Returning Home: A Second Chance Homecoming (Return To Me Book 4)

by Parks, AL

  She was like the photos in the ad campaign. Bits and pieces of her had been revealed over the course of the week, and now, they combined into one amazing package. Griff just had to convince her to stay in a town that she hated and start down a new path with him. He had never gone into a relationship wanting it to last beyond one night. Now he was considering more than just days and weeks. He was thinking about things they could do together months and years down the road. And wanting that scared the crap out of him.

  ***

  The door to the garage was still open, and loud music filled the shop area. Griff helped Rissa off the bike and they made their way across the shop floor towards the office. Neal was at one of the stations. A large metal hood covered his head, sparks flying around him like fireflies. In one hand he had a large blowtorch while he bent a long pipe to form a new set of handle bars for a bike he had designed.

  Griff closed the door to the office and watched Rissa turn and rest on the edge of the desk. Her hair was still in the ponytail she had quickly pulled it in before the bike ride. He walked over to her and stopped in front of her. Reaching up, he gently pulled the band from her hair, letting the long curls fall loosely around her shoulders. His fingers moved into it. It was soft, shimmering even in the fluorescent light. He watched it fall from between his fingers, the curls bouncing lightly. She didn’t stiffen or try to move away

  His eyes lifted to hers. They were the most beautiful shade of deep emerald green, all soft and sultry. Her hands rested on his hips, her fingers twisting in the hem of his shirt. He ran his hands along either side of her face, finding their way back into her hair. He gently tipped her head back, and lowered his lips to hers.

  Jesus, they were impossibly soft. He slanted his mouth more fully over hers, and drew her bottom lip in between his teeth. A soft gasp escaped from her and hit him square in the chest. He already loved that sound, it was music to his ears. She parted her lips slightly, and he took full advantage, slipping his tongue through the space. Her tongue was against his, slipping and sliding along each other.

  Her hands moved up his body to his chest. His heart was pounding so hard against the palm of her hand. Her fingers flexed into his skin. A long, deep moan come from somewhere deep inside him. HIs lips kissed along the very edge of her jaw. Once he reached her ear, he sucked her earlobe into his mouth until he elicited another sensuous gasp from her.

  “God, Rissa, I shouldn’t want you so bad, but I do.”

  Instantly, she tensed. Her lips went slack, and a soft, whispered, “No,” fell from them. Her hands flattened against in chest and pushed him away. Before his mind could register what had happened, she had her bag and was headed out the door.

  “Riss!”

  She was halfway across the shop when he caught up to her. He reached for her arm, but she yanked away from him and darted outside. He watched as she jumped into the SUV and spun out of the dirt parking lot.

  What the hell just happened? His mind was racing, trying to find something he had done to push her away. She seemed as eager to kiss him as he was to kiss her. Thoughts were becoming a jumbled incoherent mess in his head. All he knew was that Rissa was gone. Somehow he had hurt her, and he had to find her and make sure she was okay.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Clarissa fell through the door of her villa with no recollection of how she had gotten there. She just had to get away from the shop to somewhere safe. Somewhere without memories attached to it.

  “I shouldn’t want you, but I do.”

  The words pounded in her head, but they weren’t Griff’s. They belonged to another man. A man that had no right to take from her what he did.

  She gasped for air. The memories from too many dark nights were vivid in her mind. It was too real, as if time had reversed, and she was reliving that period of her life all over again. His hot breath laced with scotch and cigar against her skin. His lips hard against hers, his tongue forcing its way into her mouth no matter how tightly she tried keep it shut. His hands so rough on her breasts. His erection forcing its way inside of her.

  “Come on, sweetheart. Don’t fight me. Just relax and enjoy it.”

  She ran into the bathroom, tearing the clothes from her body. She could smell him, the monster, the stench of his sweaty body as he climaxed over the top of her. She turned the shower on as hot as she could get it. She didn’t care if it scalded her. She prayed for the scorching of her skin as much now as she had back then. She dropped her head back, letting the water run over her body. Tipping the bottle of body wash, she watched as the pink liquid saturated the washcloth. She worked it into a lather, scrubbing every inch of her body until it was bright red.

  All the while the tears flowed as hot as the water down her face. She hated him for what he had done to her. How he had ruined any chance she had at finding love or happiness. Of ever being in a normal relationship with a man. She slammed her fists against the tiled wall of the shower. Over and over again, she pounded.

