‘You look lovely,’ he said as he opened the passenger door for her. She paused for a second and looked down at herself. She was wearing a midnight blue velvet dress that hadn’t seen the outside of her wardrobe for a long time now. Gray had loved seeing her in it and she’d tussled for a good hour over whether to wear it tonight. In the end, she’d been unable to find anything else that seemed right for the occasion, and she’d shoved the guilt from her thoughts and put it on. When she’d looked in the mirror, the outfit finally complete with a delicate heart necklace, dramatic eye make-up and her hair piled up loosely with a silver clip, she’d been forced to admit that she’d felt pretty good.
‘Thank you,’ Nina said shyly, desperate not to dally.
‘I thought we might go to the Old Apple Loft,’ he added, getting into the driver seat. He turned the key and the engine purred quietly.
‘Do you mind if we don’t?’ Nina asked. ‘It’s just that…’
His face fell. ‘Christ; I should have realised. God, I’m sorry – you went there with your husband?’
She nodded, already aware of so much that she was making taboo when perhaps it didn’t need to be. But she couldn’t go somewhere that reminded her so strongly of Gray, not now when all this was still so new.
‘Sorry. You don’t mind, do you?’
‘It’s me who should be sorry – great lump I am. I should have asked you… Let me think…’
Nina knew a few pubs and bistros around the area but the problem was that she only knew them because Gray had taken her to them during the early days of their relationship when they went out a lot, so suggestions from her were going to be pretty non-existent. She just hoped Colm would think of somewhere new.
‘How do you feel about driving out of town?’ he asked after a moment of drumming on the steering wheel as he looked pensively along the road.
‘That sounds OK. Where were you thinking of?’
‘There’s a little place sits on the canal. They have a nice menu too. I’m just trying to think what it’s called.’
‘Is it the Dovecot?’
‘That’s the one – should I be worried that you know it?’
‘No.’ Nina smiled. ‘I only know it because Robyn mentioned it to me – Peter was going to take her there.’
Colm grinned. ‘Ah… how’s that going?’
‘Robyn and Peter? It’s early days and they’ve hit rocky ground before but she seems really happy that they’re giving it another go. I think they might be in with a chance now that the wife is out of the way… Oh…’ She blushed. Had she said the wrong thing now? Had she put her foot in it by reminding Colm of his wife? Were things always going to be this new and awkward? She hoped they’d get to the stage soon where they wouldn’t be.
‘That’s good,’ he said, not seeming too concerned. ‘And she hasn’t disowned you because we’re going out?’
Nina let out an anxious breath and smiled. ‘Oh no; she’s happy for us.’
‘I’m sure you’re relieved about that.’
‘A bit.’
‘The Dovecot then?’
‘Sounds lovely.’
Colm smiled at her again, that dazzling, breathtaking smile of his, and then turned to the road as he pulled away from the kerb. The moment they left Sparrow Street, Nina felt lighter.
‘Where’s your daughter tonight?’ she asked.
‘Oh, she’s out at a friend’s house. She’ll be happy enough to stay the night so there’s no rush to get back.’
‘That’s good. I suppose it must be hard organising your time around her.’
‘Not as hard as it once was. She’s fifteen now and not so keen for a bedtime story these days.’ He chuckled softly at his own joke. ‘But when her mam left us, my little Polly was the only thing that stopped me from going mad. Without her… well… she gave me a reason to keep going. We’ve had our ups and downs but she’s a lovely girl – even though I may have a biased opinion there – and I’m proud of her.’
‘Does she miss her mum?’
‘Every day, I’m sure. For the first few years she asked Santa every Christmas to bring her back, even though she was a bit too old to believe in Santa. It was a way of expressing her sadness, you know. But as you’ll know, you get used to that hole in your life and you end up working around it, don’t you?’
‘The lantern you wanted to donate for… who’s it for?’
He shook his head, and when he answered his voice was strangely gruff. ‘Polly had a twin when she was born. For about an hour, anyway.’
