DRUNK
Oh.
LIMP
Gone.
SPEEDY
Dead.
CIG
That’s dead, that’s really dead.
NAILS
Did you hear that?
DRUNK
Dog.
They all start a chant which goes on for some time, continuing while other things are said.
ALL
Zig zig zig, zag zag zag, zig zig zig, zag zag zag…
DRUNK
Drink.
SPEEDY
(To CIG secretly.) I want you so much
CIG
(To SPEEDY secretly.) I said no.
LIMP
He’s dead. Oh god.
SPEEDY
(To CIG secretly.) You’re sensible, that’s what it is.
DRUNK
Go go go.
The chant dies down, laughter.
NAILS
This calls for a drink.
DRUNK
Celebrating.
NAILS
It could be a peaceful time now.
CIG
No, it’s ancient.
NAILS
I think people should try to forgive each other.
SPEEDY
Is he a big enough man to forgive me?
LIMP
(Aside to DRUNK.) Shall we let her out? I’m going to let her out.
DRUNK
(Aside to LIMP.) You’re not. We mustn’t. We can’t do that.
LIMP
(Aside to DRUNK.) I can.
NAILS
(To SPEEDY.) Might as well.
CIG
That’s good then. And?
SPEEDY
I’m not the type.
Banging about outside then banging at the front door and ringing of doorbell. The WOMAN WITH A LIMP gets up unnoticed except by the DRUNK WOMAN and exits indoors.
What’s happening out there?
The SPEEDY YOUNG MAN produces a gun.
NAILS
No. It’s your idea.
More banging at the door.
DRUNK
Oh god.
The MAN WHO BITES HIS NAILS opens the front door. A MAN WHO IS A WRECK comes in. He is very bedraggled and carries a large strong bin bag full of possessions. The SPEEDY YOUNG MAN puts the gun away.
CIG
False alarm. We have a visitor.
NAILS
It’s all right. I did tell you.
WRECK
(Of himself.) He’d like to see you.
SPEEDY
Just don’t get him started.
CIG
He’s not staying. Not now.
WRECK
Aren’t I? I’ve something to say to you.
DRUNK
It’s because he’s suffered isn’t it.
CIG
I know he has. He’s a criminal.
DRUNK
A bit sorry for him. His grandfather was a missionary.
WRECK
Listen. My darling was completely destroyed. It doesn’t take long. A puddle.
Blood. A handful of mud. There, my dear. She was skinny but she was pretty. Gone.
CIG
He always tells that story.
NAILS
How long’s he not staying for?
WRECK
Did you know my son was killed? I won’t take it. He gave his life bringing the truth. They’ve got graves to go to. You have. And whose fault is it? I’m not saying.
DRUNK
Want a drink?
WRECK
I can’t stop crying. Oh god. Yes please. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Sending another one off to be killed? If you love me. If you get the chance. With me. Zig zig zig.
The WOMAN WITH A LIMP comes back.
LIMP
(To DRUNK.) Asleep.
WRECK
Just a bit overweight. Jellybelly, doubletrouble. Another thing, I’ve been hurt. A lot. Bastards. (Pulling up his shirt.) I got I got… Help me. Like a bite. Pus. With disinfectant. Could make me end up dead.
DRUNK
There then.
CIG
I don’t need this.
LIMP
I could be really happy to be dead. Have some peace. She’ll forget all about me. It’s lovely there. Music day and night. Forever.
SPEEDY
I expect to be nothing. I pushed her in and… and someone… I didn’t raise my voice. They want to destroy us, remember that.
LIMP
How long’s forever?
DRUNK
What?
WRECK
I want to see him. Where’s everyone gone? The people I love. Where is he? Go and get him.
Doorbell. The SPEEDY YOUNG MAN has the gun again. The YOUNG WOMAN WITH A CIGARETTE takes it from him.
SPEEDY
Yes. Do it.
CIG
I don’t want to do it.
SPEEDY
You can.
CIG
Yes. Good. I don’t want to. Yes.
NAILS
And?
DRUNK
Zig zig zig.
