Si Klegg, Book 5

by John McElroy

  CHAPTER XVII. THE FRIGHTENED SURGEON

  SI AND SHORTY HAVE A TIME WITH THEIR WILD, YOUNG SQUAD.

  MUCH to their amazement, the boys waked up the next morning inNashville, and found that they had passed through the "dark and bloodyground" of Kentucky absolutely without adventure.

  "How in the world'd we ever git clean through the State without theleast bit o' trouble?" asked Harry Joslyn, as they stood together on theplatform awaiting the return of Si and Shorty, who had gone to see abouttheir breakfast. "It was fight from the word go with the other men fromthe minute they struck Kentucky."

  "Probably it was Corpril Elliott's good management," suggested GidMackall, whose hero-worship of Shorty grew apace. "I tell you there ainta trick o' soldierin' that he aint up to."

  "Corpril Elliott's?" sneered Harry Joslyn. "You're just stuck on CorprilElliott. If it was anybody's good management it was Sargint Klegg's. Itell you, he's the boss. He got shot through the breast, while CorprilElliott only got a crack over the head. That settles it as to who's thebest soldier. I'm kind o' sorry that we didn't have no trouble. Mebbethe folks at home'll git the idea that we skulked and dodged."

  "That's so," accorded the others, with a troubled look.

  "But we are now in Tennessee," chirped in Gid Mackall hopefully. "That'sever so much worse'n Kentucky. We must come to rebels purty soon now.They won't let so many reinforcements git to Gen. Thomas if they kinhelp it." And Gid looked around on his companions, as if he thoughttheir arrival would turn the scale and settle the fate of theConfederacy. "They'll probably jump us just as soon as we leave town.Them big forts on the hills mebbe keeps them outside now, but they'relayin' for us just beyond. Wonder if we'll git our guns here? Mebbethat's what the Sargint and Corpril's gone for."

  "They said they were going for our breakfast," said Harry. "And I hopeit's true, for I'm hungrier'n a rip-saw. But I could put off breakfastfor awhile, if they'd only bring us our guns. I hope they'll be niceSpringfield rifles that'll kill a man at a mile."

  "'Tention!" commanded Si. "Fall in single rank 'cordin' to your size.Tall boys on the right, short ones on the left, medium in the center.Gid Mackall, you're the tallest. You can go there to the corner o' theplatform and let the others form on you."

  Si stepped back into the shed to look after some matters.

  Harry Joslyn whipped around and took his stand on the right of GidMackall.

  "Here," protested Gid; "Sargint Klegg told me to stand on the right.You're smaller'n me. Git on the other side."

  "I won't do it," answered Harry. "I've always stood ahead o' you inschool, ever since we were in the primer class, and I aint goin' tostand behind you in the army. You needn't try to gouge me out o' myrights because you're half-a-head taller. I'm two months older'n you,and I can throw you in a wrastle every time."

  "I tell you," said Gid, giving Harry an angry shove toward the left,"that this is my place, and I'm goin' to stand here. The Sargint told meto. Go down where you belong, you little rat."

  The hot-headed Harry mixed up with him immediately, school-boy fashion.Shorty rushed up and separated the two, giving Harry a sharp shake."Stop that, and go down to your place in the center," said he.

  "Yes; you side with him," whimpered Harry, "because he praises you andsays you're a better soldier'n Sargint Klegg. I'm goin' to tell SargintKlegg that."

  "Here," said Si, sternly, as he came back again. "What's all this row?Why don't you boys fall in 'cordin' to size, as I told you?"

  "Sargint," protested Harry, "Gid Mackall wants to stand at the head o'the class. I'm older'n him, I can spell him down, and I can throw himin--"

  Si interrupted the appeal by taking Harry by the ear and marching him tohis place.

  "Look here," he said, "when you git an order from anyone, don't give'em no back talk. That's the first thing you've got to learn, and theearlier you learn it the less trouble you'll have. If you don't like it,take it out in swearin' under your breath, but obey."

  "But, Sargint, he said that Corpril Elliott was a better soldier'n"

  "Silence in ranks," said Si, giving him a shake. "Right dress. Come outin the center. Mackall, stand up straight there. Take that hump out o'your shoulders. Put your heels together, all of you. Turn your toes out.Put your little fingers down to the seams o' your pantaloons. Draw yourstomachs in. Throw your chests out. Hold your heads up. Keep your facesstraight to the front, and cast your eyes to the right until you kin seethe buttons on the breast o' the third man to your right. Come forwarduntil they're in line.

  "Goodness," moaned some of the boys, as they were trying to obey whatseemed a' hopeless mass of directions, "do we have to do this everymornin' before we kin have breakfast? We'll starve to death before wegit anything to eat. No use tellin' us to draw our stomachs in. They'reclean in to our backbones now."

