by Cole Bates
“I just can’t get this I feel like an idiot.”
“Don’t feel like that. Math isn’t easy for a lot of people.”
“It’s easy for you. You’re not only the “good” son, you’re the smart one too. Notice on Sunday Dad had me mowing the lawn while you helped him on the wires in the garage. Even Dad knows I’m simple.” I was slowly beginning to realize that Ryan was full of insecurities. On the outside, he was this hot, popular jock but on the inside, he felt inadequate around most people. That explained a lot about why he went along with everything those idiots he hung out with wanted to do…no questions asked.
“Listen to me, you’re not an idiot, not even close. Your dad had me help him because you and he argue all day long when you do things together. I just keep my mouth shut and get it done. It doesn’t have anything to do with me being better or smarter than you. Now, stop telling yourself you can’t do this and start telling yourself you can.” I handed him a paper Mr. Fritz had given me with word problems on them. While he was racking his brain on those, I had a sudden idea. I went over to my laptop and found what I was looking for and printed it off. I took the paper back over to him and said, “Try this.” He squinted at it and I waited for a few minutes until he finally looked up and grinned.
“Baseball math?”
I laughed. “Yep, I thought if we combined it with something you like then maybe it would be easier for you.”
He looked at the question on the paper it said, “Why is the best team in the league not guaranteed to leave them at the end of the season with the best record?”
“This is too easy,” he said. I laughed again.
“Well we’ll work our way up, but to be honest I can’t answer that question, can you?”
“Yeah, in the MLB the teams play 162 regular season games. There are 16 teams in the National League. If they were going to ensure the best team the best record, they would have to play a lot more games.”
“How many more?”
He picked up his pencil off the desk and did some calculations on the paper. A few seconds later he looked up at me and said, “They would have to play 256 games.”
“How did you figure that?” I asked him. “Give me the statistics.”
“In order for the best team in any league to be assured of having the best win-loss record, then the number of games they play should be right around the actual number of teams. See a schedule with 256 games would overcome the randomness that would let a lesser team to win. If they play fewer games it gives the underdog a better chance of winning.”
I grinned at him, “And that is statistics.”
He grinned too. “Well, I’ll be damned. High five little dude!” I gave him his high five and then made him move on to English Composition. There was something lighter about him after that and his mind seemed more open to learning. He wasn’t acing anything just yet but he was trying and that was a definite start. It was also good to see him happy…maybe too good.
Chapter Fourteen
Ryan
It was Friday and when I left for school that morning Alex was still rushing around the house looking for things. I’m not sure what he was looking for exactly or why he was so anxious. I realized as I drove away that if it had been me anxious and spun out over something, Alex would have been the first one to ask me what was wrong or if there was anything that he could do to help. I just left, self-absorbed as usual. We had our first league game coming up and I was stressing about whether or not my grades were up enough to be able to play or if coach was going to bench me. As soon as I got to school I went to see Mr. Fritz before I went to my first class. I knocked on the door as I pushed it open. The look on his face wasn’t quite as disgusted as it used to be, I guess that was a good sign, albeit a small one.
“Good morning sir, I was wondering if you had a minute.”
“Come in Mr. Reed. Have a seat.” I walked over and sat down next to his desk. “I suppose you’re here wondering how you did on your extra credit assignments?”
“Yes, sir.”
He sighed and that worried me. I watched as he pulled out a yellow file folder with my name on the front of it. “You know Mr. Reed when I first started grading these assignments I have to tell you I was worried.” I nodded, that wasn’t a surprise. But, then he went on and said, “I was worried that you had somehow convinced young Alex to do these assignments for you.”
“No sir…I…” He held up his hand to silence me. I shut my mouth but my thoughts were working overtime. I worked my ass off all week on those papers and when I took my final I actually felt really good about it.
“Let me finish,” he said, “I was worried about it but then you took your final exam right here in front of me with no one to help you and no way to cheat.” He reached into the file, pulled out my exam and sat it down in front of me. I smiled, probably too wide like an idiot. He’d written “Great Job” in red at the top of the page and 94% underneath that.
“94%...that’s an A.”
“Yes, it is.”
“I haven’t gotten an “A” on a test since I was in middle school.”
“Well, you have now. I’m proud of you, Mr. Reed. Keep this up and you’ll graduate from my class with a high “B.”
“Wow, thank you, Mr. Fritz!”
He actually smiled. It was the first real smile I’d ever seen on his face. “Don’t thank me, Mr. Reed, I was ready to give up on you. You know who you need to thank?”
I smiled again and nodded. “Yeah, I do know.” There was one person that didn’t give up on me and if it wasn’t for him I’d be on my way to community college and my parent’s basement. “Thank you again.” I left his class just as the bell rang for the first period. On my way to class, I suddenly felt someone grab my arm. I turned around and saw Lance.
“Hey man, first league game next week!”
