Dying Truth

by Jay Nadal

  By the time he reached Riverside Drive, Beth was already home. She was cleaning ferociously. Madison was home, playing in the backyard.

  “How’s he doing?” Cade asked.

  Beth was on her knees, hair tied up, hands lost in rubber gloves, and was scrubbing at the baseboards. She sat back and wiped sweat from her forehead with her wrist. She dropped the cloth she had been using into a bucket of soapy water that smelled of disinfectant.

  “They’ve put him into a medically induced coma. He has a fractured skull. No internal injuries they can find. Just his head.” Her voice was tired and drained of emotion. “They told me the best thing they can do for him is let his body try to heal the damage. Put him under and just let…” Her eyes welled with tears. She looked hastily toward the back door for Madison.

  “What did you tell her?” Cade sat down on the floor next to Beth.

  “I told her Daddy had to leave town for work. We have a contract for rental repairs for a small agency in Lebanon. I’ve told her he has to stay over to fix their cars for them. She seems happy with that.”

  “Why don’t you rest. I’ve got things here.”

  “No, I need to stay active. Need to do something.”

  “You need to keep up your strength. This has been a helluva day for you.”

  “You’re not kidding. Bailing my brother out of jail. My husband beaten—” Beth’s voice began to rise, and she quieted it to a whisper. “—half to death. Yeah, pretty full day so far.”

  “So do yourself a favor and get some sleep.”

  “Uncle Tommy!” came a squeaky voice from the door to the backyard.

  “What is it, darlin’?” Tommy called back, making his voice light.

  “Come outside and play with me!” demanded Maddie.

  “Okay, sugar. I’ll be right out.”

  He looked back at Beth. There were dark circles under her eyes.

  “Trust me, kid,” Cade told her.

  Beth conceded with a nod, letting Cade pull her to her feet.

  “Maybe a couple of hours won’t hurt.”

  “As long as you need.” Cade told her.

  “Okay. She’s had dinner. And a soda. Don’t let her tell you she’s allowed any more. She can have ice cream before seven, but that’s it. I’ll be back down before bedtime anyway.”

  Cade shooed her toward the stairs and watched to make sure she went up and into her room at the top of the stairs, then went outside. Madison had made up a picnic for herself and some of her toys, including the gangly cowboy that Cade had given her. As he appeared in the doorway, she ran up and took his hand, leading him down to where she played hostess.

  He took his seat in the circle and accepted a plastic cup and saucer. He sipped from the empty cup with an exaggerated slurp and gave a satisfied sigh, then a belch. Madison clapped her hands to her mouth in a gesture that was pure Beth.

  “You’re not supposed to do that. It’s rude!” she exclaimed.

  “Well, ma’am, I’m from Texas, and we don’ got much social graces down there, let me tell ya.”

  “What’s social graces?”

  “Manners,” Cade told her. “We don’t got no manners.”

  “Well, I’ll teach you.”

  “I would be mighty grateful, Miss Collins,” Cade said in mock solemnity, tipping an imaginary hat.

  “You have to sip like this.” Madison took a delicate sip from her cup, lips pursed until they barely touched the rim. “And you’re not allowed to make a noise.”

  “Okay, I’ll try.” He made a slurping noise, and Madison shook her head.

  “No, no, no, no, no. Doh.” That last took him by surprise.

  “Do your Mom and Dad let you watch The Simpsons?”

  “Yes. It’s funny. I like the dog.”

  He remembered that he had been dead against Ellie watching anything like that. Disney was fine, but anything else just taught all the wrong messages. At least that’s what he had thought back then. Elaine was more progressive. Born in California and with an MBA from Stanford, she had moved to Houston to take a job with Shell Oil. They had clashed about raising Ellie.

  Cade’s views had been conservative, with the only area of agreement being religion. Elaine hated Ellie being exposed to religion until she was old enough to choose her own path, if she wanted to follow any faith at all. Cade had long ago formed the view that preachers were just one more person out to control him. Teachers, cops, preachers, and of course, Him. They all had their angles and their own agendas.