Nina took a moment to understand what he’d said, and then she turned to the window, her eyes misting. She’d been so wrapped up in the tragedy of her own past that she’d never imagined something like that in his.
‘All water under the bridge now,’ he said in that gruff, struggling voice again, and it was clear that it wasn’t water under the bridge at all. It was also clear, however, that this was not a conversation he wanted to have right now.
‘I suppose Polly misses having a woman about the place?’ she asked.
‘Oh not really – there’ve been plenty of those.’
‘Oh,’ Nina said, going cold now. How many emotions could one person go through in a minute? Lots of women? Had she got him wrong? Was he some kind of serial dater?
‘Yes – cousins, aunts, grandma, plenty of friends… She’s got plenty of female input.’
‘Right, I see,’ Nina said, feeling foolish again. She could only hope the rest of the night wasn’t going to be as fraught as this because she didn’t think she’d be able to take it. ‘Are you still friends with your wife’s family?’
He threw her a sideways look. ‘As much as can be expected. They don’t blame me for what happened – at least they say they don’t – and they’re there when Polly needs them.’
‘I suppose it must be awkward, though.’
‘They always knew Jane could be difficult. To be honest, when she went off it was no great surprise to anyone, even her family.’
‘Is it hard to move on though? Being married to someone who’s not there, I mean? Does it feel a bit like limbo?’
‘For all intents and purposes we’re divorced – I just haven’t got round to sorting the formalities yet. To be honest, I never really had a reason either. I suppose I just got used to the situation.’
‘Would you have been together now if she hadn’t run away?’
‘Who knows? Maybe not. Things were often rocky.’ He looked at her wryly. ‘You’re very interested in my domestic arrangements.’
Nina flushed. ‘Sorry.’
‘Don’t be. I’ll take it as a good sign you’re interested enough in me to… I don’t know… maybe look beyond tonight…?’
‘Oh no!’ Nina said quickly. ‘I rarely look beyond tomorrow’s breakfast these days.’ She gave a self-conscious laugh. ‘No point, is there, because you can never tell what’s coming.’
‘That’s for sure,’ Colm said. ‘How long again is it you’ve been on your own?’
‘Two years.’
‘And there’s really been nobody else in all that time?’
‘No. Why do you ask?’
‘I just find it hard to believe. A woman like you…’
‘A woman like me can be very silly and wrapped up in grief. It took me a long time to work that out. In fact, I think I might still be working that out. Does it worry you? Put you off? That I might come with baggage?’
‘We all come with baggage if we’ve lived long enough and fully enough,’ Colm said gently. ‘Life has a way of making things interesting in one way or another. But I want you to know that my intentions are as honest as they can be,’ he added.
‘Maybe they can be honest but not completely honourable.’
He chuckled. ‘I definitely can’t promise honourable seeing you look so good in that dress.’
The conversation was quickly becoming more than just finding out about each other – it almost felt like each of them had somehow set out their sta
ll, laid out ground rules that the other could understand and play by accordingly. They’d both suffered different kinds of loss but, in the end, they’d both lost. They’d been hurt in different ways, but they’d both been hurt. They’d both been left alone and they were both looking (whether they knew it or not) for someone to heal them.
The conversation turned to lighter topics, and for the rest of the drive they talked mainly about the garden on Sparrow Street, about the other residents, about Colm’s job, Polly’s school reports and extra-curricular activities, the state of Sammy and Diana’s garden when he’d first been employed by them, about his work schedule and the unpredictable nature of self-employment. By the time they’d reached the old thatched pub overlooking an idyllic spot near a canal lock they were like old friends, so that once they’d been seated at a table in a snug booth there was hardly any first-date awkwardness at all. They had drinks Colm had fetched from the bar and snacks were on their way from the pub kitchen, and Nina finally felt something like settled in his company.
‘How come you moved to England?’ she asked. ‘You must miss Ireland?’
‘It’s not so hard to get there and we visit a lot,’ he said. ‘And in case you’re wondering, I didn’t come here for love. I came here long before I’d met Jane.’