I grinned. I was on my way to playing in it and it felt great. “Hell yeah,” I told him. “I can’t wait.” He started to follow me into our first class and stopped when he saw the poster for Alex’s play on the door. I stopped too and my eyes fell to the date. The play is tonight, that’s why he was so stressed. Damn, I’m a selfish son of a bitch. I started to move toward my seat and Lance said,
“We’re still messing with this shit, right?”
“Messing with it?” I kept walking and he followed me.
“You know like Scott said. We’ll do something to mess it up and make them look like bigger idiots than they are and then we’ll film it. If we do it right that shit will go viral.” I sat down at my desk and he sat his butt on top of the other one.
“I don’t know Lance. We have the game coming up. If we get caught coach is likely to bench us.”
“We just won’t get caught then.” He sat down and I started to say something else but Mrs. Voss walked in and started class. I didn’t want to start getting behind again so I pushed it out of my head for the time being. I didn’t really think about it again until lunch time. I was standing in front of my locker and the guys were gathered around bullshitting when Scott said,
“So tonight is the night.”
“What night is that?” I asked.
“Come on man you live with Pretty Penny, I know you didn’t forget about the play.”
“No…” Shit. “No, of course, I didn’t forget about it. I can’t go, though.”
“Excuse me?” Scott straightened up and looked at me suspiciously. He still had traces of yellow and purple around his mouth where the bruise was fading. I have to admit that every time I think about punching him in his mouth, it feels good. “You said that you hit me the other night because you were drunk and it wasn’t about defending your pretty little brother.”
“He’s not my brother and I told you that because it’s true. I don’t give a shit about him or his drama club. But this play idea is not smart man. I was telling Lance earlier if you guys get caught…”
“What do you mean, “You guys?” Where are you going to be?”
/> “My dad and Linda are coming down hard on me about my grades. Dad’s cool, you know but Linda talked him into grounding me. I won’t be allowed to leave the house to go anywhere except school until after final grades come out and the bitch sees that I’m doing better.” I hated calling Linda a bitch. She never does anything but defend me. Since Dad married her my life had actually gotten a whole hell of a lot easier. But I had to convince these guys. Why I didn’t know Scott was up to something when he suddenly said,
“So that step-mother of yours is a piece of work, huh?”
“I’m telling you guys she’s a fucking bitch!” That was when I saw him. Alex was standing off to the side shooting fire at me out of his beautiful caramel eyes. As soon as Scott saw me notice him he started laughing.
“I think you hurt Penny’s feelings. He doesn’t like you talking about his Mama that way…” I pushed past Scott and the other guys as Alex was walking away. “Where you going Reed, to save him again?”
“Well asshole he’s going to tell his mother what I just said and my life is going to suck even worse. I have to convince him not to say anything.” I was sick again. I probably had an ulcer eating through my stomach as we speak.
“Cool, we’ll go with you.”
“Leave it alone, Scott. I’ll be back.” Alex was already out the front door. I followed him out, calling after him but he didn’t stop. “Alex! Damn it, Alex stop!” He finally stopped in the parking lot. I waited until I was close and lowered my voice and said, “You don’t understand…”
“What don’t I understand Ryan? Please tell me how I don’t understand you calling my mother a fucking bitch after everything she’s done for you? She treats you like you’re her own son. She cooks for you and cleans for you and she sticks up for you!”
“I know Alex, believe me, I know all of that. I was just trying to convince the guys…”
“Oh right, because those douche bags thinking you’re cool is what your life is all about. Well, I hope you’re happy when you have nobody left in your life but them because that’s exactly what’s going to happen.”
“Alex please don’t tell Linda what I said.”
He snorted. “That’s what you’re worried about? You think I would do that to her? Do you know how badly that would hurt her? Don’t worry asshole, I’m not going to tell her. But I’m telling you this right now, you fucking better respect my mother and until we’re both out of that house you can stay the hell away from me and you can forget about any help from me with your work. You’re going to do all of that not because I’m going to tell my mother what you said, but because if you don’t, I’m going to tell Marty.”
I was shaking and I felt like I was going to throw up. Yes, if he told my Dad I’d get the shit kicked out of me. Nobody insults Linda to dad and gets away with it and I actually respect him for that. What made me sick was the thought of Alex never wanting me to talk to him again. I didn’t realize until that very moment as I watched him walk away just how fucking much that meant to me.
Chapter Fifteen
Alex
I walked home right then at lunch time. I didn’t think about the classes I’d be missing in the afternoon and I didn’t think about what my mother was going to say when I walked into the house at twelve-thirty in the afternoon. All I could think about was Ryan. For the past few weeks, I’d thought that I saw something different in him. I’d begun to think that I had misjudged him in some way. I actually saw his insecurities and I saw that most of the time when he was being an asshole it was an act. He thought that was the only way people would like him and people liking him was all that mattered to Ryan. Somewhere along the way in his life, maybe it was losing his mom and maybe it was Marty being so overbearing, but somewhere he’d gotten the idea that he had to pretend to be someone he wasn’t to get people to like him…or so I had begun to think. But today when I heard what he said about my mom…when I heard him call her a fucking bitch and I saw the look on his face I was closer to punching him in the face than I’ve ever been in my life. I was furious about him disrespecting Mom like that, but I was also angry that he’d led me to believe lately that he was anything other than a piece of shit like the rest of those dick heads and that pissed me off.