NAILS
Come in.
The MAN WHO BITES HIS NAILS
starts to open the front door.
Black.
End.
HERE WE GO
Here We Go was first performed in the Lyttelton auditorium of the National Theatre, London, on 27 November 2015 (previews from 25 November). The cast was as follows:
Madeline Appiah
Susan Engel
Patrick Godfrey
Hazel Holder
Joshua James
Amanda Lawrence
Stuart McQuarrie
Eleanor Matsuura
Alan Williams
Director
Dominic Cooke
Designer
Vicki Mortimer
Lighting Designer
Guy Hoare
Sound Designer
Christopher Shutt
Note
The number of actors can vary in different productions. Not fewer than three in the first scene and not more than eight – five or six is probably good. Age and gender can also be decided. The character in After can be but needn’t be the man whose funeral it is in the first scene. Same with Getting There, and the carer may or may not be someone we’ve met before.
1. HERE WE GO
The speeches at the end of the scene are to be inserted at random during the dialogue. There are ten – use as many as you need for each character to have one.
The place is a party after a funeral.
We miss him
of course
everyone
but his closest
because friendship was
wider range of acquaintance than anyone I’ve ever
gift
closeness
listened
and so witty I remember him saying
listened and understood
always seemed
though of course are you any wiser when you’re older I feel sixteen all the time
all he’d lived through
the war the war not so many people left who
and Spain even imagine
what how old
no he did
and he never actually joined the party because of what they did to the anarchists so
not that he was an anarchist
unless sexually
well yes there
and is the third wife here are they all
in the red hat
isn’t that the daughter?
no the big red
and is that her partner with the beard?
all the women seem
yes they all kiss but I wonder
except of course
she’s keeping very quiet
love of his life
they say
though he was an old goat
of course
such charm
was the thing
yes because he didn’t look
oh when he was young
none of us can remember
well I can
of course
he was a vision at thirty
and photos photos have you seen there are some on the table in the
yes on a horse, about twelve
but his mind
yes his mind
extraordinary mind
literature of course but also
literature of France, Spain, Russia, every South American
physics, he had an extremely scientific
could have been
never fully
an mp in the fifties
I never knew
oh yes
which party
well obviously
yes but he was a libertarian
man of the left
always fell out
a bit too much of an individualist some might
just quarrelsome
but then he’d make it up with a bunch of flowers
I always remember a time he
and did you meet his friend Bill?
who isn’t here or is he?
would we recognise?
heavy drinker
he put it away himself
but could always carry
champagne in hospital
so wonderful
never complained
well he did
terrible temper
I never saw
swore at the nurses
well I suppose anyone
yes pain
pain does change
horrible to see
morphine
can make you feel very happy, when I broke my pelvis
or sick
confused
sounded as if he was demented but of course we knew it was
though he always did have a temper
I never saw
perhaps you didn’t annoy
only the people who were closest
no, people he didn’t know, cold-callers
van drivers
dogs
dogs?
he hated
never knew that
cats cats cats
yes what’s going to happen
his daughter said she could take the old ginger tom but
in a flat?
cats like places of course more than people, they
your cat?
stopped being sick everywhere thank god, the vet’s bills
and how are you keeping now you’re
yes fantastic
wonderful job
New York in the morning so I can’t stay too long I’ve got to
promotion
still hoping
painting
out of work so long now I
keeping busy
your new partner I hear
getting married
and you always said
yes but love when it really
yes
you don’t quite expect
so happy for you
yes after all those
and we’re expecting a baby in September but don’t
so great
just close friends till
of course
another drink
have to remember I’m driving so
see all these people
yes because we hardly ever
and so many people I’ve never set eyes
all his different walks of
who’ve known him for sixty years
only met him last summer but he
talking to one of the carers
closer to him at the end I think than
well someone who washes
and wipes
you do love who you look after and who looks after you like that’s how with babies
or cats
all one way with cats
no stroking them reduces our
lovely service
favourite
but he wasn’t a Christian surely or was it his
but what do you do?
