All Shook Up

by Ashley Bostock

  She was angry that Cole hadn’t considered her future. Their future. He hadn’t once considered what she wanted to do with her future after The Peekeasy. No, correct that. She was sure she told him that someday she wanted to open another boutique. Had he not taken her seriously? He was so arrogant to think she was going to stay at Lacie’s forever. Almost like he’d taken her for granted. And that was why she hadn’t wanted to tell Cole about her ownership in Party Panties. She wanted him to get a clue himself. To know what she needed, by understanding and knowing her.

  She’d thought she would have stayed longer than a few months, but this new opportunity happened when it did and that wasn’t her fault. She’d looked over all the documents Willow put together in the packet she’d left and it was a pretty sweet deal. Twenty-five percent ownership if she committed to two years. After two years, her ownership would increase three percent every year up to the cap of forty percent. Forty percent ownership of Party Panties in seven years?! That was a great deal.

  The downside was ending her relationship with Cole.

  What relationship they had left anyway. He hadn’t so much as called her either. That stung too. Hadn’t he felt what she’d felt? It was in his eyes, with every touch of his hands, every whisper in her ear. She could swear that when they made love that his heart was in the same place hers was. She would bet on it. Where was her heart exactly? It’d been in complete and utter bliss.

  Damn it, she’d fallen in love.

  No.

  No, no. It was too soon.

  Besides, love prevailed all and it wasn’t prevailing if she went to Party Panties and he continued refusing to sleep with the enemy. She had to follow her heart on this one, not just her heart but her dreams. Her reason for living and going to work every day. If anyone could understand that, it was Cole Carrington. He was living his dream and if she stayed at Lacie’s Lingerie, well, she’d be living someone else’s dream. Not her own.

  That stunk. That meant no Cole. She had to be true to herself though. If it was meant to be between them, she believed that love would prevail. No matter where she worked.

  She and Arabella were back at Jillian’s tiny two-bedroom townhouse sans the luxurious amenities a person could only find at a billionaire’s home. A freaking car lift. A housekeeper that cleaned and cooked and shopped for guests. An indoor gym that was so large it had a regulation-size basketball court. Ugh. That wasn’t even including the tiny things Jillian had come to enjoy. Hot water – like, all the time. A refrigerator with cool water and her favorite little cubes of ice that came out of the spout. A bathtub that was so grand it could double for a hot tub.

  Of course, the best thing that penthouse had to offer, that no amount of money could buy, was the man himself. His astounding hotness. His intelligence. Charm. Humor. The way he whispered into her ear when she was driving him wild. She could go on and on.

  The man she’d fallen hard for. Notice how I’m not thinking the word love. That evoked so many other issues that it was best to avoid that. Jillian wasn’t in a place to fall in love, especially not with the man she had absolutely no future with.

  Correction. She could, if she worked for him.

  Ugh.

  Why was life such a mess?

  As if on cue, her phone rang. Willow.

  “Hi, Willow,” Jillian answered.

  “Why hello. I got your message and I’m available. Dare I hope that you’ve decided to come on board?”

  Jillian swallowed, readying herself for what she wanted to say. Hating the fact that what she was going to say was warring with thoughts of Cole. “I’ve given it a lot of thought and I think it’s the best decision for me,” Jillian said.

  “Wonderful! I can’t wait to see you later.”

  After finalizing a time, Jillian clicked the button off, ignoring her tumultuous stomach and staring blindly at her phone. She owed it to Cole to let him know what was going on.

  Jillian: Hi, Cole. I hired a new assistant. I thought I should tell you…since I haven’t spoken to you, I don’t know if you knew that.

  Jillian held her breath and waited for the little dots to appear, any indication that he was responding. When her phone went dark, the constant ache she’d been experiencing all week decided to flip her over on her ass. He always answered right away. At least with her he did. Or had.

  Okay. This was business. Surely he had to respond. She hadn’t dealt with Raymond for what felt like forever and just because Cole had given her an ultimatum to choose between her dream and him, she wasn’t going to bypass him and call Raymond. Besides, Cole was professional, he’d call when he could. Or text. She’d take either.