  As a cop, he had seen how some people used faith as a motivation to do good. He had seen ministers on the streets of Houston going into places where the cops didn’t go, confronting the gangs. He admired those men, but remained convinced of the final purpose of all religion. When Ellie got sick, Elaine had prayed. The liberal Californian, twenty-first century woman had prayed, because she would have done anything to make Ellie well again. Cade hadn’t.

  He couldn’t do it. There was nothing there. No one watching out for them. No one to help but themselves. He forced away the reverie, but the thoughts clung to him. The memories were hard to shake. The more time he spent with Maddie, the more he remembered things long forgotten. Small things. Not the Kodak moments seared into his brain forever. The trivial, mundane things that formed 99 percent of family life.

  The time with Madison flew. He was taken by surprise when Beth called from the back door.

  “Okay, Maddie. Five minutes. Then bath time. And bedtime.”

  “Awwww, Mom! Can’t I have a bit longer? Uncle Tommy and I were going to play hide and seek. Please? Pllllleeeeeeease?”

  “You heard what I said, young lady. If you’re a good girl, maybe Uncle Tommy will read you a bedtime story.”

  “Oh, ohhhhkay.” Maddie sighed.

  “Better luck next time, kid,” Cade told her.

  “Well, we can have a real quick game of hide-and-seek. You count to twenty instead of a hundred. No, ten. But real, real slow. ’Kay?”

  Cade followed his orders, and for the next five minutes, he was lost to the world in the games of a happy seven-year-old.

  Later, when Maddie was in bed, Cade sat on the steps of the back porch nursing a coffee and toying with a cigarette. Beth sat down next to him.

  “I’m sorry I blew up at you, Tommy.”

  “I understand.”

  “I thought that if you found out what was going on, you would try and do something.”

  “You were right.”

  “And I didn’t want you getting killed.”

  Cade didn’t answer.

  “I’ve never been so scared. Sometimes I envy you.”

  “I don’ believe you.”

  “It’s true. You’ve got nobody to worry about but yourself. I mean, I’m not talking about Maddie. She’s a gift from God. But when you love someone so much, like Brandon, it leaves you so exposed when you think you’re about to lose them. I hate feeling like this. And it makes me think maybe I’d be better off if…”

  “If you were a cold-hearted son of a bitch like me.”

  Beth hesitated. “Yeah.”

  Cade laughed, a short burst of sound. “Trust me. Being… exposed is better than the alternative. It makes you human.”

  “And you’re not?”

  “I don’ know. I thought I was. When Elaine and I were together. Then, after Ellie, I thought I was just a cop. Nothin’ else. Now, I don’ know what I am.”

  “How did you guys meet? I mean the real story, not the online-dating bullshit you always told everyone. For one thing, Thomas Cade never put himself on a dating site. Ever.”

  Cade couldn’t help but smile. He had promised never to tell. Elaine had made him swear before they had even slept together. In fact, she had made it a condition. Still, no harm now. Elaine hadn’t spoken to him since they settled the divorce. He only knew she had moved out of Houston because he’d looked her up on Facebook. He took a sip of coffee. Brandon was a man after his own heart, a connoisseur of coffee, who
bought beans instead of instant and made his own blends. Beth drank instant. A warming, chocolatey flavor ran down his throat, with a hint of cherry and the familiar bitterness as a backdrop.

  “I was on a night shift. I had been workin’ Sunnyside for about a year. Then I see this expensive-looking Merc in front of me. Two people in front. And that thing was making heads turn. The only people in Sunnyside driving a car like that are dealers, and everyone knows the local dealers’ plates. So I followed, ’cause these are clearly some rich kids got lost. Pretty soon they’re going to need my help. They keep going, then the car pulls over, real sudden. Passenger door opens, and a woman gets out wearing an evening gown that shows off her legs and jewelry that every local would be smelling from a hundred yards away. She’s screaming at the driver, and then he tears off and leaves her.”

  “And that was Elaine?” Beth sounded scandalized.

  “That was Elaine. Short hair, dark. Eyes made up like Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra. And she’s storming down the street like she’s going to walk out of Sunnyside.”

