Haruki (Haruki Arima Book 1)

by Laine Watson

  “I don’t know.” I hide my face under the covers as he scoots closer to me. I peek at him as he moves his hand from underneath. He slowly licks his hand and all the clear contents off his fingers. “Yummy.” He glances at me. “Come here,” he says and pulls me closer to him. “Fine, if you don’t want to be honest about it, then we don’t have to. Doesn’t mean you’re not delicious. And it doesn’t mean what I’ve already said isn’t true.”

  “I’m staying over.” I pout.

  “I’m going to keeping licking you if you do.”

  My cheeks burn as I close my eyes. I have to admit how much I want him to. I squirm behind him and move his hand under the covers.

  “Stop being so uptight,” he whispers in my ear. “It’s me and you; this is a safe zone. Whatever you want to do, you can. Whatever you want me to do to you, tell me, and I will.”

  I gaze into his eyes, turning to face him.

  “I’ll give you as many orgasms as you can handle. You ready?”

  “Yes.”

  Chapter Seventeen: Max’s Girlfriend

  The new year has passed, and I’m back at school for another semester with the same time schedule as before. Max is a grade higher and is fluent in every sound, with only a couple of slip ups every now and then. He still has a few more months of therapy, so it will be a little longer than six months.

  I sleep over at Haru’s all the time. He kisses me on my forehead and calls me princess a lot, but ever since finals, which I did okay on, we haven’t been intimate.

  Haru pays me regularly with a check, and I no longer take his credit card. We’ve never been on a date, but we still hang out at the house all the time.

  Haru is unconventional in many ways. For Valentine’s Day, we pretty much did what he and Max did for their birthday: spent time together. It’s mid-March and my birthday is a few weeks away. I’m sure we’ll do the same thing. Sometimes I get a little sad because even if I am in his arms, he doesn’t advance sexually. Sometimes I try to be sexy, but he never notices.

  Earlier, Darby asked me to hang out, so I’m heading to her house. I pull up to her house in the middle of the day on a Saturday. I sigh as I turn off the car. I already know why she wants to hang out. I bet she wants details—too bad I don’t have any. I mope as I get out of the car. He didn’t even call me today, I think as I head into Darby’s apartment.

  “I’m here!” I say, knocking on her apartment door.

  The door opens. She stares at me, and I glare back.

  “What?” I say.

  “Where’ve you been? What happened with the dad? Did he turn you down? Did you even do anyth—”

  “Can I at least come in before you start biting my head off?”

  She grasps the door and looks at me angrily. “I guess,” she says as she pushes the door open. She walks over to the sofa and flops down on it.

  I walk in, close the door, and sit down next to her. I turn to her and answer her previous questions. “Okay, yes. I did say something.”

  “So, he didn’t turn you down? So that’s the reason you haven’t really talked to me for months.”

  “I do talk to you.”

  “Vaguely replying to someone’s texts does not constitute as ‘talking’ to them.”

  “Whatever! He didn’t turn me down. We’re actually dating!” I say defensively.

  “What? And you didn’t tell me?!”

  “There’s nothing to tell!” I admit, turning around and lying against the back of the sofa.

  “What? Aren’t you like super in love with him? What do you mean?”

  “I mean, I don’t even feel like we’re actually dating. I feel like we’re dating, but I’m the one who wants him, and he’s like whatever. Either way, he’s fine—girlfriend or not.”

  “Wh—”

  “We don’t even kiss anymore. I try to be sexy or whatever, but…”

  “That doesn’t sound right.”

  “We were going to have sex a few months ago, but he found out I was virgin. Then, we had this really hot messing around session before finals. After that, it’s platonic almost. I sleep over all the time. He doesn’t try anything—nothing. He just holds me. We talk, watch movies, play with Max, and that’s all. We have no intimacy whatsoever.”

  “That is horrible. You should invite him out.”

  “We can’t go anywhere. I’m his babysitter.”

  “Ask your mom to do it.”

  “What? Never!”

  “Wait!”

