’s faces if they discovered I’d gone out to fight Julia at night—which was incredibly stupid—flitted through my mind. I couldn’t shake the memory of their gazes fixed on me disappointedly. I didn’t want that again.
I needed to fit in here, follow the rules, stay out of trouble. Once I had my magic under control, then I’d get my revenge for my uncle’s death and maybe get out of the academy. That was all that mattered. Even if Julia thought I was scared…so what? She didn’t matter to me.
“Sure,” I said, and her eyes brightened before I went on, “Go ahead and wait for me if I’m late. I’ll be there eventually.”
Her eyes darkened. “Scared?”
“I’m eighteen years old, Julia. Does that really work on anyone around here?”
“You’d be surprised. Hunters have a lot of pride.” She crossed her arms, and the challenging look on her face said I wouldn’t know what it meant to be a Hunter.
I was done talking to her. I returned to my polishing, resolutely ignoring her even though she continued to stand there, her boots planted in front of me. The muscles in my upper back and arms ached from the combination of the repetitive work and the soreness I’d already developed in the training yard, and my lower back was tight enough to send constant twitches up my spine.
I wanted to get up and kick her ass across this slickly polished floor. Instead, I put the heel of my hand into the polishing rag and scrubbed hard.
“You look good on your hands and knees,” she said, examining her fingernails. “I bet Cade loves seeing you like this.”
I ignored her.
“All the promise for the future,” she went on. “I heard a funny thing about you and Cade.”
I didn’t bother to look up. I didn’t want her to see the sudden tension in my face as my heart rate sped. It was one thing for her to go after me; I didn’t have much to lose here. But this place was Cade and Tristan’s home.
“The best part is, I heard it from you,” she said, “And if you’re not there tonight, I’m going to Malcolm. After all, Cade’s affection for you is getting in the way of your training. It’s probably what’s making you too soft to fight me.”
Shit. Had she been the one in the stairwell? It could have been anyone. Or she could just be taking a shot in the dark.
I dropped the polishing rag and climbed to my feet, wiping my hands off on my now-filthy PT shorts. Her gaze flickered from her fingernails to my face, a smug smirk coming to her lips.
“I’m not playing your stupid little games,” I said. “But if you want so badly for me to kick your ass again, whatever.”
She seemed to consider that. “That sounds exactly like you’re playing my stupid little games, actually.”
She was awful, but she wasn’t wrong.
“I get how this works,” I said. If I said anything about Cade, even if I said that I hated him—which was true fifty percent of the time, and especially today—she’d read that as me defending him. “You see the new girl come in, she’s far more badass than you are, and you think your position in this school is in danger.”
She nodded slowly. “Let me know how that arrogance works out for you.”
“I’ll show you tonight how it works out for me,” I said. “Don’t worry, Julia. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want your crown.”
“Sure,” she said.
“But I’ll take it from you. Just for something to do.” I tossed her the rag. “For now, just shut up and scrub.”
As I polished the floors, I fumed at myself for playing into her hands. But I didn’t have any doubt that she’d keep poking into what had happened between Cade and me, and she’d make something up if she had to.
If I kicked her ass, maybe she’d shut up. Hopefully she’d leave Hanna alone too. Bullies tend to fold once they realize you can make them pay.
And let’s be honest. I’d probably enjoy it too.
Chapter Thirty-One
That night, Hanna was pulling on a skimpy pink tank top when she asked me, “Do you want me to stay? We can hang out?”
“No, go out and bring me back food, please.” I said. The food in the dining hall was bad enough; the brown bag meals on restriction were even worse. “Besides, you should still get to have fun even though I’m…”
“I assumed we would have fun together,” Hanna said, her lips pursing up in a smile. “But okay.”
Hanna’s easy, instant friendship made me all the more irritated about how Julia and company treated her. At least in our house, she had plenty of friends.
But if Hanna stayed with me and I was caught sneaking out, she’d be in trouble too. This way, she had plausible deniability.
“We would,” I said. “I just desperately need food.”
“I’ve got you,” she promised me.
After she’d gone, I tried to read the pages of a novel I’d grabbed from the library. It was the weirdest thing being here. I didn’t have a cell phone, I didn’t have a laptop. Our homework was hand-written; no one wanted our notes on spells and mythic beasts to accidentally find their way onto the internet. It was all so weird and different from my old life.
No wonder Liam had a grudge against smart phones. Apparently Hunters were all technologic philistines.
For the first time, a memory of Liam pulled a smile to my lips, before grief slammed into me all over again.
I glanced at the clock and rolled off my bed. I would be early, but I was desperate to get away from my own t
houghts, which felt relentless in the quiet of the dorm room.
I was playing Julia’s stupid little game, but as anger rolled through my body—anger that had nothing to do with her—I didn’t care. I just wanted to fight.
The dorm hallway was quiet. Nix and Cade were on the second floor, so I didn’t have to worry as much about running into them. They already seemed to be everywhere. Or maybe I was just far too keenly aware of them, every time they were anywhere in my vicinity. I bit my lower lip at the thought.
But I slipped down the empty hallway to the equally quiet concrete stairwell and down the echoing steps without any trouble. The worst part was crossing the green expanse to the forest; I looked back over my shoulder, certain that I was about to be caught.
I decided to walk through the forest, skirting the trail. If Cade or Nix did realize I was gone, this was probably the first place they’d check. It seemed like they knew me a little too well already..
It was slow going, picking my way through the fallen trees and brambles of the forest. As I neared the clearing, I heard something ahead of me. I froze.
A low human laugh. A murmur.
Carefully, I crept forward.
In the forest ringing the clearing, Julia and four of her guy friends stood. I could just glimpse the cleared grass beyond them through the trees. They would have been concealed if I’d come up the trail.
“I’d better get ready to meet our friend,” Julia said. She checked her watch. “Hopefully she doesn’t pussy out after we went to all this effort to make her a surprise party.”
“Is this your best idea?” One of them asked dourly.
“Probably not, no,” she admitted with a laugh, and the tension between them seemed to ease. “But look. She didn’t earn her place here like the rest of us. And she is such a cocky bitch.”
“Only room for one of those around here,” Ryder agreed, which to my surprise, made Julia grin wider.
“Fair,” she said. “But come on. We just need to ground her in reality before things get any worse.”
Oh, how touching. She’d set up what was clearly a trap for me out of the goodness of her heart.