Highland Heart

by Ruth Ryan Langan

of Scots when just an infant."

  "Aye, Majesty. It is natural that you should want to're turn to those

  happier places to await the birth of your child."

  Mary placed her hand over Douglas Gordon's.

  "Do you think anyone suspects that I am here?"

  "I heard no such rumors, Majesty."

  "Then I am safe, praise heaven."

  Douglas glanced over the queen's bowed head to meet Jamie's gaze. He

  shook his head slightly. His gesture was not lost on Lindsey. She

  felt a tremor of fear for her queen.

  In a much lighter mood, Mary turned to the handsome young men who

  surrounded their father.

  "Lindsey has told me much about you. I feel as if I already know you.

  Let me see..." She studied the four, then turned to Murray.

  "You are the eldest, Murray. Is that not so?"

  "Aye, Majesty." Murray flushed with pleasure.

  "You are the most like your father. And you," Mary said, turning to

  Donald, "are the one who makes all the lasses' hearts flutter."

  Donald was not the least insulted by his image as a wencher. But he

  was surprised that the queen should know such a thing about him.

  "Aye, Majesty. I am. fond of women." "You, Robert, are the poet."

  "Aye," Robbie said.

  "And I know that, having met my queen, I will be moved to write many

  inspiring verses to your beauty." ;

  Mary's smile grew.

  "I cannot wait to hear your poetry." She turned to the shy lad who

  ducked his head when she looked at him.

  "You are Neal," the queen said.

  "Your sister tells me that you love caring for horses."

  "Aye, Majesty." His cheeks were as bright as the queen's gown.

  "I have put off riding here at Lochleven, because my stable master did

  not accompany me. But while we are here, you shall be my stable

  master."

  "Majesty." Neal fell to his knees before her and, overcome with

  emotion, caught her hand and kissed it.

  Mary was touched by his devotion.

  She turned to his father.

  "Ah, Douglas. Would that life could always be this simple. And yet,

  though I long yearned for some time away from the pressure of ruling my

  people, I find I miss the pomp and ceremony at court." She

  brightened.

  "Do you remember the time you helped me greet the Emperor of Spain?"

  "Aye, Majesty. You ordered me to match him drink for drink. Little

  did you know how much wine he could hold."

  Mary laughed until she wiped tears from her eyes.

  "Or how little you could hold, Douglas. As I recall, you had to be

  helped to your chambers."

  Lindsey glanced from her father to the queen, then back again. In her

  father's eyes was a light of laughter that had long been missing.

  While the fire blazed and the goblets were filled, Mary regaled them

  with stories about life at court, often asking Jamie or Douglas to

  interject their comments. Lindsey and her brothers found themselves

  laughing often. None of them had realized just how dear a friend their

  father was to the queen.

  Stifling a yawn, the queen got slowly to her feet.

  "I must retire for the night," she said.

  "I find that I tire easily these days."

  Immediately everyone stood at attention. The men bowed. Lindsey

  curtsied.

  "But on the morrow, Neal, you and I will ride the grounds of

  Lochleven."

  "Aye, Majesty." The lad's eyes were bright with pleasure.

  "It will be my honor."

  The queen shot a glance at her husband, who reluctantly set down his

  tankard and crossed the room to offer his arm. Everyone remained

  standing until the door closed behind them.

  As soon as they were alone, Murray clapped a hand on his father's

  shoulder and said, "You old dog. You never told us that you and the

  queen were such close friends."

  Douglas gave a negligent shrug of his shoulders and emptied his

  tankard. But though his words were humble, there was a twinkle in his

  eye as he said absently, "I thought you knew. In my younger days I

  spent much time at court. But like Jamie MacDonald, my heart lay in

  the Highlands."

  "But you were never boastful of your close friendship. Most men would

  have used their relationship with the queen to acquire favors or

  power."

  Douglas dropped an arm around his eldest son's shoulders.

