The Illegitimate Tudor

by James M Stuart

  ‘Majesty, I-’

  ‘Do you really wish to spend the rest of your life, behind your father’s cardinal-garments?’ the king asked raising his eyebrows. ‘Do you wish to be a cardinal too, Edward?’

  My heart was beating so fast that surely the king would be able to spot it bouncing across my chest. Was that an opportunity for me to sever my ties with the cardinal and start making my own fortune? Surely Campeggio could not be trusted, but the same applied to the king. Furthermore, the king was infamous for his swift change in behaviour, and people said that he could bring a man down as quickly as he raised him. But why was I there if not to take risks? ‘I wish to serve Your Majesty,’ I said eventually.

  ‘There’s an ambitious man,’ said the king smiling at me. ‘Then I’m right to believe that I can count on you to try and persuade your father to give me my annulment, am I not?’

  Now that was something different. How in God’s name was I supposed to do that? Besides I had come back to England to prevent this very outcome… ‘Naturally, Your Majesty,’ I answered stupidly.

  ‘Then I thank you in advance!’ he said and then leaned back on his throne. ‘This plague, Edward, could have killed us all, but God decided that we should not die. We should thus be even more determined in pursuing our desires. Help me achieve mine and trust me when I say, the rewards will be beyond your wildest dreams,’ he concluded and then dismissed me.

  ‘You are most gracious, Your Majesty!’ I complimented him and withdrew from the chamber.

  *

  Life at court seemed fabulous and fascinating to me in the beginning. Even though I had grown up in a mansion almost a palace itself, with servants and cooks and a master-at-arms and stable-boys and even a priest, it could not be compared with being a courtier, for there was much more splendour. The people attending the court, who were a mixture of nobles, such as dukes, lords, knights, foreign ambassadors, poets, musicians and so on, were surely hundreds upon hundreds with as many servants.

  Available service upon oneself appeared to be everywhere and ready to bring one’s desire, be it food or drink or send a message to a fellow courtier or to a lady. Incidentally, I quickly noticed that the women at court were considerably fewer than the men; that naturally created competition and a great deal of zeal.

  Moreover, the court did not stay in one place for a long period of time but was moving around the royal palaces of London, most of them being on the banks of the River Thames. There was, of course, Whitehall Palace, which seemed to be a personal favourite of the king, and then Greenish Palace, Richmond Palace, St James’s Palace, Eltham Palace and Hampton Court Palace, which was also the permanent residence of Cardinal Wolsey. The frequency of the court’s movement mostly rested upon the king’s mood, but sometimes for political or hygiene reasons. The last one being of great importance to the king, as I came to discover, for he seemed to be obsessed with cleanliness and would give severe penalties to those that did not obey to keep his royal residences in a good, clean state. Thus, one could see various servants to always do some sort of cleaning jobs around the palace or in the gardens.

  The king himself always tried to keep his courtiers busy and out of boredom, he thus organised regular sporting tournaments, such as tennis, which was one of his favourites, or archery, melee and jousting competitions; during these times, everyone seemed to be occupied and happier. Dancing feasts were also a usual affair, where one could listen to beautiful music whilst dancing or standing about and eating and drinking with friends and mistresses.

  As far as the accommodation on the palaces was concerned, I discovered that not all of the courtiers resided in the palaces, but only those highest in rank and favoured by the king. Most of the nobles though had to go to their own houses in the city or elsewhere at night. I, being an important guest with my supposed father, I had my own personal chambers which were some of the best; double lodgings with my own four-poster bed, a fireplace, a magnificent oak desk with all the equipment needed for writing and also another room which served as a garderobe with my own private shit-stool.

  And so, I had every comfort I wished for, but I tried to stay focused on my real purpose and not carried away by the lifestyle of a courtier. Sooner than later I was courted by many a woman and had forgotten all about Eleanor, which had undoubtedly returned to her brothel to do what she knew best.

