by Mia Wolf
He sounds like he’s a hundred years old, and I roll my eyes.
“So you’ll kick me out if I refuse?” Sebastian asks.
Joshua nods in agreement, his lips pressed in discomfort.
Sebastian looks seriously hurt while he makes up his mind; his shoulders sag and his face withers. Seriously, how bad can it really be?
“Fine,” he says finally.
“Alright, then,” Joshua says. “The two of you are expected at the school tomorrow so that the instructors can whip you up a schedule for teaching Martial Arts,” Joshua looks at me, “and painting,” he turns to Sebastian and then promptly walks away.
The two of us are standing alone in the night, and our eyes briefly meet. For some reason, being in Sebastian’s presence reminds me of the horrible thoughts that plague me, thoughts that I wish he could provide me comfort from, but it’s a futile request.
The look in Sebastian’s eyes is of defeat, and I’m sure he sees the fear in mine. For a second, we both understand that we’re yearning for each other, for that comfort and warmth but we both pull away at the same time and go back to our houses, crestfallen.
Chapter 17 - Sebastian
On my way to the school at seven in the morning, I stop in front of the bar, which is closed. Way to assume that no one needs a drink this early in the morning. It makes me think of how long it’s been since I’ve had one sip. I haven’t drunk at all since that first night I stepped into this village, which is odd. The village is turning me sober.
Sure, there’s still that need in me to drink myself to numbness, but instead, I’ve been painting. Not having a drinking partner has something to do with my reduced consumption, but it’s not the biggest reason. I’m quite afraid to admit what the biggest reason is because if I do, then I’ll have to do something about it. I just can’t bring myself to have a drink when I think about Maya. It’s as if I need to stay alert, stay sharp in case someone from Code Blue comes to get her. I’ll need to be ready. Even though I’m still not sure if it’s her that they’re looking for (well, who am I kidding?), I still feel protective of her. I’d be the first to admit that that’s a little crazy because she’s very well-equipped to take care of herself.
But Maya is not the only reason, I think to myself as I saunter past the bar that says “closed” on the window. I just don’t want to be that numb anymore, no matter how strong the urge. Ever since Warren pulled himself out of the pits of dread, I’ve felt like I don’t want to be left behind there all alone. It makes me think that there might just be hope for me. Maya makes me feel like there might be hope for me.
The frustration rises up my throat because I can’t seem to go near her, and at the same time, I can’t help but want her. My bear wants to growl, but I’m almost at the school now, and I don’t want to have the reputation of being dangerous among the kids too. Hopefully, they haven’t judged me to be a monster yet.
When I arrive at the school, one of the teachers points me where to go. We’re out in the open ground, looking out at the school building in the back. It’s incredibly tiny to be called a school. It’s a single building that’s three floors high; I’ve seen houses that are bigger than it, and to think that kids from other bear villages are actually traveling to go to school here blows my mind. I suddenly feel grateful for the kind of school that I went to where I could choose between swimming, playing tennis, and playing chess. I absolutely hated school back then, but now that I’m out of it, I have to admit that it wasn’t half bad.
I see Maya and a big man flanked by kids on either side. The kids are being divided into two groups while I walk towards them. The kids on Maya’s side are tall and mostly boys. On the other side are mostly girls. It occurs to me what’s happening; Maya will be teaching her side of the group martial arts.
“There he is,” says the big, bulky man, his voice even heavier than he is. He points at me, and the group of mostly girls makes their way towards me. The man speaks to the other group while I wait along with the kids for him to come and give us instructions.
“Okay,” the man says after he’s joined us and starts handing out art supplies. “Your teacher will give you instructions for the class today, and you can just follow him and ask any questions that you’d like. The class ends in two hours,” the man finishes speaking and retreats to the martial arts group. I watch him go, and I can’t, for the life of me, understand how I got into this situation. I have no idea how I’m going to handle Code Blue and protect Maya at the same time. My hopes that Maya isn’t the girl they’re looking for are slowly dying. And now I find myself in the middle of a group of kids who are looking up at me expectantly while I have no idea what to say to them.