  "Mustn't talk in ranks, boys," Shorty kindly admonished. "It's strictlyagin' regulations. Straighten up, there, like soldiers, all o' you, andgit into a line. Looks like a ram's horn now. If the rebels'd shoot downthat line they wouldn't hit one o' you."

  Jim Humphries, one of the medium-sized boys, suddenly turned as whiteas a sheet and fell on the planks. One after another of those around himdid the same, until a half-dozen were lying there in a heap.

  "What in the world's the matter?" asked Si, rushing up to them indismay.

  "They're pizened, that's what they are," shouted Harry Joslyn."That guerrilla goin' over there pizened 'em. I saw him a-givin' 'emsomething. He's tryin' to git away. Le's ketch him."

  At the word the boys made a rush for the man who was quietly walkingoff. As they ran they threw stones, which went with astonishingprecision and force. One of them struck the man on the head and felledhim. Then the boys jumped on him and began pounding and kicking him. Siand Shorty came up, pushed off the boys and pulled the man to his feet.He was terrified at the onset which had been made upon him, and couldnot understand its reason.

  "What've I done?" he gasped. "What're all yo'uns weltin' me for? I haintno rebel. I've done tuk the oath of allegiance long ago."

  "Now there'll be a hangin' sure," said Harry, in eager expectancy.

  "What'd you do to them boys back there?" demanded Si.

  "Didn't do nothin' to 'em. Sw'ar to God A'mighty I didn't."

  "That telegraph pole will be just the thing to hang him on," suggestedHarry to Gid. "We could put him on a flat car and push the car out fromunder him. I'll look around for a rope, Gid, and you git ready to climbthe pole."

  "He did do something to 'em, Sargint," said Gid Mackall. "I seen himgivin' 'em something."

  "'Twas only a little mite o' terbacker," the man explained. "They'unssaid they'uns was mouty hongry, and wanted t' know if I'd anything t'eat. I hadn't nothing, but I done had a little terbacker, which I tole'em'd take away the hongry feelin', and I gin each o' they'uns a lettlechaw."

  "I shouldn't wonder but he's tellin' the truth," Shorty whispered to Si."Le's take him back there and see."

  Coming back to the platform they found the boys there recovering but stillvery weak and pale. They confirmed the story about the tobacco. Shortyexamined the rest of the tobacco in the man's possession with thepracticed taste of a connoisseur, found it strong black plug, just thething to upset a green boy who took it on an empty stomach, cut off aliberal chew for himself and dismissed the man with a kick.

  "Now, le's form agin and march to breakfast. Great Scott, how hungry Iam," said Si. "'Tention. Fall in 'cordin' to size. Single rank."

  "What's size got to do with gittin' breakfast?" complained Harry Joslyn,who had another grievance, now that he had again been disappointed inhanging a guerrilla. "Biggest boys'll git there first and get the mostto eat. The rest of us need just as much as they do."

  "Silence in the ranks," commanded Shorty, snappishly. "Don't foolaround. Git into your place and stay there. We want breakfast some timetoday."

  Shorty lined up the boys in a hurry and Si commanded.

  "Right dress! Come out a little there on
the left! Steady! Withoutdoublin', right face!"

  A squad of Provost-Guards came up at a double-quick, deployed, surroundedthe squad and began bunching the boys together rather roughly, using thebutts of their muskets.

  "What does this mean?" Si asked angrily of the Lieutenant in command.

  "It means that you and your precious gang have to go down to Provo'Headquarters at once," answered the Lieutenant. "And no words about it.Forward, march, now."

  "But you've got no business to interfere with me," protested Si. "I'vegot my orders to take this squad o' recruits to my regiment, and I'mdoin' it. I'm goin' to put 'em on the cars as soon's I kin git breakfastfor 'em, and start for Chattanoogy."

  "Well, why didn't you get breakfast for them and put them on thecars peaceably and quietly, without letting them riot around and killcitizens and do all manner of devilment. You have a fine account tosettle."

  "But they haint killed no citizen. They haint bin riotin' around, and Iain't a-goin' with you. You've no right, I tell you, to interfere withme."

  "Well, you just will go with me, and no more chinning."

  A Major, attracted by the altercation, rode up and asked what was thematter.

  "Word came to Headquarters," explained the Lieutenant, "that a squadof recruits were rioting, and had killed a citizen, and I was sent downhere on the run to stop it and arrest the men. This Sergeant, who seemsto be in command, refuses to go with me."

  "I tell you, Major," said Si, who recognized the officer as belonging tohis brigade, "there was nobody killed, or even badly hurt. These littleroosters got up a school-yard scrap all about a mistake; it was all overin a minute. There's the man they say was killed, settin' over there onthat pile o' lumber smokin' his pipe."

