Lady of Providence

by St. Clair, Ellie

  And, as ridiculous as it was, she was angry that Gabriel hadn’t come to her defense in the meeting. Oh, she knew what it would look like if he had—that he was defending her because there was something between the two of them, or he was trying to win her affections. But at some point she had needed someone to stand up for her, to show her that she wasn’t alone.

  She whirled around now, aching to take it all out on him, to tell him how angry she was, how upset she was, but she couldn’t. Don’t show any emotion, Elizabeth, said the voice in her head, which for so long had been her mother’s, but was now her own counseling her. It will only portray your weakness.

  So instead she stood there, trembling within, her jaw set tightly and her hands in fists by her side.

  Gabriel stood by the door, staring at her. Finally he turned, and she thought he was blessedly leaving, but instead, he shut the door and turned around, leaning back against it with his arms crossed.

  “Let it out,” he said, his voice commanding.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “All that you’re feeling—let it out. Tell me what you are thinking. Be angry. Let the emotion flow. For God’s sake, do something besides standing there looking at me as though I am speaking nonsense!”

  “If you don’t like it,” she said, the words clipped, “then you are more than welcome to leave. In fact, I would prefer that you did.”

  “Is that what you want, Elizabeth? To be alone? To never have to rely on anyone else so you can say that you did it all by yourself?”

  Elizabeth felt her ire rising, but she knew he was doing this on purpose, trying to goad her into saying something she shouldn’t.

  “That has nothing to do with anything,” she responded. “You had your opportunity to rescue me if that’s what you wanted to do so badly. You could have ridden your white horse into that meeting with your shiny suit of armor and told the rest of them, ‘I agree with Lady Elizabeth. As a duke, I have seen the way she has consulted with the nobility, drawing them in as potential clients. I have full faith in her abilities.’ But no. You arrived late, disrupting me, and then you simply sat there and allowed Henry to sway the rest of them in his direction.”

  Gabriel stared at her for a moment.

  “Do you have no faith in your own abilities?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “You didn’t need me to do that for you, for you did it yourself. There are times when you need help, need someone to lean on, and then there are times in which you must show strength. Which you did in there.”

  He paused now, and Elizabeth could say nothing, for she could feel her chest rising and falling rapidly as she struggled to hold back the tears that threatened.

  “I have to apologize,” he continued.

  Well, this would be interesting. Gabriel never, ever apologized.

  “Go on.”

  “When you first took over this senior partnership, I came in here and I questioned your abilities. That wasn’t right of me to do. For I knew you were able to take on the position your grandfather had left to you. I was simply pushing you to make sure that you believed the same. I knew that you would want to prove yourself if I questioned you, and so I pushed.”

  Elizabeth’s expressionless wall finally broke, and she could only chuckle at Gabriel’s words, though he now looked at her as though she were slightly crazy.

  “You find that funny?”

  “I should have known better,” she said, turning around and beginning a slow pace of the room, looking down at one foot moving forward, and then the other. “You are a master manipulator. Nothing you do is ever straightforward. Even now, how am I to know that what you say to me is the truth? Perhaps you are being honest. Perhaps you’re not. Perhaps this is all part of some new game that you are playing to pass the time, to keep from boredom. How am I to know?”

  “I would never manipulate you, Elizabeth,” he said quietly.

  “No?” she asked, rounding on him, flinging her hands widely. “Did you or did you not manipulate Julia and Eddie?”

  “I wasn’t manipulating anyone,” he defended himself as he remained standing stoically. “All I did was feign interest in order for them to realize how important it was that they find one another.”

  “But you were lying.”

  “I wasn’t lying—”

  “Were you being honest?”

  “Not quite.”

  “And with Phoebe’s newspaper, did you not play a game in order to ensure she would be able to keep her secret?”

  “That, I am proud of,” he said, his expression hardening. “Are you questioning the actions I took—in concert with Berkley—which ended in your friend finding happiness?”

  “I am not questioning the action,” Elizabeth said, exasperated that he was completely missing her point. “I am only proving how much you enjoy these games, using people as pawns in order to find the result you are looking for. It doesn’t matter that your end goal is a noble one, don’t tell me you do not enjoy this type of deception.”

  “What I enjoy, Elizabeth, is using my position to help others find what they are looking for. For that, I will not apologize.”

  “Of course,” she said, shaking her head. “There’s something else.”

  “Yes?”

  “What happens… what happens when you no longer want only me?”

  “Elizabeth,” he said, his voice suddenly harsh. “You are not like any other woman. I could never be bored of you.”

  Elizabeth swallowed. She wanted to believe him, truly she did, but she just didn’t know any longer what to think. She was hit with sudden exhaustion as it all seemed to be raining down upon her at once. She allowed herself to fall back into one of the chairs that surrounded the small conversation table in the corner as she placed her head in her hands.

  “I don’t know what to think anymore, Gabriel,” she said, her voice low, just over a whisper, and he walked over to the chair across from her, likely to better hear her than anything else. “All I know is that I don’t want to spend my life questioning every word you say to me, wondering if it is all part of some ploy. I want honesty, straightforwardness. I have enough deception here at the bank. I want to be able to trust you.”

