by May Dawson
“She’s skipped over the worst part of our first year,” one of the guys said. “All the hazing and bonding we all went through. It’s only fair to give her a small taste of it. Otherwise, how’s she ever going to fit in here?”
“Fine,” Ryder groused. “But I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
You should listen to Ryder.
If I were smart, I’d sneak back through the woods, go to bed, leave the five of them here in the woods to enjoy the cold night air.
But they weren’t expecting me. In fact, they were splitting up; Julia slipped ahead into the clearing. Ryder and another guy, a big blond, skirted the clearing to the other side.
That left just me and two guys, a dark-haired guy and a thin first year with ginger hair. I licked my lips, debating which course of action to take.
I should be smart.
But I was spoiling for a fight, and they really deserved one.
“The new girl’s really gotten under her skin, huh?” the guy in front of me asked.
They never saw me coming. I kicked out the back of the red-head’s knee, then whirled to kick the second one in the chest as he turned toward me, surprise written across his face. He let out a whoof of air. As soon as the two of them were down, I headed through the woods for Julia.
She was still gazing down the trail, watching for me.
“Weren’t looking for a fair fight, after all?” I asked.
As she whirled, I cold-cocked her across the face. My knuckles popped when they slammed against her jaw, but I didn’t care. Before she could react, I punched her in the face again. Her nose cracked under my knuckles. I hadn’t gotten in as good a punch the last time I bloodied her nose, but this time, her nose would have to be set.
She kept coming, though, tucking her head forward and trying to fight back despite the choking sound as blood from her nose filled her throat. I stepped back, taking a defensive posture, letting her come at me.
I felt the guys behind me before they reached me. As she rushed at me, I dropped, throwing my leg out to catch hers. She was light, the same as me, so it was easier to bring her down to the ground. These guys would be harder. I was already launching myself back to my feet toward them.
Ryder and I blocked each other’s blows as the two of us squared off. The other guy hesitated, trying to figure out how to help his friend.
Then something hard caught me across the side of the head, knocking me to one side with the force of the blow. All I felt was the pressure that had slammed me to one side—thanks to adrenaline—but I caught a glimpse of Julia out of the corner of my eye. She had a big stick in her hands, which she was wielding like a baseball bat. She slammed it down again on my lower back as I scrambled up again.
“Nope.” Ryder went after her, reaching for the stick. “Jules, she’s not worth it. You’re going to get yourself in so much trouble.”
But the other guy slammed into me just then, knocking me to the ground. The two of us scrabbled for position, trying to get a punch in, while I tried to keep an eye on Julia out of the corner of my eye. She could really hurt me, worse than either of us had intended. The other two guys were back up now, although one of them was limping badly.
Yep. This had been stupid. I should be back in my bed right now.
I made it on top and punched the other guy across the face before he could throw me. Julia slammed me into the ground, knocking me off of him. The guy I’d just hit was cursing as he grabbed my dominant hand and forced it to the ground, pinning my wrist to the ground with his knee.
Julia punched me across the face. Stars exploded in front of my gaze as I felt my nose give the same way hers had. She punched me again, and again, as my blood splattered across the two of us. I fought desperately, trying to get loose.
Ryder was behind her, trying to pull her off me, but she was intent. The look in her eyes was murderous.
One of the other guys went after my free hand to pin me down. I got a good blow in on Julia’s side, but then he got my wrist and slammed it down on the ground. His knee pressed into my wrist painfully hard.
Panic flooded my chest. Blood was draining backward into my throat now since I was down on the ground, and I couldn’t stop choking, coughing splutters of blood up into Julia’s face. These idiots could kill me tonight, just like that one Hunter had died in this clearing.
I wouldn’t mind Cade or Nix coming to stop this now. I’d even face their wrath afterward and be grateful for it.
My vision started to fade dark at the edges.
