by Mia Wolf
“Which one of these groups do you belong to?” I ask him with a smirk on my face.
“Which one do you think?” I feel better as he smiles at me.
“I think you’ll fit right in with the ladies that are dancing over there,” I point to the women as if Joshua doesn't exactly know what I’m talking about.
“The ceremony on winter solstice includes lighting the bonfire, but that needs to be done well before any of the guests arrive. I did that on my way home.”
“So, I missed it,” I say, feeling slightly dejected for no reason.
“So, it seems,” Joshua kisses my forehead.
I remove my coat and place it on one of the logs. After standing next to the fire for five minutes, I feel like I’ll start sweating any moment now.
“Please tell me Rose is coming,” I say to Joshua becoming increasingly concerned now.
“She didn’t say otherwise.”
I notice Joshua craning his neck towards the people drinking alcohol. I don’t need to guess who he might be staring at. I hold Joshua’s hands, and he turns to me with frown lines still visible on his forehead.
“Is something the matter?” I ask Joshua. He looks paranoid still looking in the general direction where Raymond and Julia are standing.
“Nothing, it’s just—” Joshua stops, but I make him look me in the eye.
“You can tell me.” I take his hand and sandwich it in both of mine.
“At the clan meeting today, Raymond showed up and asked me if I’ll be at the winter solstice festival. Eli stepped between us and told him that of course as the alpha I would be.” Joshua paused and gulped. “He smiled like he does when he is about to cause trouble. If he comes close to you, I will rip him to pieces.” The veins at Joshua’s temple flare.
I want to tell Joshua that everything will be fine, but I don’t really know that. I feel a little less excited after Joshua tells me that story.
Rose finally showed up in a bright orange Shoma and her gorgeous hair in a messy bun.
“We look like sisters,” I screech before she reaches me.
“What took you so long?” Joshua asks Rose. She shrugs.
“Let’s go and meet Rigsby,” Joshua says after a while. I don’t know who that is, but gauging from the delight in Joshua’s voice, I can tell it’s someone important.
We walk up to a couple dressed in similar red Shomas, drinking champagne by themselves. They’re tall, both of them.
“Joshua,” the man screams and throws his arms around Joshua the moment he sees him.
“Rose,” says the woman and embraces Rose.
“This is Jessica,” Rose tells her, “Joshua’s girlfriend.”
Both Joshua and I freeze. The couple stares at us wide-eyed and jaw-dropped while Rose looks pretty unmoved. I clumsily run my tongue over my lips, not understanding how to respond. It’s the first time the term had come to my mind. We didn’t need a label to define us and everything, but am I? Am I Joshua’s girlfriend?
“Yeah. Rigsby, Tatiana, meet Jessica. My girlfriend.” Joshua clears all doubts in my head in one fell swoop. I inwardly scream from happiness. I am Joshua’s girlfriend!
“Congratulations,” Rigsby says to Joshua and hugs him again while Tatiana hugs me in a greeting. She looks genuinely pleased to meet me.
Rigsby hugs me next.
“You have done the impossible it seems,” he says to me jokingly. I don’t know how to respond, so I just smile. Joshua gets three glasses of champagne for Rose, me, and himself. We make a toast among ourselves.
A kid runs up to Tatiana and clings to her legs. She lifts the girl up and into her arms then introduces her to me.
“This is Rin. Our daughter,” Tatiana says.
I play with her, making gestures to make her laugh until she jumps out of her mother’s grip and joins the other kids once again.
“She’s adorable,” I say, giggling.
We spend almost the entire evening in the same group, and I have no reasons to complain. Both Rigsby and Tatiana are polite and so awfully warm. Rose excuses herself for a while and goes to mingle with other women around the festival. I feel tempted to join her, but I also feel like I have done enough socializing for a month already.
Just when I’m thinking I have successfully avoided meeting everyone else, Joshua pulls me away and asks Rigsby and Tatiana to excuse us.