  "My son, I need neither favors nor power. That is why my friendship

  with Mary is an easy one. I value my queen for who she is; not for

  what she can give me."

  The housekeeper, looking flushed and untidy, entered and bowed before

  Douglas Gordon.

  "My lord, I have prepared rooms for you and your sons, and my Lord

  MacPherson. If you would follow me, I will offer them for your

  approval."

  Lindsey's heart went out to the little woman and her daughter, who had

  probably worked themselves into a frenzy seeing that enough rooms were

  prepared for so many unexpected guests. With no servants to assist

  them, they must be nearly exhausted by the additional work.

  Ian, seeing the way Jamie was watching Lindsey, gave a smug smile and

  caught Lindsey's hand.

  "Would you care to join us on a tour of our rooms, my lady?"

  She felt weary beyond 15elief. But this was, after all, her father's

  first night at Lochleven. With the queen retired for the night, it was

  her duty to act as hostess.

  "Aye. I would be happy to join you."

  Before Lindsey could move to her father's side, Ian placed her hand on

  his arm and closed his hand firmly over it. Lindsey was forced to move

  along at his side.

  Turning to Jamie, Douglas extended his hand.

  "Thank you for keeping my daughter safe."

  The two men shook hands solemnly, and Lindsey's brothers followed suit,

  before following the housekeeper up the stairs.

  Ian flashed Jamie a triumphant smile before leaning close to Lindsey

  and whispering loudly, "When we have inspected our rooms, my lady, I

  will see you to your room."

  When he began to lead her past Jamie, Lindsey paused.

  "Good night, my lord."

  Jamie inclined his head slightly.

  "Good night, my lady." Together, Lindsey and Ian climbed the stairs.

  But as they followed Mistress Macnab toward the far end of the hall,

  where the rooms had been prepared, Lindsey suddenly reaiized she had

  forgotten something very important.

  "My lord, I must see the queen."

  "Now?" Ian gave her a startled look.

  "She has retired for the night."

  "Aye. But this cannot wait. I must see her now."

  Ian accompanied Lindsey along the hall until they reached the queen's

  chambers. His knock was answered by the queen's voice from within.

  "Who is there?"

  "Lindsey Gordon, Majesty."

  "Enter."

  Ian opened the door and stood aside to allow Lindsey to enter. When

  she stepped inside, she barred his way.

  "Good night, my lord."

  "Good night, my lady." He lifted her hand to his lips and allowed the

  kiss to linger until she withdrew her hand and pulled away.

  Ian gave a sigh of
regret. His plans to get Lindsey alone had been

  thwarted. But there would be other chances.

  The sitting chamber and dining room of the queen's suite were in

  darkness. But beyond, in the queen's sleeping chamber, Lindsey could

  see the flickering light of candles.

  When she reached the doorway, she paused. The queen, with Sabina's

  help, had changed to an ornate lace sleeping gown. Over it she wore a

  crimson robe of cut velvet.

  Mary was seated before a looking glass. Sabina stood behind her,

  brushing her long red hair.

  "What did you wish, Lindsey?"

  Lindsey felt suddenly shy in front of her queen. With her head bowed

  she said, "I was so overjoyed to see my family, Majesty, that I

  neglected to thank you properly. You must know what their presence

  here means to me. How can I ever thank you for your kindness?"

  "You thank the wrong person." The queen met her gaze in the looking

  glass. With a gentle smile she said, "I thought you knew, my lady. It

  was not I who sent for your father and brothers, though, of course, I

  gave my approval

  The other woman saw the questioning look that came into Lindsey's eyes,

  and her smile grew.

  "Aye, Lindsey. It is Jamie MacDonald you must thank."

  Chapter Eighteen

  Jamie. As Lindsey made her way down the darkened hall, her heart sang

  with the knowledge. It was not the queen who had arranged for her

  family's visit; it was Jamie. Sensing her anguish, he had done the one

  thing that would set her mind at ease.

