Silver

by A E Gamrat

  “Hey, guys!” she yells, walking down her front steps toward us. In the three years I've known her, I've never ever seen a smile so big on her face. Her eyes are bright with laughter and mischief. “What a surprise this is,” she exclaims even louder, clasping her hands together.

  Silver is chuckling at my back, when it dawns on me why I'm even here. These stupid bags in my hands are the reason why, and I want to chuck them far, far away.

  I made these damn cookies to apologize to Anne for hearing about Silver through Claire. These homemade cookies were absolutely not a necessity, but when I feel guilty or any emotion…I bake. My two conniving best friends know this and use it to their advantage. Anne knows damn well what I'm carrying in these bags and why. If I could, I would get on my knees right here, right now, and beg for her to keep her mouth shut. Promising more baked goods for her silence. See the never-ending cycle?

  Pleading with my eyes, I get out, “That was the point…a surprise.” Please be kind to me, I will from me to her. “Ran into Silver on the way over.” Turning toward him, ready to introduce them, his boyish, almost shy look stops my words. Did he think I would not introduce him? Maybe keep him as my dirty little secret?

  My hip touches his when I introduce them. “Silver, this is Anne, and Anne, this is Silver.”

  “Hi,” Silver says, sticking out his hand for a handshake.

  Anne’s eyes light up with Silver’s manners, and she shakes his hand. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Silver. Do you guys want to come in, or are you just passing by?”

  “Sure,” Silver says, sweeping his arm in front of me, letting me know to go ahead, he’ll be right behind me.

  My hardcore man-hater best friend is giving me the eyes of “you better not let this one go.” She’s been in his presences for minutes, said a handful of words, and somehow, he’s won her over. If I were cynical over guys and relationships, Anne is the queen of the land. No matter the situation or the man, she has steps and guidelines before ever letting another one in or even giving them a handshake. Her hints about her marriage led me to certain conclusions, conclusions that make me want to murder him if I ever meet the asshole. I have a feeling she now has a new protector, who is standing in her living room watching us chitchat.

  I excuse myself from the room to put these awful bags down and, yes, I am still holding them. My hands are borderline numb and that’s why I keep forgetting about them. Or we could go with the truth being they were my lifeline to keeping myself sane or in the moment. Red indents mark the back of my hands from the handles. As I'm shaking them out and trying to stretch my fingers, Anne waltzes into the kitchen.

  At her laughing eyes, I put my hand up. “I don’t even know what’s going on. Please play nice, if you have any love for me, please play nice.”

  “I will, but damn…you do not know what I saw looking out my front door. I thought maybe I was having a seizure or an out-of-body experience.” She shakes her head, looking toward where her living room is. “I’ve never seen something so intimate and friendly at the same time. I was jealous of the woman who was wrapped up in a man like that.”

  “Anne.”

  “What? I'm being honest. I see your scared-shitless eyes, so I’m trying to help you understand. I don’t get jealous over women with their guys, but out there…damn.” She fans her face for a dramatic effect. “Then I thought, wait, I know this woman, and then it all comes to light, and I almost fell over.”

  “You didn’t look like you were going to fall over while rushing down the steps toward us.” I raise my eyebrow at her.

  “What can I say? I had a moment to regroup and tell myself that this god walking you down the street is Silver. This is your time to shine, Ginny.”

  “You think?”

  “I know, and now I promised him some homemade lemonade and homemade cookies.”

  “You made cookies?”

  “GINNY!”

  I put up my hands. “Right, right…I think I need help…bad.”

  Chapter Six

  Silver

  I know I hear giggling coming from the kitchen, but what it's over, I’m a little scared to find out. How did I even get here? is the question that keeps looping around in my head. Did I set myself up? Yes, I did. When my Uncle called last night to shoot the shit, AKA checking in on me, when he suggested lunch at our normal place, I changed it up before I even realized it was happening. We all live on the other side of town. The bank I manage serves the whole county but is a few miles out from here.