My wrists were burning. I turned to look at the man who pinned my wrist down, his knee digging painfully into my forearm. The bracelet on my wrist was glowing, and wisps of flame seemed to curl around it.
Suddenly, the bracelets slipped off my wrists.
The guy who held my wrist suddenly looked panicked as my magic sparked. He fell on his ass, as if he’d been burned, clutching his knee.
“Julia!” he shouted, but it was too late.
I slammed my hand into her arm, grabbing her elbow. It would’ve been an ineffectual attempt to stop the blow she was about to deliver, her arm cocking up, her fist aimed at my face one more time.
But my magic flowed into her. Her face changed, etching with horror. She looked down at my hand. Golden fire danced around my fingers without burning me, and she screamed. She screamed and screamed and didn’t stop as she fell off me.
I scrambled up to my knees, staring at my hands as the golden flames leapt to my other hand, as if they were both igniting now. Golden magic arced between my hands.
Pressure was building in my chest, wild and desperate now, like energy I had to dispel. It hurt.
“Deidra.” The voice was distant. Someone grabbed my shoulder. “Deidra! I’m right here. Calm down.”
It was Nix’s low, urgent voice in my ear.
The magic burned through my veins now, hot and painful. My lips parted in a silent scream. This was just like last time. The world around me was about to explode all over again.
Nix was in danger. I tried to tell him to get away from me, but I couldn’t hear my own voice over the desperate thrum of blood in my ears.
“No,” he said. “I’m right here with you. You’re not in danger anymore, Deidra. Let the magic go. You don’t have to do anything with it at all. Let it fade.”
“I can’t.” It was burning me, and I squeezed my eyes shut against the desperate need to let it fly away from me, to let it burn outside my own skin.
The image of what it would do flashed through my mind, just like the night with my uncle. The trees nearby us would shatter under the force of the blast. Flames would leap everywhere. The fires had raged, full of magical energy that fed on itself, across cement; I could only imagine how the flames would engulf us here in the forest. If Nix miraculously survived the blast, if anyone else in our vicinity survived, they’d choke under the weight of the smoke. The images of destruction flashing through my mind did nothing to cool my rising panic.
“Yes you can,” he said, his voice certain. “I trust you, Deidra. I’m not leaving you.”
His arms were around me, holding me tight, and I clutched him back, burying my head in his shoulder as if I could hide from the pain.
If I let the magic go loose, he’d be killed in the blast.
Chapter Thirty-Two
“You can do this,” Nix said. “Imagine the magic shrinking back into you. The flames sputtering out.”
The pressure in my chest was so intense that if my magic didn’t explode, I would. It felt impossible to draw any air into my lungs. Calm down. I had to calm down.
“Open your eyes.” Nix’s hand was on my cheek, firm and comforting. I started to shake my head, because squeezing my eyes shut felt like it was part of holding the magic back inside me. But I trusted him, so I reluctantly opened my eyes.
His vivid blue eyes stared into mine. I had thought of his eyes as cold every time I saw them before, but this time, through the blur of my emotion, I somehow saw them more clearly than I
ever had before. His eyes were light blue at the iris, deepening to a dark ocean blue at the rim. Flecked with silver, they were magnetic.
“I’m right here,” he said, rubbing his thumb across my cheek gently. “I can take the magic from you if you just let it go slowly. Just let it go.”
“I’m going to hurt you.” My voice came out in a rasp, as if I’d been screaming.
“No, you’re not. We can do this together.” His voice was calm. “You don’t have to be afraid when I’m with you.”
His other hand caught mine. Magic sparked between his fingers, white-gold sparks, and he took my hand without hesitation. Everyone else had been burned when they touched me, but his face stayed calm. He wrapped his fingers around mine.
Slowly, the pressure in my chest lessened. When I could breathe, I could imagine the magic that danced around me like flames, that threatened to blow us all into next week, flowing back into my chest, being contained.
The flames went out. Suddenly, it was very still and very cold in the forest. I drew in a shuddering, ragged breath.
