by Cotterill
Dad’s eyes go wide in shock. “What?”
“They love each other and they are going to get married and I’m going to be their bridesmaid,” I say.
Now Kaydee and Lissa go, “What?!”
“People who love each other should be together,” I go on, despite the fact that Kaydee and Lissa are also now talking. “There’s too much bad stuff in the world. Wars and bullying. And …” I try to think, but it’s hard when there’s other noise. “And animal cruelty. People should have things that make them happy, like dancing and singing and strawberries. And people they love …” I stop because no one is listening to me. They’re all talking over each other, and I am really angry because what I just said was very important and no one heard it.
The noise is too much, so I let go of Kaydee’s hand and put both my hands over my ears and screw up my face. “Stop it, stop it, stop it!” I shout.
Mom storms out of the room, and Dad stands for a moment looking like he doesn’t know what to do. Then he too goes out of the room.
Kaydee and Lissa are crying, and that makes me unhappy. Kaydee says to Lissa in an angry voice, “I can’t believe they’re taking it like this! After everything Mom’s always said.”
Lissa’s hands are trembling. “I should sleep downstairs,” she says.
“What?” says Kaydee. “No!”
“I can’t …” Lissa sounds all wobbly. “I don’t … Look, it’s their house. I should do what they say.”
“It’s my house too,” says Kaydee. “And I say we have to stick together on this. We talked about it before, remember?”
“But they’re so angry,” Lissa says weakly. “They want you to be happy.”
Kaydee turns on her fiercely. “You’ve made me happier than I’ve ever been! The way you laugh, the way you listen and think, and what you do… you’re magic, you are. And I won’t be without you. Not now, not ever.”
Lissa’s eyes are streaming, and I go to put my arms around her, but she’s stiff. “I still think I should sleep downstairs tonight,” she whispers.
Kaydee stares at her, and her mouth opens and closes a couple of times before she manages to say anything. “Are you … are you … what are you saying?”
“I don’t want people to be angry with me,” Lissa says in a small voice. “I can’t deal with it.”
“But this matters.” Kaydee’s face is very pale.
“I know it matters,” Lissa says. “But maybe we’re rushing into things. They just want what’s best for you. Maybe I’m not it.”
“You’re defending them,” says Kaydee. “You’re on their side, when you should be on mine!”
“I am on your side,” Lissa says, but her voice cracks. “But I can’t fight, Kaydee. I’m not strong like you.”
“This isn’t about your dad,” Kaydee snaps. “This is about us.”
I am a bit confused because I don’t understand why Kaydee is talking about Lissa’s dad.
“I’m sorry,” whispers Lissa, and she looks at the floor.
Kaydee shakes her head, lots of times. “I can’t believe it. You’re … are you breaking up with me?”
“No!” Lissa says. “I love you.”
“Well, that’s not what it sounds like.” Kaydee’s voice is hardening, like it’s turning to stone. “Fine. Maybe it’s better that I found out now. Before I … invested too much in you. In us. I’ll get you a sleeping bag. You needn’t come up to my room at all.” Then she runs out of the room and we hear her feet stomping up the stairs.
Lissa puts her shaking hands over her face. I go to hug her but she turns away. “Oh, Darby,” she moans, “why can’t I ever stand up for myself? Why do I just run away the minute there’s an argument?”
I shrug. “I dunno.” I am feeling quite tired all of a sudden. There is way too much emotional stuff going on. “Do you want to listen to some music?” I ask Lissa.
She wipes her eyes and sniffs. “What?”
“Do you want to listen to my music?”
“Oh.” Lissa makes an attempt at a smile. “N-no, thanks. That’s … very sweet of you. I don’t feel like it right now.”
There’s a thumping noise as something bounces down the stairs. Lissa and I go out into the hallway. A sleeping bag and a pillow are at the bottom of the stairs. A few moments later, Kaydee appears at the top of the stairs and throws down a pair of pajamas too. “Your toothbrush is in the bathroom,” she tells Lissa, before turning away and going back to her room.
