Souled Out

by Blakely Chorpenning

  “Who, guys?”

  He shook his head.

  “Oh, I just thought it was my natural charm.” When I noticed he was serious, I added, “Edmont said it was some kind of loyalty or infatuation.”

  Seth appeared more sullen. Or was that more defeated? With a ring of honesty he said, “It’s not an infatuation.”

  “Well it sure as hell isn’t love. So why are we talking about this?”

  He hesitated. I watched his shadowed face, making out the stress around his eyes and mouth. Suddenly, the tension vanished when he said, “Because I really like you. I don’t want anything more to happen between us if you figure out you like him more. I’d rather know now. I’m dead, but my heart and brain still work, and I try not to make the same mistakes twice.”

  A whisper slipped from my lips. “Elsie.” When he was talking, it had jogged emotions from his reading. All I could gather was that name and the feeling that it meant something broken and desolate to Seth. I couldn’t remember more, but wished I could take back saying it out loud.

  His eyes widened. “What did you say?”

  My tongue stumbled, sputtering, “All this! All this is overwhelming.”

  Releasing a huge sigh, he said, “Tell me about it.” He leaned back in the seat, turning his attention back to the road. The tension at the thought of hearing her name evaporated, although I suspected it was still there, buried deep.

  Tell me about it. On top of everything else, I didn’t have the guts to tell him I was remembering his personal secrets. I just wasn’t sure what to do about it yet, but it would have to wait. There was already too much to think about at the moment, like what to do about Gabriel and Seth, and my sister’s vendetta, and this whole gnarly mess.

  Suddenly, I’d grown very tired. If I wasn’t so busy saving my world from collapsing, I think staying in bed for fifty years would have been the ticket. And the more energy I lost, the more my world was looking less and less meaningful. Was it really worth the fight? I guess I answered that question when I dug out of my grave. But it was becoming harder and harder to care at the moment. I felt cold, distanced from everything. No, not from Seth. Confused and oddly misplaced, but not distanced.

  The car hummed and Seth drove. We were content to sit in silence. I think he wanted to just “be” for a little longer without hearing my answer concerning Gabriel. Truthfully, I didn’t have one.

  My thoughts looped for an hour or so until I couldn’t think anymore. Every worry played in my mind with numerous outcomes. Hideous outcomes. I leaned my head against the chill of the window and stared up at the stars. Make a wish. Could I cheat and cram every bit of hope into one wish? Before I could find out, my weariness finally revolted and my eyelids refused to open. The pain in my body disintegrated as the darkness grew and cradled a dreamless sleep.

  I couldn’t hear Seth, but his presence reached over the bounds and divides to comfort me. I let go of everything for a little while as we cut through the night air. We didn’t know where we stood with each other, but it was okay. At the moment, we both just wanted to exist in our little bubble and let go of everything else, even if it was only temporary.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Is she gonna wake up soon? Don’t look at me like that. I was just asking.” The voice was tiny but fervent.

  “Girl, you best leave her be,” said a wizened voice, not by age, but experience.

  “What happened to her? She’s all broken.”

  “She ain’t broken. Just knocked around.”

  “She’s not having a baby, Momma. She’s not fat.”

  “Knocked around, not up. There’s a big difference. She’s not pregnant—I pray, anyway. She’s been beat pretty bad. Worse than I ever seen, but she’ll heal.”

  “Oh.”

  “Now, come on. Let her rest.”

  “Momma!”

  “Hush. Come now.”

  I heard little feet stomp a short distance before a door oomphed shut. I was awake. At first I thought it was a dream. When the voices grew faint, I pried my eyes open. The room was dark, but there was a tiny plug-in air freshener that doubled as a nightlight.

  The room must have only been ten by twelve. The walls were a dark wood, barren of decorations. The floor was a lighter, more battered wood that I could tell had been walked on for many more years than I’d been alive.