  “No, my mom doesn’t know.”

  “Your mom doesn’t know you have a boyfriend?”

  “No, because she’d say something stupid about it. Plus, she likes him.”

  “You have to tell her. You can’t let her find out from someone else.”

  “It’s fine. She doesn’t even ask. She thinks I’m hanging out with friends. She’s happy I have my own money and a life, but she still thinks I’m a loser because I technically don’t have a future. At least I know what I want to do now.”

  “That’s really sad.”

  “I need to do something.”

  “Maybe he thinks you’re not ready. What happened when you guys were going to have sex?”

  “Well, I maybe, started crying and—”

  “He definitely thinks you don’t want to.”

  “Ugh! But I don’t want him to pounce on me and think I’m dirty.”

  “That’s the sweet part of it. You can be dirty with him. If he’s the only guy you’re being intimate with, then it will be special.”

  “He is dirty. I just feel weird.”

  “It’s because you’ve never been in a situation like that before. It’ll be fine. Just let him know what you like.”

  “I don’t know what I like.”

  “Well, let him do stuff and tell him when you like it and when you don’t—simple.”

  Yeah, simple. “Yeah, I can do that.” Now to find a moment when it’s not awkward.

  We continue our conversation and laugh. I pout about not being able to go further with Haru. When we finish our conversation and Darby is satisfied with what she knows, I go home. I go straight to my room and don’t come out until the next morning. I stay scarce the whole day.

  On Sunday night, I go over to Haru’s. I sit in the car and give myself a pep talk.

  Okay, tonight you’re going to kiss him, like regular couples do. Just walk in the house and greet him with a kiss. He’s your boyfriend, and you have the right to do that.

  I walk up to the door and open it. Max is in the kitchen coloring, while Haru is walking around the house shirtless.

  “Hi.” I smile, walking over to him in front of the sofa.

  Do it, I encourage myself. I march right up to him, throw my arms around him, and pucker up. Suddenly, I am being pushed to the side and turned around. What?

  “Hey, what are you doing? Not in front of Max,” he whispers.

  “Why not?”

  “He doesn’t know.”

  ‘How can he not know?” I ask.

  “He doesn’t, okay? And that’s a good thing. I don’t know how he’d react,” he says, walking away from me.

  Is he making that up? Does he really just not want to kiss me? My heart falls a little. A few tears roll down my cheeks as I watch him walk into the kitchen. I continue to stand there, watching them color as I wipe my tears away.

  Haru looks up at me after all my tears are gone. “You don’t have to cook tonight. I ordered from that Mexican place. It’ll be here in a little while.”

  “Oh, okay.”

  Max looks up at me. “Summer!” he exclaims, hopping down from the stool and running to hug me.

  Haru watches us, and I look into his eyes.

  “Hey, buddy, did you have a good day today? What did you and Daddy do?”

  “We went to the mall. He got a necklace.”

  “Max!” Haru cautions.

  “A necklace?” I question, looking at Haru, who seems nervous and doesn’t look at me.


  “What else did you do at the mall?” I lean down in front of Max.

  “I got some new shoes. SEE!” he says, stomping his shoes on the hardwood floor. “They have lasers!” He makes the red lights shine every time his feet touch the floor.

  “Wow, those are pretty snazzy.”

  “Snazzy?” He laughs. “That’s a silly word.”

  “It is.”

  “Hey, Max? Go get washed up for dinner,” Haru says, still keeping his eyes from me.

  “Okay, Daddy,” Max replies and turns to me. “I’m going to be super-fast. After dinner, do you want to play a game with me and Daddy? He already said we can play.”

  “Yeah, that’d be fun.” I smile.

  “Awesome!” he says, running to the stairs, and then up them.

  Haru and I watch Max until he disappears.

  “Summer?” Haru calls, as I avoid looking at him.

  “Can you kiss me now? I shouldn’t have to ask that, Haru.”

  “Can you just wait a minute? Why are you—”

  “Because you haven’t even touched me since that night. Do you not like me anymore?” I ask with my eyes shifting and my head down.