I watch Maya start with a high kick in the air, and it slowly dawns on me that I’m knee-deep in shit.
“Grab your brushes, kids,” I say, and I make them sit on the ground while I sit on a platform around a tree on one side of the field.
“How old are you?” asks a kid who seems to be five himself.
“Why does that matter?” I ask him as I put the canvas in my lap and draw the brush. “Settle down, and we’ll start with the basics, something simple—”
I give the kids instructions, and they begin painting while I draw something on my own. Every now and then, I catch glimpses of Maya, teaching the kids how to hold their forms. She’s wearing brown trousers today that hide her slender legs and a skin-tight black vest. Her hair is braided and then coiled at the back of her head, so not a single hair on her head is out of place. She looks like a fighter, but a breathtakingly beautiful one, and I can’t help but stare at her when she moves. Her motions are smooth and quiet; she’s stealthy and agile but somehow still packs a punch.
We’re about halfway through the class when I notice Maya going up against the big man. My breath hitches when I see the six-foot-something guy dwarfing Maya by a foot. He’s a giant in front of her petite body, and I can’t make sense of why they should be going against each other, but both of them have a stern look on their faces as if it’s the defining death match of their lives.
It’s as if all the other noise quiets down, and it’s just the two of them in the arena; the other kids fall back to the side and watch Maya fight the big dude.
They pounce at each other, both quick on their feet. The man dodges a punch from Maya and manages to kick her knee, which makes her stumble backwards. She looks angry and shocked at the same time at the attack and falls back, gauging her opponent for a few moments. But the man doesn’t give her any time; he jumps toward her, taking one step in her direction, trying to kick her foot, but he misses. Then he tries to kick her other foot and misses again because Maya pulls back in time then whirls around him before he gets the time to gather his wits and kicks at his back with both her feet. He goes stumbling forward.
The man doesn’t fall and recovers quickly, but he’s angry and charges Maya, going for straight punches that she blocks, one to the left, one to the right then one to the gut. None of them land. There’s momentary satisfaction on Maya’s face, which disappears when the man lands a sneak attack on her left side. She goes careening backwards and screams out in pain. I almost jump into the fight, but she gets back in and delivers a barrage of attacks that the man blocks. But he doesn’t notice her leg that she snakes around one of his and pulls it hard, so he finally crashes to the ground. He groans in pain, and Maya falls back, holding her left side where the man had hit. It gives the man time to get back up.
Both of them go at each other. The man circles and kicks at Maya, but she jumps and gets out of the way of the attack. It leaves the man open to a hit from behind, and Maya delivers a high kick right to the man’s shoulder. He eats dust, landing with a thud and wincing in pain.
That’s my girl.
Applause breaks out among the audience; even the kids that were painting had been watching the fight. I wonder how many of them will be around for the next class. Maya looks tiny. If she can go against the giant man, then what’s stopping the
rest of these kids from learning to defend themselves?
I internally rejoice at Maya’s victory but tell the kids to focus on their work while I go back to painting too. Maya and I lock gazes for a brief moment as she looks in my direction, still huffing and puffing from the fight. I mouth a quiet, “well done” at her, and she winks at me with pride.
“Someone’s calling you,” says the kid who asked me my age earlier, and he’s pointing behind me. I look back to find Harris hiding behind a tree like a fugitive. I sigh at the idiot’s audacity and leave the kids to continue painting while I join the pestering fool.
“I was going to wait until you were done,” the man says, but I cut him off.
“Save your breath,” I tell him as he shrivels like a scared cat. “I don’t think you’re here to tell me anything new, and you already know my answer. So I’m curious to know, what’s the bright idea behind this sneak attack?”