  The mattress I laid on took up a good amount of space, but there was a cot only a few feet away, which still left a bit of walking space through the room. Seth was tucked away, snug as a bug. I hadn’t worked up the strength to pull the heavy comforter to the side enough to sit up. It was nice, smelling of fresh summer rain and strawberries. I think my mom used a similar detergent. The smell instantly soothed me. Enough to stay put, anyway. Also, I was scared that too much movement would draw the attention of the little girl and I would be bombarded, which I was not in the mood for.

  It seemed we were in good hands. I didn’t know these people, but Seth felt comfortable enough to pass out for the day so it was undoubtedly safe. I didn’t venture his way, either. I kept my distance and snuggled back into the mattress.

  I must have slept a while because, the next time I opened my eyes, Seth’s cot was empty. It would have been a good idea to tie a bell around his neck to keep track of him. Remembering the strangers earlier didn’t make me enthusiastic at the prospect of exploring.

  Before I was able to think up a bunch of terrible things that could have happened to Seth, he opened the large, wooden door and entered the room. Thankfully, he closed it behind him. I heard muffled footsteps looming close to our room, but not too close.

  “What time is it?”

  “Not quite midnight.” He sat on the edge of the bed.

  Rubbing the hair out of my face, I asked, “I slept another whole day?”

  “Yep.”

  “Great. Where are we, The Place Like No Other?”

  “Yep.”

  “Have you been up long?”

  “About an hour and a half.”

  “Who’s outside?”

  “Lucy, Paula’s daughter. You’ll meet her soon.”

  “I heard them earlier. So, they do this a lot? Harbor wanted vampires and Cyphers?”

  “I think you’re their first Cypher, but I’ve been here before. Paula is really nice and Lucy is enthusiastic, but also very cute. She’s five and probably smarter than most university professors.”

  “So what makes you think the other vamps don’t know we’re here?”

  “Full of questions tonight, aren’t you? Paula doesn’t and has never worked for the Members and the Mass will never come here because she’s given them no reason. Pinky swear. Now, do you want to meet Lucy?”

  “Why is she up so late?”

  “She’s been waiting all day to meet you. Paula barely kept her from waking you, like, a thousand times today.” He stretched out across the bed, sinking sideways into the overstuffed comforter. “Are you going to grant her wish?”

  “In a little while. Have you heard from Gabriel?”

  He was reluctant to tell me that he hadn’t.

  “Just great.”

  “Stop freaking out. I’m sure we’ll hear from Romeo soon enough.”

  I didn’t want to get right back into the bad vibes with Seth. Not again. “Look, Seth, I like Gabriel, but I think I like you more. Is that good enough, or are you going to act like a punk bitch all night?”

  Overwhelmed with a cocky grin, Seth scooted closer. “That was the sweetest thing I’ve heard in a long time.”

  I pushed his face away with the palm of my hand and laid my head down on the bed, all eyes for him, of course. His smile was so intoxicating I couldn’t look away if someone had bet me all the good luck on the planet. Sappy? Yes. True? Yes.

  He put his arm over me and gently rested his head on the top of mine, minding not to cause pain to any of the booboos. We stayed like that for countless minutes.

  All too soon, Seth moved away and rested on his back. “He
’ll contact us.”

  Oh, now he was being nice. There must be a rule somewhere: after cuddling, one must absolve one’s companion of all worries.

  “I don’t think you know what the hell’s going on.”

  “You didn’t have to call me out.” He rose up, leaning on his forearms, and gave me a fake don’t-make-me-cry look. “I’m trying my best. What more do you want from me?”

  “Don’t be so damned whiny and cute.” Did I really say that out loud?

  You know what? I deserved it. Why couldn’t I flirt and have a boyfriend if I felt like it? I wanted to experience the better things in life even if it was with a dead guy. A luscious dead guy who was winking at me.

  He scooted closer, leaving his face about three inches away from mine. “Ell, what are you thinking about so hard?”

  “What a pain in the ass you are. And how nice this comforter would look around your naked body.”

