“She needs protecting from everyone else.”
“Who? That boy who attacked her in Virginia? Is he the one who left those bruises on her?”
“No,” I said quietly, pulling my locks forward in an attempt to hide them. “It was my cousin,” I sheepishly admitted.
Her brow lowered. “The one I met?”
“I only have the one,” I muttered. Honesty was probably best at the moment, though I felt like I had just pointed Todd out in a police lineup or shoved him in front of a bus.
“Where is he now?”
We both shrugged. He could be anywhere.
“Let’s find him. We’ll start at your house, Cassandra. Get some food in you. The hunger coming off of you is dizzying.”
I shrank back, slouching and crossing my arms, as if that would give me some kind of protection from her head games.
“You didn’t eat?” Eric asked secretly as we headed back to his car. I shrank even lower. “When did you eat last? Why do you never take care of yourself?” he demanded.
“Can we not fight right now?” I snapped, pulling open the passenger’s side door to his Pontiac.
“I worry, Cassandra,” he said, turning the engine over and guiding us out of the lot. “I just want you to be healthy and happy. I’d settle for at least one right now.”
I hunched back in my seat, watching Valarie’s truck follow in the side mirror.
When we pulled up to the front of my house, I noticed my parents’ Mercedes in the driveway. Worry and panic seized me, gluing me to the seat. Where was my scarf? I searched the back seat for it and wrapped it carefully around my tender neck.
Embarrassment flooded me as I realized there was no way that Eric would be permitted to enter. I had been sneaking him in and out, but now he was here, so were they, and so was his mother.
Dammit. There was no way out of this one without telling his mom or letting my parents embarrass the crap out of me. By the time I was out of the car, Valarie was already standing on the snowy lawn. Her eyes darted into every window, to one neighboring house, then to the other, and back to us. She saw the pasty look on my face, and oddly enough, she shared a similar look.
“Both of you stay here.”
“What’s going on?” I asked Eric as his mom walked up to my front door. He shook his head, looking as unsure as I felt.
When my mom answered the door, her gaze shot to me and Eric. Valarie began to talk. I couldn’t hear what she said, but my mom’s glance rushed back to her face. Valarie set her hand on her arm and practically pushed her way into my house. The door closed behind her, leaving us standing in the snow, waiting.
After a while, we got back into Eric’s car. He turned it on for warmth. “What do you think is going on in there?” I asked. “Is she using her ability on my family?”
“Maybe,” he muttered. “She always had a way about getting people to like her and do what she wanted. I guess this is why.”
Just like Aurora. “But to my parents?” Why was I waiting outside, letting her take over their minds? I barely knew Valarie Jansen.
I grabbed the handle and was popping the latch when Valarie suddenly rushed outside. She mouthed Eric’s name as she stormed down the lawn. He got out quickly, and I stayed frozen with shock from the white look to her face. They went over by her truck, and I slowly followed.
“She’s not safe in that house,” Valarie said, eyes wild. Her voice was hushed, but I heard.
“What do you mean?” he asked, voice edged with sleeping ferocity. He seemed to grow taller in that moment, his face taking on the look of an Eric long past. The warrior.
“Get her out of here, Eric. I don’t care how, just do it.”
He turned toward me, his face grim and determined, but when his eyes met mine, the warrior melted away. Just like that, he softened and moved toward me carefully, guiding me into their huddle.
“What happened?” I asked timidly.
Valarie’s stormy blue eyes met mine and caved with sympathy. “Sweetheart, those aren’t your parents. Not anymore. This place is hell now, and you need to move on.”
Her bluntness kept me silent. How dare she say that? What did she know about anything? Yet for all the anger I should have been feeling, I felt a sinking dread in my gut, because I’d seen it coming. I saw the change in them spiraling out of control. I shrank beside Eric, caving with the collapse.
She looked down for a moment, then walked to me slowly. I pressed closer to Eric, inching from his mother, using his arm around me as a shield.