“You did it.” Nix hugged me, and I buried my head in his chest. My arms automatically closed around his lean waist, but as soon as I felt the first spark of embarrassment, his arms closed around me. As he held me close, he leaned his head against mine. “You really did it.”
I drew another shaky breath. “You seemed convinced that I could do it before, but now… you seem really celebratory.”
“I knew you could,” he said. “I can, and you can do anything I can…you’re so powerful. I just wasn’t sure you would.”
I stared up at him, perplexed. My cheek still burned, as if with the memory of his hand against my face. The way his thumb had stroked my cheek had seemed so fond.
It had certainly worked to calm me down. Which was his goal. That was why he had touched me so confidently, so familiarly. It didn’t mean anything.
I took a step back. My legs felt shaky beneath me, but they held.
“Do you really think I want to hurt anyone?” I whispered.
“Yeah, I kind of do, Deathwish,” he said softly. “But it’s not like it’s a feeling I’m unfamiliar with myself.”
I glanced away. I felt cold, chilled to the bone now after I’d just burned so hot a minute ago. The clearing was still and empty except for Nix and me. Everyone else must have been evacuated out of the potential blast zone while he stayed and tried to talk me down.
“You saw what I did back home,” I said. “Why’d you stay?”
“You needed me,” he said.
“Maybe you’ve got a death wish too.”
“Maybe,” he said. “But you’re still here, and so am I.”
“Yeah.” Dread twisted through my gut. Now everyone knew just how dangerous I was. It wasn’t just theoretical anymore. I’d have to face my fellow students tomorrow, who had already looked at me twice, curious about the strange circumstances that had brought me here.
“That’s the best you can do sometimes,” he said. “Survive to face another day even if you won’t be glad to see it. Keep on going, keep on trusting.”
“I can’t say here,” I said. “I’m dangerous… no one’s going to want me here.”
“You don’t have anywhere else to go,” he said.
Well, that had the painful ring of truth. I glanced away from him, unable to meet his eyes.
He took my thumb in his fingers, turning my face to meet his. Firmly, he told me, “You can’t go out there.”
“The witch is looking for me,” I said. “Is it just because I’m powerful? Or because I’m a monster too, like he is?”
He hesitated.
Nix didn’t lie as well as Cade did. Nix didn’t seem like the kind of person who bothered to lie; he didn’t give a damn if you liked the truth or not.
“Got it,” I said, my cheeks flushing. “I’m a monster.”
“Don’t be stupid,” he said impatiently.
“You’re the one who’s stupid.” I gestured at the empty field. Somewhere, down through the trees, were students and instructors standing around waiting for an explosion, for flames rushing through the trees? “You’re the only one who would get this close to a monster.”
“Shut up,” he said, closing the distance between us. “You’re not a monster. You’re a girl with incredible powers. Gifts. You just have to figure out what to do with them.”
He was so close to me that I could feel the heat coming off his body as he looked down at me. He put his hand on my cheek as if he’d calm me down again, as if I were some wild animal he could tame.
When his thumb stroked gently over my cheekbone, his fingers running across my jaw, I thought maybe there was some truth to that.
His blue eyes were steady on mine, and I leaned forward. I thought he was going to kiss me.
“I’m a monster,” he said softly. “I’d know if you were one.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
As Nix and I walked back down the path that led from the forest back to the academy, I could hear voices up ahead. I looked at him quickly, hoping he would save me from what was waiting. I didn’t want to deal with the questioning looks or the suspicious whispers.
Nix looked back at me without a hint of sympathy. It made it seem like I’d imagined his body against mine minutes before, or the warmth in his eyes when he comforted me.
“This whole situation could’ve been avoided if you’d just followed the rules,” he said.
“I’m keenly aware.” He really didn’t need to rub in the lesson. “I have regrets.”
“Maybe one of these days, you’ll try trusting Cade and me,” he said.