Harris is an old friend, from back in the village. He was always the smart one, almost a genius. He was one of the first among us kids to leave the village to go out and study at the university because he got to skip grades, he was that smart. He’s been an art critic in the mainstream media and a curator of art for years now, but his genius sadly ends at art and doesn’t transcend into any other area, other than I suppose networking because the man has managed to make a pretty steady living for himself. But every time he pulls a stunt like this one, it really makes me question the breadth of his genius.
“Well, obviously I’m here because I’m hoping something or someone,” he pauses and cranes his neck to stare in the general direction of the playground (it takes me a second to realize he’s looking at Maya), “might have changed your mind about giving art a shot.”
“Cut it out, Harris,” I say, stepping in between him and the playground in the back. “Nothing of the sort has happened, and I don’t think it ever will.” I deliver the blow softly because I know he’s only asking as a friend, but it annoys me to have to do this over and over again.
Harris looks just as young as he did the day he left the village; he hasn’t grown to be much taller. While we were almost the same height back when we were in school, I’m a good eight inches taller than him now. There’s also the same innocence on his face that I know mine once showed, too. He has managed to keep his even though life didn’t start out easy for him. It’s what you make of it, eh?
“How did you know I’m here, anyway?” I ask.
“I just visited Warren, he told me. I thought I might as well come over and see you,” Harris says.
I scowl. Does Warren really have to talk about me to everyone? To be honest, I didn’t really know that he and Harris had kept in contact, and I feel a pang of annoyance. I was the one who introduced them once, when Warren and I were still friends. Or, should I say, drinking buddies, not friends?
“How have you been?” I ask Harris, replacing the frustration with genuine care and concern, which I most sincerely harbor for him. He is and has always been a great friend. It’s a shame he only drinks red wine at art events because he would’ve made a great drinking partner.
“I’m fine,” Harris says. “So tell me about the chick. What’s her name? Is she your girlfriend?”
I sigh. Why can’t he let it go? “Her name’s Maya,” I say. “And no, she’s not my girlfriend.”
But I want her to be.
Chapter 18 - Maya
I get butterflies in my stomach when Sebastian mouths, “well done” to me; it almost makes the victory mean something. I had no plans of showing off my skills this publicly, but the gym instructor insisted on the fight. He was quite the opponent; I had to use some special skills in my arsenal.
The class went well, and when it ends, I search for Sebastian, foolishly hoping to walk back home together. So much for maintaining distance. I scan the area to see if he’s still around; he can’t have left yet, the class just ended. Then I spot him amidst the trees beyond the school ground where he’s talking to a man who’s dressed in black. It reminds of the day I had broken into his house to find Sebastian speaking to a large man dressed in all black. I sneak a closer look at the man, drawing nearer until I’m hiding behind a tree only a little away. I try to hear what they’re talking about until it occurs to me that its really none of my business. Why am I eavesdropping on the two men?
The brief thought that I’m slowly becoming paranoid hits me. All the times that I’ve been followed, and all the times that I thought I was, are slowly getting to me. Now the mere idea of two men talking among the trees gets me in a state of alarm.
I’m still hidden behind the tree, trying to stay as steady as possible and making sure the kids don’t see me at the same time, but they’re almost back in the school building now. Why am I getting involved in Sebastian’s business again? Two possibilities present themselves, and I dislike both of them. Either, I don’t trust Sebastian and think that he’s from my village and here to take me back, or I’m drawn to him and want to keep him safe from whatever threat these men might pose.
The whole situation turns upside down when I hear Sebastian say my name. So this is about me. My body is short-circuiting. I’m not paranoid; they’re really out to get me. The man is here for me, even when I don’t know him, which in my mind can only mean one thing. I feel no hurt; perhaps I always expected this to happen, perhaps I never trusted Sebastian.
I draw closer, and with two quick steps my dagger finds its spot at the man’s throat. My other hand wraps around his throat so he can’t move.