  “Summer, can we please not do this right now?”

  “Then when can we—”

  “Why is it important that we talk about it right now?”

  “Because I’m not happy. I haven’t cried a lot, but I feel like I want to all the time.”

  “Please don’t cry.”

  “Wh-who is the necklace for, your mom?”

  “You.”

  Finally looking up at him, I ball my fists. I had enough. “Why would you get me a necklace? For what?! You don’t even want to touch me! I don’t want anything you buy with your stupid money!” I yell at him with my eyes closed.

  “I got the promotion,” he announces.

  I loosen my fists and open my eyes slowly. “W-what?”

  “I got it. I just got you the necklace to say thank you and to let you know I like being with you. It’s just your birthstone. I’m not trying to buy you.”

  “Good, because you can’t. I already found out my major, and I know what I’m going to school for, so you don’t have to take care of me. I can make my own money and take care of myself.”

  “Summer, I know you can take care of yourself. You’ve been taking care of Max and me for the last however many months.”

  He’s being genuine. Look at his eyes. He’s serious and I’m just yelling at him—I don’t care. He has to know that I can do it on my own. But … but … I love him so much.

  “Haru…” I say, running up to him and throwing my arms around his neck. I lean in for a kiss, and he reciprocates. Maybe I should have the nerve to try more often instead of letting it accumulate within me to the point that I’m yelling at him. It doesn’t matter anymore though, we are kissing and I can feel him. He holds me tightly and I him. It’s so good for me, for my body, for everything. I want it to last forever.

  “Daddy!” Max screeches. There is anger and hurt in his tone.

  Haru pushes me away. Both our eyes open wide; one second on each other, the next on Max.

  “Max?” Haru urges.

  “No!” Max yells and runs upstairs.

  Why is Max so upset? I thought he liked us being together. We’re becoming a family, right?

  “Max!” Haru says, running after him.

  I stay behind. I hear yelling from Max, and Haru trying to calm him down.

  Oh, no. I’m going to lose them both. Why does it matter to Max? Why wouldn’t he want me and his father to be together? That would mean we could all be together. I don’t understand.

  Starting to cry, I fall to the floor. I just wanted to feel like we were together. Did I mess this up? I sniffle. Should I leave? Should I go up there? Am I in the way? Every time I fall in love it seems like I hurt someone, and then they just continue to hurt me.

  “Summer!” Haru’s voice lurks down the stairs. I can’t tell the tone, but it still scares me.

  No, I don’t want to go up there.

  “Summer, come here!” Haru calls.

  I gulp, wiping my tears. The stairs seem so far away. I rise to my feet and head toward them, each step making my legs heavier and heavier the higher I climb. Finally, I stand in the doorway of Max’s room.

  “Y-yes?” I ask hesitantly.

  Haru sits on the edge of Max’s bed, and Max at the head.

  “Max, tell Summer what you just told me,” Haru encourages with an odd look on his face.

  “No!” Max barks, covering his eyes. “Go away, Summer!”

  “Max!” Haru chastises with a grunt.

  “I’ll just leave,” I peep, preparing to tip out of the room.

  “No, you won’t,” Haru says, halting my steps. “Tell her, Max.”

  “I don’t want to,” Max cries. He uncovers his eyes and looks straight at me. “Why did you kiss Daddy?”

  “Um…” I look to Haru to help out and say something, but he does nothing but look at Max. “Because … I really love you guys. And I really love Daddy.”

  Max sits up straighter. Haru still makes no moves.

  “You’re my girlfriend,” Max announces proudly.

  A small smirk comes across my face. “What?”

  Haru laughs. The odd face he wore before makes a little more sense now. “That’s why I didn’t want you to kiss me earlier,” Haru reveals.

  “Oh, Max.” I walk over to the other side of the bed. “Can I sit with you guys?”

  Max’s arms fold, and his face frumps up. “If you want to. Just don’t kiss Daddy in my room or you have to get out.”

  I smile. “Deal.”