Lissa picks up all the things, biting her lip. I know she is trying not to cry. She drops the pillow on the way to the sitting room, so I pick it up and put it on the sofa in there. “It’s quite a nice room to sleep in,” I tell Lissa. “The sofa is comfy and there are blankets, and Cherry will come and sit on your feet and keep them warm.”
She nods but doesn’t say anything.
“Kaydee loves you,” I say. “And I love you too. Don’t be sad.”
She takes a breath, and then she says, quietly, “Darby, thank you so much but I’d like to be on my own for a bit, if you don’t mind.”
“Okay,” I say.
It’s still early—far too early to go to bed. But everyone has disappeared. So I go back up to my room and watch a TV show on my laptop.
I hope things are better in the morning.
Chapter 28
In the night, I wake from a nightmare. In it, Kaydee is shouting at me, but even though I can hear her, I can’t understand the words. And then all this stuff starts coming out of her mouth: sheets, duvets, and pillows, one after the other. It all piles up on top of me until I’m buried under a mountain of bedding, and I know she’s still shouting but I can’t see or hear her anymore because I’m completely in the dark. I wake up sweating and scared, and I’ve got my head right under the duvet, so it takes me a while to find the way out.
I sit up in bed, trembling. I’m very hot, and my bangs are sticking to my forehead.
I need Georgie. She was in my bed last night; where is she now? I reach around under the duvet, finding nothing. I check under my pillow: nothing. I get out of bed, pull the duvet right off … nothing.
Maybe she’s back under the bed? I put on my glasses and get on the floor with a flashlight. I can’t see her. I squeeze right under the bed so I can reach all the way to the wall, but my fingers close on old schoolbooks, dress-up clothes, balls of fluff.
No Georgie. She’s not there.
I sit back, staring. I had her yesterday. Didn’t I? This weekend feels like it’s lasted a very long time. Then I remember Kaydee’s threat. She said if I told Mom about her and Lissa, she’d tear Georgie apart.
I straighten in shock. Has Kaydee taken Georgie? Now I am frightened. She wouldn’t do what she said, would she? But I did tell; I didn’t keep her secret. It was an accident. But what if she’s taken Georgie anyway, just like she threatened?
I get to my feet. I will go up to Kaydee’s room and beg her to give Georgie back.
I tiptoe across the landing to the stairs that lead up to Kaydee’s room. I can hear Olly snoring. I go up the stairs, remembering to avoid the two that creak loudly. At the top, I push open the door gently. “Kaydee,” I whisper. “Kaydee.”
There’s no answer, so I go in. “Kaydee,” I say again, but then I stop.
The bed is empty. Where is she?
She must have gone downstairs to be with Lissa. I go back down Kaydee’s stairs, then the main stairs to the ground floor. I turn right and walk through the kitchen with its ticking clock. Butter lifts his head and thumps his tail softly on the floor. His eyes gleam. “Shh,” I tell him, and I go to the door that leads to the sitting room. It is open a little, and I peep through.
Lissa is there on the sofa, sleeping. Cherry snores at her feet.
I glance around the sitting room, but there’s no one else there.
Where is my sister?
Chapter 29
I stand in the kitchen for a moment, thinking. Where would Kaydee go? The clock says 4 a.m. She can’t be in th
e bathroom; the light wasn’t on. She’s not in her bedroom. She’s not in the sitting room. She wouldn’t be in Olly’s room, or Mom and Dad’s. Would she be in Mom’s office? Seems a bit unlikely, but I check anyway—no Kaydee.
There’s only one room left: the utility room. She isn’t there, but I do notice two things. Her coat is gone. And so are her boots.
I try the handle of the back door. It’s unlocked.
Kaydee has gone outside.
Well, if Kaydee has gone out, then I’ll have to go too, even though it’s dark out there and I hate the dark. I can’t go back to bed without Georgie. There isn’t a storm anymore, but it won’t be warm outside, so I pull on a spare fleece. We always have lots hanging by the door for anyone to borrow. This one is too big for me, but never mind. I put my waterproof coat on over the top, because even though it’s not raining, it might be soon. I put my rain boots on too, over my bare feet.