“What the hell are you doing?” Sebastian yells at me. I want to tell him to lower his voice, I don’t want the kids to notice and come back to us. “Leave him alone!”
Sebastian jumps in and tries to free the man from my grip, which angers me because he’s not taking my side. But then, what could I have expected of him?
“I heard my name,” I say begrudgingly, warding Sebastian off as the man starts choking a little. He slips out of my grip and falls to the ground. I don’t understand what’s happening; my grip on him was hardly lethal. I turn to Sebastian for help, but he’s on his knees next to the man now, shoveling into his pockets to search for something.
My body freezes, knowing that whatever it is that’s going on, I have caused it. I step backward until I feel the trunk of a tree against my back. Once I’m flat against its surface, I sink to the ground while Sebastian helps the man to breathe, rubbing his back with one hand and still searching for something in his pockets with the other. He finally finds what he’s looking for; it’s an inhaler. Sebastian hands it to the man, and he takes a puff. Within a few seconds, his breathing returns to normal. A few more seconds, and they’re both staring at me.
I cannot move; my hands and legs have turned into cement blocks. There’s a painful and uneven thumping in my chest, but I can’t scream out even though it hurts.
“I didn’t mean to,” I barely manage to whisper. There’s hardly any breath left in me.
“You’ve got to stop sneaking up on me, Maya,” Sebastian says, and he looks angry and upset with me.
He continues to speak, but I don’t understand his words or any words as I lose a sense of self, numbness spreading throughout my body. Something changes in Sebastian’s expression, and he suddenly looks concerned. Breathe in and breathe out, I tell myself as the noise quiets around me. It’s like I’m asleep with my eyes open.
“Maya,” I hear Sebastian say, and he crouches in front of me like he’s afraid for me.
‘Don’t worry about me,’ I want to say to him, but I don’t have the strength. I feel a strange sense of calm and quiet. There are no intrusive thoughts, only lightness. Breathing in and breathing out, I feel the rise and fall of my chest, bringing me peace. The calm is heightened when Sebastian sits next to me, his hand resting on my cheek, warm to the touch on my ice-cold skin. I smile at him because he looks worried. I would tell him not to worry if I could speak, but I can only smile until even that becomes too hard. In a fleeting, blurry g
lance, I notice that the other man is okay now. He’s fine. That’s good, I don’t want to hurt anyone.
“Maya.” Sebastian’s voice fills my ears. I love it when he says my name, I’ll be sure to tell him that when I’m not feeling this heaviness.
He looks so perturbed. I imagine raising my hand and placing it on his cheek, telling him not to worry so much. Worried or not, he still looks handsome. Even in my state, I can appreciate his hooded eyes, his sharp jaw, and that strong nose. He’s adorable. I laugh inwardly, but even the sense of being awake is slowly slipping from me now. I don’t know where it leads, but it’s so calming that I want to find out.
I know what’s coming, I’m going to pass out. This happens to me from time to time. It used to happen back at the training facility too. The doctors had explained to me that my body finds it hard to keep up, and I end up fainting whenever I push myself too hard, often unnecessarily. Like right now. I didn’t need to break into Sebastian’s space, I didn’t need to freak out. But here I am on the verge of that same darkness that’s all too familiar to me. At least Sebastian’s here, which oddly makes me accept this lack of control. Like it’s all going to be okay since he’s around, which doesn’t make any sense because what do we even know about each other? It’s better than passing out alone, though. Lying on the cold, hard ground for hours before anyone finds out whether you’re alive or not.
“Maya,” Sebastian says again. “Stay with me.” I wish he would keep talking in that gruff voice of his as if he just woke up. But he doesn’t, and I don’t have the energy to tell him that. I’m just glad I’m not alone right now.
Sebastian touches my cheek once again as if checking whether my skin is still warm. The gesture is kind. He’s a completely different person right now, someone I would like to know better. But the darkness takes over, and I’m asleep before that can come to pass.