“We should meet some more people,” he says. “They’ll be curious to know more about the woman their alpha has brought to the winter solstice festival. Before they can start any rumors, I hope to address the matter,” Joshua pauses. “Besides, I feel like celebrating being in a relationship.”
I’m in a relationship with Joshua. I’m his girlfriend, I’m inwardly cartwheeling and somersaulting so hard, I worry I might fall for real.
We go around the festival and greet people after people. After a while, I’m kind of tired, but I understand that it’s important for Joshua, so I let it slide. We are about to reach the seniors when Joshua stops mid-step, noticing Raymond coming toward him. He instinctively stands in front of me before Raymond has even approached.
“It’s rude you know. You should stop doing that,” Raymond says with a voice so sincere that for a moment I forget how horrible he really is. “I’m not touching your pretty little princess.”
I notice both Julia and Rose walking towards us when they see Joshua and Raymond talking to each other.
“So when are you marrying her?” Raymond asks. If it were anyone else, I would’ve felt a bit terrified at the prospect of a marriage, but I know Raymond is only saying these things to get under Joshua’s skin. “Does she even know you’re supposed to take a mate to be fit to lead the clan?” Raymond’s mouth curls into a filthy grin.
“How about you shut up before I break your teeth?”
I have no idea what Raymond is talking about. I repeat to myself, “don’t listen to him,” but I feel disoriented from the heat of the fire, the crowd, the incessant chatting, and Raymond. His bear form flashes in front of my eyes, and my knees buckle. I catch a hold of Joshua’s arm, but he doesn’t realize that I’m about to lose my balance.
“There is no need for that,” Raymond’s words ring once, twice. His tall figure doubles and triples.
“Why do you bother talking to me?” Joshua says. I slowly inch closer to him, leaning onto him a little. I notice both Julia and Rose hovering over Raymond and Joshua, they both look displeased. I want to tell both of them to stop. They’re scaring people, but I have no control over my body. I lean against Joshua a bit more, but he still doesn’t notice me losing my grip.
“I need to tell you something, alpha,” Raymond almost spits the word “alpha.” He inches far too close to Joshua’s face, unfazed by me at his side. I’m clinging to Joshua like a fly.
“I challenge you to a duel,” Raymond says. I hear the words but much like everything else they make no sense to me. ”Prepare yourself.” Raymond cocks his head, his nostrils flaring, his eyes twice their regular size. He looks like a monster, and for some bizarre reason, I feel terrified for Joshua’s life.
“Joshua,” I mumble the name so quietly that Joshua doesn't hear. He doesn’t hear me until I collapse on his shoulder. I feel his strong hands catching me before I hit the ground. For a while, I hear Joshua’s distant voice calling my name. It makes me feel safe, it makes me feel like I can sleep because I feel sleepy. I feel so excruciatingly tired that I want to sleep for an eternity. Wake me up when September ends plays in my head. Or is the song playing at the festival? I can’t tell. I can also hear Rose, Tatiana, Rigsby, and Eli. Then I hear Kristen, Karen, and Derek and then my mom.
Find love and live happily, she is cooing in her baby daughter’s ear. I’m five years old again. She kisses my forehead and apologizes. I tell her there is nothing she needs to apologize for, but before I can, she disappears.
Find love and live happily, the words float around in my head. I am me again, and I hear Joshua. I hear his voice, and he
sounds close enough that I can touch him, but before I can reach out for him, unmistakable darkness takes me over instead.
Chapter 24 – Joshua
It took all of my strength to not break every last one of Raymond’s tooth as I looked down upon Jessica’s frail body in my arms. She passed out at the festival. Even though there is no direct relationship between her fainting and Raymond spewing garbage, I figured beating some sense into him will do him some good either way. I put a handle on my rage for Jessica’s sake. Besides, now that the idiot has challenged me to a duel, I’ll get to beat him to a pulp after all.
Since his little scheme to chase Jessica away failed, he’s decided to go all in. I am not going to run away from the challenge.