‘So what brought you?’
He gave her a sheepish smile. ‘Would you believe that foolish young me thought I might find adventure here?’
Nina raised her eyebrows. ‘There’s no adventure in Dublin?’
He chuckled. ‘Plenty to be sure. But a young man can get bored and want to see somewhere new, doing things that his parents wouldn’t approve of.’
‘So you came here?’ Nina asked incredulously. ‘To Wrenwick?’
‘Not at first.’ He smiled. ‘I started off in Glasgow, and then I came to Wrenwick. That was for love. Jane was studying in Glasgow when I met her, but Wrenwick was home for her. So I followed her here and then we had Polly and…’ He shrugged. ‘It seemed as good a place as any to bring Polly up, and when Jane left me I didn’t want to move Polly back to Ireland – the one thing she needed was stability and moving her wouldn’t give her that.’
Nina’s chin rested on a fist as she listened. ‘It must have been really hard for you,’ she said when he’d finished.
‘I guess you might say I had it bad, but I don’t see it that way.’
‘I’ve heard people complain a lot more about a lot less,’ Nina said.
‘It’s all relative – that’s how I look at it. If your world has never collapsed then a crack looks bad enough, doesn’t it?’
Nina smiled, her heart dancing again. This man… this wonderful, optimistic, kind, fun-loving man could be so good for her if only she could put aside her doubts and guilt completely and let him. There was a physical attraction too, as strong and potent as anything she’d felt for Gray, though she found it harder to acknowledge that. The truth was, she liked Colm – she liked him a lot. Maybe one day she could even love him.
Beyond the windows of the pub, strings of yellow bulbs garlanded the beer garden, reflecting onto the dark waters of the canal like little drops of fire. The night was bitterly cold and yet drinkers still sat outside beneath the warm glow of patio heaters, wrapped in fleece blankets, newly stepped off their narrowboats to take a cheering beer or two before they continued on their way to the next lock. The boats were painted red and green and gold, gleaming lacquer reflected in the light from the pub as they gently knocked against their moorings.
‘Are you alright?’
Nina shook herself, Colm’s warm tones bringing her back to the room.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, giving a little self-conscious laugh. ‘It’s the boats… they look like fun, don’t they?’
‘I’ve never given it much thought before but I suppose they do.’
‘I think it would be nice to float along without a care in the world. For a couple of weeks at least.’
‘I suppose it would. You’ve never been on one?’
‘No. You?’
He shook his head. ‘But maybe,’ he added with a deliciously mischievous gleam in his sea-blue eyes, ‘it’s something we could do together some day.’
Nina smiled. There was no doubt in his expression at all, only absolute certainty that they had a future well beyond tonight. She liked his confidence, and it was infectious, because she was beginning to see that future too. One thing she knew with as much certainty was that she didn’t want tonight to be the one and only night like this.
Chapter Seventeen
A week before, Nina would have been nervous about the prospect of returning to the studios at Wrenwick Community Radio to have another crack at Sammy’s show. But today she was strangely unfazed as she sat with Robyn in his studio for the second time, waiting to go on air. In fact, she suspected Sammy was more nervous than either her or Robyn – though perhaps that was to be expected given what had happened the last time they were here, and that it was his first day back on air, having flouted his doctors’ advice and gone back to work weeks earlier than he ought to have done. Perhaps he was already beginning to regret that decision as he was far from his usual relaxed self, going back and forth across the studio space, checking and rechecking equipment and muttering to himself.
‘Is it just me who doesn’t think he should be here?’ Robyn whispered to Nina, watching him carefully. ‘He’s not right, is he?’
‘I know,’ Nina whispered back. ‘He hasn’t even offered us coffee in a dirty mug so you can tell he’s not right.’
Robyn gave a quick grin. ‘You are, though. Things are going well with that hunk of leprechaun? Haven’t you seen him every night this week?’
‘Not quite,’ Nina said, beaming in spite of Robyn’s sarcasm. Besides, she wasn’t far wrong really. ‘He has a daughter, don’t forget. I don’t think she’d be happy if he was out every night.’