“I tried to influence them,” she admitted. “I’ve done it before. For Thanksgiving and in Virginia. Don’t hate me. I did it for you and Eric. But now… I can’t get in.”
“Aurora?” I asked softly.
“They’re consumed by her.” She shook her head, staring down with a bitter look on her face. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think you’re safe with them. I know you’re not.”
She pulled me into her arms, hugging me like I was important and in need of her help. Like I would fall apart without the love and support of my family.
“Can she come with us?” Eric asked.
I tried to ease out of Valarie’s arms, but she wasn’t letting me go. Not completely. She didn’t answer either. Her silence felt like a death sentence. I looked to my house, feeling the last threads of my life fall apart. Just broken fibers drifting through the wind.
“I want to be with my family,” I stated. I met Eric’s worried gaze. “I’ll stay with Tony.”
TODD:
“Wake up.”
He groaned, shifting away from the annoying voice.
“Todd! Get up!”
His shoulder moved, shoved by soft hands. He opened his eyes slowly. Slumber tried to drag him back to the sofa, but she wouldn’t give up.
“Dammit, I’m serious. Kevin will be here soon. You have to go. Don’t screw this up for me.”
He rolled up to sit as his shirt and hoodie were tossed at him. He groaned as he reached for the clothing, feeling like each limb weighed a ton.
Denise came into focus. She tossed her thinning hair into a tiny bun. It was a menagerie of faded colors and brittle from abuse. He yanked his arms into his black t-shirt. They hadn’t had sex, just gotten so fucking high. She had tried to start something up, but given his reluctance and her light head, it didn’t go very far. It was better that way. He didn’t come here to feel good but to wallow in his crappy life and mingle with the scum he used to be.
And now he was again.
Routine was already beginning to set in, so similar to the events leading up to his brush with death. Get high, try to fuck, get high again. He just wasn’t destitute yet. And this time, all his parts were working. He was fully functional in every way, except his heart. And that didn’t want to be fixed. It wanted to stay broken, to be crushed and wither down to a dried old raisin in his chest.
He gave Denise a good look, wondering if she had ever tried to get clean. God, she’d gotten so fuckin’ skinny. She used to have a little meat on her, but now she was all skin and bones. Her rumpled skirt hung from bony hips. She looked as sick as Sandy did when she’d had that damn tumor removed. His thoughts stuttered over that fact. If Aurora had wanted to torture Sandy to death, maybe she should have pushed an addiction on her instead. Crack or heroin. Meth. All roads led to the same terrible place, a place he used to run from.
He reached for Denise’s stupidly girlie hookah, but she dragged the sparkly thing from his reach. She knelt before him, makeup smudged haphazardly under her eyes, and placed a few pills in his palm.
“To hold you over. I had fun. It’s good to have you back.” Her hands traced his jaw, then dropped away. “Now go, before I curse you out.”
He stumbled outside, mind hazy and clouded. It was dark out. He couldn’t recall when that had happened, or even what time it could possibly be. His body craved sleep, to fade into the darkness and disappear from the world for a while. He tugged his hood up over his head, as if it wo
uld hide how wrecked he was.
He couldn’t fuckin’ drive. Not a good idea. As he reached for his keys anyways, a bus pulled to a stop down the street. It was like fate. He didn’t decide to get on it, but the wind seemed to push him in that direction. Maybe gravity. Maybe he knew where it would take him and he craved the torture.
He wandered toward it, expecting the bus to leave before he could reach it. As he approached the doors, he read the number. This was the bus he wanted and didn’t want just as badly. He was sure, because it wasn’t going near his home. It wasn’t going to Josh’s. It was going to the hospital.
The bus dropped him off at the ER entrance, and he went in from there. Visiting hours were over, but he had a long history and comfort with breaking rules. There was a lengthy list of places he had been that he never should have, and he had broken into a number of them. But a hospital… this had to be a first.
He slipped out of sight, heading down an empty corridor, amazed with how well he could navigate his sky-high body, even with the way the walls rocked, the floor swayed, and the lights throbbed in glowing white blurs. He ducked into an alcove when someone passed in the far hall.