  As for Belfrigh and Aeron, I visited them in the city once a week to deliver the news of the court. After I told them what promise I had made to the king, Belfrigh had slapped me in the face so hard that I fell off my stool and Aeron started shouting at me cursing me with words I had never even heard of…

  Winter was fast approaching, and the weather was becoming much colder in the city. In early November, the first snowflakes made their appearance, dusting the buildings with their whiteness. The palace in which the court resided, was always lit with fires to guard us against the cold. Moreover, the court was dismissed much earlier in the evening as the days were smaller during the winter.

  When December arrived, London was completely covered with a thin layer of snow. There were rumours that the king was planning a grand feast on Christmas Day to entertain his court and guests. It was also being whispered that he would have his mistress Anne Boleyn on his side in the feast, rather than the queen. Although his Great Matter had been stalled for a few months as preparations were underway to assemble the legatine court, he was moving forward as if not waiting for the church’s approval on the matter. That made me wonder how far he would go to acquire what he wanted…

  A few days before Christmas Day, I visited the city, looking for Eleanor whom I had seen so little since September. Indeed, I had been with other women, but strangely enough, I found myself missing her company…

  I did not find her where I had expected, and the news that she had to share with me was mostly unexpected and dare I say undesirable. Eleanor had apparently stopped whoring and was now employed in a small inn, just a couple of miles west of Whitehall Palace.

  When I entered the inn and went into the dining hall, I saw her walking around customers serving them food and ale. The place was packed with people, and she was on the other side of the room conversing with an unknown man who was grabbing her leg tightly and tracing his hand slowly up her thigh. I was enraged. I squeezed my way through the crowded tables to get to her, and when I finally did, the man had placed Eleanor on his lap. Then I stumbled upon someone’s foot and fell on the floor. The noise ceased momentarily, but then laughter proceeded.

  I stood up embarrassed and heard the man, in whose foot I had tripped, saying: ‘Am sorry, m’lord. Didn’t see ya there,’ and laughed.

  My attire was very distinguished from everyone else’s. These people were lowborn, peasants, farmers and some, I could see on the far end, soldiers off duty; I was a lord; at least from their perspective. I was dressed in a brand-new brown doublet and high boots and had covered my shoulders with a thick fur to protect me from the cold. My hair was brushed at the back and tied up in a small knot, whilst my beard was short and carefully trimmed. I was also perfumed with rose water.

  The man who was harassing Eleanor spotted me and shooed her away from his lap. Eleanor saw me and hurried to cover herself in embarrassment. ‘M’lord, how may I be of service?’ the man asked me politely, inclining his head slightly. He was middle-aged, with a dirty grey beard and hair; he was wearing a filthy shirt that reeked of sweat and smoke.

  I looked at him scandalised; then I realised that this man was either mocking me or really believed that I was a lord. Judging by his discomfort, I guessed it was the latter. ‘Yes, I wish to know why you’re being a nuisance to this young lady here,’ I said in my most serious tone. Eleanor seemed to have swallowed a rock, but she was as beautiful as ever, although her new outfit did not suit her at all I would say. She wore an ugly grey dress with a revealing bust, which was stained in many places. Her unwashed hair was messily tied up and a dirty hat was covering most of it.

  ‘Eh, m�
�lord, she’s me woman,’ the man claimed. ‘Am the innkeeper ‘ere,’ he said his eyes never meeting mine. He was staring intimidated on my waist where my longsword Defier was resting in its scabbard.

  ‘The innkeeper, are you?’ I asked ignoring the first part of his statement which had left me utterly bemused. Now the room was in total silence, everyone was gawping at me.

  ‘Aye, m’lord! Would you be wanting a room to spend the night? We’re quite full this time of the year but am sure I’d find you something if you’d asked,’ the man answered, his breath stinking of ale.

  I looked at him repulsively. ‘No, that won’t be necessary. I merely require a few words with your ehm… woman.’

  ‘You know ‘er, m’lord? D’you want ‘er. I could give ‘er to you for a fair price,’ the innkeeper said, clearly excited by that prospect.

  ‘What did you say?’ I enquired incredulously. ‘And what is your woman to give away for coin, you filth? A sack of grain? Or some slave?’ I yelled at him.