  Why was she surprised by his unexpected kindness? And so touched by

  it? It was like him to do such a thing. There was a goodness in him, a

  kindness that belied his fearsome appearance and his reputation for

  heartlessness. Perhaps that was why she loved him so.

  She stopped dead in her tracks. Loved him? Could it be? Her eyes

  filled with tears and she wiped at them furiously. She must be more

  weary than she thought. Aye. There could be no other reason for the

  sudden rush of foolish emotion. She found herself weeping again.

  She was not being foolish, she thought with sudden in sight. She loved

  Jamie MacDonald. Aye, truly loved him. Though she did not know how or

  when it had happened . she knew it was so. She knew it when she had

  awakened to find him by her side, offering her comfort. She knew it

  when he kissed her and the icy fear around her heart melted. A fear

  that she had carried for all those long years. She knew it when she

  looked into the handsome face of

  Ian MacPherson and felt nothing. No other man would ever tempt her.

  No man except Jamie MacDonald.

  Love. The thought terrified her. It altered everything. What could

  she do about this strange new situation? How could she possibly go on

  sharing a suite of rooms with a man and pretend she did not have these

  feelings? How could she calmly sit across the room from him and not

  blurt out the words?

  Her footsteps quickened. The lilt of laughter bubbled to her lips.

  She had to see him. This very instant. She needed to see if he would

  look---different somehow.

  At their sitting chamber she threw open the door and strode inside.

  She experienced fleeting disappointment when the room was empty.

  Without thought to what she was doing, she bounded across the room to

  the door of Jamie's sleeping chamber. With a quick knock she flung the

  door wide and stepped inside.

  Jamie had removed his tunic and shirt. He stood on the balcony, his

  thoughts as dark as the waters of the loch far below.

  He was aware of the devious game that Ian MacPherson was playing. But

  he could not be a party to it. MacPherson was aware that he cut a fine

  figure. And he was very good at pretty words and lingering looks that

  were meant to set a maiden's heart all aflutter.

  Jamie's hand clenched around the stem of his goblet. If such things

  impressed Lindsey, then there was nothing to be done about it but to

  turn away. And whatever grief he felt, no one would be the wiser. At

  least he had not made a fool of himself by dee! ing his love.

  When his door was thrown open, he turned. For long moments he could

  not believe his eyes. The object of his tortured thoughts stood before

  him, smiling as if she had just learned a great secret.

  Now what was she up to?

  Lindsey came rushing into Jamie's sleeping chamber,

  then skidded to an abrupt halt. Her eyes widened. What had she been

  thinking of? From her position by the door way, she could see that he

  had prepared himself for sleep. He was in a state of undress.

  Moonlight streamed through the balcony window, casting him in

  mysterious silvery light and darkened shadow. As always, he was

  scowling at her. She suddenly felt shy and awkward.

  "Forgive me, my lord. I..." Her brain seemed to have gone numb. She

  could think of no plausible reason for such uncivilized behavior.

  "I

  was told by the queen that you were responsible for bringing my father

  and brothers here to Lochleven. I wanted to thank you. "

  "You are most welcome."

  "I had thought to wait until the morrow to offer my thanks, but my

  heart was too joyous to wait that long. I had to thank you now, before

  I retired for the night. Else, I could never sleep." She was

  babbling, she knew, but she could not seem to stop herself. She had a

  terrible need to fill the silence With silly prattle.

  He said nothing. He merely stared at her with that strange, haunted

  look.

  "Well, I" -she twisted her hands nervously and turned toward the door

  "--am keeping you from your sleep, my lord."

  "Nay." He quickly crossed the room and placed a hand on her sleeve to

  stay her departure.

  "I am not tired, my lady. I was merely looking over the grounds of

  Lochleven and thinking of the Highlands."

  She felt his hand, warm upon her arm, and her heartbeat quickened.

  "Do you miss the Highlands?"

  "Aye."

  "As do I."

  "You?" He smiled suddenly, erasing the frown that until then had her

  paralyzed with fear.