Tony had texted him updates practically on the hour. He knew when Amelia discovered she would live, how severe her injuries were, and when she could leave. She had to undergo a psych evaluation at some point before she could be released. He had been there before, and it wasn’t so bad. Kinda nice in a being-held-prisoner-by-people-who-seem-to-care way, only he hadn’t had anyplace else to go. She had a home, a family, comforts that couldn’t be found here. She had to be longing for them.
Tony had sent her room number to him, so he knew where to go and found the room quickly. He walked toward the window looking in, trying not to notice his dark, freakish reflection on the glass, the circles around his eyes and his mess of hair.
The blinds that blocked her window from the hall were angled in a way that made peeking in at her easy. Her rich olive skin was something of myth at the moment. She was so pale, her skin looked stark against her thick black hair. She barely looked like herself. Seeing her through glass, all pale and bandaged, broke his heart even more than it already was.
Amelia.
His fingertips set to the glass. He wanted to tap until her big brown eyes opened and met his, but his fingers stayed stubbornly still. He wouldn’t wake her. Hadn’t he done enough? She was lying there because of him. It was his fuckin’ fault. He was to blame. She should have listened to his warning, but on some level, he knew that she wouldn’t. She would come to his rescue. She always did.
Damn stupid. He was a fucking idiot. He should have left immediately, not hid from her and Sandy like a punk kid. His knees weakened at the thought of what he had done to his cousin. He should be shot. He wished Eric had taken him out for it. God knows he deserved it.
To think there was a time when he thought good things were coming his way. When he stayed with the Pascarellis and learned that good, smart women could be stupid enough to fall for a guy like him. And not just any woman, but Amelia. He should have realized then that he’d piss all over what they had and leave her in ruin. A part of him had known, but he’d never thought it would be like this. A broken collarbone, a fractured wrist, and stitches on her smooth forehead. She was permanently marred by his fucking screwed up life of mistakes. He would have to add another name to his scabbed leg.
Amelia’s eyes opened and drifted toward the window. Todd jerked back in shock, hovering at the edge of the glass. His heart pounded hard against his ribs. He wasn’t sure if she’d seen him or not. He was still in her line of sight, but maybe she didn’t notice him. Her gaze seemed too sleepy. The hall was too dark. He assured himself that that was the case, but her eyes didn’t leave his, and he couldn’t look away. He was locked, staring into her eyes, mind sifting through all the reasons he didn’t deserve to live. She blinked her long, dark lashes and looked away, turning her face from him.
His heart clenched, tightening until he was sure it would crush itself. He clutched his chest and leaned back against the window, struggling to breathe. He gasped a hollow breath. Like redemption, air refused to come his way. He pushed off the wall, pacing down the hall. He needed escape, but a leggy blonde stepped directly in his path.
Valarie Jansen. She swept her hair back over her shoulder. Her puffy winter coat was folded over her arm, and the brown work boots she wore made her look like the rural woman she was. Her blue eyes pierced his, and he looked away quickly. He didn’t know why she was there, but it became clear when she walked confidently toward him.
“She did it for you. She’s special, that’s for sure,” Valarie said. Todd kept his eyes low, watching her boots bring her closer with each step. “Do you know what she did?” she asked.
He shook his head. Her boots stopped moving. They kept her planted just out of reach. Just far enough.
“She absorbed the link Aurora had on your mind but wasn’t able to break it before it took hold in her.”
“So, Aurora did this to her?” he asked guiltily.
“You would have to ask Amelia. I can’t be sure what pushed her.”
She stepped forward, and he took a cautious step back, keeping out of reach and staring at the floor like he’d learned to do long ago.
“Do you know what I am?” she asked, her words wrapped with a mix of amazement and terror.
“I have my suspicions.” He had more than suspicion, and now he knew how right he had been. She was like Aurora.
“But you’re not afraid? You don’t run?” she pressed, taking another step forward.
He shifted back a step. “I’m good at reading people.” She may be powerful, but there was nothing threatening about her. At least not to him.