  Her cries filled the small space. “I hate you! I hate you!” She continued until her voice was hoarse and her arms too tired to lift. She slumped to the floor of the shower, drew her legs into her chest, and rocked back and forth until the water turned to ice and she had run out of tears. She pulled herself up, turned off the water, and wrapped her hair in a towel. After drying her body, she slipped into the fluffy gray robe hanging on the back of the door and curled into the wingback chair that sat by the door to the veranda.

  She desperately wanted Griff, but knew it was impossible. She would never be able to give him what he needed. She would never be able to be intimate with him. Never fully give herself to him and show him how much she could love him.

  Those things had been ripped away from her by a man who knew nothing of love, only lust and power and control. And there was nothing she could do but hate the man. He was a monster. And he still had so much power and control over her life without actually being in it any longer.

  It was a cruel joke, but one she would face alone. There was no way she would string Griff along and watch him be hurt by her actions. Her inability to love. It wasn’t fair to him, and she cared too much for him to see him hurt.

  This relationship that was developing between them had to end. Fresh tears hit her cheeks, this time for something that was ending before it had a chance to start. Something that, by all indications, would have been wonderful and true.

  ***

  Griff pounded on her door. He put his ear up against it and listened. There was a steady sound coming from somewhere inside. Pounding. Then he heard the cries.

  “I hate you! I hate you!”

  It was Rissa’s voice. He had pushed her too far. She wasn’t ready and her hatred was bellowing out through the wood door that separated them.

  He turned away from her villa and made his way back to his bike. There was no use waiting around to try and talk to her. Her words were clear.

  It was over.

  Before it even started.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  A knock on his front door woke Griff. He was on the couch in the living room of his small house. Groaning, he touched the screen on his cell. Ten-forty in the morning. He would have been amazed he had slept in so late if he hadn’t been up most the night thinking about Rissa and wondering if he should call her.

  Another knock. He stood, buttoned his jeans and looked around for a shirt. He had no idea where he had tossed it in one of his fits last night. He spent most of the night trying to figure out what was happening with Rissa - what secret in past was still causing so much pain. Other times he was pissed he had let her get under his skin. She was his business partner, but he had allowed himself to want more. Need more from her than she was able to give.

  He pulled the door open, letting sunlight flood into the room. Rissa stood on the front porch. Dark circles under her eyes were made more prominent but the sallow skin. Apparently she hadn’t slept much the night before either.

  “Hey, Griff. I’m sorry to just
come by without calling you first, but I need to talk to you.” Her voice was soft, but hoarse. From screaming her hatred or crying, or maybe both.

  He stepped back and let her through the door.

  “How do you know where I live?”

  “I called Maxine. She gave me the address.” Griff let out an exasperated sigh. “Please don’t be mad at her. I told her it was an emergency, and I needed to see you.”

  “Well, come in. Do you want some coffee? I don’t have any made yet, but it won’t take long.” He had tried to avoid her eyes because they had a direct link to his heart, but failed. The green was still as beautiful as ever, but not nearly as bright as they had been the last time he had seen her. When they were kissing in his office, they were alive, excited. And then she was gone.

  “Coffee would be great. Thanks.” He led her into the small kitchen. Pulling the carafe from the coffee maker, he rinsed it our and filled it with water. Replacing the filter and dumping in four scoops of coffee, he filled the reservoir with the water and hit the on button. He had forced himself to concentrate on the task rather than focus on Rissa. All he wanted to do was grab her, take her in his arms, and banish the pain in her eyes forever. God, he hated to see her in so much pain. Hated even more that he had caused it.

  He turned to face her. She was standing next to a kitchen chair fidgeting with her fingers. Her head was down, making it impossible for him to see her eyes.

  “I’m so sorry, Griff, about yesterday. I wish I could explain to you why I ran out like that.”

  “I’m sorry I pushed you too far.” He took a step towards her. “You know you can tell me anything, Riss. I will never judge you, and I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.”

  She finally looked up at him, but her eyes were glossy and they dipped at the corners. “It’s not you - “

  He tossed his hands in the air. He was willing to accept anything she had to tell him, but giving him the pat on the head like a dog was not going to cut it. “Geez, nice cliche, Rissa.”

  She crossed the short distance between them, stopping directly in front of him. Her hands rested on his forearms as they lay across his chest. “Griff, please listen to me. I’m all sorts of fucked up - so broken I can’t be repaired. As much as I want to be the person that can make you happy, I know I can’t give you what you need. I’ll hurt you and you will regret ever getting involved with me. I’ve had to deal with so much hurt and regret in my life. I can’t do it with you.”