  “Max,” Haru says. “What if Daddy loves Summer too and wants her to be his girlfriend?”

  “But Daddy, Summer is my girlfriend. She comes to see me. And we play games and we watch TV.”

  “That just means you’re friends.”

  “Well, what’s so different about friends and girlfriends?”

  “Yes, Haru, what is so different?” I ask playfully.

  “I’ll show you later?” he says through his teeth.

  I giggle. “Oh, and Max, we are best friends, but I really want to be Daddy’s girlfriend. Then we can always be together, and you’ll be super special because you’ll have two best friends: me and Daddy.”

  “We can always be together? Like you won’t leave anymore?”

  “Oh … um … I mean…” I stumble on my words. He’s got too many direct questions.

  “Yeah, that’s what she means,” Haru says, looking up at me. “She’s going to stay here with us. Of course, only if you go ahead and let her be my girlfriend.”

  I smile confused. What is he doing? I can’t stay here with them. My mom would flip out.

  “Mm… I guess so. If you’re my girlfriend does that mean you will want to kiss me like you kissed Daddy?”

  “Uh…”

  “That’s gross,” Max says. “That’s okay, you can be my best friend, and you can be Daddy’s girlfriend.” He turns to his father and asks, “Girls are weird. Why would you want to do that?”

  I laugh.

  Haru smirks. “I know. She’s so weird.”

  I roll my eyes at him.

  Max giggles.

  “I’m still going to kiss you like this,” I say, kissing him on the forehead.

  “That’s fine, just not like the other way.”

  “No problem.” I smile.

  “Then I guess—” Haru starts to speak, but a knock comes at the door.

  “I bet that’s the food. I’ll go get it,” Haru volunteers, heading out of the room.

  Max sits on his bed, and I stare at him a little.

  “Max, I love you and your dad a whole lot. I always want you in my life. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.”

  “I’m sorry, too. I didn’t know you wanted to be Daddy’s girlfriend. I thought you only liked me.”

  I giggle. “Why wouldn’t I like your Daddy?”
<
br />   “Because he’s got a lot of hair and it sometimes hits people. And he’s not around a lot.”

  “But don’t you still love him, even with all that stuff?”

  “Yeah. But he’s my dad.”

  “I love him, anyway.”

  “Are you really going to stay here and not go away anymore? You’re going to have breakfast with us and be with us when it’s not a school day? Like a family?”

  Does Max really want that? I think, studying him. Does Haru want that? Do I want that? “I don’t know right now, but I can definitely come over more. It’s not a school day today, and I’m here.”

  “Okay. That sounds all right.”

  “Awesome.”

  “If you’re Daddy’s girlfriend, does that make you my mommy?” he gazes up at me as he pauses. “You kind of act like a mommy. When I had a mommy, I didn’t have a daddy, and now that I have a Daddy, I don’t have a mommy … unless you’re here.”

  My heart sinks into my chest. Aww, Max…

  Chapter Eighteen: The Haru We Don’t Know

  The delivery guy at the door ends our little family moment. The mood calms down as we make our way to the kitchen and eat dinner. Haru and Max leave the table when we finish. I smile as I close the containers of food and put them in the refrigerator. I’m distracted by the sound of a giggling Max and look up to find Haru heading up the stairs with Max on his shoulder as he tickles him. I wipe down the table, put away any excess stuff, and push all the chairs in. As I am closing the fridge, Haru comes downstairs. He stops in front of them. “I just put Max to bed—no bath tonight. Hey?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I was thinking maybe I’ll start picking Max up. Since I got the promotion, I won’t be working long hours all the time.”

  “Oh, yeah, and I’d just get him when you aren’t able to? That sounds like a good idea. I know Max would love it. I could just come home after school—I mean, come here—and get dinner started or something.”

  “Yeah, that’d work out. I’ll take him to speech.”

  “Okay.” I smile sweetly at him.

  He smirks. “So…” He pauses, looking to either side of him. “Why don’t we call it a night also?”

  “What time is it?” I ask, walking over to him.