“And you trust that you’re right about me? Even after what you did to your cousin? I saw her bruises, but that’s not all you’ve done, is it?”
He kept his eyes down. She was baiting him. He’d already fallen victim to surprise and anger this week. Never again.
“You’re right about me,” she said. “I’m not here to hurt you or anyone else. I want to help you. I’m going to teach Eric to block Aurora from his head, and I’m offering this to you too.”
She could help? He almost looked up from the shock of it. “Why me?” he asked suspiciously.
“Because Cassandra doesn’t stand a chance if I don’t do this. And if she doesn’t, then neither does Eric. I’m afraid my son will follow her wherever she goes.”
He gave a short, unamused laugh. This was fuckin’ rich. All the searching they’d done, the all-nighters spent reading and researching, and the answer was only a phone call away. In Eric’s home. In his own mother.
In someone Todd barely knew… How well could he judge her intentions right now? Was his mind functioning at all? “Maybe I don’t need help,” he said.
Charged silence greeted him. He needed to look at her. He couldn’t read her properly without eye contact. He cautiously met her eyes. She gave a sympathetic smile.
“Aw, sweetheart. You’re a mess,” she cooed. She stepped forward, and he couldn’t look away. “People have natural defenses in their minds, but you have none. You did when we first met, but they’re long gone now. You are wide open and vulnerable to me. I could take you over within seconds.”
“I’m high,” he muttered.
“What should that matter?” she asked.
“It protects me,” he said but stopped himself from saying any more. Wasn’t it bad enough that Aurora figured it out from being around him? He didn’t need to tell every witch who came his way.
“Highs wear off, you know. I can see your layers of pain, and if I latch onto one, I can make you feel anything I want.”
He stared openly at her, speechless.
“I see a desire to be loved. A need to be needed. I see crushing pain and grief. Guilt and fear.”
“And I see a nosy bitch,” he snapped.
She laughed lightly. “I’ll take that as a complime
nt. Now, should I say that I see an arrogant child? Or a man who has his future within reach and is smart enough to put it in the right hands?” she challenged. “Come with me. Stay in my home and learn what you can.”
“Forget it.” He turned away, about to down another pill and take off running as usual.
“Don’t be a coward. You have absolutely nothing to lose, and we both know it.”
“Fuck you,” he muttered, continuing on anyway.
“I can’t let you walk away, Todd,” she said sharply. “Aurora’s going to get out of that hospital one day. She’ll find you. How long can you outrun her before she wears you out? How long can you last before you kill your cousin?”
“Shut up,” he snapped. God dammit. She was right. Highs don’t last forever. And Aurora was damn good at waiting patiently to strike.
“I can teach you to fight back, to hold your own against her.”
He stopped walking and shoved his hands into his hair, pulling his dark locks much too hard. Stress was balling tight inside of him. His high wasn’t taking that away. Not anymore. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t relax.
The idea of fighting Aurora seemed ludicrous. She was too strong, and he was too weak. He was so damn tired of fighting all the time.
Nothing good came easy to him, and he now truly believed that the only reason he hadn’t run to crack when Aurora went A-bomb in his head months ago was because Aurora had been in control… the whole fucking time. She friggin’ ruled him. Tony had been right. Todd hadn’t been in total control of his own actions, not since spring. Not since he crashed his Cavalier in an attempt to escape Aurora. She had him good, and whatever Amelia did fixed that completely. Now it was just him in his head, and if there was one person he hated and distrusted more than Aurora, it was himself.
He scrubbed his palms down his face, rubbing at his weary eyes. Could he do it? Could he pick up the pieces of his broken life and take on that fight he had attempted so many other times? Could he drag himself out of the gutter once again?
“I can’t,” he muttered, unsure if Valarie could hear him or not. He groaned, rubbing at his eyes with the heels of his hands, feeling complete terror in facing the rest of his life. He couldn’t do it. It was too hard to take control again. He wasn’t strong enough. He’d lose the fight, just like every other time. The cycle would just keep going and going.
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