  “So, what did you do?”

  “I went after her, offered her a ride. She said she didn’ need one. So, I told her how much danger she was in. She told me to go fuck myself. That’s when I smelled the liquor.”

  “She was drunk?” The scandalized tone grew even stronger.

  “Real drunk. So, she’s walking, and I know I can’t leave her without her ending up on the eleven-o’clock news. So I insisted, took her arm and told her to get in the car. She hit me. Then she tried to kick me you know where, so I arrested her.”

  “Oh my god!” Beth exclaimed. Cade looked at her. She was laughing, but it was forced. She was desperate to do anything that distracted her from her worries. Her eyes were tight, and the laughter grated. He let it go. “Elaine Skye, big-shot corporate lawyer. Drunk and disorderly. I wish I’d known,” Beth said.

  “Well, I wasn’t about to give you any more ammunition. I loved her.”

  “Yeah. Well. I guess I could’ve been more accommodating.”

  “Yep.”

  “So what happened after you arrested her?”

  “Nothing. Took her in and put her in an interview room with a pot of coffee and a female officer. Called the lawyer she ordered me to call. Explained the situation to him. He told me he wouldn’t bother coming down once he knew I wasn’t arresting her for anything. When she had sobered up some, she was very apologetic. I drove her home to Memorial. A week later, she came back and asked me out for dinner. And that’s the story.”

  Beth chuckled, but it died away too soon. She frowned into the gathering dark. “Do you miss her?”

  Yes, Cade thought. “No,” he said. “Maybe you’re right, better off alone.”

  12

  His car was outside. The bar suited the trailers that made up most of Liberty’s housing, low slung and timber built. Jody’s Bar was a slug sitting at the end of a gravel track off Palomo Drive. Its windows were barred and lit by garish neon beer advertisements. Cars and bikes surrounded it, and every time the doors opened, they released a wave of music and drunkenness.

  Tommy squatted in the brush to one side of Jody’s, a stinking drainage ditch behind him. The tall grass was alive with crickets, and he felt the crawl of flying insects settling on his bare arms and face. His death grip clutched the old revolver he had found. It had been locked in an ancient rusty metal box with “US Army Property” still visible in black stenciled letters.

  Pops had talked about it. Had said it belonged to his father, who had carried it into battle across Europe. That was a different planet as far as Tommy was concerned. The events of the Second World War might as well have been a movie for all Grandpa’s stories meant anything to him. But finding that box in an outbuilding behind his grandpa’s house, buried under twenty-year-old sacks of concrete and rotten chicken feed, had made those stories real.

  He had smuggled it away, telling no one. Carrying it out into the hills outside of town, he had broken open the rusted lock with a stone and inside had found the gun. Now he kept it in the hollowed-out trunk of a lightning-blasted tree. It had stayed there, to be taken out and looked at, taken out and held whenever Tommy’s anger boiled over. After his mother had taken another beating. After Tommy had taken a beating himself for trying to protect her. Once He had gone away or drunk himself to sleep, Tommy would run out and take the gun out of its hiding place. And dream.

  Now that, too, was a reality. It was loaded. He had no idea if he would be able to hit anything from any kind of distance, but didn’t intend to risk it. When He came out of Jody’s, Tommy would run toward him, steal through the night like an Apache, and he wouldn’t pull the trigger until the barrel was against His head and there was no way to miss. An eye for an eye.

  The door opened and two men staggered out amidst a hail of noise. Tommy tensed, then relaxed. Neither was Him. A snake wound its way through the gritty sand a few feet from Tommy. He didn’t move. Something landed on his arm and bit deep. He didn’t move. The door opened again. It outlined a familiar, dreaded shape against the lights inside—stoop-shouldered and broad-chested, thick arms and thinning gray hair.

  Tommy moved. His sneakers made no sound as he flew across the space separating them. He had his back to Tommy. But something made Him turn at the last minute. Tommy held the ancient gun out in front of him like a lance in the hands of a medieval knight. The gun was cocked. He was facing Tommy now, eyes widening as he comprehended what he was seeing. Tommy pulled the trigger.