  The truth was that she missed him. She wanted to talk to him, text him, see him. Even if it was strictly business, she wanted communication. She was dying for it.

  She wanted to let him know that Willow had offered her ownership in the company. That she wasn’t leaving Lacie’s because she thought Party Panties was where she belonged, but that she was leaving because it was helping her achieve her dream. It was business. You belong with Cole. That was what she wanted to believe and it could have been so true. But not now. This was going to be the final nail in their undefined relationship.

  If he ever texted her back.

  An hour later, when she still hadn’t heard from him and she’d been double-checking her phone about every three seconds, she found herself riding the elevator to Cole’s floor at the extremely fancy headquarters of Deluxe Posh.

  She was met by a middle-aged blonde woman who had an absolutely stunning pixie cut. Jillian mustered up a smile.

  “I’m here to see Cole Carrington.” Jillian said.

  “Do you have an appointment with Mr. Carrington?” the woman asked. Not friendly, but not rude either.

  “Um, no. I don’t,” Jillian said.

  The woman’s disapproving frown told Jillian that the woman wasn’t going to let Jillian in to see Cole.

  “If you could just tell him Jillian Winters is here, I’m sure it will be fine.”

  “People don’t get to come in and see Mr. Carrington without an appointment.” She stuck her nose in the air as she glanced at Jillian’s clothes. “Least of all, women.”

  Jillian looked down at what she was wearing. Black tights, black dress. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Jillian asked, confused.

  “Mr. Carrington has many admirers and you can imagine how many women show up unexpectedly wanting to meet him. How many reporters try to sneak in here. I can’t let you in without an appointment.”

  Oh, yes. That was probably a problem for the man. Jillian shook her head. “I’m not just any woman though. I’m his…” She faltered. “I’m his employee. I run Lacie’s Lingerie.”

  The woman raised an unbelieving eyebrow at Jillian and without seemingly having to do anything, she was talking into her headset.

  “Mr. Carrington, I have a Jillian Winters here to see you. She claims she is the manager at Lacie’s Lingerie, sir.” The woman kept her eyes on Jillian. “Very well, sir.”

  She hung up the phone and Jillian folded her arms across her chest, not liking the woman’s scrutiny, but also thinking, yeah I’m verified, now what? She raised her eyebrow.

  “I’ll take you back.” The woman stood abruptly and Jillian had to skip to keep up with her. She used a card that unlocked a set of doors and then, it was as if they had walked into the closet of Narnia.

  People were everywhere. Some were chatting with other people. Some were holding bundles of papers walking around. Jillian almost ran into a man wheeling a garment rack past her. There were a few people sitting at their desks, fabric spread out in front of them. It was controlled chaos and not what she was expecting to see. The lobby downstairs had been so quiet, eerie even, and this, this was a complete circus.

  “Whoa, excuse me.” A man rushed past her almost running into her as she barely managed to keep pace with the blondie.

  “Here you are.” The woman told Jillian, leaving her in fr
ont of a closed door.

  Jillian looked after the woman who was already too far away to be called back without risking everyone’s stare if Jillian yelled. Great. A shut door. Could she feel any more out of place?

  She took a deep breath and knocked.

  Nothing.

  She looked around the floor. No one was paying attention to her. They were all off in their own worlds doing…important looking stuff. Finally, a young girl walked right up to Jillian and Jillian opened her mouth to speak but instead of stopping the woman simply marched past Jillian and opened the closed door—no knocking—and went in.

  She was so caught up in the girl’s barging in that Jillian didn’t hear what the girl asked Cole. Cole. Their eyes met. He was so sexy sitting behind that large, black desk. What she knew were strong, muscular forearms, rested against the top. A large window banked the wall behind him. His eyes stayed on Jillian’s, not the girl who had barged in. Jillian could feel his green eyes burning into her. He was in his black fitted suit, wearing the red tie she loved and he looked so good. She was hit with a force field of attraction. Sadness. Love. She missed him and she knew that, but seeing him sitting there staring into her soul, wave after wave of all the good nights and wonderful days that were built between them crashed through her.