“It’s not that I don’t trust you.”
Frustration etched his lips into a hard line. My stomach twisted. For some reason, I wanted him to trust me, even though every action I took seemed as if I was striving for the opposite.
When we walk out into the clearing, though, people were walking away from us, trickling back toward the dormitory buildings.
Julia stopped at the doorway to her house, turning back with a searching look on her face. The guy next to her, who had a red medic’s kit thrown over her shoulder, beckoned her on impatiently. She held a blood-soaked white t-shirt to her face.
Her eyes found mine and narrowed dangerously.
“You’re going to have a crooked nose if you don’t let Jude get that set,” Cade told her, shooing her off into the building.
It was only when she’d gone inside that Cade muttered, so quietly that I almost didn’t hear him, “And I hope it hurts.”
For the first time, I realized that my nose didn’t hurt anymore. I touched it quickly. It was sore when I pinched the bridge of my nose, but not agonizing as it should have been. I looked down at my shirt, which clung to my body, soaked with my own blood. I hadn’t just imagined that choking feeling as Julia pinned me, as I tilted over into panic.
“Malcolm’s gone?” Nix asked him.
Cade turned. “Yeah. He’s doing damage control.”
Cade’s eyes studied my face. His face was blank, impossible to read.
But suddenly, Julia came flying out of the house. Nix stepped in front of me, the movement quicker than thought, and for a second, all I could see was his broad shoulders.
“She’s going to be thrown out of here,” she said, her voice low and fierce. “I already called my father.”
I stepped out from behind Nix’s back. I didn’t need him to protect me, although apparently I did need his help to protect the world from me.
Julia’s pretty face was a mess. She held her head still tilted back awkwardly, even as she tried to stare us all down. One of her eyes was beginning to swell shut, and there was drying blood all across her nose and the side of her face.
“I can’t imagine what you told Daddy,” Cade said drily. “I’m sure he’d be proud to hear about you bullying the new kid who was just orphaned. Really good stuff, Julia.”
The kid who was just orphaned. Those words twisted in my g
ut.
Her eyes narrowed at him. “She’s dangerous. She doesn’t belong here.”
“That’s exactly why she belongs here,” Nix said. “Now run along.”
Nix put his hand on her shoulder, pushing her roughly toward the house. The look she flashed at me over her shoulder told me that this wasn’t over.
I stared back at her, meeting her gaze, until Cade grabbed my shoulder. I looked at him in surprise.
“Look at her face.” Cade leaned in close to me, his voice too soft to carry to her but nonetheless fierce. “Are you proud of yourself? Someone you’ll have to hunt with one day, someone you’ll have to trust. You two fools could have killed each other.”
“I’ll never trust her,” I promised him.
Cade’s lips twisted in exasperation. Whatever he was going to say, he stopped himself as Nix returned to us. Cade released my shoulder.
Even though he’d just grabbed me so impatiently, I still felt cold without his touch.
“Let’s get you patched up,” Cade said. “Then Malcolm wants to see us in his office.”
I ran my fingers through my hair because I had nothing to say, but they tangled at the ends. I glanced down to find blood beginning to dry in my hair, clumping it together. I wasn’t sure if it was my blood or not.
“Did you heal me?” I asked Nix.
His gaze flickered to me, then away. “You were losing it.”
I wanted to snap back, but I couldn’t deny that, no matter how embarrassing it was.
Cade glanced at the dorms behind us, then up, at the windows. I followed his gaze to find pale faces watching us, blurry behind the glass.
“Let’s head to the academic building. I’ve got my medical kit in there,” Cade said.
“It’s just delaying the inevitable,” Nix said, his voice hard.
“Yeah, well, let’s delay it anyway,” Cade said.
I felt a rush of gratitude through my chest that I could never have given voice to.
The two of them fell in alongside me, flanking me, and we walked across campus together. They didn’t touch me, but I could feel the warmth of their bodies anyway.