  That took him totally by surprise, and I loved it. Before he had a chance to rebuttal, I closed the three inches and kissed him. Wow! Why had I shunned off boys for so long? Okay, we all knew the answer. Just any guy was just that: some random guy. Seth was not someone to pass by. Regretfully, we didn’t have much time to get closer.

  “Whoa! What are you guys doing? That’s gross!”

  We immediately stopped and turned to find little Lucy standing in the doorway with a scrunchie expression that made her look like she had just eaten sour candy. She was a string-bean of a little girl with silk mocha skin. Her face was round as the moon with large dark brown eyes and lips that would drive the men wild when she grew up. All of her Shirley Temple curls were drawn into one clip close to the top of her head allowing them to jet straight for the sky, a few falling to the side.

  Seth sat up, but not as fast as I did. Not thinking before moving, my muscles jolted and cramped up. Still bruised and battered. Forgot about that for a few minutes. Jeez, I wonder why?

  “So, you’re Lucy.”

  Her grossed-out expression was instantly an amazing smile. “I am. Lucy Abigail Brockhearte. And you’re The Cypher.”

  “I am.”

  “I know you are. That’s what I just said.” Overzealous little bugger. “Why do you look like that?”

  I followed her finger down to the bruises on my arms and watched her little hand travel back through the air until she was barely grazing my cheek with the tip of her finger. “My sister and I aren’t getting along right now.”

  “I’m glad I don’t have a sister. Why are you mad at each other?”

  What could I say? Instead of trying, I raised my eyebrows and shrugged, deciding to change the subject. “Do you have any brothers?”

  Her little eyes grew large. “One,” she whispered.

  Seth hopped off the bed and squatted so he was almost at Lucy’s level. He smiled and she immediately lit up.

  “I want to know what it’s like to be the Cypher,” she said.

  Lucy and Seth turned their gazes on me. Lucy was determined, while Seth actually looked like it would break his heart to tell her she had to leave. So reluctantly, I answered her question. “It’s confusing. It makes me feel good when I can help people become who their souls want to be. But it makes me feel bad when those people don’t want to be who their souls want them to be.”

  She contemplated my words for a few moments and opened her mouth. “Do you get good insurance?”

  It was so unexpected I laughed. “Insurance?”

  “Yeah! You should have doctor insurance.”

  I hesitated. Having a five-year-old call attention to the fact that I looked worse than road kill had a tendency to make me feel a wee bit self-conscious. “Yeah, I have insurance.”

  “Oh, good. You’ll be fine.” She looked relieved.

  Seth recaptured her attention and asked, “Can I show her around now?”

  “No, I want to.”

  She didn’t wait for me to scoot off the bed before bounding out the door, rounding the corner, and yelling, “Come on!”

  I dodged the small mirror in the bedroom. Even though everything felt more like me and less distorted, I was still scared to look, thinking it would be worse than I remembered. And from Lucy’s reaction, I knew I was still an eyesore.

  The three of us walked through the long, planked hallway into a small kitchen. It was white and yellow and had everything a kitchen could ever want down to the chicken-themed eggbeater and hand-twist can opener hanging on hooks next to the handmade potholders by the sink. The mess on the counter and smell of pumpkin pie swelling the air left me searching for the woman I’d heard earlier.

  Seth held his hand out. “Paula’s outside.” Hand in hand, we walked out behind Lucy.

  I looked back to see the exterior of the log cabin. It was small but complex. Just from the outside I could tell there were many nooks and crannies. Some were never meant to see the light of day, I suspected. The entire home was a little surreal under the evening sky with rampant vines and colorful flowers muted in shadowy tones. The flowers resembled dancing ballerinas. I think they would have been purple in the sun.

  Lucy ran past her mother to stand on the edge of a large pond.

  Paula yelled, “Don’t get too close,” and turned to smile in our direction. “She loves the water.”

  I smiled back. “She’s a swimmer?”