  When I suggested The Diner, he was surprised, but also agreed to the change. Unc was a surprise baby for my grandparents, so naturally we get along since our ages aren’t that far apart. Unc was one of two rocks for me through Tanya’s illness and passing. He forced me to keep on living and surviving, weekly lunches were a must, and he never lets me miss one.

  I didn’t tell him the real reason for the change. What would I even say to him? “Hey, I ran into the girl who starred in all my dreams when I was young, so let’s eat here and hopefully catch a glimpse. I swear it’s not stalking.”

  I know he saw me dart across the street and almost get taken out. I was very thankful when he still drove away after the spectacle I caused. If he would’ve seen how stunned Gin was and the way she was acting, he would’ve been dragging my sorry ass away, apologizing over and over again for my behavior.

  This woman is even more adorable now than when she was younger. I could tell how nervous she was and the spell I put her under. Any man would love making a woman spellbound, and I am no different. I ate up every second of her glazed-over eyes and at times could tell she was trying to shake out of it.

  Leaning back into the couch, I cross my leg and wait. Gin might think I'm cool and confident, but the longer they leave me sitting here, the more doubt creeps in. Running for the door seems like such a childish move to make, but what if I did all of this wrong today? I catch sounds coming from the kitchen every so often, but it's all muffled. They are making it hard for me to eavesdrop from the couch. Do they have no sympathy for me?

  Maybe I should’ve watched her walk by on the street and chalked up the almost encounter as a win. “Here we are, lemonade and cookies,” Anne says. Her best friend is lapping this whole situation up. She seems friendly enough and is enjoying the show. If I can get her friends on my side, how could this go wrong?

  “Thank you, everything looks great.” I make eye contact with each lady. I want both of them to feel my praise. If these are the cookies in the bags Gin was carrying, I’ll need to figure out a way for her to make more. The first bite is oh so gooey and soft, making a little moan leave my lips.

  “Good, right? Ginny is the best baker around. The only other woman to compete with her is her own mother,” Anne gloats for her friend.

  I look over to where Gin is sitting, blushing ever so hard, and raise the half-eaten cookie in the air. “This is the best cookie I've ever had.” I mean it too.

  Anne beams a smile toward her too, and I swear she recoils in her seat, trying to get further away from us. Praise seems to make her uncomfortable. Her world is about to change; I’m going to praise her to death. My hands ball up at the thought of her living a life without much praise or appreciation. It was fate, me walking out of The Diner at the same time Gin was pushing the traffic light button to cross the street.

  “The women in my family all love to bake and all bake well. Stress baking for some reason kicks the taste level up an extra notch.”

  “You are stressed?”

  “What’s wrong?”

  Anne and I ask at the same time. She must be hiding something because Anne looks as confused as me. Don’t women tell each other everything? I can’t ask, being the outsider, so I must keep my eyes and ears open. Gin has always brought out my protective instincts, hence why I walked away all those years ago.

  “Nothing.” She waves her hand around, shooing the conversation away. “I do bake for other reasons. I don’t know why I said that.”


  Did seeing me again stress her out? I’ve always been a confident man, but when it comes to this woman sitting across from me, nothing makes sense. She always had me running with my tail between my legs, even though this is the third time we’ve ever said words to one another. I never had the balls back then to approach her, and then our one encounter happened in a blink of an eye.

  The evening at the carnival always felt like a dream. No way would she ever give me the time of day, but that night, under all those stars, I thought maybe I could be enough. She left for college two days later. I watched from behind my parents’ shop as they stopped through town, picked up a few supplies, and off they went.

  The beauty I watched drive away from me had the world at her fingertips. I know women of that caliber lead different lifestyles, but I always knew she would find her own path.