  Gabriel reached across the table and took her hands in his. “You can trust me, Elizabeth. That, I can promise you.”

  She roamed her eyes over his face, taking in the strong jaw, the patrician nose, the deep blue of his irises. If only she could see what was behind it all, to peer into the depths of his mind and understand him. He was intelligent, sure—more so than any other man she had ever met. She knew it intimidated many, for he always seemed to be able to read through the words of others to come to the proper conclusion. She liked that about him. She always knew she could converse with him and not have to explain herself.

  But it also scared her. For she could hide nothing from him, while he seemed to have perfected the facade that kept everything from her.

  “What do you want, Elizabeth?” he asked, far more gently now, to the point that his words nearly brought tears to her eyes.

  “I’m tired,” she said, her voice nearly a whisper. “I’m tired of fighting for everything. I’m tired of not knowing if anything I am doing is ever going to come to anything. I’m tired of having to prove myself simply because I’m a woman. And I’m tired of my own indecision when it comes to you.”

  He stood then, stepping over toward her, his hard thighs beneath his tan breeches filling her vision. Then before she even knew what he was doing, he picked her up as he had the night at his manor, holding her close against him. But instead of any suggestion of passion, he turned around, sat back in the chair she had just unwillingly vacated, and held her close against him. His chin came to rest on the top of her head, and he simply held her.

  “No one can do anything alone, Elizabeth,” he said in a low voice, as she unconsciously clutched at his shirt, drawing strength from him.

  “You do,” she said, hearing her own voi
ce so small and vulnerable.

  “It may look that way,” he conceded, “But that is not necessarily true. I have many people working for me—people who care for my households, my estates, my business matters. Do I oversee it? Yes, of course, I do. It helps, though, to know that you can offload some of the work.”

  “You still retain that responsibility as though it is of no consequence.”

  “It may seem that way, but it is not entirely the case,” he said, and she could feel his smile upon her hair. “I lean on others just as I ask you to lean on me. Ask Berkley how many times I have come to him with my complaints. Even my mother… she may be slightly sickly, but she was a great source of wisdom and comfort for my father, and she remains so for me.”

  “I didn’t know that,” Elizabeth said. “When I met her those years ago, she seemed so… reserved.”

  “She is, typically,” he said, his voice warmer now than Elizabeth thought she had ever heard it. “When she has something important to say to someone she loves, however, she is not afraid to express her opinion. Similar to another woman I know.”

  “Are you referring to me?”

  “I am. You know how to make a statement without resorting to emotion that will color others’ responses toward it. I admire that about you.”

  “My mother always told me that emotion was a weakness.”

  “It can be. It can also be a strength.”

  “That is rather perplexing.”

  “Decisions and actions based on intellect alone may seem like the right choice, but in the end, they can lead to heartache—for you, or for others. Sometimes emotion is necessary when dealing with other people, for it is the only way you will know if you are making the right choice.”

  “Just when did you become so wise?”

  “It’s taken a few years,” he said with a low chuckle. “It’s also included a good deal of life experience, and learning lessons the hard way.”

  “That, I can understand,” she said, sitting up now on his lap, knowing she had to begin to take action to do what was best for herself, and for this bank. “Thank you, Gabriel. And I am sorry, for my words against you earlier.”

  “It’s not as though I am completely blameless,” he said as she stood and he followed suit, his hands behind his back. He remained motionless, saying nothing for a moment, and despite the closeness they had just experienced together, Elizabeth felt some underlying tension in the air, and she knew the cause of it. He still needed his answer. He was waiting, somewhat patiently, but he would want to know sooner rather than later. She needed just a little more time.

  “Can we speak further tomorrow?” she asked, looking up at him with some pleading in her eyes, and he nodded at her, clearly fully aware of what she spoke.

  “Of course,” he said. “I look forward to it.”

  “Thank you, Gabriel,” she said, her voice nearly breaking, though she managed to retain a hold of it. “Thank you very much.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Gabriel left the bank with a slight bit of weight lifted from his shoulders. Elizabeth would come around—he was sure of it. In the moments when she had allowed him in, he could see how much it helped her to have someone there with her—someone to talk to, with whom she could share her burdens. On the surface, she was calm, reserved—some would say cold. But he knew better. Gabriel knew the fire that was inside of her, which she needed to learn how to release. It bothered him that she thought she could ever bore him, for that was far from what could ever be true. He just didn’t know how to make her see that.

  As Gabriel walked toward his waiting carriage, he saw Henry Clarke standing with another of the partners, sharing a laugh. Oh, what Gabriel wouldn’t give to tell the little fool exactly what he thought. But there were far better ways to deal with someone such as Henry.

  “Clarke!” he called out, passing by the man, who seemed somewhat pleased to see Gabriel. “Good to see you once again.”

  “And you, your grace,” Clarke said with a satisfied smile, pleased that Gabriel was acknowledging him amongst peers.

  “Say,” Gabriel said slowly, knowing Clarke’s preference for certain establishments within London, “I don’t suppose you have been to The Red Dragon lately?”