  “No.” Her voice was final as she set the large woven basket down and walked over. “I’m Paula. It’s real nice to have you here.” She was thin, wearing a loose, faded yellow dress that hung to her ankles. Her hair was tied in a bun, but the light brown and blond waves fought back. She had a russet complexion, though it was hard to distinguish if it was natural or tanned. Paula could have passed for a light-skinned black woman or a dark-skinned white woman. As she moved closer, I could see the sun’s effects around her eyes, her brow. She was young and old alike. There was something stunning about her chameleon appearance.

  “Thank you for allowing us to stay here with your family.”

  “Don’t be so formal. Seth’s an old friend. We’d like to see him more around here.” There was no sense of longing or history between them other than friendship, which eased the slight jealousy that had momentarily stirred.

  Lucy made a small noise that caught our attention.

  Paula gasped when she saw her daughter walking across a freshly fallen tree over the water. She and Seth began running towards the girl. Paula screamed, “Get away from it, baby!”

  Seth was already at the water’s edge but did nothing, horrified. Through my own stride, I saw why. The grip on the bottom of her shoes gave out from under her. When I blinked again, the silhouette of the little girl was replaced with a splash.

  Paula screamed, “No!” It was guttural, a wildness not heard since Man’s first footprint on the world. The edge of the pond failed to contain her as she flew past Seth, stopping in the middle of the tree.

  “Paula, step back!” Seth yelled. The authority in his voice surprised me.

  Not understanding why someone hadn’t jumped in after her, I changed my path. I veered from Seth and Paula, swerving left. As Paula returned to solid ground, Seth wrenching her body by her hand, they only had time to turn their heads and watch as my airborn body hit and disappeared beneath the dark, stream-fed water.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  I expected to be swimming blindly through muck, my own panic brimming until we both succumbed to the cold nothingness. I was ready to swim as fast and deep as I ever had in my life, searching with my limbs and senses for that cute little girl until I could wrap around her and set her in her mother’s arms.

  When I opened my eyes, ready to acclimate to this eerie world, I almost lost my breath. Between the darkness, unidentifiable balls of light surrounded me like stars. A few were motionless while others streaked by so fast they left glowing trails. And then something frighteningly new emerged: translucent people floating ubiquitously. At first, only one or two floated out of the obscure abyss. Then more came, arms
outstretched, wanting to touch me but stopping short. Some were whole, while others appeared from the waist up, some even missing the left or right side of their bodies.

  I didn’t understand what was going on. Were they ghosts? Did they wish to harm me? As I swam, it was clear they were following. Trying to fight back the hysteria growing within, I used their unnatural light to search for Lucy. I swam past them, between them, and through them.

  I decided to search outward for Lucy’s soul. It was my last option and only hope. Too much time was passing. We would both die very soon without oxygen.

  Slowing my arms and legs, I floated limply, giving every bit of energy to her soul. But what met me was the horror that hers was one in a tub of thousands. One of the closest diaphanous faces hit me before getting sucked into my chest. My scream tried to cut the water as I pushed the thing back out. Swimming backward, another filled the void. After countless attempts, I had to stop the search. Thankfully I hadn’t read any of them and didn’t want to without knowing what they were.

  Precious seconds passed. My lungs burned. The souls watched, studying every move. Maybe even my every thought. And finally they gave way to a concrete figure. I swam over and found Lucy alive, tugging her clothes free from the half-forms. They grabbed at her, pulled her clothes and hair, trying to dig their malleable fingers into her flesh. The shimmering forms were only successful when Lucy’s own skin wavered between shimmery and solid. She was being attacked and they were winning.

  When I swam to her, I could see her mouth open, frozen with fright. I opened my hand and she filled it with a tight grip. The attack stopped as soon as I pulled her to my chest, as if they were afraid to challenge me for her. But that fueled a frenzy. The balls of light swam more rapidly and daringly close. The beings circled us like sharks, waiting for any opportunity to steal Lucy from my arms.

  We were about twenty feet under, which doesn’t sound like much until you’re on the bottom looking up. I swam with one hand and held her with the other, making certain not to loosen my grip. In the peculiarity of the mute water, I made a promise not to emerge without her.