  Practically jumping out of my seat brings two sets of eyes upon me, shocking both of them silent. Gin’s mouth is half open, about to say something, but everything about her is glued to my erratic behavior. “Maybe I should head out. My car is down the road. It was nice meeting you, Anne.” I slice my hand through my hair, trying to put some words together so I don’t sound like a total ass. The instant Gin’s eyes show a little sadness, I want to take it all back and sit my ass back down.

  Before I can say a word to Gin to reassure her this is all for her, Anne butts in, “Well, then I'll walk you two out.” She gives big eyes to Gin to shut her up and beckons with her hand for her to get up. “I was getting ready to head out. Thanks for the cookies and call me later.” She all but throws us down the steps.

  Gin takes one more glance at her friend’s closing door, then slices them to me; I know she’s angry. The about face and storming off confirms what I thought I saw in her eyes. If you want to ruin your only other chance at love in seconds, take some notes from me. By the end of the day, she’ll be wishing we never ran into each other couple nights ago.

  “Wait, Gin!” I all but yell, having to move my pace up to a slight jog. Dad always said give your girl some space when she’s angry. Let her walk it out and mentally beat you down, but never let her walk away. Walking away will lead her astray and right into another man’s arms.

  My phone starts ringing as we get closer to the main drag, and when I check to see who it is, Mom is flashing back at me. I slightly growl, gripping the phone a little tighter. I can feel that she knows what is going on and how badly I'm screwing up. I have a feeling Unc is to thank for this random afternoon call. Shaking my head, I shove the phone back into my pocket, picking up my pace. The gap is becoming a little too large for my liking. The poor woman probably has no idea if she’s coming or going with my craziness today. Mom will be mad, but oh well, I can only deal with one angry lady at a time.

  I know she can still feel me walking behind her. Not once has she glanced back, knowing I’m still following, and will always follow. I have enough women in my life to know how to tread carefully and love them unconditionally. And my apology game is spot on.

  I let my stride take over, and I'm on her heels in seconds. The advantages of being tall with long legs. Gotta use what the good lord gave you. “Gin…hey.” I catch her hand, lowering my tone a notch. The softer tone finally, finally has her looking back at me. Though my hand is holding hers, there is still a wide gap between us, letting her know she is still in control. I'm giving her all the power at this intersection in the heart of our town. If she can’t take me or needs time to think, again I will give her space, but I'm not conceding a loss just yet.

  I can wine and dine with the best of them, and if I become desperate, I'll call in the big guns to help me out. No one can resist my daughter; my mother and aunts are pretty pushy too. My thumb rubs soothing circles on the back of her hand, and very slowly, her shoulders relax. My hand wraps around the back of her arm. Shock hits me hard in the gut, almost bringing me to my knees. I knew we would be electric together, but damn the back of her arm lit up my whole body for the second time.

  I want to wrap both of my hands around her one, bring it to my nose and inhale her scent. Inhale so deep, her scent will never leave me, marking me from this moment to eternity. If I let the animal out completely, she would be over my shoulder and putting her clothes in my closet.

  Ridiculous? I know, but the animal inside of me is finally awake since the first time in…well…first time ever. She's always brought out a baser instinct in me. When I was younger it bothered me, and I didn’t know what to do with all the pent-up emotion. Next, he became dormant when we knew she was gone forever. He acknowledged my relationships, but was always lurking, waiting for his mate. The eternal war I fought with him over the years had me losing my mind. The feeling of restlessness has been my baseline since the first day Gin and I made eye contact.

  We can live many lives in the one lifetime we have—I know I sound like a broken record on day two—but I'm not letting her get away. The beast won’t let me. “Sorry for ruining your afternoon. I felt like I was stepping on you afternoon. Sort of panicked and said I was leaving, but never did I want to. I’m not handling any of this correctly.”

  A slight smile peeks out, and all becomes calm. “I know, I'm not sure how I feel at all. Seems the last hour or so has been a dream or a blur. I'm still trying to wrap my head around all of it.”