  “Ah,” Clarke said, his cheeks turning slightly red as he stepped away from the other man and closer to Gabriel. “Why do you ask?”

  “Only because I had heard a rumor about the place that I was hoping to dispel—or to warn you about.”

  “Oh?” Clarke’s eyes darted back and forth rapidly at Gabriel’s words.

  “It’s been said there is a disease spreading from within, so I wanted to caution all of my friends to avoid the place—for the time being, anyway. If you do go, stay away from the blonde.” He lowered his voice conspiratorially and leaned in toward Clarke as though he were sharing a secret. “I’ve heard she was with a man who was the initial source. They say once the itch begins, it’s impossible to be rid of.”

  He straightened now, smiling at Clarke, who was standing still with a bead of sweat beginning to drip down his forehead. Gabriel placed a hand on his shoulder. “I know it’s not something of which we gentlemen normally speak, but I did wish to warn you. Well, good day to you Clarke. I hope to see you again soon!”

  Gabriel permitted the smile to cross his face once he turned, and he chuckled to himself all the way to his carriage.

  *

  For once, Elizabeth left the bank early, and when she returned home, instead of ensconcing herself in the study, she decided a bit of fresh air might be helpful to clear her mind. The house had a small garden in the back, well enough away from the mews. It wasn’t overly large, but her grandmother had always ensured the gardener kept it in beautiful condition, and especially with the green leaves budding on the trees and the flowers beginning to bloom, Elizabeth had always found it a particularly peaceful place.

  She let herself out the garden doors, settling herself on the small bench, breathing in the scent of her grandmother’s roses around her, appreciating the beauty of the red petals. Gabriel was right about one thing—she had allowed the responsibility of the bank to rest far too heavily on her shoulders. She was taking on this position because she enjoyed it, not because she wanted further burden within her life.

  If only her cousin would leave her be. Why he cared so strongly about seeing to her downfall, she had no idea. Was it the money? If so, perhaps she could pay him off. She knew, however, it was likely more than that. It was his pride, and jealousy that she had received what he somehow felt was rightfully his, despite the fact that her grandfather had never promised Henry a thing.

  She closed her eyes as she tilted her head back to feel the sun upon her face, but started when she heard the door opening. She smiled as she opened her eyes, expecting to see her grandmother, but her countenance turned to one of great disappointment when she saw exactly who it was.

  “Henry,” she said warily. “Have we not already traded enough barbs today? I would ask that you give me an afternoon of peace and then we can resume them another day.”

  “Oh, Elizabeth,” he said with feigned affection. “I certainly do not wish to fight with you. I am only trying to help.”

  “If that is the case, then I kindly ask that you bestow your assistance upon someone else,” she said. “I have no need of it.”

  “You require far more help than you realize,” he said, coming to sit on the bench beside her, leaning back against the arm of it, making himself comfortable. “It is a cruel world out there, Elizabeth, particularly for a woman such as yourself.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “A woman in a man’s world, of course,” he said. “One who is subject to questioning and disagreements. It is only fortunate that I have been able to avail myself of a partnership so that I am able to look out for you.”

  “You stole your partnership, and are only trying to bring about my downfall,” she said, no longer veiling her
words, for Henry would likely miss any subtle hints. She had to be straightforward with him. “What is it you want, Henry?” she asked, exasperated now. “Do you want money? Do you want a silent partnership? What will it take to convince you to leave me be?”

  “Elizabeth, I am hurt,” he said, bringing a hand to his chest. “You are my family, and I want nothing but the best for you. In fact, I am here to protect you from others.”

  “There is no one else who so greatly wishes to bring about my downfall but you, Henry,” she said, rolling her eyes. How naive did he think her to be?

  “Do you truly think that?” he asked. “There are snakes in the grass, Elizabeth. Ones you cannot see.”

  “None as venomous as you, Henry.”

  “Oh no? Well, you think that I have gone to great lengths in order to be close to you? Not nearly as great as another, I tell you.”

  “And you would know this, how?”

  Elizabeth didn’t want to listen to him speak anymore, for she knew that nearly all of his words were fabricated in order to cause her to question all that she knew to be right and true. Yet as he was sitting right next to her, she could hardly completely ignore him, as much as she wanted to.

  “I have my ways.”

  “Mmm hmmm.”

  “It is true. Do you ever wonder how I know your every forthcoming action, and the inner workings of the bank? It is because I am friends with someone who knows you well, Elizabeth, who provides me the information I seek, who is looking forward to you eventually stepping away from the bank even more than I am.”

  “There is no one close to me who would do such a thing,” she said, though her mind began to race, as much as she attempted to prevent it from doing so. Was there any truth to what her blasted cousin said?

  “Oh no?” he asked, his smile smug. “Is there anyone in your life, Elizabeth, who has become particularly close to you since good old Grandfather named you his heir, since you decided to take an active role in Clarke & Co.? Anyone who would particularly benefit from your newfound wealth, but not so much your newfound position? Anyone who is smart enough to know and understand just how to convince you to leave the bank by your own decision?”