by Mia Wolf
Chapter 19 - Sebastian
Maya isn’t that heavy in my arms. I laugh out loud, thinking about what a punch she packs in this tiny body of hers. She’s safely nestled into my arms, her face buried in the crook of my neck as I take her home. The morning sunlight falls on her face, illuminating it. She looks so peaceful right now; I’m not rejoicing that she passed out, but I would be lying if I said I’m not enjoying the moment. When else am I going to get the chance to see her up close? I don’t think it’ll happen again soon while she’s awake. We’re supposed to keep away from each other, but we’re pretty bad at it. Both her and I.
I arrive at the cul-de-sac and push the door to Maya’s home open. It’s unlocked, and I take her to her bed, placing her gently on the mattress. I put the blanket over her, and she quickly curls into a ball, grabbing hold of the blanket and wrapping herself in it. She must’ve been cold.
I sit next to her and watch over her; I’m not leaving her alone in this state. It doesn’t matter if she’s going to be upset. Besides, I think I have the upper hand in that department after what happened with Harris. Speaking of which… I pull my phone out and text the poor guy, apologizing for what happened. It’s funny; he was hoping that Maya could convince me to paint. I bet he didn’t expect her to attack him. Knowing him, I don’t think he’ll let today discourage him from his attempts to get me painting, though. That’s something I dislike about determined people: they can’t be stopped, even when you want them to.
I fight the urge to look around Maya’s house for clues or information that will help me find out whether she’s the woman Code Blue is looking for. I don’t want to invade her privacy. Besides, I’m not sure if it matters anymore whether she’s the one or not because if she is, I sure as hell am not letting Code Blue get a hold of her. I know that’ll put me in a lot of trouble because I don’t know whether I’ve got enough in me to go against Daniel.
I need a drink so badly, but I know that it won’t solve any of my problems. That’s what I used to hate the most about drinking: after you sober up, all of your problems are right where you left them.
Maya twists and turns in her bed, her pants moving up her leg, which is now sticking out from under the blanket. It looks tempting and reminds me of the night we were both in bed together. The memory instantly sends chills up my spine, and the discomfort in my pants makes me shift where I’m sitting. It’s not the time to have those thoughts; she’d kill me if she found out.
I’m on my phone, replying to texts from Ash when Maya wakes up. I help her up as she attempts to keep her head upright.
“Don’t strain yourself,” I tell her.
“Did you bring me home?” she asks, her words groggy and lips dry. She lazily closes her eyes then opens them again, straining to focus.
“I did,” I tell her. “I didn’t have any other option.”
A quiet moment passes between us, neither of us speaking. Maya looks at me like she realizes that she made a mistake. She doesn’t seem like the type to hurt people out of her own self-interest or for any sick sense of satisfaction. But she still attacked Harris, and I have no idea why she would do that.
“You sneaked up on me again,” I say with a lot less anger than I felt at first. “You might want to explain why you keep doing that, Maya.”
She looks like she’s about to cry, but I don’t let that sway me. Yes, she’s probably my target, but I haven’t given her any reason not to trust me so far. I haven’t broken that unspoken contract, and she has. For the third time now.
She tucks a loose lock of hair behind her ear and gulps hard, her eyes cast downward in guilt below her long eyelashes. Even now, she’s too damn beautiful, and I want to throw the whole Harris business out of the window, so she doesn’t have to suffer. But we can’t go down that path of overlooking each other’s flaws. I’ve overlooked my own too often, and I know they’ll only come back to bite you in the end.
“I apologized to Harris on your behalf,” I say kindly.
“Can I?” she bursts out. “Can I apologize to him in person when he comes around again? I didn’t mean to scare or hurt him.” She looks down at her hands, perhaps questioning her own intentions. There’s that hesitation on her face like she’s contemplating the idea of her actually being a bad person. I suppose normal people don’t find it this easy to point blades at people’s throat.
“Sure, if that makes you feel better, you can do that,” I say, which seems to bring momentary relief to her face. “But you still haven’t answered my question, Maya. Why do you keep jumping into my business?”
“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for being so paranoid and jumpy and a lunatic all around,” she says. I hear a tremble in her voice as if she’s in a place that’s a lot less safe than her bedroom. “I’m sorry,” she says again in the softest whisper before she breaks down crying.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Should I comfort her? Of course, I should, I can’t watch her cry like this, but when I reach for her, she raises her hand and stops me. She doesn’t want me to get close to her, I remind myself.
“I’m fine.” Maya’s sobs slowly subside, and the light returns to her eyes. She looks at me, pinning me to the spot with her gaze. “But there’s something I want to tell you.”
All other noise in the room fades to the background, and a breeze creeps in through the window, ruffling Maya’s hair. Her tears have dried by now, and she’s looking intently at me like she’s about to entrust me with her life’s biggest secrets. A part of me feels honored that she would consider me trustworthy enough, but there’s another part of me that thinks that I might not be deserving of her trust.
I don’t tell her this because there’s a resolve in Maya’s eyes telling me that she’ll see this through to the end. It’s the same look she has when she’s fighting. The light in her eyes shines so brightly that all I want to do is protect it. And I have a feeling that she’s about to give me a reason to do exactly that.