  Then she does the most amazing move ever known to man. She intertwines our fingers and grips soundly. Instant calmness washes over me, knowing we have always been it for each other. This road will not be an easy one by any means, but I'm always ready for war. Hopefully she is too.

  “You did make Anne’s day,” she tells me, slightly bumping into me.

  “Oh yeah?” I flirt back.

  “Absolutely, she will never let me forget this afternoon, and she’ll rub what she saw today in Claire’s face.” I begin to let a chuckle at the thought of Anne pestering Claire over this. Claire and I might not be super close, but I do know Claire likes to be in the know and number one.

  Then my world stops. Gin lets out the most girly giggle I’ve ever heard, and I want to pick her up and swing her around.

  I refrain from manhandling her and do the next best thing…sling my arm across her shoulders and laugh with her. I get this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach that Gin hasn’t laughed like this in a long time, if ever. We cross the street, and I start looking for her car, though I have no idea what she drives. Maybe I'll recognize it from the other night at the bookstore. Her car is probably top of the line, not even out yet, with all the bells and whistles.

  Seeing her working at the bookstore did send up some red flags. The thought of her being excluded from the family seems ridiculous to me, but stranger things have happened. Mixing money with any kind of relationship can bring problems. Money brings problems where you least expect it.

  But she's radiant, confident, and still put together. She’s handling whatever bumps in the road beautifully, or that’s how I'm seeing her behind my Gin-colored glasses. Not sure what color that is, but I’ve only ever seen Gin in one light, and it’s still as bright as ever.

  I sound obnoxiously sappy, and I don’t care. The walk gained me points on my man card, but the walk back erased it all. My senses are heightened and being pulled from all sides. One second, I’m in protector mode, ready for battle. The next I want to get on my knees and proclaim my feelings. Begging her not to leave me and give us a chance. Buy her flowers, write her poems, and please her in a million different ways.

  She seems to be enjoying herself, and I have no idea what to do next. Neither one of us is urging our departure, and she’s back to holding my hand, but what is etiquette here? The plan was to walk her to her car, plan for another meeting, and exchange phone numbers. The plan isn’t panning out this way, and I'm kinda doggie paddling here in deep water.

  “What are you looking for, Silver?”

  My name coming off her lips will never get old. Angels get their wings every time she whispers my name. I can feel the daydream look morphi
ng my face, and there goes my man card falling out of my back pocket. Do I really care anymore? Not one car up or down the street looks familiar. I’m at a loss on how she arrived here.

  “I wanted to walk you to your car, but I don’t see one that looks familiar from the other night.” My hand runs through my hair while I continually look up and down the road. It has to be here somewhere, right?

  “Oh,” is the only sound she makes and then does this little toe drag thingy while staring at the ground. “I kinda walk when I can…I’m not too far down the road,” she says while pointing behind me.

  Walking? Hmmm that’s interesting. She was never stuck up like the rest of the crowd, but walking when she can didn’t even cross my mind. How awful of me to assume she wouldn’t like to walk.

  “Can I walk you home?” Her big eyes get bigger with my question. “Or I'll let you go or…if you are even going home. My afternoon is open, and I just thought…”

  “That would be lovely. It's beautiful out here. I didn’t expect the question.”

  You are making the afternoon beautiful is on the tip of my tongue while she stammers over her words.

  “I can drive you back to your car after, if you’d like.” The shy tone is still there, and her eyes are grazing over me left to right without making eye contact.

  “Hmmm?” I’m torturing her, I know, but I want to hear her loud and clear. Most women I’ve ever come into contact with would never offer what Gin is offering. Most women wouldn’t be walking around town when they could drive. She’s always been my fresh of breath air. She renews my faith that there are good people still out there in this crazy ass world.

  “I said I would drive you back to your car if you want.”

  Is it too soon to ask for a sleepover? Too soon to ask to stay forever? I know those questions would scare her away, but I can’t help the thoughts. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to make happen today?