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Plays 5

Page 6

by Caryl Churchill


  OVERWEIGHT

  Will you stop shouting at me?

  BLUE

  I didn’t raise my voice. Did I raise my voice?

  OVERWEIGHT

  I’m not listening.

  BLUE

  I know you’re not.

  OVERWEIGHT

  It’s his last day. It could be a peaceful time.

  BLUE

  And whose fault is it? I’m basically a very peaceful person.

  OVERWEIGHT

  You?

  BLUE

  Aren’t I?

  OVERWEIGHT

  Yes, you are.

  BLUE

  I’m what?

  OVERWEIGHT

  A peaceful person. Am I? What do you think?

  BLUE

  Yes.

  OVERWEIGHT

  Good. You have to forgive me because I mean well.

  BLUE

  There then. There, my dear. Shall we let her out?

  OVERWEIGHT

  No, let’s have some peace.

  The QUIET MAN lets himself in through the front door. He is the brother of the overweight man.

  QUIET MAN

  Gone?

  BLUE

  He’ll be down in a minute.

  QUIET MAN

  Drink?

  BLUE

  You drink too much.

  QUIET MAN

  Drink?

  BLUE

  Might as well.

  QUIET MAN

  Bastard came up on the inside so I cut in front to show him and he nearly drove me off the road.

  BLUE

  (To OVERWEIGHT.) Go and get him. I want to see him.

  OVERWEIGHT

  I was about fifteen, there was a dead dog, the body was by the road, and I thought, asleep, no, that’s dead, it was getting squashy, there was a lot of flies, and I thought that’s really dead, and I suddenly thought I could do that, if it really helped my country and what I believe in and the people I love and our way of life which is threatened, if I could take some of those bastards with me I could be really happy to be dead, except I didn’t expect to be happy, I expect to be nothing, but happy to do something that could make me end up dead, I could do that.

  The OVERWEIGHT MAN goes by the inside door.

  QUIET MAN

  You know what he did.

  BLUE

  I don’t want to talk about that.

  QUIET MAN

  Nobody talks about that.

  BLUE

  He always tells that story.

  QUIET MAN

  Yes, that’s the bit he tells.

  Pause.

  BLUE

  We mustn’t.

  QUIET MAN

  I know but we have to.

  BLUE

  He’s just as bad.

  QUIET MAN

  He’s insane.

  BLUE

  Oh god, I want you so much.

  QUIET MAN

  I want you so much.

  BLUE

  I want you so much too.

  A WOMAN WHO BITES, seventies, mother of the overweight man and the quiet man, enters from indoors.

  W WHO BITES

  Where is he?

  BLUE

  He’ll be down in a minute.

  QUIET MAN

  Drink?

  BITES

  Are we celebrating? Celebrating sending another one off to be killed?

  BLUE

  Celebrating maybe he’ll kill some of them.

  BITES

  My darling was completely destroyed. There was nothing left.

  BLUE

  Yes, don’t get excited.

  BITES

  They’ve got graves to go to, you stupid child. Killing’s not enough.

  The OVERWEIGHT MAN comes back in.

  OVERWEIGHT

  There’s nothing I inherited except my father’s hair and his lefthandedness. Everything I got I earned. And the government want to take that away. The hero’s coming.

  BLUE

  I’m going to let her out.

  OVERWEIGHT

  I said no.

  QUIET MAN

  Is she shut in her room again?

  BLUE

  Her parents know what to do, thank you.

  A PALE YOUNG MAN, son of the overweight man and the woman in blue, and the YOUNG WOMAN CARRYING A FLOWER enter from indoors. He is wearing military uniform and holding the flower.

  BITES

  Here we are.

  OVERWEIGHT

  Have you ever seen a man dead?

  QUIET MAN

  (Offering.) Drink?

  PALE YM

  It’s fine because I believe in what we’re doing.

  BITES

  You’re a good boy.

  OVERWEIGHT

  His grandfather was a missionary. He gave his life bringing the truth.

  FLOWER

  I do think it’s right to try to be good.

  BLUE

  You’re drinking too much.

  QUIET MAN

  And?

  OVERWEIGHT

  That’s the most important thing, a clear conscience.

  BITES

  They’re pus you have to kill with disinfectant. Vermin.

  QUIET MAN

  Drink?