  The girl walked out of his office and started to close the door with Jillian outside when Cole’s deep voice called out. “Leave it open, Megan.”

  Thank God, for that.

  “Are you going to come in? Or did you come all this way just to ogle?” he asked.

  Jillian slowly walked inside his office, trying to ignore the shivers that raced along her spine.

  “Shut the door behind you. Please.”

  His voice sent shivers down her spine. She did as he asked. She approached his desk, ignoring the driving impulse to go to him and wrap her arms around his neck. He looked even better this close than he did at the doorway. His hair no longer had the last remnants of ‘Levi’ coloring, but his jaw was scruffy like he forgot to shave this morning. His eyes gleamed their standard mossy green that made her panties tickle against her. In short, he made her breathing stop and her heart ache.

  “What can I do for you, Jillian?” he asked, all business.

  “I sent you a text. I didn’t hear back from you.”

  “That you hired some help? I saw it. I’ve been busy today,” he said.

  “Oh. Well, okay.” She was at a loss for words. She wasn’t sure what to say, especially when all she wanted to do was run her hands over his face and touch that delicious scruff like she’d done before she told him about Party Panties.

  Like she had a right to him.

  Which he was making clear, she no longer had.

  “Are we finished?” he asked, getting to his feet.

  “No! We’re not finished.” She put her arm out and gripped his forearm. “I came to give my notice. I’m accepting the job offer at Party Panties.”

  His mossy green eyes betrayed him for the briefest second flashing hurt and she felt tears well in her eyes. She wanted both. She wanted her dream and Cole.

  “Why? Why them and not me?”

  She didn’t miss the emphasis he put on ‘me’ which told her that he cared. Why wasn’t he fighting for her then? The question burned and she wanted to ask it out loud but couldn’t. She wanted him to fight without her guidance. She wanted him to know that she was worth it. All on his own.

  “It’s–” She fumbled for words. “It’s business. I’m sorry. I didn’t mention this that last night at your house. But Party Panties is offering me ownership. After two years, I get twenty-five percent and every year thereafter three percent, up until I cap at forty percent ownership.”

  His eyebrows rose in surprise. “Really? Have you looked at their numbers? They’re good?” he asked, once again allowing the business side of himself to take over.

  “Solid. Doing well financially. This is my dream, Cole. It’s business. I’ve never stopped wanting to re-open The Peekeasy even though I worked for you.”

  “It’s not The Peekeasy. The Peekeasy was so much nicer than Party Panties.” He pointed out in a gruff tone.

  “I know. But she is still offering a part of my dream to me.” Did she say ‘she’ a little too loudly? She hadn’t meant to. Not intentionally anyway.

  “What’s this all about? Because I didn’t offer you ownership you’re going straight to my competitor?”

  “No, Cole. Quit being so arrogant.” Jillian rolled her eyes. “I didn’t expect ownership from you at all. I planned to work at Lacie’s and be loyal to you, but my dream all along, since the day I moved out of your boutique, was to own another lingerie store. This is business. I’ve never lied about that.”

  “No, you haven’t,” he said.

  “This may not be The Peekeasy. Not as fancy or having that boutique-feel and I may not have built it from the ground up, but it’s giving me an opportunity that I didn’t otherwise have. Or one that is getting me closer to my dreams a lot sooner.”

  “It sounds like it.”

  She swallowed, unsure of what to say because they both knew this was the end of whatever it was they had been cultivating. The end of the sleepless nights between them where their bodies and souls wound into one another so deeply it was hard to tear away from each other in the mornings – hard to figure out they weren’t welded together as one.

  “I’ll go, now,” Jillian said as tears welled back up in her eyes. Say something to get me to stay. Anything. Tell me you love me. “I just thought you deserved to know the whole story.”