  Cade came awake to the sound of a gunshot. He bolted upright on his elbows and looked around for the noise that had woken him. The house was quiet. Silent. A stiff breeze from the open bedroom window raised goosebumps on his bare skin. The sound had been so real.

  “Hello?” he called out, the dream still fuzzing his brain. “Beth?”

  No reply. There was no one in the house. The sound had been part of the dream. He hadn’t dreamed of that night for a long time—the night he had intended to kill the old man. It hadn’t gone the way it went in the dream. A strong, calloused hand had closed on his wrist before he could get to his feet. Another had clamped over his mouth. Sheriff Pino’s voice whispered in his ear, telling him how bad an idea this was. Tommy had supposed the sheriff was one of His buddies. He couldn’t have been more wrong.

  His watch on the nightstand told him it was almost eight-thirty. A folded square of paper sat neatly next to it.

  Didn’t want to wake you. Taking Maddie to school, then going to open up the garage. Beth.

  “Fuck,” Cade swore, sitting and throwing back the comforter. “How dumb can you get?”

  He dialed Beth’s cell phone. She picked up after thirty seconds.

  “What the hell are you doing opening that place up?” Cade demanded.

  “We need the money, Tommy. Every day it’s closed, we’re losing money.”

  “I don’t give a damn about money. You think it’s smart to go back there? Are you alone?”

  “No, Nelson and Cole showed up for work. I’m okay.”

  “You’re a bad liar is what you are, Beth Collins.”

  “I’m not lying.”

  “Sure.”

  She made an exasperated noise. “Want me to get one of the guys on the phone for you?”

  “Don’t bother. Look, you’ve had a warning already. You don’t know that the Dexters aren’ just waiting to get you on your own.

  “You think I haven’t thought of that? Think I’m not scared shitless right now? We have five jobs in today, and together they pay enough for this month’s payment to the Dexters, plus interest. And right now, that is the only consideration I have, Tommy.”

  “What about Maddie?” Cade hit low and knew it. But he had to get through to her. As they argued, he threw on clothes from a pile of clean laundry that Beth had left him. A Garth Brooks T-shirt belonging to Brandon had found its way into the pile. Cade suppressed the urge to change it when he caught sight of himself in the mirror.


  “Maddie is safe. Fuck you, Tommy. I’m doing what I have to do.”

  “You’re trying to do everything, like you always do. Like Mom always did…” His teeth clicked shut, and he would have swallowed those words if he could.

  “Mom? You have a fucking short memory, Tommy. She did everything ’cause there was no one else. Like, where were you after Dad left?” More exasperated anger. “Don’t change the subject. I’ve got work to do. I want to get through it so I can go see Brandon. If you’re worried, then get down here and be my bodyguard. But don’t you dare judge me, you hear?”

  She hung up. Cade was already halfway down the stairs and grabbed his keys from where he had left them the night before. He hit the road, gunning the engine loud enough that it drew stares from some Riverside Drive residents. He didn’t care if he was making the Collinses unpopular with their neighbors. The dream had left a bad taste, as it always did, but that taste faded as he moved. He had to keep moving. Had to give himself a purpose. Cade forced superfluous thoughts aside. Dreams weren’t important. Whatever his messed-up subconscious wrestled with wasn’t important. Beth was in danger.

  Cade knew this story well. Husband gets a beating and the men responsible catch the wife on her own. Decide an attractive, lone female is just way too tempting a target to leave her alone. Or maybe Jimmy Dexter felt the need to make an example. Show Beth just how serious he really was. Collins Autos came into view. Two men in greasy overalls stood on the sidewalk. Cade’s truck screeched to a halt in front.

  “Where’s Beth,” he snapped.

  “Inside,” said a skinny young man with a mullet and a large, bobbing Adam’s apple. An older man with graying hair and a paunch stood next to him, smoking.

  Cade got out of the truck. He saw the sleek SUV parked in front of the auto shop’s main doors and the man leaning on the truck, watching Cade as he guarded the door.