I sit on the couch while Rose and Tatiana watch over Jessica. I insisted that I should be the one by her side, but according to Rose, I needed to gather my wits. So, I sit quietly on the couch as the seconds tick by ever so slowly. To my surprise, I’m a sea of calm. Nothing will happen to Jessica, I chant.
“She’s up,” Rose screams from the inside, and I jump out of my seat and dart into the bedroom.
Jessica’s eyes are barely ajar.
“I think we should let her rest now,” Rose places a hand on my shoulder. “Let her sleep,” she commands and leaves. Tatiana follows after her. It’s just the two of us again.
I slip under the covers and lie beside Jessica.
“Are you okay?” I ask her when her eyes are finally open. She nods her head a tiny bit as if she can barely move.
I help Jessica change since she is still in her Shoma, then tuck her in bed. She doesn’t speak at all and can barely keep her eyes open. She falls asleep pretty quickly after I lay her down, she must’ve been exhausted.
I, on the other hand, decide to go for a 4 am run. Might as well start practicing already.
Jessica wakes me up the next morning with her tender kisses, no less.
“Am I in heaven?” I ask. I realize my head is cradled in Jessica’s lap. Her soft hair is pooling down around her as she observes me. She doesn’t answer me, and there is a strange sense of worry in her look.
“How are you feeling now?” My early morning voice is groggy, so I clear my throat.
“I don’t exactly remember what happened,” Jessica says, and she sounds sad.
“You passed out.”
“I remember that part.” She pauses. “What’s with the duel? That’s not for real, right? I mean, what is this? Game of thrones? There is no duel, right?”
I sigh. What can I tell her? My life is a bit complicated like that.
“Do you not trust your boyfriend?” I ask with a smirk. Jessica punches my shoulder which only makes me laugh more. “What? You think I’m a chicken?”
“It’s not funny,” she replies, and it seems like she’ll cry if I don’t stop.
“I’m sorry, baby,” I say. She understands that it’s not for the jest.
“I don’t want your sorry. You’re not fighting Raymond,” she says in defiance.
“I have to. I don’t have a choice.”
“I don’t allow you to. How’s that for a choice?” She pouts her lips. She looks like a stray cat with her bun from last night unspooling and unfurling everywhere.
I sit up straight and take her face in my hands.
“As the alpha of the clan, I have no choice but to accept Raymond’s challenge. It’s a part of my life, Jessica. As much as I might hate it, this is how it is,” I say. I don’t want to sugarcoat it, and I don’t want to placate her with lies. “Besides, show some faith in your boyfriend. I’m pretty strong, you know.”
“It’s not about strength, Joshua.” Jessica doesn’t speak any further. She buries a thought, but I don’t insist her to share. There isn’t much she can say to change my mind, and I don’t want to have to disrespect her wishes.
I get relieved from alpha duties in the week leading up to the battle. Technically, I’m not even the alpha at the moment since my position is contested. The committee of seniors now rules the clan until the winner of the duel consents to take the position. The change is temporary, but I feel like a burden is lifted off my shoulders. Even if it’s only for a week.
I train in the gym that is right outside the village. It’s owned entirely by the bear clan so I get access to it all the time. Jessica shows up with food during lunch, and we get to eat together which is the only time we spend in each other’s company. I actually sleep at the gym, too. I wake up early morning to head for a run, and the entire routine is a lot easier if I just stay at the gym. The village is small enough that it’s hard not to run into Raymond all the time.
Jessica does not look at ease when she visits me, and nothing I say puts her worries to rest.
“If you’re stronger than Raymond then is he stupid to challenge you?” She brings up that argument at least once a day. It doesn’t faze me, but a little encouragement from my girlfriend will surely make my days a lot better. We’re not fighting. We just have a conflict of interest. Jessica doesn’t want me to fight at all. Sadly, that’s not an option.
Eli comes to talk to me one day as well. We reminisce the days when he used to train me when I was a teenager. He was in top shape back then, better than my father, too, even though my father was the alpha of the clan at the time. Eli tells me that I have his blessings now that he is in no shape to train me.