  She turned to leave, ducking her head so he wouldn’t see her tears. He grabbed her on the shoulder and she could feel his body heat. Not touching except for his warm hand against her shoulder, but his large body was close enough. So close.

  “I hate that it has to be this way.” His voice was low and gravelly. “But there’s no way…” His voice trailed off and she nodded. She knew. No way he could be with a competitor. No way he could risk his business reputation if he was dating his competition.

  His mouth grazed her temple, a sweet and gentle kiss. A goodbye kiss.

  It broke her.

  The tears fell down her cheeks and because her throat was clogged with emotions, she couldn’t speak. She headed for the door, letting it slip closed behind her. Outside of his office, life was going on. Worker bees were moving with fast-paced efficiency and like before, no one gave Jillian a second glance.

  She all but ran to her car.

  Stupidly still wishing Cole would come after her.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Fuck.

  What stopped him from going after her yesterday? He’d wanted to. Pride, maybe. Logic? There was no real way a relationship could work between them once she signed the papers for Party Panties. In a business sense, it would make him look weak – not a competitor in the long line of businessmen and women fighting for the top spot of success in women’s fashions. In this case, lingerie. Still, same rules applied.

  Zander had told him to offer her something to get her to stay, but what the hell was that? Love. Her dream. How did he offer her the dream of owning The Peekeasy from a place he owned? He wasn’t impressed that Willow Jackson had offered almost half of her business to Jillian to sweeten the deal. But, he had to admit, it was working for her. If only he would have thought of that, maybe Jillian would have stuck around.

  Although the stubborn part of him called bullshit on that. If Jillian had deeper feelings for him, she would have stuck around. She wouldn’t be sticking it to him by going to Party Panties. They were obviously not on the same page as far as feelings went.

  Jeez, and to think the word ‘love’ had been tossed around in his head on more than one occasion when he was with Jillian. When she walked out of his office, not giving him a backward glance, it’d felt like someone had tied a string around his heart and was ripping it from his chest, one small, torturous tug at a time.

  It wasn’t even a feasible o
ption to offer her ownership in Lacie’s Lingerie. First of all, it wasn’t solid presumably the way Party Panties was. Its numbers had only, up until two months ago, been in the red. Jillian had been the one to bring it back to solid ground. There is no way any person in their right mind would take co-ownership of something that was that unreliable. If they did, they’d need their head checked.

  Not only that, but he’d made a commitment that for every ten dollars spent at Lacie’s, three would be donated to The Francesca Project. When he’d put the papers together for this project, he’d committed Lacie’s to donate the money the second it turned around. If it never did, no harm no foul. If it did, then The Francesca Project was the recipient of easy money. Add in a business partner at fifty percent and it wasn’t smart financial sense. He was the foundation of smart financial sense.

  Justin had done something similar with his hotels. For every bath product the hotel sold from their websites and gift shops inside his hotels, he too, donated a percentage of that. With one little token at a time, they were going to be a part of the change. Nothing obvious, nothing super extravagant.

  Dylan was using his power as a fitness guru by planning to physically show the potential residents of the complex how to become stronger and how to defend themselves. Each guy brought something individually to the table, aside from pure cash to build the project, in the hopes that others would do similar deeds too. Raising awareness of the project as well as securing donations and other means to keep the project going. They planned on trending on Twitter. One day at a time.

  Michael and Sophia were lined up to donate a portion of their proceeds from every membership sign-up on Together and at some point, would be offering mobile makeovers to women once a month with the idea that women could look and feel their best with a little help of makeup and hair styling. Sophia had plans to offer art classes as well, but nothing was set in stone for that yet.

  Zander jokingly wanted to teach all the women how to box and play poker but they all agreed the state and other women’s advocates may not think that was the wisest option. So while he’d settled for the no poker rule, he still planned to have a boxing ring at the complex. His big idea was schooling. He was going to contribute financial aid for women that wanted to go to school. Not funding the entire bill, necessarily, but helping them get their foot in the door.