  BLUE

  (To FLOWER.) They want to build ugly little houses right in the middle of the view. It’s lovely there. It’s ancient. I won’t take it. I’m not the type.

  BITES

  (To FLOWER.) Did you know my son was killed? Do you know about it?

  FLOWER

  Yes, I’m sorry.

  OVERWEIGHT

  So you’re here to say goodbye.

  FLOWER

  Yes, I keep crying.

  PALE

  She’ll forget all about me.

  FLOWER

  He doesn’t mean that.

  PALE

  It’s my beautiful country, that’s what it is.

  BLUE

  Listen. Listen.

  OVERWEIGHT

  Listen. Look. Blood

  They all turn to the tv. We can’t see the screen or hear what’s said. They listen and look, then explode in triumph.

  Dead.

  BLUE

  Yes!

  FLOWER

  What?

  QUIET MAN

  They’ve got him.

  BITES

  He’s dead.

  BLUE

  Did you hear that?

  OVERWEIGHT

  Like a dog.

  PALE

  Yaaay.

  They all start a chant, which goes on for some time, continuing while other things are said.

  ALL

  Zig zig zig, zag zag zag, zig zig zig, zag zag zag…

  BITES

  Oh god oh god oh god

  BLUE

  (To PALE.) Specially for you.

  OVERWEIGHT

  Go go go.

  The chant dies down, laughter.

  FLOWER

  I can’t help feeling

  QUIET MAN

  This calls for a drink. Shall we let her out?

  OVERWEIGHT

  Listen!

  The OVERWEIGHT MAN goes to the window.

  Look! The trees!

  The OVERWEIGHT MAN rushes off indoors (to the garden) followed by the WOMAN IN BLUE and the QUIET MAN.

  PALE

  Can’t help feeling what?

  FLOWER

  Nothing.

  PALE

  What?

  FLOWER

  A bit sorry for him.

  PALE

  I can. Do you love me?

  FLOWER

  Yes. Do you love me?

  PALE

  Yes. That’s good then.

  BITES

  Where’s everyone gone?

  FLOWER

  I think people should try to forgive each other.

  PALE

  We can’t do that.

  FLOWER

  No, I know.

>   PALE

  I’ll tell you something. If you love me.

  FLOWER

  What?

  BITES

  What are you whispering about?

  FLOWER

  Tell me.

  PALE

  I don’t want to do it. I don’t think I can do it.

  FLOWER

  You can.

  PALE

  I don’t want to.

  The QUIET MAN comes back.

  QUIET MAN

  False alarm. Want a drink?

  PALE

  Not now.

  FLOWER

  Yes, please.

  QUIET

  (To PALE.) You’ll get drunk a lot if you get the chance.

  BITES

  There’s my brave boy. Bite.

  FLOWER

  I’m sorry, I can’t stop crying.

  PALE

  Zig zig zig.

  2.

  Another country. A living room. It is identical and the furniture is identical except it’s in different positions.

  A MAN WHO BITES HIS NAILS, about forty-five, and a YOUNG WOMAN WITH A CIGARETTE.

  YW w CIG

  It’s a big cause.

  MAN NAlLS

  Have you ever seen a man dead?

  CIG

  Will you stop shouting at me?

  NAILS

  Did I raise my voice?

  CIG

  I’m not the one breaking up our marriage.

  NAILS

  You want it to break up, do you?

  CIG

  I get tired of it.

  NAILS

  I do think it’s right to try to be good.

  CIG

  Do you love me?

  NAILS

  Yes.

  CIG

  It’s my beautiful country, that’s what it is.

  NAILS

  Do you love me?

  CIG

  What do you think?

  NAILS

  I want you so much.

  CIG

  I want you so much too.

  NAILS

  He’ll be down in a minute.

  CIG

  I’ve had enough of your brother.

  NAILS

  He’s insane.

  CIG

  He’s going to be a hero.

  NAILS

  You know what he did?

  Doorbell. The YOUNG WOMAN WITH A CIGARETTE opens the street door and a DRUNK WOMAN, late forties, her mother, and a WOMAN WITH A LIMP, seventies, her grandmother, come in, embracing her.

  DRUNK W

  Here we are.

  CIG

  Come to see him off? He’s in his room.

  NAILS

  Drink?