  "After planning and scheming to journey to Edinburgh, you miss the

  High lands?"

  "Aye." She looked away, unable to bear the fact that he was laughing

  at her. How could he be so cruel, when her heart was brimming with

  such love?

  "My heart will always lie in the Highlands."

  "As will mine."

  She swallowed. There was nothing more to say.

  As if sensing her uneasiness, he broke the silence.

  "Will you have some ale, my lady?"

  Before she could respond he crossed to a sideboard and filled a goblet.

  Handing it to her he said, "We will drink to the safe arrival of your

  family."

  "Aye." She gave him a warm smile before lifting the goblet to her

  lips. The ale heated her blood. She took an other sip.

  "Did your father approve of his rooms?"

  Lindsey shrugged.

  "I do not know. When I realized that I had forgotten to thank the

  queen, I left
the others and went to her chambers. It was she who told

  me of your kindness."

  He felt a lightness around his heart. She had' not gone with Ian

  MacPherson to his suite of rooms. Had gone, in fact, no farther than

  the queen's chambers. There would have been no time for MacPherson to

  stdal a kiss.

  He caught her hand and led her to the balcony. She was so happy just

  to feel his touch upon her, she followed with a light heart.

  On the gentle breeze was the tang of the river and the perfumed

  fragrance of spring flowers.

  "It is pleasant to watch the loch by moonlight." He suddenly

  pointed.

  "Look. There."

  Lindsey followed his direction and saw a shooting star making its

  glittering path across the velvet sky.

  "It is said to bring anything you wish for," she murmured fervently.

  She closed her eyes for a moment and Jamie had to fight | the urge to

  haul her into his arms and kiss her until she ] was breathless. He

  leaned a hip against the balcony and studied her.

  Light from the moon bathed her in a golden halo. On the breeze her

  hair was a silken veil, glinting with sparks of fire. Her eyes

  reflected the starlight, glittering like emeralds. There was a

  luminous quality about her this night that he had never noticed before.

  He had gone quiet again. When he was like this, Lindsey could think

  of nothing to say.

  "Why do you stare at me like that, my lord?" Very deliberately he set

  down his goblet and took a step toward her. As he did, she took a step

  back.

  "I like looking at you, my lady. It pleases me to look at you:" She

  felt her cheeks flame and was grateful for the night that would hide

  her blushing reaction to his words. He took another step toward her,

  but as she backed away she felt the scrape of the cold stone against

  her hips. He took the goblet from her hands. Her heart leaped to her

  throat.

  "I fear, my lady," he murmured as his hands settled on her shoulders,

  "that I must kiss you .... " He dragged her close. His eyes shone with

  a strange light.

  "Or go mad."

  His mouth closed over hers. Heat flowed between them. Each felt the

  jolt. And each struggled to deny it. This kiss was different from all

  that had gone before. This time there was more than passion, or

  desire, or need. Now there was knowledge and something more.

  Possession.

  His lips moved over hers, seeking, giving. His strong hands drew her

  closer, until she was pressed firmly to his chest. Her heart

  thundered. As did his. She was suddenly terrified of the feelings that

  tumbled through her. Feelings that left her dazed and shaken. She

  wanted to go on kissing him like this until dawn light streaked the

  sky. She wanted him to take her higher, higher than she had ever been

  before. But she was afraid.

  Pushing herself free of his embrace she whispered, "I must leave here

  at once."

  "Nay." He caught her arm, but she shook off his hand and nearly ran in

  her eagerness to escape If she did not flee, she would be lost. Lost

  to a passion that she did not yet understand.

  He watched as she sped across the room and flounced out in a flurry of

  skirts and petticoats. For long minutes he stared at the door that

  closed behind her.

  He picked up his goblet, but his hand shook so badly he spilled the

  ale. With a savage oath, he hurled the goblet from the balcony,

  Seconds later he heard it shatter on the courtyard below.

  "Good morrow, my lady."