plenty of people nowadays, pop songs, poems
yes despite everything he was rather
I don’t think he cared, he’s not the type who’d plan
no, plan their own service, oh dear
must keep an eye on the time
far to go?
came on the M23 and the roadworks at junction
go back through
long way round
stay overnight
long day tomorrow
I did cry
no I never actually have at a funeral
what sort of
self-pity and anger mainly I’m afraid, so
but that sort of lofty
uplifting
some bits of music
but not today’s for me
no but the thought
yes hard to believe he’s gone even though
it comes at you suddenly doesn’t it
like stepping on a rake
I know after my mother
well parents of course are a different
not really
because then you’re next
but you think your friend’s still there in a different city and not seeing them is
yes and then it hits you you’ll never
and I find I can’t remember voices
no not for long
we should all be recorded
please no, photographs are bad enough
oh but I love
let it go and just remember whatever we
the oddest things
can see him standing on one leg, I think it was in France were you there
no I never went to that house just to the one in what was that street?
very funny
he was
he could tell a joke
yes I can never remember
One of these is spoken by each of the characters directly to the audience. They should be inserted randomly into the previous dialogue in any order. The number of years later can be adjusted if necessary to make sense for the characters.
I die the next day. I’m knocked over by a motorbike crossing a road in North London. I think I can get over while the light’s red but I’m looking for cars. I’m dead before the ambulance comes and it comes very quickly.
I die eleven years later. I have a heart attack swimming in the North Sea in January. I’d done it before all right.
I die thirty-eight years later of lung cancer. I hadn’t realised before that you have different kinds of cancer depending on where it starts so you can have breast cancer in your brain, and I have lung cancer in my liver. I don’t find the pain relief as helpful as I’d hoped.
I die five years later stabbed by an intruder. I keep a knife by the bed and when I brandish it he snatches it. He’s shocked by the blood, he’s saying sorry sorry and then I pass out.
I die twenty-six years later. I slip over on the icy steps going to put out the rubbish and break my hip, and my chest gets worse lying in bed. I have given up smoking but a bit late.
I die forty years later in my sleep, which is a relief. I was expecting to live to see the baby.
I die seven years later of a brain tumour. It takes a while for the doctors to pay attention to the headaches but maybe it would have spread anyway.
I die sixty-two years later. More and more things aren’t working. They put pneumonia on the death certificate.
I die twenty-three years later after nine years of Alzheimer’s. I don’t know anyone who’s there.
I die six months later. I hang myself. I should have thought about who’d find me.
2. AFTER
One person. Very fast.
Falling falling down the tunnel down the tunnel a tunnel a light a train a tube train aaah coming to kill me
but I’m already dead is that right and ah here I am arrived somewhere and he
llo is that grandpa?
surely not greater light and further shore no
but is this the pearly gates yes look actual pearls and that’s St Peter beard key
but I don’t believe anything like
and it’s gone is anyone there hello
there must be vast numbers of us that’s a comfort far more than the living
except of course there used to be fewer living at any one time so maybe the living now equal all the dead could that be but even so there are billions right back to cave and where are they
oh there they are here we are I’m just a speck of sand in a desert oh
or what is this are we all standing on the Isle of Wight it’s worse than the tube at rush hour I can’t get my face away from his back I don’t want
ah that’s better they’ve gone I’m on my own
I’m on my own
and what’s happened to me what’s going to happen I always was afraid despite everything there’d be a judgement and I’d be a goat not a sheep thinking of those herds in North Africa where they’re mixed together and it can be hard to tell I understood the metaphor then very good
and I think they don’t emphasise hell these days but you can’t be sure because there’s nothing kind about the universe just rushing apart
and even our little place in it we evolved to belong has hurricanes and cancer and is kind for some but often unkind and they have to live with foul water or wake up in dread and what would it be like to have to live your life as someone obsessed with having sex with children or wanting to kill what would you do with that
and it might not be fair to punish them but it may not be fair because the universe isn’t so who says god is if there is one here somewhere
and hell used to be mediaeval tortures pincers and fire and we thought god can’t do that because no one would do that
Plays 5 Page 7