“My blessing and my wisdom,” he jokes. “None of it is going to help you in the duel, though. You know I have faith in you,” he adds.
Surprisingly, words seem to have no effect on me. Good or bad. Other than Jessica being constantly afraid that her boyfriend is going to get trampled into the dirt. Other than that, no words impact me as I train to defeat Raymond.
A part of me wants to prove myself to Jessica, too.
“Your boyfriend is just that strong,” I want to tell her when I win the duel.
Over the week of practice, I see my muscles go from being toned to a solid mass. Like they used to be before I got married, before I became the alpha. If anything, becoming the alpha has made me lazier. It’s mostly boring, administrative work. Boring, administrative work that’s important, but boring nonetheless.
I am impressed with my progress, and I like the shape I’m in. Whether it’s enough for the duel, I’m not sure, and there is only one way to find out.
There are times when I tell myself that it’s alright if I lose. I’ll still have Jessica, and that’s all that really matters. It’s not like I care about the clan leadership much. But no, letting the alpha position fall into Raymond’s hands would be a slap in the face to all the hard work my father and grandfather had put in before they died. I cannot see their efforts turn to dust. Besides, the day Raymond becomes the alpha, the bear clan would look a lot different from what it does right now. He must simply not win. This isn’t just a fight between the two of us because the entire clan’s fate hinges on it. The stakes only pump me up more.
The closer we get to the day of the fight, the more I notice Jessica wilt. We have already become distant over the past week. I can’t wait for it to end so I can see her smile again.
My competitive spirit is a part of myself that she has not seen before. I am proud of it. I hope Jessica feels the same way after the duel. After I win it for good. This entire experience just makes me realize there is a lot we don’t know about each other. I don’t even find the time to sit with Jessica and talk to her. I’ll need to make it up to her when this is over.
The venue for the duel is an arena in the woods. It’s constructed especially for the fight. The entire clan is gathered to witness the event. I am in the gym which is a five minute walk away from the venue. Jessica shows up before I take my leave as she told me she would the night before. I am shirtless, wearing only a pair of sporty shorts that restrict none of my movements. Plus, it makes shifting easier. I’m hoping it doesn’t come to that, but I am also convinced that it will. There is no way that Raymond will not take a fight with me in his bear form i
f he thinks it’s going to help him win.
Jessica is wearing a pink, full-sleeve top that fits around her curves. I take hold of her waist as she comes up to me to give me a kiss. I feel instantly attracted to her. A good distraction before the fight starts, I tell myself even though it’s clearly a bad idea, but I can’t really stop myself when it comes to her. I deepen the kiss when Jessica wraps her arms around me even though I am a little sweaty. She pulls away and buries her head in my neck. All of my perverted thoughts die down, and I hold her close. The beating of her heart soothes all of my nerves.
“You know, I trust you,” she whispers in my ears. “I have no doubt you will win this, baby,” her voice trembles then she sobs a little. “But you’re not getting out of this without getting hurt.” Her trailing words are a whimper so close to my ears. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“No pain no gain, right?” I wipe her tears away and kiss her. “Besides, don’t I look hotter? It’s worth it for just that, eh?”
That makes her laugh, and she vigorously shakes her head in agreement.
“Very hot,” she says in a low voice, clearing her throat.
“Wager on me,” I whisper in her ear and kiss her on the forehead.
We walk to the venue together, hand in hand, and it reminds me what all of this is really for.
The arena is a hilltop clear of trees. Everyone from the clan is gathered around to watch the duel.
Raymond and I step onto the empty ground where we’re supposed to spar. There is a grave look to him, something serious and insidious. I try not to get fazed by the bloodlust wafting off of him.
The duel commences, and Raymond pounces for me instantly. I dodge his first, second, third strike. He is moving about too much. How is he going to last like this? I have never fought against Raymond before, I don’t know how much stamina he has. But it doesn’t matter. I know I’m not going to be hasty. I can outlast him if I conserve my energy, especially if he continues to be this wasteful.