Then I pick up a flashlight and go out the back door, closing it quietly behind me.
I don’t have any particular idea where Kaydee might be, so I start walking around the site. My boots make a faint squishing noise on the damp grass, which is kind of nice to listen to, and it takes my mind off the darkness around me. I swing the flashlight from side to side as I walk. Kaydee’s coat is bright pink with a reflective stripe down each arm, so she should be easy to spot. I don’t want to call out because I am passing RVs where people are sleeping. As I pass Monica and Gregor’s RV, I hesitate. Gregor would be a good person to ask for help. But he might be angry if I woke him up, and Monica would go and tell Mom, and then everyone would be angry with me, so I decide not to.
Squish. Squish. Squish. The inside of the rain boots feels smooth against my bare feet. I like it. Squish. Squish.
I walk all the way around the outside of the greenhouses, carefully avoiding the broken glass, and find myself back at the start again. I’m a bit surprised. It didn’t feel like I’d walked that far. There’s no sign of Kaydee.
If she isn’t here, she must be somewhere else.
I head down the driveway and out onto the road. Out of habit, I turn left, since that’s the direction of the other sites of our farm.
My rain boots on the road make a different sound, almost clopping like a pony. I try walking more quickly, and then more slowly. My feet are quite cold, and the inside of the boots doesn’t feel as comfy. I wish I had some socks.
Every now and then I swing the flashlight around the sidewalk and call, quietly, “Kaydee!” But I don’t see her.
A car comes along the road with really bright headlights. I step back onto the grass, trip, and sit down heavily, putting my hand straight onto a thistle. “Oww.” It’s the same hand I put in the nettles the other day. It must be my unlucky hand.
The car goes past. What is anyone doing out on the road at this time? Maybe they are a doctor or a vet. Or maybe they’re out looking for Kaydee too.
Well, anyway. Can’t sit around here all night. I get up, wiping my wet and prickled hand on my coat. It hurts.
I feel a bit cross. Kaydee is annoying me now. Making me tramp around in the middle of the night.
I set off again. The cold creeps up my legs. I can’t feel my toes at all now. I’m not really sure I can feel my feet. But they are still working, which is sort of strange, really.
… Caoimhe at one of my day camps. She was in a wheelchair because she’d fallen off a trampoline and broken a bit of her back. She couldn’t feel her legs. When we met, she said her name was Keeva. And then one day I saw it written down, and it was completely not spelled like that at all. In fact, I thought it was someone else, but she took the name sticker and stuck it on herself. “That’s not your name,” I said, and she said, “Yes, it is. It’s Irish,” which didn’t explain anything.
I keep walking and walking, feeling angrier and angrier with Kaydee as I go. When I find her, I’m going to tell her off for taking Georgie and making me chase after her all over.
In a little while the road forks, and I take the right-hand one, crossing the road carefully. There’s a sidewalk here, which is good.
It’s not quite so quiet now; the sky is getting lighter and the birds are singing in the trees. Dad calls it the “dawn chorus” but it’s not like a chorus in a song. Birds all sing different tunes. Apart from crows, which don’t sing, they croak, like they’ve got very sore throats. Or are angry. But they’re not Angry Birds, because that’s a type of computer game.
I’m getting hungry now. A couple more cars go past, and one of them slows, the driver peering at me. My heart speeds up. I have seen news reports about children being kidnapped by people in cars. I walk a bit faster. The car pulls in behind me, and I hear the door open. “Hey!” calls a man’s voice. “Are you okay? Do you need some help?”
I shake my head without looking back, and I walk even faster.
After a moment, I hear the door slam and the car drive off. I stop then, breathing heavily, my head all dizzy. I was nearly kidnapped!
I should get off the sidewalk. I don’t want anyone else to see me.
I take the next footpath, which leads down the side of some houses and into fields. Aunt Milly lives down here. Her house is the last one on the left before the fields begin. My tummy rumbles. I could go to Aunt Milly’s for breakfast once I’ve found Kaydee.
I keep going past the house and into the field. I don’t really know where I’m going, but Kaydee has to be somewhere, so I’ll just keep walking and looking until I find her.