“I want to tell you who I am,” Maya begins taking a deep breath. “I’m from a bear village up in the northwestern part of the woods. The people from my village are known to be legendary warriors. For centuries, they’ve fought for causes that they believed in, but somewhere along the line, we started focusing on the money that the fighting rakes in. And so began a long-lasting culture of running errands for money that more often than not involved hurting people. My family comes from a lineage of particularly strong warriors, and for that reason, we were always sought out to do the village’s dirty work. My brother Kai and I were put into training when we were barely seven years old. By the time we were teenagers, we were going on missions that the village council accepted from any well-paying thug. My parents were unhappy with that state of affairs, so we decided to run away from the village. Things were fine for a few months until the villagers found us… They murdered my parents in cold blood before our eyes. My brother and I, we were taken back to the village and went back to running missions. They didn’t give us any choice. One day, Kai and I were sent on a risky mission. We were warned to be careful, and we were, but it wasn’t enough. Kai was shot. We were out in the middle of nowhere, and he… he died in my arms. I vowed that day that I will never set foot in the village again and if I was forced to then I would die trying to be free from their clutches. I will never be a prisoner again, Sebastian.”
She says my name as if I’m holding her hostage. Then her expression softens, and I understand that it’s a plea, not a threat. I’m lost for words for a moment. It’s clear to me now that she’s definitely the Maya Venne Ford from the warrior village that Code Blue is after. This makes my job a hell of a lot harder, but I’ll be damned if I don’t see this through.
I take her hand in mine, and she lets me. “I’ll do anything I can to stop anyone from taking away your freedom, Maya. I promise you that.” Even though there’s no reason for me to make that promise, it doesn’t come out insincere. Perhaps that’s because I truly mean it. Why do I feel like I owe this to
her?
“Why would you do that for me?” Maya asks. I can tell that she doesn’t mean it in a suspicious way; she’s just trying to look for reasons to trust me.
“Believe it or not, but I’m asking myself the same question,” I say. “Let’s just say that we’ve both had very similar life experiences. It feels like I was meant to do this.” I smile weakly at her and feel afraid of the truth in my own words. Maya is that version of me that I get to protect. I couldn’t free myself, but the least I can do is help her be free.
But I’ll keep my secret safe for now; that’s a story for another time. What I need right now is a plan to throw Code Blue off Maya’s trail, so that I can buy her some time.
Chapter 20 - Maya
I told him everything.
My head’s swirling with a dozen questions. Why would you blurt everything out like that? What if he rats you out? What if the village actually sent him to abduct you and take you back? I don’t listen to any of them because that’s just how my mind is; it trusts no one. The internal battle is real, and I fight the thoughts, nearly losing several times until I finally break the pattern. Then the calm settles in, the soft inhale and the steady exhale. I’m in control of my mind like I’ve never been.
Today, I find no motivation to train, but I make my way to the woods anyway. I can walk a trail up the woods, follow the mountain ashes up north a little until I find the river. I used to do this a lot to secure the perimeter, back when I used to go on missions. I don’t have any need to do that anymore. I prefer to just be with nature today, immerse myself in that calmness and be by myself; free and clean of any outside influence. Free of thoughts of Sebastian. As delightful as those thoughts might be, they’re all-consuming. I lose my sense of self when I’m thinking about him, and it makes me like him a little less which is not fair to him.
I think of our conversation yesterday, of how sincere he sounded when he said he would keep me safe. It’s odd, but it felt like the same kind of comfort that my parents or Kai gave me, the same kind of comfort that comes from family because you know they won’t leave you behind. I must be foolish to think that about a stranger or an acquaintance at best. I must be stupid, but it doesn’t change the fact that there is comfort in his promise. Even when I’m very capable of keeping myself safe.
With my satchel swinging across my shoulder and clad in my red tunic, I hike up the mountain like Kai and I used to when we were training. We used to play all kinds of games like guessing who would beat Master Kana first in the mixed martial arts class, or who would beat our dad first in Go, or who would be the first to complete a mission. Even though Kai was older than I was, my progress was fast, and I was at his level within a few months after I started training. All the masters made Kai feel bad about it, and I was so afraid that he would end up hating me because of all the grown-ups favoring me over him, but he never did. He hated the masters instead and never let an opportunity pass to be a pain in their asses. I have always been grateful that he didn’t hate me because I know that had I been in his shoes, I would have.
The farther up I walk, the taller and leaner the trees are, but I’m nowhere near the river yet. As I walk on, it feels like I’m transported back to my childhood, back to when Kai was still around, back to when we hadn’t started to go on missions yet. We didn’t know how much darker the real world was then.
I wonder what Kai would do? I ask myself that question all the time. He was smarter, kinder, and better than me; he represented everything I wasn’t and wanted to be. He was my guiding light. I wonder if he knew what he meant to me. I hope that he at least knew that I loved him dearly.