  "You're Si Klegg, aren't you, of the 200th Ind.?" asked the Major.

  "Yes, Major," answered Si, saluting. "And you're Maj. Tomlinson, of the1st Oshkosh. This is my pardner. Shorty."

  "Glad to see you with Sergeant's stripes on," said the Major, shakinghands with him. "I congratulate you on your promotion. You deserved it,I know."

  "So did Shorty," added Si, determined that his partner should not lackfull measure of recognition.

  "Yes, I congratulate Shorty, too. Lieutenant, I know these men, and theyare all right. There has been a mistake. You can take your men back toHeadquarters."

  "'Tention," commanded the Lieutenant. "Get into line! Right dress!Front! Right face! Forward, file left--march!"

  "'Tention," commanded Si. "Fall in in single ranks, 'cordin' to size. Bemighty spry about it. Right dress! Count off in whole numbers."

  Another Provost squad came double-quicking up, followed by someambulances. Again the boys were hurriedly bunched up. The Provost squad,however, did not seem to want to come to as close quarters as the otherhad. They held back noticeably.

  "Now, what in thunder does this mean?" asked Si with angry impatience."What's up now?"

  "Sergeant, are you in command of this squad?" asked a brisk littleman with the green stripes of a Surgeon, who got out of one of theambulances.

  "Yes, I am," said Si, saluting as stiffly as he dared. "What's thematter?"

  "Well, get those men of yours that are down into the ambulances asquickly as you can, and form those that are able to walk close behind.Be on the jump, because the consequences of your staying here may beserious to the army. How are you feeling yourself? Got any fever? Let mesee your tongue."

  "What in the world's the matter with you?" asked Si in bewilderment.

  "Come, don't waste any time asking questions," answered the nervouslittle Surgeon. "There's more troops coming right along, and we mustn'ttake any chances of their catching it."

  "Ketch what? Great grief, ketch what?" groaned Si. "They've alreadyketched everything in this mortal world that was ketchable. Now what arethey goin' to ketch?"

  "Why, the smallpox, you dumby," said the Surgeon irritably. "Don't youknow that we are terribly afraid of a visitation of smallpox to thearmy? They've been having it very bad in some places up North, and we'vebeen watching every squad of recruits from up there like hawks. A mancame down to Hospital Headquarters just now and reported that a dozen ofyour boys had dropped right on the platform. He said that he knewyou, and you came from a place in Indiana that's being swept by thesmallpox."

  SMALLPOX, YOUR GRANNY, SAID SI 237]

  "Smallpox, your granny," said Si wrathfully. "There haint bin nosmallpox in our neighborhood since the battle o' Tippecanoe. The onlyman there who ever had it fit in the battle under Gen. Harrison. He hadit when he was a child, and was so old that the pockmarks on him wuzwore so smooth you could scarcely see 'em. Our neighborhood's sohealthy you can't even have a square case o' measles. Gosh darn it," Siexploded, "what glandered fool was it that couldn't tell 'backer-sickfrom smallpox? What locoed calves have you runnin' up to yourHeadquarters bawlin' reports?"

  "Sir," said the Surgeon stiffly, "you forget that you are speaking toyour superior officer."

  "Excuse me. Doctor," said Si, recovering himself and saluting. "I'm veryhungry, and worried to death with these frisky kids that I'm trying togit to my regiment. The only trouble is that some of the trundle-bedgraduates took their first chaw o' terbacker this mornin' on emptystomachs and it keeled 'em over. Come here and look at 'em yourself.You'll see it in a minute."

  "Certainly. I see it very plainly," said the Surgeon, after looking themover. "Very absurd to start such a report, but we are quite nervous onthe subject of smallpox getting down to the army.

  "Take your men in and give them their breakfast, Sergeant, and they'll beall right.

  "That's what I've bin tryin' to do for the last two hours," said Si,as he saluted the Surgeon, departing with his ambulances and men."'Tention. Confound you, fall in in single rank, 'cordin' to size, anddo it in short meter, before anything else happens. Right dress! Front!Without doublin', right face! Great Scott, what's the matter with youroosters? Don't you know your right hands from your lefts? Turn aroundthere, you moon-eyed goshngs! Forward--file right--march!"

  "Here, Sergeant," said a large man with three chevrons on his arm. "Iwant to halt your men till I look 'em over. Somebody's gone througha sutler's car over there on the other track and I think it was yourcrowd. I want to find out."

  "Halt nothin'," said Si, brushing him out of the way. "I'm goin' togit these youngsters their breakfast before there's a tornado or anearthquake. Go 'way, if you know what's good for you."