I cross one field and then the next, and I don’t need my flashlight now because the sun is up, and thankfully it’s still not raining. I am cold and hungry and I would really like to sit down and not go any farther. But I still haven’t found Kaydee, so I keep going, calling for her every now and then, and trying not to trip over the holes in the ground. I am looking down a lot, but then I look up to check I’m going in the right direction and suddenly …
There is a deer.
Two deer, in fact. They’re just across the field from me, I don’t know how far, but they’re close enough that I can see the speckly bits in the fur on their backs. They have delicate heads, and they’re both looking at me, their ears twitching a little. They are gorgeous.
I really, really want to pet them. I bet they’re very soft. I fumble in my pockets but I already know that I don’t have any food to offer them (otherwise I’d have eaten it). On the ground are tufts of grass, so I bend down slowly and tear up some. My prickled hand is still sore, but I don’t care because I am going to bring home two deer to the farm where they can live with us and be my pets. I could have some rabbits and squirrels too, like Snow White.
I walk slowly toward the deer, my handfuls of grass held out in front of me. I don’t want to startle them. I know how to talk to animals.
They watch me approach, and they stay perfectly still. And then, just as I think I’m going to actually do it, just as I’m only about ten steps away … they run. Leaping over the hedge, higher than my head, on those spindly legs, and then they’re gone.
“Oh,” I say out loud, which startles me because everything had been so quiet. I look down at the grass in my hand, and suddenly I’m very, very tired and cold and hungry, and everything is miserable, and I let out a really big shout: “KAYDEE!!” because it’s all I’ve got left.
And then her voice answers.
“Darby?”
Chapter 30
You know how sometimes you hear things and you’re not sure they’re real?
That.
I must have imagined her voice. I mean, I was looking for her, wasn’t I? So I hit myself on the head, because I am stupid, just like Mom said, and I realize now this has all been a total waste of time. I’ll go back to Aunt Milly’s and she’ll give me breakfast and maybe some socks.
Kaydee’s voice comes again. “Darby, is that you?”
I didn’t imagine it. “Kaydee?”
“Darby!” Her voice is stronger. “Darby, I’m here! Oh God, Darby!”
It sounds close, but I can’t see her. “Where are you?” I call.
“On the other side of the hedge!” she shouts back.
I bend down to look through it, the hedge the deer have just jumped, and I can see her pink coat through the branches. “Kaydee! What are you doing there?”
“I fell in a ditch!” she says. “I’ve hurt my ankle. And I dropped my phone in a puddle and it won’t work. Oh, Darby, I’m so glad to see you!” She starts to cry.
“Don’t cry, Kaydee!” I tell her. “I’m coming to get you.”
I try to push my way through the hedge but it’s too thick. The sharp twigs scratch at my face and hands.
“Not here!” Kaydee says, in a wobbly voice. “There’s a cut-through farther up.”
I disentangle myself and follow the hedge along until I find the gap. I squeeze through and nearly trip, because on the other side is a shallow ditch. The ground is very squishy, and I nearly lose one of my boots in a patch of mud, but I scramble over the ditch and get to my feet again. Kaydee is sitting on the ground a little way off, and I am so happy to see her that I run toward her, which is surprising because I didn’t think I had anything left in me to run.
I collapse on the ground next to her, and she reaches out to hug me and bursts into loud sobs, and I cry a bit too because I am very glad I don’t have to wander around the fields on my own anymore.
When she stops the really loud part of the sobbing, I say, “Kaydee, where’s Georgie?”
She stops crying completely and stares at me. “What? What do you mean, where’s Georgie? How would I know?”
“You took Georgie,” I say.
“No, I didn’t. Darby, what are you doing out here all on your own? Where’s Mom?”
“At home,” I say. “I came to find you because of Georgie. I needed her in the night but she wasn’t there. And you’re the only one who knows where I keep her. You said you’d tear her apart if I told about you and Lissa.”
“Oh, Darby,” says my sister. “Of course I wouldn’t do that. I was angry with you. But I’d never do that.”