‘Oh, OK, almost every night. Every time I phone you to come round for a chat, that’s for sure.’
Nina’s smile grew. ‘You’re one to talk anyway. You’ve been off the radar since Peter’s split from his wife was made official.’
‘Walking like John Wayne and proud of it.’ Robyn winked and Nina muffled a shriek of shocked laughter.
‘I do not need to know about that!’
‘That’s OK – I’m not going to tell you.’
Nina laughed. ‘Oh, now that’s just being a spoilsport. At least give me something so I get the opportunity to tell you how disgusted I am.’
Robyn grinned again.
‘It’s going well then?’ Nina asked.
‘I really like him.’
‘I guessed that much.’
‘I liked him all along; it was just the wife thing… and you – dark horse. I knew there was something about Colm you weren’t telling me. You should have said when I asked; I feel awful that I was going after him. Imagine if—’
‘Don’t,’ Nina said softly. ‘It wouldn’t have been your fault – it would have been mine, and if you’d ended up together I’d have been happy for you.’
Robyn raised her eyebrows. ‘Really?’
‘Yes,’ Nina said firmly. ‘Absolutely. Even if it had killed me.’
Robyn smiled at Nina fondly.
‘Are you ready, girls?’
They both looked to see Sammy regarding them with a vague look that didn’t fill them with confidence. It was clear that he was not as well as he’d reassured them, but then, that was nothing they hadn’t already guessed. The fact was, there was no telling him so they’d just have to hope the show went as smoothly and with as little stress as possible.
‘Are you sure you’re up to this?’ Robyn asked anyway. ‘Being back at work, I mean. I don’t fancy another day at the hospital.’
‘Whether I am or not, fame is fickle and you’re soon forgotten,’ Sammy said in a solemn tone. ‘If I don’t get back on the horse sooner rather than later, there’ll be some youngster ready to take this slot and I’ll be out o
n my ear.’
Nina was quite sure that wasn’t true, because the old folk of Wrenwick who made up most of his audience were very fond of Sammy.
She smiled brightly. ‘Just take it easy – that’s all we’re saying.’
He regarded them both warmly, and a little of the old Sammy shone through, the one who hadn’t recently been thoroughly rattled by an unwelcome reminder of his own mortality.
‘I’m almost sure God has sent me a pair of guardian angels to watch over me,’ he said.
Robyn spluttered, her shocked laughter ringing across the studio.
‘Bloody hell!’ she cried. ‘If we’re the best He’s got to offer then He doesn’t like you as much as you think He does!’
Sammy grinned now. ‘He must have heard the show then. Still,’ he sniffed, ‘beggars can’t be choosers, can they?’
‘Cheeky bugger! I think you’ve just turned your compliment into an insult!’
There was a knock at the studio window and someone pointed at a clock festooned with threadbare tinsel. Along with a tiny tree on the desk, it was the one and only concession to the approaching festive season as far as Nina could see.
‘Shit!’ Sammy said, plonking himself down at the desk and punching a button.
‘Here we go,’ Robyn whispered as the show jingle began to play. Nina glanced at Robyn, who looked as excited as she’d ever seen her. She loved seeing her friend so happy and content with life – goodness knew she deserved it. In fact, when she really thought about it, Nina couldn’t remember a time when life had looked quite this rosy for her either. Maybe things were looking up for both of them.
Nina wasn’t entirely sure about the choice of venue. After all, she’d come to Roberto’s with her mum and dad for many years as a girl and Winston was well aware of that. But for some reason, he’d seized on the rather old-fashioned pizzeria as his new favourite place since he’d been there again with Nina and broken the news of his imminent engagement. In the circumstances, it seemed like an odd venue to introduce her mother’s replacement. Perhaps Winston hadn’t really seen it in quite the same way as Nina. Maybe it was a man thing.
The Garden on Sparrow Street: A heartwarming, uplifting Christmas romance Page 17