  DRUNK

  Are we celebrating? I am.

  WOMAN w LIMP

  Did I hear crying? Is she shut in her room again?

  CIG

  She’s the one with a problem.

  DRUNK

  Bastard came up on the inside so I cut in front to show him and he nearly drove me off the road. There was a dead dog.

  NAILS

  You?

  DRUNK

  No one could blame me.

  CIG

  Drinking again.

  DRUNK

  I don’t want to talk about that.

  CIG

  No, I know.

  DRUNK

  Guess who’s making a fuss. You drink too much.

  LIMP

  She’s not crying any more.

  CIG

  Her parents know what to do, thank you.

  A SPEEDY YOUNG MAN, brother of the man who bites his nails, enters from indoors. He is wearing a military uniform, not the same as the pale young man wore in 1.

  DRUNK

  The hero’s coming.

  SPEEDY

  YM So you’re here to say goodbye.

  DRUNK

  Celebrating. You’re a good boy. Maybe he’ll kill some of them.

  NAILS

  Don’t get excited.

  SPEEDY

  I’ll kill them all right.

  CIG

  Killing’s not enough.

  SPEEDY

  Drink?

  DRUNK

  Let’s. It’s his last day.

  CIG

  We keep watch all the time so they can’t get away with anything. You can’t let them think they’ve got you where they want you. They’re vermin.

  NAILS

  I can’t help feeling…

  CIG

  What?

  NAILS

  Nothing. Just let it go.

  CIG

  I’m not the one that started this. Don’t try and put it on me.

  NAILS

  I didn’t say that.

  CIG

  I believe in what we’re doing.

  LIMP

  Shall we let her out? Shall I get her?

  CIG

  There’s someone kept calling me names when I was at school, I was about fifteen, and one day I jumped right on her.

  SPEEDY

  Bastards.

  CIG

  You have to break their spirit.

  SPEEDY

  The body was by the road right in the middle of the view and I thought, that’s dead, that’s really dead, it was getting squashy, there was a lot of flies, and I suddenly thought I could do that if it really helped my country, if I could take some of those bastards out.

  CIG

  I could do that.

  NAILS

  You want it.

  SPEEDY

  I’m basically a very peaceful person. But we have to.

  CIG

  I know.

  DRUNK

  There’s my brave boy. He is.

  SPEEDY

  There was nothing left. She was asking for it. She fell down. And before she could get herself sorted out, I stuffed it in her mouth. I don’t expect to be happy. But happy to do something.

  NAILS

  And that’s the bit he tells. I know what you get up to. You’re a monster.

  CIG

  He doesn’t mean that.

  SPEEDY

  I’m what?

  CIG

  He’s just as bad.

  NAILS

  Am I?

  CIG

  Yes, you are. Nobody talks about that.

  SPEEDY

  A clear conscience?

  CIG

  A peaceful person. (To NAILS.) You’ve nothing to say.

  NAILS

  If I did…

  SPEEDY

  Is it bad?

  NAILS

  Of course.

  SPEEDY

  It’s not surprising. Tell me.

  NAILS

  I don’t think I can.

  CIG

  Mind you, I’m not saying he’s wrong. It’s fine because…

  NAILS

  Because I mean well?

  DRUNK

  What are you whispering about? Do you know they want to build ugly little houses? They’re such beautiful trees too. And the government wants to take that away. Bastards. Everything I earned.

  CIG

  You’re drinking too much. I’m not listening.

  DRUNK

  What do you know about it, you stupid child? There’s nothing I inherited except my father’s lefthandedness.

  LIMP

  And his hair.

  DRUNK

  Can’t help feeling what… Our way of life. It’s the trees. And what I believe in, which is threatened.

  LIMP

  Yes, that’s the most important thing.

  DRUNK

  I keep crying.

  LIMP

  (Of DRUNK.) Everything’s all right. She’s just calming down.

  DRUNK

  Bastards. I’ll tell you something. You have to kill.

  CIG

  Drink, drink, specially for you. You can have it. Get drunk. I’m past caring.

  NAILS

  Listen.

&nbs
p; CIG

  What’s happened?

  SPEEDY

  Listen. Look. They’ve got him.

  They all turn to the tv. We can’t see the screen or hear what’s said. They listen and look then explode in triumph.

 

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