  ‘No kind sir!’ the man said shrinking in fear. ‘I meant no offence!’

  Then I turned towards Eleanor and showed her the exit.

  On the way out, I heard the innkeeper saying out loud: ‘He may keep ‘er, ain’t worth much to me. She’s used, you see.’ Everyone laughed on top of their voices. Eleanor’s head dropped in shame.

  Without further ado, I unsheathed my sword and went back to confront the bastard who had dared insult a woman in such a despicable way. All men withdrew towards the walls, only the soldiers responded manly and withdrew their swords.

  ‘I would kill you here and now, you piece of shit, to teach you how to treat a woman, but you ain’t worth much to me,’ I said through greeted teeth. I felt my blood rising, and my face was flustered as I pressed the tip of Defier under his chin. Trickles of blood were already visible, and the man had his eyes shut waiting for the blow. Then unexpectedly, I withdrew my sword, sheathed it and then punched him with a gloved hand, breaking his nose.

  ‘I charge you responsible for the behaviour of such wretches like him,’ I shouted in the direction of the soldiers. ‘I am Eduardo Campeggio, son of Cardinal Lorenzo Campeggio and believe me I sit close to the king. One whisper on his royal person and by God’s blood, I swear you’re all dead men.’ I approached them, they were four of them, dressed in the red uniforms of the guards, the Tudor Rose on their chest. ‘You’re supposed to keep the king’s peace and protect the women and the innocent.’ One of them was ready to protest, and then I added, ‘Even off duty, soldier.’

  ‘Yes, m’lord!’ they all replied in unison. Then I departed leaving everyone transfixed.

  Out in the snowy backyard, Eleanor was shivering, both from shame and from the cold. I took out my furred cloak and placed it upon her shoulders, then hugged her tightly. She cried as I had never seen her cry before, her whole body shaking against mine for what seemed an hour.

  ‘Let’s get you away from here, go somewhere warm,’ I encouraged her after her spasms seemed to have finally ceased.

  ‘N-no!’ she stuttered and took a step backwards, wiping her nose on her already dirty sleeve. ‘No, Edward!’ she repeated. ‘You’re too late! I’m with another man now. I’m to be married soon.’ She pulled my fur closer to her chest. She was still breathing heavily and was making clouds in the cold air.

  ‘To that wretched man?’

  ‘At least I have a home and a dignified job. I’m not a prostitute anymore,’ she said. Her eyes were beautifully green as ever; her lips, though, were white and cracked.

  ‘He treats you as such!’ I countered.

  ‘And what would you have me do, m’lord?’ she asked mockingly. ‘You’ve been away in His Majesty’s royal palaces, hunting and drinking and… humping no doubt.’

  ‘I’ve got a plan in motion, Eleanor,’ I said without denying what she had said. ‘I’m very close to the king now and-’

  ‘And what? What do you wish to accomplish? Depose him and take his place? Kill him?’ She extended her hands in exasperation. ‘Why don’t you just admit that you’re enjoying your current life. You’ve probably forgotten all about your family, you greedy bastard… You-’

  But she stopped talking, for I had come very close to her and surely, she could feel that she had gone a step too far. My rage was incomparable, and I wanted to leave and abandon her to her fate. Instead, I kissed her on the mouth and she responded immediately, kissing me back passionately. There was an inexplicable attraction between us.

  After a few seconds, she broke off and asked: ‘What now?’

  ‘Now, you’re coming with me!’

  *

  Back at court, the tension was rising between the nobles, for there were many that supported Queen Catherine and found King Henry’s attempt to annul their marriage capricious. No one dared to speak their mind, though. As for myself, I was divided in both heart and mind. The king had charged me to influence Cardinal Campeggio’s decision in his favour in the promise of great rewards. However, I was sworn to avenge my family, and if indeed the king was responsible for their massacre, then I was actively aiding their murderer. Although, it was becoming increasingly clear to me that opposing King Henry was not the wisest thing a man could do, for, in that case, his head was in danger…

  As the legatine court was approaching, Cardinal Wolsey’s attempts to convince Cardinal Campeggio to provide the king with what he desired became even more intense in the coming months. Wolsey seemed desperate for the King’s Great Matter to be resolved, as though his own future was depending on it. Indeed, it was obvious to me, and to those others that possessed the virtue of observation, that the more power Anne Boleyn and her family gained, the weaker Wolsey became, and at Christmas of 1528 Wolsey’s position was standing in the balance.