But I ask myself what Kai would do right now because I’m at crossroads with my feelings for Sebastian. On the one hand, I can’t seem to distance myself from him. All of my attempts to do so end up crashing and burning. But on the other hand, I can’t seem to trust him either. I know there’s something he’s hiding from me. I know nothing about his life, and blind trust can be very dangerous, I know that for a fact. What would Kai do if he were in my shoes right now?
I dig into my own subconscious, which understands Kai much better than I ever could consciously, and I mimic his voice as I speak out loud. “To be alive means to have loved.”
Yeah, he would say something wise and vague like that. It used to irk me when he used to do that when I was younger. I wanted easy answers, answers that could be understood then implemented. I had no patience for cryptic messages that I would need to be wise enough for to decipher. Some things never change. I still don’t like cryptic answers, but I also now know the value of having to figure out what they mean. Ever since I lost Kai, I’ve stopped living because I’m so damn afraid to. And then this random guy walks in, taking over everything, my mind, my heart, my body.
Sebastian is all that the world can give to me and all that the world can snatch away from me. But more than that, he makes me feel alive. I know that truth, and yet I’m afraid of it like I’ve always been. I’m not like Kai. I don’t play with fire. I play it safe.
And look where it got you, the voice within says.
Something catches my attention; it’s the sound of water in the distance. I arrive at a cliff and move closer to its edge to see what’s down there. Sure enough, I see the river. The sight brings me a lot more joy than I thought it would and also answers the silent question in my heart.
Do I let myself fall in?
“You would only be beginning live, Maya,” is what Kai would say. It’s about time I stopped running away from life and started running towards it. And so what if I get hurt? I’ve picked myself up before, and I can pick myself up again.
I reach the river bank and lie flat on the pebbles as the water flows down the stream. I miss you, Kai. For all the lessons your death taught me, I still wish you were alive.
Chapter 21 - Sebastian
I’m at the Code Blue headquarters, waiting for my meeting with Daniel that I asked Ash to set up. Maya is clearly the woman they’re looking for, even when they won’t tell me why. They’ve been incredibly secretive about this mission the whole time. They barely gave me any information to go on, but after what Maya told me, it’s safe to assume that someone from her village is looking for her. And from the looks of it, they must’ve paid some handsome money to catch her if Code Blue is treating this mission as a top priority. It tells me how valuable her village council considers Maya to be. A weapon they have invested in. I understand the sentiment because I’m the same thing for Code Blue; the only reason why I’m still alive is that I make them a lot of money.
Ash tells me to go in, and I walk into Daniel’s office. He’s sitting in his chair with that icy chill in his eyes; I swear the man can pierce souls with that look. He’s lean and tall with elongated features, and his black attire makes him look very intimidating and trustworthy at the same time. I’ve seen him talk to the most dangerous of men, and the look of respect that they give him is incredible. He has charisma and a strange charm about him; it really throws people off. It doesn’t help that Daniel is extremely well-read and most of the time, he does truly know best. All in all, no one ever remembers to check whether he’s a good guy or not but I know that deep in his heart, he’s irrevocably broken.
“Sebastian Kurtz,” he says, and the poison that he puts into my last name sends shivers down my spine. How he can have such an effect with mere words is beyond me. “You have an update on the warrior girl, I hear. Please make it worth my time.”
I’m glad I’ve gotten used to disappointing him because he’s not going to like what I have to say. “The lead that I had… I chased it to its tail end. Unfortunately, it was a false alarm. The woman is not the one we’re looking for.”
“Well, I'm hardly surprised given how weak the lead was to begin with,” he says as he looks straight into my eyes. Does he suspect that I’m not telling the truth? “This is not like you, Sebastian. I thought you were smarter than this, more experienced. I’ve trained you myself after all. You were the bes
t of them all, but it seems that the longer you spend out of my reach, the more pathetic you become.”
I sit there hearing those words and feel my blood starting to boil like it always does. He has a way of getting into my head. Better said, he has drawn himself a comfortable couch up there and is having a royal time stripping me of all respect. I can’t say that I missed this. He might not enjoy me being out of his clutches, but I love every second of it. I can’t wait for the day when I’m free from his control for good.
“I’m doing my best,” is all I say, already knowing what’s coming.
“Your best, Sebastian?” he sneers. “Your best means so little to Code Blue, to me. How about you step up your game before you get a good beating?”
All the memories of Daniel hitting me with whatever he can get his hands on come flooding back to me. Sometimes a belt, sometimes a cane, and sometimes just random objects that he hurls at me no matter the consequences. He gave me a concussion once. But the worst part of it is that there’s never any remorse on his face; the psychopath enjoys it.
“I’ll try—” But I don’t even finish my sentence because I don’t mean it, and I’m sick and tired of pretending.
“Spare yourself the embarrassment of sounding like a wuss. And don’t show your face again before you have the girl.”
I leave as soon as I’m dismissed because every time I breathe the same air as Daniel, I feel the life losing my body. He’s poison.
On my way out, I run into Ash.
“What do you mean, the lead was a false alarm?” he asks me.
“Good job with the eavesdropping, Ash,” I say. “And it means what it sounds like. The lead wasn’t good enough.”