I walked into the kitchen and of course, Mom was there. She had her little television out and she was watching soap operas, drinking coffee and eating chocolate chip cookies. She’s so damned cute. I felt my eyes well up with tears as soon as I saw her. “Hey baby, what are you doing home? What’s wrong? Are you sick?” She’d stopped what she was doing and she was already on her way across the room to make sure I was okay. I felt another surge of anger at Ryan for what he said about her. She put her hand up on my face and I leaned my head in and put it on her shoulder. She pet my head and I started to cry. “Oh no…baby what is it?”
“Nothing Mom, I’m sorry. I love you.”
She pulled back and looked at my face. “I love you too. I love you so much. I also know you better than anyone else and I know when something is wrong. Those pretty eyes of yours can’t lie and you haven’t cried since you were eight and your bird died. So tell me, what is it?”
“Can I have one of those cookies?”
She had tears in her eyes too. She was going to cry for me even though she didn’t know what was wrong. She laughed through her tears and said, “Do you see why I have to eat cookies when all of you boys are out of the house?” Even as she said that she led me by the hand over to the table and said, “Sit.” I sat down and she put the plate of cookies in front of me. Then she went over and poured me a glass of milk and sat that in front of me and then she sat back down and said, “Now, talk to me.”
I took a bit of a cookie and washed it down with milk. She waited and finally I said, “Have you ever had an opinion about someone and then you got to know them and you started thinking that maybe you misjudged them, but you’re just not sure what to think?”
She smiled, a little confused and said, “Well yeah, I think we all misjudge people sometimes. You said you got to know this person and that’s why you think you might have misjudged them. We all have pre-conceived notions about people whether we want to have them or not. Now that you know the person, what do you think?”
“That’s why I’m confused. I know I’m not explaining this very well but there’s this guy…” her eyes lit up. She stopped asking me a while back why I didn’t have a boyfriend but I knew she was pulling for me to meet someone. Mom is a huge romantic at heart. “Not like that Mom.” She smiled and just nodded at me and I went on. “I’ve known him for a long time but I didn’t really “know” him and I didn’t really like him. So I got to know him because I kind of had to…we had a project to do together. And while we were working together I started seeing a different side of him. I started liking him. But then he did something that made me think maybe I had misjudged him again, and now I don’t like him…again.”
She covered my hand with hers and said, “Are you sure that maybe it’s not that you do like him, maybe a little too much? I mean sometimes when we have feelings for someone…”
I laughed. “No Mom, it’s not like that.”
“Okay. All I can tell you Alex is the same thing I’ve told you your whole life. You have to listen to your heart sometimes. Sometimes what our head tells us and our eyes see and our ears hear can all be interpreted in so many different ways. But what really matters is what you feel in here.” She put her hand on my chest. I covered her hand with mine.
“Thanks, Mom.”
She smiled. “You’re welcome. I’m not sure I helped at all. Hey! Are you excited about tonight?”
I grinned. “Yeah, I am. Actually, I should get back to school I have some last minute things I need to check on.”
“I’ll drive you.”
Mom dropped me off at the Presentation Center. Our talk didn’t really solve anything for me but it did prove once again what an amazing woman she is and how lucky we all are to have her. All of us and Ryan needs to r
ealize that as well. As soon as I walked into the PC I saw Mr. Lane. “Oh Alex things have been so busy lately that I haven’t gotten a chance to tell you yet but I’ve made sure all of the boys on that list you gave me won’t be admitted to the play tonight.”
“Good, thank you, Mr. Lane.”
“No Alex, thank you.” He shook his head. “I don’t understand what thrill someone could get out of trying to destroy something that people have worked so hard to put together. Their own lives must be very sad and lonely indeed.”
I nodded. “I agree, I almost feel sorry for them.”
“That’s because you’re a good boy, Alex. I have to run out for a bit. I’ll see you tonight.”
God help me I do feel sorry for him. Instead of being able to hang onto the anger I was feeling for Ryan earlier all I could feel now was a pity for him. I told him he was going to end up alone, but that’s not at all what I want for him. If he could just get it through his thick head that these assholes he spends his time with are toxic and they’re the wrong people he should be looking to for approval. What he needs to realize is that he has a family that loves him and he already has our approval and that should be enough.
Chapter Sixteen
Ryan
I was laying on my bed when I heard the pebble hit the window. I ignored it because I knew who it was without looking. The second pebble was bigger and hit harder. I ignored that one too, then my phone started to ring. I rolled my eyes when I saw Scott’s name on the face. I slid answer and put it to my ear. “What? You’re going to break the fucking window!”
“Then open it and come down.”
“For what, use the phone like a normal person.”
“Lance is parked down the street, we’re going to the play.”
“I can’t go. My dad and Linda will be there.”
“You can be our getaway driver then. You’re going.”