  The king’s household had prepared a magnificent feast for the Christmas festivities and had even allowed his courtiers to bring guests, even people who would not have usually been allowed to court, with the prerequisite that they would dress and behave appropriately. Naturally, my guests were Aeron and Belfrigh. I did not count Eleanor as a guest, as she was now practically sharing my lodgings at court for the past month or so; something that I had to pay dearly in bribes for the guards, servants or otherwise to turn a blind eye and not report me to the king.

  The Christmas Day celebrations would take place in Whitehall Palace for. The great hall was transformed with extravagant decorations to promote the king’s splendour and indifference to expenses. Meanwhile, I could swear that many ordinary folks outside of the palace were starving and freezing to death. For this is the world in which we live in, an unfair and cruel world, where those lucky enough to be born nobles, or otherwise rich, feast in greatness and warm their skins in furs and sitting next to blazing fireplaces, and the others, the mortal ones, are doomed to utter misery…

  The moment that I stepped my foot in that magnificent hall, with the hundreds of privileged people and their food that could feed the whole country, I had loathing in my heart and a desire to kill those hypocrites who ruled the country. Despite the comforts I had been given the last few months, my feeling had not changed, for every feast was a reminder of the hardships I had endured because of men like these …

  Eleanor, who stood on my side holding my hand and wearing a splendid silver-green dress that matched her green eyes and complimented her red hair, must have felt my anger; she squeezed my hand showing thus her support. I had taken her as my mistress and intended to marry her as soon as time deemed it feasible. Hence, I wore a green doublet myself to match her own dress and indicate our coupling.

  Behind me, Aeron and Belfrigh also looked at their best. Aeron wore a red doublet with matching trousers and black boots, whilst he had slightly cut his long ginger hair and had shaved off his beard, which made him look five years younger. Belfrigh, on the other hand, looked rougher. He had made a poor attempt to tame his usually wild long grey hair with a ponytail tie, whilst his grey beard was longer as ever; he wore a blue doublet w
ith black trousers and brown boots. Where they had both found the coin for such delicate and expensive looking clothing, I did not know…

  The hall was arranged in big long tables that were already full of hundreds of dishes of what seemed all the different kinds of food in the world. People were seated according to their ranking and their station of nobility. The closest one was to the king’s person the more important they were.

  The king’s table was the shortest, was placed at the far end of the room and was slightly elevated so it could oversee all the rest; only the most privileged ones were granted a seat there. On that night, I was one of them. There were also the musicians, who were there to entertain us all with their inspiring music, playing various instruments, such as the viol, harp, lute and citole; all producing the most pleasant sounds that anyone could expect on a night like this.

  I kissed Eleanor discreetly on the cheek and promised to see her shortly, then I neared the king’s table, whilst the others took their seats far away. There was a long queue ahead of me. Nobles and courtiers alike were presenting the king with their Christmas gifts.

  ‘Your Majesty! With all my heart, I wish you Happy Christmas!’ I said once at the dais under the king’s high-table and bowed my head respectfully. The king’s garments were purple that night, with a golden chain around his neck. His fingers were dressed in gold and silver rings; upon his head, as ever in official ceremonies and grant feasts, rested the crown of the King of England.

  ‘And to you, Edward!’ King Henry said with a smile that seemed somewhat forced. Sooner than later I discovered the reason. There, on his right-hand side was none other than his wife Queen Catherine, who was still required to attend such significant events. It was the first time I had seen her from such proximity. She was older than King Henry, folk said that she was past her fortieth birthday and even if the king wanted to bed her, she could not produce other children for she did not bleed anymore.