  “So, what? We go back to being strictly business partners?” Griff relaxed his arms and let them fall away from his chest. He took both of her hands in his, gently holding them.

  “Well, we could try being friends. That is, if you can handle being friends with a rich girl harboring demons with seriously bad timing.” She was smiling for the first time since she had arrived, and it nearly brought him to his knees. It was nearly killing him that he couldn’t be the one that saved her from the pain, provided happiness and love. It was going to suck just being her friend, but it was still better than nothing. He could still give her those things, just not on the level he had hoped.

  He chuckled as the coffee maker dinged behind him. “Yeah, as long as you can deal with a lowly biker who will never get over the best kiss of his life.” He turned around before she could say anything, and grabbed two mugs from the cabinet. “Take a seat. I’ll grab the coffee.”

  He heard the chair slide along the linoleum floor behind him. He walked to the table, slid her one of the cups, and then sat in the chair next to her. She took a sip, put the cup back on the table and reached her hand across to his.

  “You know it wasn’t about you or the kiss, right? It was about it bumping up against a really bad memory, and it threw me for a loop.”

  “So, you don’t hate me, then?” He took a drink of his coffee, keeping his eyes on hers.

  “Hate you? Why would think I hate you?”

  “I came by to check on you at the villa. I heard you screaming that you hated me, so I left.”

  “Oh, God, Griff. That wasn’t directed at you. I don’t hate you. You’re the one person in this town that I really like and can trust. I’m so sorry you heard that and thought I meant you. Nothing could be farther from the truth.”

  He nodded his head. The next hour was spent drinking the rest of the coffee and talking about anything but the events of the previous day. It had been one of the most magical, memorable moments for Griff. He loved the taste and feel of Rissa. Reveled in her need for him in that brief moment. It had been the perfect slice of time that would have to last him forever.

  She wanted to be friends and business partners, but not lovers. He would do what she wanted and not push her, but it sat like a rock in the pit of his gut.

  ***

  The morning had gone better than Clarissa had expected and that allowed her to concentrate on work she needed to complete for a gallery back in London. They had requested four of her photos for a show coming up in six months and she needed to start editing them and get them sent off to the printer. She sipped on her raspberry ice tea and tossed a handful of dark chocolate M&M’s into her mouth. Her iPad was playing music from her “editing” playlist, and she was happily humming along to Hozier’s, “Take Me To Church.”

  She couldn’t say she was completely happy with the agreement with Griff - to remain friends and business partners only - but she felt relieved. Her relationship with Colin had been easy. He wasn’t demanding of her time, and was satisfied for a while with very basic intimacy. She had never explained to him her reasons for not having sex, just gave it a blanket, “I’m unable to do that right now.” She assumed he thought she had an STD or something, and was fine with not having more of a physical relationship than heavy making out.

  It also worked because he was so focused on his career that he had little time to worry about how his romantic life was in neutral. He was traveling almost as much as she was, so the times they were together were short and rare. If they hadn’t lived together they might never have seen each other. Then came the night that kissing and touching was not enough for Colin. He wanted more, and was more forceful about his needs. Clarissa had fled into the bathroom, locked the door and had a massive panic attack. When she came out, he was gone and she didn’t hear from him for two days. After that, things were strained between them. Two months later, Colin said he had found someone else.

  She was sad, but relieved. The same way she felt now that she and Griff and defined their relationship. But there was also a hollowness in her heart. It hadn’t been there when Colin left, but it was a dull ache now. She never wanted a sexual relationship with Colin, so she didn’t miss it. She had never wanted a sexual relationship with any man she dated after what the monster did to her. But Griff was different. She wanted him in a way she couldn’t explain.

  He was gruff and condescending, matching her own ragged-edged personality. Until she had showed a soft spot, a vulnerability. He hadn’t exploited it or used it against her. He opened up, made her feel safe, and never forced her to explain her fears. He accepted she had secrets without having to know what they were. She knew why she ached. Griff wasn’t just another guy. He was the guy. He was one of a kind, special, someone to hold on to for dear life and never let go.

  Which is what she had done. Because she also couldn’t hurt him, and that was more important to her that her own wants and needs.

  She picked up her cell phone and texted him a message.

  **Brunch**

  A minute passed and there was a ding on her phone.

  **What about it?**

  **They have a great one here on Sunday morning**

  **And?**

  **I owe you breakfast**

  **I’m working tomorrow**